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possum/killshot | 23 | he/it/pup/+

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objectum blog -> guitarluvr

blog runs on a queue posting 4x daily

no dni but i hate proshippers and radqueers

INVISTARSTICKERS

An inviane identity described by the image below; a sheet of glittery rainbow star stickers. This can be a general identity, gender, orientation, kintype, anything.

ALUVIANIMALKINGDOM

are you disconnected with any particular aspect of your identity?

Skipping day 3 cause I’m behind and I got nothing to say lol

Honestly this is kind of a hard question, because what are we connected to in the first place? I have no connection to this body, or any body, as I went into detail on this last post. We don’t really use dissomei labels, though we have some in our hoard anyways. Individual alters feel very disconnected from certain things. For example…

We haven’t self harmed by cutting in years, but there are alters that still see this as something we actively do. A few alters feel very disconnected from the concept of age and have none at all or exist as several ages at once. Some alters feel disconnected from the year we live in — it’s still the 90s or 2000s for them. In the past, we have been misdiagnosed with a few things, and even though we’d never speak over people who have them, some alters still feel a strong connection to those specific labels, and not the diagnosis that replaced them. We’re in a very happy polyamorous relationship but some alters are aromantic and collectively we’re aroflux so there can be a disconnect with that, which our partners understand.

The other kind of disconnect we feel is our…fate? Future? I guess? It’s kind of like we can see branching paths of things to be, do, etc, and often we feel like we should be on a different one. We want to be everything at once and this gets confusing when trying to figure out what we should actually do.

RAVE⚠︎ / RAVEWARNING

An x⚠︎ term for those who identify as or connect with raves in a vibrant and bright, yet hazardous way.

INVISTREARCARPET

An inviane identity described by the image below; an arcade carpet with streamer and confetti patterns on it. This can be a general identity, gender, orientation, kintype, anything.

are you alterhuman? how does this affect your life and identity? / what's your relationship to your body? how does it affect how you identify?

I’m starting late so I’ll combine/skip a few prompts including these 2! It feels hard to talk about one without talking about the other anyways.

I’ve had a strange relationship with my body for as long as I can remember. And I don’t mean in a typical body image issue way (though that’s it’s own problem) I mean… An inherent, extreme disgust and hatred with the concept and anatomy of being a human. This is a massive tangled web of a thought that I’ve been building since I was literally 3, so it’s incredibly hard to put into words, but it’s honestly one of the main components of my personality and selfhood. This extends to manmade objects and structures, language, concepts, and to a slightly less extreme degree, the concept of the existence of anything including the natural world and other nonhuman life. I am thinking about this every moment of every day with no exaggeration, and it sucks ass. I remember being like 6 and thinking “I can’t wait til I outgrow this feeling” and here we are. I assume it’s a symptom of STPD mixed with autism and existential OCD, but I wish there was a single word that could get this across. It’s a deeply distressing feeling and I’d do anything to get rid of it, but it’s hard to cure the main aspect of yourself. This affects how I interact with and view everything. Talking to people is hard, as this feeling overpowers any conversation that could be had. It’s hard for me to consume any media without every second being dedicated to thinking “how could someone make this without feeling disgust.” I look at art and go “why would anyone choose to paint a human” but I go draw people too. Every word for every body part disgusts me, eating and food disgust me, social concepts disgust me, I’m struggling to think of anything that doesn’t. Existence feels humiliating.

Overall, I like to consider myself aspecies, despite having many alterhumantypes. I can look at a dog and go “that’s more Me than a human body will ever be”, but I still feel that disgust when I break down all the aspects of it. It’s not a human, but it still has skin and organs and hair and a mouth and veins and eyes and it eats and that’s far too close. I believe in past lives in my own way, and I have had different bodies throughout them. But the species of my “soul” so to speak? I don’t know, I’d rather be a fleeting, echoing noise or a beam of light than any physical body.

The way I see my transition doesn’t really have to do with my gender to be honest. It’s more of just a collection of the traits I’d prefer to have, if I’m forced to choose between human characteristics. And those traits happen to be the “male” option. I’m on testosterone, I want top surgery, I want to be perceived as male, but that’s because those are my options in this body. It’s kind of like customizing your video game character but you don’t really like any of the default options, you just pick what sucks the least now and wait to unlock more later. I see my gender dysphoria as an extension of my species dysphoria, if that’s what you’d call it, not as separate things.

I’m not sure if this makes sense. And this doesn’t even get into how plurality and physical disability plays into all of this. I’ve spent years trying to convey this to my therapist and still haven’t gotten it all out. I’m currently using psychedelic therapy to make peace with these feelings and I think it’s working, very slowly. If anyone relates, please let me know. I’ve never seen anyone talk about this to the degree I feel it. This kinda turned into a vent but hey you asked.

PSYCHEDELICXPER

FURBY★ / FURBYSTAR

An x★ term for those who identify as a Furby or connect with Furbys in a silly and whimsical way.

INVIDDRCAT

An inviane identity described by the image below; an orange tabby cat laying on a DDR mat. This can be a general identity, gender, orientation, kintype, anything.

PAIVISICILIANCAT

PSYCHEDELIC∞ / PSYCHEDELICINFI

An x∞ term for when one identify as psychedelic/a psychonaut or connect with psychedelic substances in an infinite, multifaceted and complex way.

INVIPEGASUSBLOTTER

An inviane identity described by the image below; an acid blotter sheet with a pink pegasus in the night sky printed on it. This can be a general identity, gender, orientation, kintype, anything.

ALUVILEMONBOY

MUSIC✦ / MUSIC4PSTAR

An x✦ term for those who identify as music or connect with music in a divine and ethereal way.