Shade K. Hills

also heres my ethubs playlist for u to judge

OH MY GOD IM GOING TO NUKE TUMBLR. IT HID THIS FROM ME.

yes i can totally hold your hand and walk you through my perspective on it. and i would LOVE to judge your ethubs playlist.

ill talk about no one noticed on this post, and then ill go through your playlist seperately. first off, while it could be seen from either perspective, i like thinking of the song from bdubs' side of things.

"i'd kinda like it if you'd call me, 'cause i'm so over bein' lonely, i need a virtual connection, be my video obsession"

-this immediately stuck out to me, it reminded me of them but also the video obsession part is 100% bdubs in the early race for the wool days. ive been going through alllllll of the old ethubs content and. its a lot.

secondly:

"if you believe me, i guess i'll get on a plane, fly to your city, excited to see your face, hold me, console me, and then i'll leave without a trace."

-this reads like a fanfic to me. bdubs goes to canada, meets etho in person for the first time, they're a bit awkward at first but their feelings (either intensely platonic or romantic, i find it can be either) are undeniable. they fail to find a resolution that makes everybody happy, so bdubs leaves without a trace and thats where;

"i wanted to stay, wanted to be there, wanted to hold you. but i, i was afraid, wanted to be there, i should've told you"

comes in. he wanted to stay but was too afraid etc.

-alternatively, the "wanted to be there/hold you" kinda sounds like he didnt end up going at all. "i should've told you" <- either should've communicated his feelings regarding etho OR that he even wanted to visit in the first place. maybe etho has no clue that this conflict in bdubs even exists.

so. thats off the top of my head! i hope it made sense. this post between shade and i explains it a little more, if youre interested.

THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN AND LIKE CRYING ABOUT IT.

FIRST OF ALL THE TITLE IS JUST 💥 AGHUEAHGU!?!? I just listened to Rose by the Oh Hellos for the first time??? HELLO??!?! HULLO!?!?!? “Wars are raising for her crusades to adore her” im on my KNEES.

But god im just… thinking…

You once said to me and I quote “he doesn't cry anymore :( poor sweet baby etho's soft heart is gone :(( I can't believe I introduced soft sweet baby etho just to fuck him up, I think i have to write some kidfic fluff or something to repent and recover” AND I STILL THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME >:((( SOFT SWEET BABY CRYBABY ETHO?!?! A CHARECTARIZATION IVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE AND HERE WE ARE AND YOU’VE TAKEN HIM AWAY FROM ME BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY YOU’VE TAKEN HIM AWAY FROM BDUBS!! FROM BDUBS!!!

Stop it. Etho grew up. HE GREW UP. And Bdubs didn’t grow up, he might not be READY to grow up and Etho may look the same but he had 100 years of growing up and 🧨 🔥 I genuinely think next chapter Etho is going to explodificate. He was too calm. It was like he was repressing himself?!?! Like he was very… controlled. Kind of cold??!? And really holding himself back. You KNOW that every cell in his body is like *HUG HIM HUG THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HIM KISS HIM AND AND UWHUHGUAG* LIKE?!?!?! AND OMG. Can you imagine how much he’s idolized Bdubs over the past 100 years? Do you think maybe he’s a little bit in love with the image of bdubs he’s created!?!? no stop. NO STOPP. And Etho… he isnt who Bdubs fell in love with all those years ago. He’s different. Oh my god im going to cry.

I have so many thoughts about odd little habits Etho probably has. He is driven by so much fear, i think, when it comes to Bdubs. AND REMEMBER THAT IT WAS BDUBS. IT WAS BDUBS WHO WANTED IT SO HE COULD GROW OLD WITH ETHO. But largely, Etho has suffered the consequences. Oh good lord. I think Bdubs is going to get siiiick of Etho hovering over hiiiiim. I think Etho is going to be nagging him and and, waking him up ever half hour when he’s sleeping to make sure he’s still around, and and and Etho’s gonna be lying on top of him and blowing up at little things and I think Bdubs will have to realize that etho is SCARED and HURT and oh good lord.

Anyways as I was reading this i’ve been listening to Rose again and again and OH MY GOD IVE JUST GOT IT IVE GOTTEN ITTTT AHFUHUWFH?!! I GET IT NOWW (watch me proceed not to get it)!! “CRUSADES TO ADORE HER” ALL THE KNIGHTS COMING TO TRY AND “RESCUE” BDUBS? “Are you losing her true nature when you loosen nomenclature” oh my god WHAT A LINE!!! EVER DAY ETHO LETS HIS KNOWLEDGE OF BDUBS SLIP A LITTLE BIT AND MUDDLES THE REALITY WITH HIS IDEAS AND AFUHAWUFHAUWf “I THINK WE GOT A LOT WE GOTTA LEARN” JUST LIKE. THEY WERE LITTLE KIDS WHEN THEY MADE THIS DECISION AND NOW IF IT ISNT THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTONS?!?! “Call her a briar long enough and you’ll tangle up the true and the fable” OK IM KINDA TWISTING THE WORDS A LITTLE BIT BUT LIKE ok first of all them being surrounded by briars HULLO!?!?? And also and more coherently, Etho has TOOOTALLLY BEEN TANGLING UP THE TRUTH AND THE FABLE HES CREATED A KIND OF DREAM OF BDUBS OVER ALL THESE YEARS AND I THINK RELEARNING THE REAL BDUBS AND SEPERATING HIM FROM THE SLEEPING STATUE IF YOU WILL IS GOING TO BE SUCH A THING FOR HIM?!?!?!? “What is safe isnt the same as what is good” and “Change comes so cheaply for those of us already at the table” UAUGHEAUGHUE ETHO HAS CHANGED ETHO IS CHANGED AND BDUBS ISNT AND Im literally going to cry.

On a lighter note… Etho purring… you really do believe in love… I have never written an Etho fic where Etho doesn’t purr, its just how its meant to be. Ohhhh… my heart.

I love this book, dude. You’re a master of what you do <33

asdjhfdsg thank you shade :')))) you're so sweet <3<3<3

we're definitely gonna get more about what etho's thinking, and how he coped while bdubs was asleep :) I wish I had a snippet to share abt that but alas, I haven't had a chance to write the scene I'm thinking of yet

I apologize for how slow the updates have been coming out btw y'all, there's a combination of factors that's making writing very difficult, and I'm being forced to put what energy I do have towards my creative writing class since that's graded :/ I am working slowly but surely on chapter 4, promise! thanks for your patience <3

you're giving me an excuse to talk about the title!!! I've been hoping someone would listen to the song! you're pretty spot on, but just for fun I'm gonna pull some of my line associations from the song :) this post might be so fucking long actually

beware! while I'm not going to talk about actual events that will happen in chapters 4 and 5, I will talk about some of my process for character development that has been/will be central to the trajectory of the story. so, like, if you want absolutely no spoilers maybe read this later

Omg first of all nevvver apologize this is just a hobby and like you arent getting paid or anything so like T-T <333 DONT WORRY ABOUT IT DUDE YOUR POSTING SCHEDULE IS PERFECLTY FINE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME WHO POSTS ONCE EVERY TWO YEARS.

OOOH BDUBS IS LITERALLY A FAIRY TALE. And Etho *knows* him and *knew* him and he’s PART OF THE TALE but he’s the VILLAIN??!?!? And like. Wow wow wow so much to unpack.

ETHO HOLDING RESENT AGAINST BDUBS. As much as im Not A Fan TM of this, im SUUUUCH A FAN OF THIS from a story perspective, because im SURE!!! Like i remembered, it was Bdubs idea to do the curse thing, and its like… Etho just spent ONE HUNDRED YEARS waiting. Some would say “wasted” but that might not be the word. But… the days are spent. They aren’t coming back, and he had no choice in the matter, really. I mean, he didn’t *have to stay* but yes he did. Yeahhhh he did. And I think it be scarier if he didn’t hold a little bit of that against him. Siiigh. I’d love to see that explored.

ALSO LIKE JUST CIRCLING BACK- Bdubs is mentally 16 (?) and Etho is… 118??? BUT THE THING IS he hasnt really left this castle, so he hasn’t matured either, really. He’s like, stunted. They both are, really, in different ways. And Etho killed so much and did so little, really, besides that and!??! No real thoughts here. But yeaaeeepp.

WOW ALSO HELLO??? THE RAM AT THE ALTER THING IS MAKING ME… FEEL KINDA A LITTLE BIT SICK. WOW. Etho losing himself for a cause that he got unwillingly put in. I mean… very willingly. But willingly as an in-love teenager. That barely counts. But like yeah, all that killing, all that hardening himself so he didnt… I mean imagine. He probably cried every day at first. And then he cried himself out. There was a day where he realized that if he spent every day for the next 100 years crying, he wouldn’t make it. So he stopped crying. If he missed Bdubs to tears every day, he’d die. He had to lose himself so that he could survive. But thats not who Bdubs fell in love with. Ouch ouch ouch.

more fanart for a rosie fic <3 @roseofaries ‘s strange meeting is so good!!

etho is the designated bdubs wrangler I guess

Transcript:

Scar: Etho, message Bdubs and tell him to get on. He wants to learn

Jevin: Yeah, tell him to hop on right now

Etho: Does he want to learn this?

Scar: Yeah. I told him that you need to teach him.

Jevin: Yeah, if you get on he'll-- if you say something, he'll get on, so

Etho: [overlapping] Ohhhh really

Etho: Say in, uh, Discord? Isn't it like super late for Bdubs?

Jevin: Maybe