Desperado

Im in over my head and maybe one day youll realize how much im trying to put things back together

I cant keep anybody happy its impossible and in doing so i cant even keep myself happy. How much ive tried every minute of the day to make you happy the one person i want happy and i am empty body and mind i need help and i always refuse because people are always helping and maybe its my pride i dont know the only thing i have going for me in all of life is that im still alive. Start from scratch every day. Climb 5 feet, fall 10 im never going to get out of this hole im a hopeless human being

In a world so big, bigger than you can imagine. How can I be so alone.

You mean everything to me Ill be back And when i come back If you accept me Ill be the person youve always dreamed of And ill never leave you again

I still think about you every waking moment of every single day

I miss you more than anything and i want you beside me, i want to know your ok. Ive made the biggest mistake of my life and i dont know if its my pride holding me back or if its just the fact i know youd be better off here with me. Ive offered you everything i would fly you out here, support you anything you need. I just want to be with you and only you. Id would come back i just dont know if id just get rejected and lose the small amount of life that i have left im so confused just talk to me and let me k kw your okay I love you So So Much

Ill probably drown in my own tears tonight

Come with me Dont follow me, dont show me the way Let us walk together Side by side

I know we can never get these next couple months back as time moves forward I will only love you more I will only miss you more But i am still here Let me be your fantasy Let me be your release from reality Maybe what we had was too perfect And its almost human nature to destroy something like that But I'll fight it, even if on my own I'll prove to everybody you can reverse instincts That love can conquer all We can be together again Sooner than later Better than before

Everybody just leave me alone Except for you Please dont

It doesnt feel right not telling you i love you every night, i know you dont need confirmation, i know you know, it just feels so good to say it

I hate this feeling, the feeling that with every passing car i hope to get t-boned Every time i walk down the street i wish to get jumped Every drag of my cigarette to bring me one step closer to a sickness Every bite i take to choke Something to even out this one sided pain. All these feelings battle my pride for life, the lust for life i once had, the feeling where nothing could manipulate, me nothing could bring me down, i make my own fucking desicions and i made a bad one, a real bad one and as i lay in the shattered pieces of my own confidence i am lost, so confused, i need to get back to who i was. The one who cared about life. The one who no matter how bad he was doing would sideline it to make anybody feel better. Its still there but i cant lose it, i need it, and its drifting away. Ill get out of this town and i wish you would come, wish you would latch those arms around me and never let me go. I cant, wont, will never forget you, a soulmate is a soulmate and i would never consider it a waste of time being with you because those are feelings people go their whole life without feeling and i was lucky enough to one of the ones to have those feelings, unlucky enough to lose them. Maybe one day i can have them back, maybe one day youll never leave my side. Ill be alone for the rest of my life, an introvert, a celebate on death row waiting to die but every call gets postponed another day. Life has no mercy and i think im going insane. I can deal with the pain and i will. Maybe its a lesson to be learned to never give yourself away because you can never get it back, and maybe i dont want it back. I would give it all away to be back to the place i once was. Pen to paper is a council that wont judge, just a stagnent force watching me as i look up for advice to hear none. Days will pass but my love wont, and as my heart paints a picture with a midnight palette i slowly die but in the end nobody is buried together anyway