Anime Girl In The Least Sexy Way Possible

We should keep in mind that TADC is not a show about good guys and bad guys.

There's no hero that's chasing the villain, there's no protagonist that's going to come out victorious and there's no antagonist that's going to be blasted into oblivion and defeated for good.

TADC is a show about 6 deeply mentally ill, traumatized people who cope with being trapped in a horrible situation in vastly different ways. Jax copes by choosing to continue the cycle of abuse, despite being a victim himself, he chooses to also be an abuser in order to regain control of his surroundings, after losing everything when he first woke up here.

But, I want to start this off by reviewing what exactly happened in the scene where he presses the button, because that is what we're talking about after all.

The cast enter the room, silently, and are met with a giant blue screen and 2 big buttons; Red and blue. The screen describes to them exactly what each button does. The red button will keep you trapped forever. The blue button will set you free.

Pomni approaches first, then hesitates. Abel's words weren't sitting right with her. She pushes Kinger to choose instead, hoping it's dark enough for him to be able to come to his senses and make a wiser decision.

Jax sits in the background, observing, at first wanting no part in what's going on.

However, as Pomni and the others begin to cast their disagreements, Jax's anxiety suddenly starts to get worse. He starts hyperventilating, his eyes go blurry, he can't seem to calm down no matter how much he breathes.

Pictures flash in his mind, memories of the real world. Are they his memories? Who knows. But they are undoubtedly images of the real world outside the circus. The world Caine seems to have a strange obsession for.

His breathing gets louder, the flashes get worse, the pressure is on. Jax is having trouble grounding himself to reality, and in a moment of disoriented madness, he shoves Zooble out of the way, dashing for the two large buttons before him.

Pomni stands in front of the red button.

And he doesn't shove her out of the way.

Why?

Nevertheless, Jax slams an arm on a button. We don't even know if he knows it was the red one.

Silence.

Ragatha asks Jax what he just did, shellshocked by the absurdity of it all.

Jax looks down at the button, confused, coming to his senses. His panic attack only slows down after he finally chooses a button. And he doesn't say anything, not a single confirmation that he was confident about his choice.

When Ragatha prompts him, Jax doesn't know how to answer. Why? Why doesn't know how to answer? He made that decision, didn't he? Shouldn't he be able to justify it?

Should he?

This is where the lines get blurry. Many people are certain that it's one or the other.

Either Jax was mind controlled.

Or Jax did this out of his own free will.

I disagree with both. I don't think it's that simple.

There's nothing in Jax's general philosophy hinting that he wants to stay in the circus. In fact, we're usually lead to believe the opposite.

In episode 6, Jax tells Pomni that he knows she hates it here, everyone does. In episode 5, Jax also tells Pomni that he doesn't understand how Ragatha can pretend everything is okay in a situation like this.

He also tells Pomni, in episode 6, that the silver lining is that "you can pretty much do whatever you want." But does it make sense that this one philosophy is enough for Jax to justify wanting to stay in Hell? Especially when he doesn't even fully take advantage of this most of the time?

Jax wasn't mind controlled by Caine. But he was influenced.

The decision to press the red button wasn't one he made while fully himself, and given the fact that Jax never believed any of this was real anyway, it's unlikely he was even aware of the gravity of the situation. Or believed in it like the rest of the cast did.

When Pomni starts to doubt her decision, and Zooble pressures her to push the blue button, THAT'S when Jax's panic attack starts happening.

We already know that Caine is impatient and needs validation to function, that he starts glitching out and getting upset at the slightest hint of criticism.

It's very possible that Caine started getting impatient and decided to pressure Jax into pushing the button by provoking him into a panic attack, flashing strange pictures of the "macroverse" in his mind and possibly even amplifying his emotions way higher than they were supposed to be.

And so Jax, in an effort to stop the pain, lunges forward and slams his arm down on the red button.

In "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream", Ted describes how he believes that he is AM's favorite because he's messed with him the least, and enjoys toying with his mind the most.

Caine chose Jax out of all the characters to organize this weird date with him, and to give him the validation he's been looking for.

There's also other hints dropped in the show that Jax is Caine's favorite.

Caine decides to give Jax the gun first. Caine chooses 2 of Jax's suggestions over the others. Caine never punishes Jax for any of the stuff he puts the cast through. Jax is also the only character Caine addresses directly in episode 1 as he's introducing Pomni to the circus; "Gadzooks you're right, Jax! We should have a brand new adventure for our new member Pomni!"

And have we forgotten that we already have proof Caine can beam images into the humans minds when he literally did this in episode 6 with Jax?

After being prompted by Ragatha, Jax doesn't look confident, or angry, or calm. He looks confused. Almost traumatized.

Jax's agency wasn't fully removed when he was pushing that button. But it's not like he had an active choice either as he was being coerced into doing it by Caine. Similarly to how in episode 2, Jax coerces Gangle into slamming the truck against the other by threatening to leak her weird secret.

"This is your life, this is the real world, you have no one to go back to, you have no one waiting for you. I am the only one that loves you. I love you. Stay with me. I love you. Do it. Press the red button. Stay with me forever. There's nothing left for you out there."

Ted never loses his agency to AM. His personality is never directly altered, his body was never changed like the others. He isn't made crazy like Kinger, his emotions never dependant on his masks like Gangle, his body isn't fragile like Zooble's, and he's not made into a peacekeeper like Ragatha.

He is authentically a cynical, paranoid, and broken young man. And yet, AM still has a fair amount of control over the choices he's allowed to make.

Following the events of episode 6, it was expected that Jax would be more distant with Pomni. His mental health is dwindling, yet despite that he seemed softer towards Pomni. Meanwhile Pomni isn’t pushing him in any way, she’s gentle when speaking to him and generally just trying to let him know that she’s there for him.

Pomni definitely still cares about him. She doesn’t want him to be left alone. Jax didn’t bite or ignore her outright, instead he agreed neutrally.

This here is my favorite funnybunny scene of episode 7. Jax felt uneasy about being thrown up first, and of course Pomni notices and reassures him. Look at how he flinched at the soft sound of his name. 🥹

He’s taking in the puppy eyes lol. The reassurance coming from Pomni was probably grounding.

1 2 3 folded. Whatever you say, Pompom.

Nobody noticed Jax feeling unwell at this point, and if they did they didn’t care much to ask. Except Pomni. Pomni and her puppy eyes again.

Another neutral reply from Jax. I don’t think Jax knew Pomni is even there lol, he was totally in his head.

The amazing thing about Pomni is that she doesn’t tell Jax she still cares about him…she just shows it. By extending a hand to him, by including him, by making sure he’s okay. She doesn’t even know she saved him from abstraction by interrupting and finding him in the dark.

Jax doesn’t feel well. He isn’t well at all. But he’s not stupid, he knows what Pomni is doing by offering him her hand. In a way it’s symbolic, she’s reaching out literally and figuratively.

He doesn’t have to accept this kindness or respond to it. But it’s there anyways. Being present for someone suffering with depression is all you can do, and she’s doing just that whether she knows he’s ill or not.