Prima Donna👽

A triple dog dare Are you still scared, my dear? We’re so high up, I’ll hold your hand Notice how that worked Hit your inhaler, catch my breath Waiting, hoping, praying it’s just another nightmare Purple sheets; when I wake up you’ll be there You’d never do that, not to me Seven months, still grasping, re-wrapping the seams you unraveled while I kept us together Grasp the future Gasp,…

Divine intervention between my legs Starry eyes, and blue and purple space wrapped around both sides of my waist An in sync dance that cherry stains my face Hiking where waterfalls mist pine trees I didn’t even need an antihistamine 11:11 make a wish it’s only been a few days Already anticipating slipping my tongue between those lips, slipping your tongue between my hips Pardon my…

This was supposed to be fun You joke that I like you, and I do so I guess you won You know it’s not pity If you knew me you’d know I also moved from my city I want you to want to know me, but You don’t know what you want, You’re afraid to be near me I’m just collateral damage but I’m glad I helped you learn boundaries I wish I had bad intentions I really don’t It’s not my fault that…

I’m alone again In a clean apartment, self esteem wrecked Almost across the finish line , the end of another awful month for the books that are my limbo memoirs I’ve been here before, and I’ll be here again I’m not the girl you move the mountain for Mountains don’t move, and my Kanye complex is shocked every time the bipolar bitch backlash proves I don’t live amongst mountains, only ruin A…

Photos of you I can’t delete Saving them in loving memory I’m sorry you let it end this way Do not, I mean will not resuscitate I love you babe But I swear to your God, you’re so dead to me R I P Here lies the love of my life The one I made up in my head The only hallucination I’ve had while medicated A made up love story, tainted memories, pictures of me smiling faintly clouds in my…

Too proud to pull the knives out Cuts too deep to cauterize Words and a lack there of so cold and hateful, dry ice They don’t know we’re both cats when you tell them you’re a mouse, narratives written out of cognitive dissonance Lies spun while you lie me down on the kitchen floor, kiss me softly, promise me a future while we decorate our front door You didn’t mean to, I know. Fear of…

Bag is packed Three hours to sleep Good night Nashville Happy Birthday & congratulations A year in the life ends Let him go Rory, write him out, you have yourself. No need to hold on to the ending you wanted. The truth reads better. It’s far less daunting. It’s not tragic it’s the beauty of mystery and love and magic The dramatics are over, the chiefs took the ring, and so did she Happy…

I go through the motions You told me to move on I’m doing just that, but I think you were wrong I’m finding myself, at the bottom of a velvet ocean, drowning from trauma and a lack of devotion Why can’t I be the best version of me without a FUCKING pharmacy I’m trying I’m sleepy I’m doing my best, but I feel my feet slip underneath when I’m stressed I wish you’d be here, and wouldn’t…

I didn’t cry I couldn’t help but peek for just a second You looked happy, happier than you would’ve been anxious from another negative retort from the lips of a girl you love, connected to my mouth I didn’t cry, I loved seeing your curls and half smile, wide eyed and free for the moment from the tentacles I hide What happens when she gets drunk again, back to where we began to begin again I…

Strawberries instead of cookies Green tea ice cream, DA dreams She was going to save the world All the kids in foster care, she was going to love them out of unfit homes and into candy land villages with shark boy adventures She ate pine nuts and played sims And loved her mom, that was it She squeezed her bean-less stuffed dog They’re yelling again, this is normal Mommy don’t cry we have…

Bipolar disorder my mind the Maquis against a Wehrmacht soldier I brave forward unmedicated liberated from an illness vindicated I’m the good guy at least you’re aware Black and white I’m the pirate you’re the raider live in your gray; I’ll stay hopeful for a hint of gold, different worlds both revolve around ball Neither never a shot at normal at all We are a product of our…

So tired of same thoughts drifting through nothing & back to you I need a new life to be someone without holes in my mind If I cant solve this cube, do I get a redo? I can’t move on from things never there, but still gone Half my life a dream I don’t remember how it slipped don’t want it to end, but then the sunshine comes and ruins my nights of infinite rise & demise & then ride again It…

Now that I’ve grown up I sleep with a few dozen nightlights that way my dreams won’t be so dark if it was up to me it would be one million, and I’d just sleep under the stars if I felt safe I’d be nomadic In my imagination life isn’t so tragic but that’s not the case, so I guess I’m stuck daydreaming in traffic on my way to work at a job that I love till I find reason to hate it

Brother, sister a yellow orange and brownish Mr. one for every season except summer I wake up at three it gets dark at five so tell me again how to feel alive a Cannery ballroom bathroom stall Yuengling lingering on my lips feelings, what feelings? I stall you were never real at all i found myself at the bottom of a few dozen beers, but when I’m there I don’t wish you were here I tell…

We’ve been down this road before last time I lost control of the car hydroplaned from puddles of tears on the shower floor with a shower beer Stood up and broke the mirror Now.. I cant… see myself.. I cant drink you out she triggered my shame again now I have to let them all in the loss, the emotion, the heartache just a notion vasopressin and oxytocin I don’t need drugs; my mind is…

I wait for the day that you’re fingers break what your mind won’t and send a small message its inevitable, and I miss the way you pondered the people around you everything premeditated sure I should be medicated, but I’d rather hold on to dreams I cant remember till I’m asleep did you love overwatch or did maybe you love the girl who fawned over every moment does she come up in your happiest…

Those words were never easier for you to say or for mto second guess a backyard dance, and years of stress jack and coke sweeping me off my feet always too scared of losing a moment to say how I felt until that blocked bundle branch heart blocked something in mine with a couple of lies and an ugly cry goodbye conniption fits of rage in my brain, a hidden illness offing any chances of feeling…