one very important thought

You never really know who your true friends are till your dead. I don't know how many times I've sat on the shower floor with my wrist bleeding or on my bedroom floor with a bottle of pills In my hands crying my eyes out and all my "friends" are to busy to come see me. They all say I brought it on my self. But I don't understand we've all loved someone who made us feel special but then destroyed us. But how is it my fault that his baby momma is crazy and wants to kill me? Or people would tell him anything to leave me? Or they'd say I'm just being a baby and need to grow up. But this saddest I have in my body isn't going to leave till I'm dead and maybe that's when all my friends will see that I needed them before it was to late

It's so hard being myself I don't even know myself anymore. I got so turned upside down in this new world I discovered when I was 16 that I don't remember anything. I can't tell you what I did yesterday because all the cocaine has gotten to my brain. Being a daily user is horrible and I now understand why. The rapid weight loss is bad. I use to be pretty but now I look like death. I want to find myself but I can't leave this world. The only thing that makes me happy is blow. Nothing compares to it. I'd do anything and everything for it. And I have before I've felt so dirty after I sucked dick for blow. Or after I had sex for blow. Or when I gave my little brother it. I'm duh a bad person and this isn't who I am.

It all starts out being fun and games.thinking that this one time buying this fucking life destroying drug is fun.its fun at first you don't think anything of it. You crush up that white rock, and roll that bill. And in the 3 seconds it takes you to snort it, you feel alive.you never thought it was gonna take over your life. You never thought you'd lose your friends because of it. You lied, you stole from your parents. Just so you could get that fix. You became a crack whore because you couldn't afford your habit. But in the time you took your clothes off for those dealers you thought the were there for something else but they wanted sex and you wanted to be loved and the drugs. After they were done they left you there. They didn't care if you died or if you lived. All they saw was the money and the whore that you are. This drug that I can't over come turned me into the monster I am today and I can't get enough of it

PARTY ✔

neon men----------------LOVE THIS ONE!!