shannonnara

The shit show that is our current political system has me seething with anger, sadness, pain.

When men tell me that gender bias and sexual assault cases are handled well and I’m just blowing it out of proportion… I get very angry. Not even just as a survivor, or woman, or mother… but as a fucking human being.

How… why… is this our world?

We can talk until we are blue about why we didn’t report,…

I Checked Myself Into the Psych Ward

Seven months ago I checked myself into the hospital. I was suffering from major depressive disorder and suicidal ideations. My body was having constant physiological symptoms of anxiety, I didn’t eat much, and would have debilitating panic attacks – even in public.

2017 was supposed to be a year of brand new, exciting adventures. Beginning a new chapter in my life was meant to be happy and feel…

I wrote a play. A one-woman play about her hilarious journey to rock bottom. After several revisions and a lot of feedback, my next step is a staged reading. The Monocle is the venue hosting on April 26, 2018, 8pm. I’ll have more info coming soon!

A Path of Thorns

After nine weeks of 2018, it’s time to move on to another chapter. Psychologically, I feel strong. Well, stronger than I have in the past. I wish I could bring my therapist from St. Louis with me everywhere. The work I’ve done with her has been really beneficial and I am not excited to find a new one. I’m focused on supporting myself by pursuing my writing, keeping a new job, and realizing what I…

Eight. Eight is one of my favorite numbers. It’s also the number of weeks that have passed in 2018. The chaos of life caused me to miss writing a post for seven. My life is never boring. Like, ever. Even when it seems remotely unexciting, there is always something that delivers chaos. Sometimes it’s just my brain doing that. I used to feed off of that chaos, convincing myself that it was an…

Blonde Doppio Loses To A Love Poem

And then there were six. Six weeks lived in 2018. While I love the Blonde espresso from Starbucks, I’m not a fan of the macchiato. Even the blond espresso is bitter all by it’s lonesome (well, except for a dollop of frothed coconut milk). I tried it a few times, and I’ve decided I have collected all the data I need. Time for a new experiment. The rest of the week feels like a personal slump.…

Being Woke and Blind

Officially in February with five weeks of 2018 in the rearview. We all make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. Sometimes inadvertently. Sometimes purposefully. We have all, I’m sure, made choices that are hurtful because we convincedourselves that it’ll be good in the long run. Even us woke people. Yup, even woke people can exhibit behavior that is in line with the issue they vehemently work to…

A full four weeks into 2018 already. I wouldn’t call myself a creature of habit. I’m prone to getting bored once ideas need more detail. I often love the adventure of change and growth. But don’t get me wrong, huge changes can and have triggered intense, debilitating anxiety and depression. In the last couple of years, I’ve tried putting in place more routines as a way to take better care of…

Another week of life in the new year has passed. It’s been a good three weeks in 2018. This last week’s discovery came while I was indoor rock climbing. Climbing was quickly addictive when I started it a couple years ago, but since my move in June, I haven’t had access to a gym. Luckily, my yearlong membership to Upper Limits in STL is still active until the end of January. So, when I first got…

I have successfully made it through the second full week of 2018. Not that I didn’t plan to, but still. Keeping failure in mind and with my always-going-never-stopping brain, I’ve thought about my new goal of experimenting in order to collect data and then just moving on. It’s been a nice change of pace for me. With anxiety (hereto referred to as Brenda), my mind can and does spiral into wells…

The first week of 2018 is behind me. I thought a bit about what Ben Noble of I’m Making All This Up said in his newsletter last week. Choose a word to set the tone for the year. Since that seems too vague and simultaneously too constricting, I’ll choose different words to focus on as needed. This week I thought a lot about failure. I chastise and belittle myself all the time for failing. Failing…

How to tell my new coworkers

October 7, 2017 Dear 1360, In the words of the Terminator, “I’ll be back.” My Schwarzenegger impression is the pits, but imagine my voice with a spot-on accent and steely gaze from my hazel eyes. I’m not sure that anyone will actually read this because it’s a lot of words without a numbered list full of pictures and/or memes, which is an immediate, “Thanks, but no thanks, “ these days. So, if…

Because I thought he was cute And flirted with him And offered him my couch to sleep on Some say I consented   Because he could have ruined my reputation Or spewed words of disgust at me Or physically overpowered me I relented   Because I wasn’t aggressive when I said no And didn’t throw him out And eventually said ok Some say I consented   Because he refused to leave my bed Or talked about his…

Nighttime by Shannon Nara There are moments That blur the reality When I slide into bed Or roll over Or half wake That I feel you Your breath on my neck You hand reaching for mine Your whispered, “I’m home.”   And for a split second A deep warmth Fills my entire body Into my fingers and toes Into my heart And then it’s gone Your breath on my neck Your hand reaching for mine Your whispered, “I’m…

Dear St. Louis,   To be embarrassingly honest, I couldn’t have pointed to St. Louis on a map before I moved here. I grew up in California and Pennsylvania and our education system isn’t great at instilling a love for geography, especially the flyovers.   I didn’t plan on staying long. As a military brat and former military myself, moving frequently had become part of my DNA (plus, I missed living…

The Keys of Wealth

The Keys of Wealth by Shannon Nara   Shaped metal hanging from a ring Feeling comfort of home   Plastic tabs in organized rows Writing about love   Ivorite-handled hammers strike Vibrating the sound of joy   Tropical lands surrounded by water Inviting peace and tranquility   Meanings hidden for us to find Creating answers for life