(⁠~⁠‾⁠▿⁠‾⁠)⁠~

You were exhausted yesterday after the trip to the museum. Or rather, you didn't manage to recover after Azul's overblot because you got woken up to go on the trip. That's probably why you haven't noticed certain changes to your dorm. It was nothing major. No, the tweels were not that obvious with their schemes. But this morning, you went to the bathroom for your morning routine and as you look in the mirror - a tiny eel figurine was staring back wedged between the crooked mirror and the wall.

You were bewildered to say the least. You took it out, and got a better look. It was just a cheap plastic toy, and yet, it sent a chill down your spine... It was obvious who left it here while the dorm was in their hands. Did they really have to let you know they've been in your bathroom? (They apparently did, because this time when the mirror got foggy you actually saw the cute little hearts and smiles vaguely still visible after a few days).

You thought that would be the end of that, but no. When you opened a cabinet? A plastic eel between glasses. Getting down a can of tuna for Grim? Plastic eel fell down as you moved the cans. Looked out a window? Plastic eel on the windowsill. Just fucking tilted your head back while sitting on the sofa? Plastic eel up on the 'chandelier'.

On one hand, you were a little relieved your bathroom wasn't specifically targeted. On the other, just how many of those did they hide around here? Why?

You ended up dedicating the day to cleaning (and looking for eels or whatever else those two might have hidden). It didn't take you long to notice the figurines were everywhere. Room corners, shelves, on chairs and in sofa nooks, wedged into cracks in the walls, under peeling wallpapers, under matresses- the hiding places were never ending. You even found one at the back of your underwear drawer (that was noticeably fuller than you left it - you had suspected they could steal your underwear so you took it all with you when you got kicked out, but it seems they saw it fit to stuff the drawer with new lingerie, somehow exactly in your size).

Aside from the eel figurines you tracked down two cameras - one in the vent above the shower (honestly the angle was so shitty you wondered what they were even hoping to see), and one in your room but noticeably directed at your window, which struck you as kind of odd.

You decided not to think too much about it, since you'd really rather keep your sanity intact. You just chucked the devices out of your window, thanking your lucky stars Grim wasn't around to see those - you being worried was bad enough, no need to make him paranoid.

You also dedicated a shelf to collecting the eel figurines. They were vexing, but rather harmless, and you liked the challenge - it felt like some weird hide and seek.

❥

You did not like the eel figurines. At all. It's been a week now, and you just kept finding them. You even stepped on one that was hidden amongst the carpet, and it was painful. Not ot mention the amount of times something shifted within pillows or in the mattress and you ended up with a hard plastic edge uncomfortably digging into you until you fished the offending eel out.

The eel-shelf was overflowing with figurines. Granted, it was a small shelf to begin with, but by now it held like, over 80 plastic eels. It was ridiculous.

That's why you bravely ventured into Mostro Lounge today - to complain. And hopefully, to get the matter resolved somehow. You felt like you'll soon start seeing those eels in your dreams.

"Oya, hello [name], how rare to see you come here." Jade went up to you the moment you came into the room, leaving behind a baffled student whose order he was in the middle of taking. "What can I do for you today? Food? Drink? Maybe something more... stimulating?"

"I want you to clean up the mess you made in Ramshackle." You glared at him, as he tilted his head.

"A mess? I don't recall even being at Ramshackle this past week." Jade looked genuinely surprised. "Did Floyd maybe do something..?"

"No. The mess you made while my dorm was in your hands." You corrected, pouting. "It's been a week now, and I still keep finding those stupid eel figurines. I can't live like that any longer!"

"Yeah!" Grim piped up from where he was standing at your side, completely ignored by Jade. "They're everywhere! I can't even eat in piece without spotting one, and getting awful flashbacks..."

"O? I believe that was Floyd's little joke." Jade chuckled, visibly entertained. "You will have to talk to him about that."

"And where is he?" You questioned, eyebrow rising.

"Oh, just taking a nap in our room. Come now, I'll take you to him."

❥

You were taken to the door of the twins' room, but not allowed inside. It irked you that those guys invited themselves into Ramshackle, specifically to your bathroom, bedroom and down to your underwear drawer, yet refused to let you see their room at all. Since Jade went in to wake Floyd up, you and Grim ended up badmouthing them, speculating about what a mess their room must be to not take any visitors. And then Floyd arrived.

"Shrimpy~!" He all but shrieked, jumping at you to envelop you in a hug. "Hehe, I heard you came to see me! I was so lonely without you, you know~? But I'm glad you can't stay away for long-"

"I came to ask you to take your eel figures out of my dorm!" You interrupted him before he could get more mushy and delusional. "I've tried dealing with them, but they're a nuisance."

"Eh~? But why?" He pouted at you, shifting his weight from side to side and tilting you along with him. "Isn't it fun to search for them? I went all out, you know~?"

"I noticed." You replied in deadpan. "There are... a lot of them. Too many."

"Yeah, and why did you have to hide them in pillows and blankets?!" Grim tugged at Floyd's pant leg angrily. "And in sofas too! It's such a pain when I just wanna rest!"

"Hmm? These aren't for you, Sealy, so keep your paws off." Floyd stopped his tilting around and glared at the direbeast, eliciting a started meow.

"Anyway, can you maybe gather them up?" You asked to divert his attention back to yourself. "I have a shelf where I keep the one I found. I'm sure we'd both be happier if they all ended up there..."

"Aww, a shelf in your room just for me?" Floyd cooed at you. You wanted to point out that's not what you said at all, but he was all giggly and excited. "Still~! No cheating, you gotta find them all yourself or it's no fun!"

"And... can you at least tell me how many are there?" You questioned, looking up at him. You did not like that smirk he was wearing...

"128. Would be 130, but I kept 2 for my room, hehe~"

"W-What?!"

It all started when Kalim decided to throw a party. This in itself, was nothing rare. Neither was the fact students from different dorms were invited. Kalim, however, made one critical oversight this time. He organized the party to cheer you up, and as such despite prefering to be alone with you, decided to invite each and every one of your friends after securing a promise from you to show up, and then - he told each one about who exactly made the guest list. That was where it started.

❥

"Jade, would you happen to have any... interesting mushrooms in stock?" Azul asked as soon as Kalim left the VIP room.

"Oya, as it happens I do." Jade grinned at him. "What did you have in mind? Hallucinogenics? Sleep-inducers? Maybe diarrhea?"

"I was thinking something more... permanent." Azul smirked, before turning to the other twin. "Floyd, I've heard you wanted to cook some pufferfish, are you still in the mood to catch one?"

"Eh? Nah, I'm not really feeling it."

❥

"How joyous, to be invited to a party." Malleus hummed. "Especially so to cheer up [name]. What a wonderful occassion indeed."

"Of course, my liege! I have no doubt [name]- ekhm, the human will be overjoyed to see you!" Sebek shouted.

"Maybe I should cook something to bring over." Lilia suggested, sending shiver up everyone's spines.

"I really don't think that's a good idea, Fa-Li-Father." Silver shot down awkwardly. "Kalim is very particular about the food at his parties being made by his dormmates."

Sebek fell silent in thought, subconsciously tuning out the rest of the conversation. A big feast with all their rivals. He had absolute faith in his liege's ability to win Darling over but... maybe it would be good to thin the herd a little.

❥

"Brother, why don't you go?" Ortho questioned with his best puppy-eye impression. "It's for cheering [name] up! Don't you think it's a chance to get closer to them?" Then his expression turned dark. "And analyse the competition in a more social setting."

"O-Ortho- No way! No how! I am not the sociable type!" Idia was literally shivering just at the thought of being stuck in that chaotic group. "Besides! Growing closer can be left for after I kidnap them! No matter how good of an early start those people get, it won't mean anything if we hide away where they can't reach us!"

"Uhm, I'm not sure if that's possible." Ortho tilted his head as he ran calculations. "Without Lethe, we couldn't erase their memories of Styx, so they might track us down there. And there is no better hiding place in this world... Not to mention Malleus Draconia himself will be visitng Styx for some time, and Rook Hunt has proven his Unique Magic can't be shaken off easily..."

"Ugh, why are my rivals all OP SSR characters?" Idia sighed dejectedly. "At least Malleus got a balance patch when his horn got broken, his magic before was seriously terrifying... Wait, a balance patch?" Idia straightened up, eyes wide, before they turned into crescent shape from the force of his widening manic grin. "That's right! This party is the perfect occasion for a new balance patch! So long as I survive the social battleground, victory will be mine!"

❥

"Well now, here's a surprise." Vil raised an eyebrow at the Housewarden of Savanaclaw standing in his way. "I never would have expected our oh so proud Kingscholar to ask for my help."

"I'm not asking for help." Leona growled. "Just proposing we cooperate. We won't have a chance like that again."

❥

You arrived at Scarabia with Grim about half an hour before the party was supposed to start. Part of it was because Grim just kept whining about wanting to eat already, and the rest.... well, with all the stuff you've seen the yanderes do, you had to make sure this was safe and not another weird scheme - before your friends actually show up.

It's not that you especailly suspected Kalim's intentions. You just learnt to be... cautious.

"[name]! You're here early!" Kalim greets you with a hug.

"As, I wanted to ask if I can help with preparations." You make an excuse.

"And I'm hungry!" Grim butts in. "Isn't at least some of the grub prepared already?"

"No, as it happens, it's not." Jamil sighed at the rude creature, coming from the direction of Scarabia's kitchen. "Hello [name]. It is a pleasure to see you."

"Likewise." You sent him a smile, not quite meeting his eye. He peels Kalim off you and gives you a quick side-hug.

"Aww, come on Jamil, I'm sure you can give him some fruit and ham at least." Kalim pouted. "Oh! I think I still have cheese and crackers in a lunchbox somewhere here..."

"Ah! I think I will pass on the cheese.." Grim quickly moved away. Apparently the last time crackers got shoved down his throat somewhat traumatized him. You took a few steps in his direciton and scooped him up before he could run off and make trouble. "Y-you are not about to betray me, are you henchhuman?!"

"Um, so, Jamil, is there anything we could help with?" You asked. Nothing seemed weird yet, but you'd love to at least look into the kitchen. Seven know you've had enough food surprises for one year -no, for a lifetime- already...

"Well, the party is for you, so I don't think it's right to make you help." Jamil pointed out. "But if you insist..."

❥

The party started right on time, without any trouble. You also didn't find anything suspicious during the preparations. In other words, despite your worries everything was completely fine, so you let yourself relax. Maybe that's why... you missed the schemes that unfolded right at the same time.

As the drinks and food were served, Trey chatted up the Leech twins and Azul, showing off his Unique magic. What no one could perceive though, was that at the end he did not disspell his magic - in fact, he cast it on every drink and piece of food to make it taste normal, even if it was poisoned.

While Trey (and Cater at another place) played the distraction, Ace used his best sleight of hand techniques to drop poison into people's cups. Specifically the poison prepared together by Trey and Riddle, since nothing he himself learnt during the first year would cut it.

Azul and Jade had already planted their trap before the party even begun - forcing a Scarabian student under a contract to mix a few drops of poison into food they knew you wouldn't try to eat (they were well aware of your aversion to certain foods).

Ruggie tried to 'help' serve the food and drinks to do his part, but was quickly shot down by others. He did garner enough attention to allow Leona himself to sneak some poison to his seat neighbours though. Similarily, while Rook and Vil drew attention, Epel managed to slip some poison into drinks. One of said drinks laced with a special absurdly potent poison meant for Malleus.

Normally, Sebek would be capable of noticing anything suspicious and acting on it. In this specific instance, he was however, a bit too preoccupied with trying to kill Leona and Ruggie. It didn't help that Silver and Malleus were very busy convincing Lilia not to bring out any 'condiments' to 'spice up' the dishes.

Cater went around making pictures, which surprised exaclty nobody. He did manage to slip poison into the few plates that already had some food while he was at it though, so his actual job was also done! He mostly managed to avoid suspicion, only getting a dubious look from Jamil.

Jamil for his part, has noticed plenty of the poisonings. He was however happy to remain silent about anything, so long as him, Kalim and you remained safe. Which is why he subtly stopped Kalim from taking a sip of the juice, swapping his cup with a backup he had prepared, and setting the poisoned one on a snack table nearby.

There were plenty of others poisoning here and there, and covertly getting rid of their own poisoned items they noticed, but this was the first direct catalyst to chaos that was about to unfold - mostly because it captured Floyd's attention.

"Eh? Sea otter is getting something else to drink~?" He drawled, tilting his head in amusement. "Not fair, I want that drink too. Hey, hey, otter, swap with me, please~?"

"Hm? Swap?" Kalim looked at him in surpise. "Ah, you want a taste? Sure I guess? I mean, you can have the whole glass if you want."

And so Floyd drunk from Kalim's glass, setting his previous one in front of the Scarabian Housewarden in return. It was the exact same drink. Lame!

Now, as it happened, you were sitting next to Kalim. Which also placed your glasses next to each other. Kalim, not trusting in drinks received from anyone but Jamil, ordered a new one for himself. Yet he forgot to send Floyd's drink away, making it so you could assume it was yours by mistake...

Jade, watching this whole interaction had a terrible premonition. After all, what are the odds there wasn't a single person here who'd try to poison his brother? So, he excused himself and moved towards you. Ace, who actually put the poison in the cup, also ran over to get rid of it.

Now, this would all end up alright if it wasn't for a few additional facts. One was that while on one side you had Kalim, the other was occupied by Grim, glutton extraordinaire. Another that next to Grim was Vil, using his discerning senses to make sure your direbeast did not get poisoned. And lastly, while others had good enough senses to avoid poison on their own, or had someone next to them who could and would warn them, you had no such skills and were seated between two people also lacking them.

And so it happened: Grim, getting increasingly frustrated with Vil's interventions around what he could and could not eat, started snapping at the man, and with desperate speed of a cat eating something it's not supposed to crammed a VERY spicy pepper into his mouth thoughtlessly.

"Oooowoow! itburnsitssospiiiicy!" The cat yowled and you instinctively grabbed his cup of water and fed it to him. Once it was empty you set it down right next to yours and grabbed yours to make him drink some more.

Ace, having arrived in the middle of the commotion, swiped the poisoned cup and swiftly made his exit. After Grim finished drinking and crying, you set your cup down too, and Kalim thoughtfully filled both cups up.

There was just one little problem. The pitcher he used had been poisoned. So now there were two poisoned cups next to you, instead of just one. Worse still, Jade did not know this - because of the commotion Kalim, and Malleus who sat next to him both stood up, blocking Jade's vision of the table, and of you. When he arrived, seeing two glasses, he immediately assumed one was safe and one was not, and picked up the one closer to Kalim to take it away.

"Excuse me, I think my brother left this here." He said picking the offending cup up to carry it away.

At the same time Idia (with Ortho's help) quickly shot a drop of poison into Rook's cup while the man was focused on Grim. He felt bad for the kitty, but he had his priorities and eliminating this guy was at the top of his list.

From the other side, Lilia had a terrible realisation that this was the poisoned pitcher he had set aside so Silver wouldn't drink anything by mistake. So, with his newly regained magic, he swapped the poisoned cup for his own (also poisoned - by Epel).

In the meantime, Grim left for the kitchen in search of milk to soothe his burning tongue. You left after him to make sure everything would be okay. Epel, who had also poisoned the pitcher, took this moment to swap your glass with his (currently not poisoned as attested by Rook) own.

Now, everyone should have been safe, right? No. Because see, your drink was fully ok, but you were starting to get peckish again, since you were too uneasy to eat early on, especially with others behaving so oddly - constantly displacing or sending away both drink and food.

You left the kitchen to get back to the table, but your seat was currently occupied by Epel - who unbestown to you got caught swapping glasses by Malleus and was in the middle of getting interrogated about it. Grim's seat was also out, since Vil and Rook moved to be close enough to argue with Malleus - poor Kalim was stuck in the middle, trying to diffuse the situation.

Instead you took Epel's seat, next to Ortho. What you didn't know was that since it was far enough from you to not touch the dishes there, some of them have been poisoned by others. And that the one you picked was one of them - fact that Ortho and Idia couldn't warn you of, since they decided to go after Grim, due to Idia's concern over 'a cat' getting harmed.

Before anyone else could catch on, you started eating - and very soon collapsed.

❥

"I swear when I find out who is responsible it will be off with their head!" You distantly heard Riddle as you regained consciousness. You could feel the bile in your mouth, mixed with something metallic.

"Not if I turn them into sashimi first." Floyd threatened darkly.

There were also other voices and sounds in the background but you couldn't quite make them out. You opened your eyes to see Vil and Jamil hovering over you, a case of herbs and extracts, and other stuff you did not know open on the floor next to you - you vaguely recognized it as Jamil's anti-poison kit.

"W-what happened?" You asked, feeling like you had the worst headache of your life.

"[name]! You're back with us!" Deuce yelled as he and Ace clammored into your view - only to get immediately shoved and pulled back by both Jamil and someone outside your view.

"Give her space!" Vil snarled at them, before turning to you. "You collapsed, but you are okay now. We will take good care of you, okay? How do you feel?"

"Bad." You answered instinctively as your vision continued clearing and expanding.

You could see everything was in disarray. Several parts of the dorm were.. scorched? And were those claw marks-?! You could also see some frozen-over fragments of the ground, random cauldrons littered everywhere, blood, and vines, and smashed tiles-.

"Why does it look like someone overblotted again?" You question before you can think more deeply about it. The yanderes look at each other, suddenly still and silent, before Azul clears his throat.

"Well, the good news is, no one has overblotted." He assured you. "We just had a... minor squabble. Everyone is alright, so don't worry!" He did not seem particularly happy about others being alright but you let it slide.

You instead found Grim with your eyes, and relieved, fell back into unconsciousness with a backgorund cacophany of screams from everyone alive. Ah, those guys... were such a handful.

Probably not my best work, but I'd like to think it was at least somewhat entertaining ^^'

It all started very innocently. Silver told you about some stray cats occasionally making their way on campus, and where they usually roam. Being something of a cat lover, you decided to visit them, even concealing two cans of tuna from Grim for a full day to bring it for the poor kitties.

It was the afternoon after classes, when your many 'friends' were busy, and you managed to ditch Grim with Epel with the promise of Spelldrive practice, that you went to see them. There wasn't much thought behind it, you just didn't want to be disturbed and didn't want to risk Grim stealing the food despite having more than enough at home (you swear only Kalim could ever manage to fill that beast's stomach).

As you came out from between the trees into the kitty-hotspot behind the gym, you found someone you were definitely not expecting. Idia Shroud, in all his glory, lying on the ground covered in cats, with cat toys strewn around. He was giggling to himself, obviously thinking he's totally alone. Well, until you accidentally stepped on a twig and startled him.

"Hhhiiyee?! Who's there?!" He shrieked, obviously tensing up, eyes widening in surprised panic. A moment later, he registered it was you. "D-Da- Prefect! Oh sweet Hades, a no-save, no-prep surprise encounter with an SSR+ character. Rip, f, I am so screwed." You didn't even get to greet him through the onslaught of words. His expression shifted into a scowl. "What kind of sadistic, incompetent fucking devs spring an event like that out of nowhere without announcing it?! I-I'm not ready! At all!"

"..." Yeah. Maybe better leave that one alone. You looked at the spooked cats who jumped away from Idia and his frantic energy, and decided to take their cue, backing away into the foliage.

"W-wait! Did I screw up already?!" Aaand back to the nervous wreck he went. "Don't go, [name]! Please just one more chance! I promise I'll pick the right dialog option this time!"

Sighing, you stopped your retreat. Honestly, with everything Idia has done so far, you weren't particularly interested in being close to him, especially alone. On the other hand, that pathetic introverted side of his did make you go a bit soft on him (if you weren't annoying or horrified by his actions at the moment-), plus you'd feel bad for poor Ortho if Idia locked himself in his room crying after you left him.

"Hi Idia." You finally got to greet him. He stared at you mutely as if any word would send you running away. "So... You're not at the club, huh?"

"Ah, uh, well-." He stuttered, looking away in low spirits. "I wasn't feeling like seeing that many people today. Not even for games. It's just like that sometimes, you know? I have no idea how all these extroverts can do this stuff every single day. So yeah, I ditched."

"Mood"

❥

"Well, it's been fun, but I really need to go feed Grim." You said, standing up. Hopefully the little gremlin didn't get into much trouble while you were separated - the lack of phone calls to you was a good sign at least.

"Oh, I see." Idia muttered, depressed. "Well, if you gtg then you gtg. Want some catnip for Grim? I still have like, half the stack."

"Isn't that like drugs for him if he's a cat?" You wondered, wincing as you remembered how you got drugged without realizing it. Yikes. "I don't think I can do something like that to a person..."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Idia looked at you puzzled, then seemed to get it and rolled his eyes at you. "If it's good then it's good, but you know you can always just ask him, right? Grim can talk. And I don't think catnip is like, addictive or anything."

"Ah, well, I guess." You reluctantly accepted a baggy filled with catnip.

Sure, Grim may want to use it himself but... offering him what is basically recreational drugs didn't quite sit right with you. Maybe you were too worried, but he had a knack for going over the top and getting into trouble. Plus, he'd be not just a high cat, but a high fire-breathing cat. And you weren't sure you could deal with that.

❥

"Ooooh? What's the matter Darling, coming home this long after Grim~." Chenya was in Ramshackle, because of course he was.

"Everything alright with Grim?" You asked, although you weren't expecting a particularly helpful reply.

"Hm, I wonder. It might be alright, but it might also not be alright. In the first place not "all" can be 'right', since some is 'left', no?" Nonsencial as always.

You basically ignored him, and went searching for Grim. You found him snoring away on the bed. Everything seemed fine, at least. He probably just wore himself out trying to join Spelldrive practice. Despite his boasts his physical abilities weren't exactly the best.

"Oho, what's the smell?" Chenya's floating head pops up next to your side, nudging your arm aside to take a sniff at your pocket. "Myah, it smells so good."

"What? Oh, right, the catnip." You remembered, as the guy started rubbing his head against you just like a cat. "....Does catnip work on cat beastmen or something?"

"Meow-course it does!" He giggled, fully appearing and getting right on the floor, where he went on to roll around on his back. "It's just the best. I love it. And I love you, Darling~."

"...I should probably put it away." You decided with a sigh. You try to step over Chenya to go throw it into one of the vacant rooms, but he latched onto you leg.

You glared at him briefly, but he seemed too far gone to care. Well, to be fair he normally wouldn't care either, probably. There was just no arguing with that one... So you decided to ignore his shenanigans and trudge on, dragging him behind with all your might.

It takes a few minutes to reach the door, but when you do, you immediately open it and just throw the little bag inside. It doesn't quite make it to the bedsite table you were aiming for, flopping onto the floor instead. Still, it was away from you. Small victories.

"Ok. No more catnip here." You declared, looking right into Chenya's eyes. "Please let me go... you can go sniff it in the room if you want to...?"

"Hm?" He made an inquisitive noise, head tilting. "I don't want to let go though?"

"I will kick you if you don't." You gave a warning. Yeah, a warning, not an empty threat. Ever since he pulled some bullshit on you, you haven't shied away from physically hitting him - though his Unique Magic made that rather ineffecitve in most situations.

"Cruel~." Chenya pouted, then rolled over and got up in one swift movement. Usually it would be elegant, full of cat-like (obviously) grace. But right now he stumbled a little while standing, probably because of the catnip. "It can be fixed though. Yep, yep. I have a meowery good idea."

Before you can ask him, he lunged for you and swiftly picked you up. Then he carried you into the room, nuzzling his head on top of your hair all the while. He casually laid on the bed, right on you. Then he got up for just a moment - you didn't even get to sit up before he was back, catnip baggy in hand.

"I wonder what to do with this~. Do you know what I will do? Do you?" He purred with a mischievous smile.

And that is how you ended up getting rubbed with catnip and cuddled for hours (your only grace coming in the form of Grim waking up and demanding tuna). You definitely didn't miss the hard-on Chenya got or the way some of his movements were definitely him grinding on you more than just 'cuddling', but for your sanity, you decided to erase that from your mind as much as you could.

@m1lly69 @smallerdeuce @marina27826123 @naomi123lover @menyiix @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @pinkelin @cherriiirose @aleirnebulous

"Come to think of it, can I ask you something, Riddle?" You set down your cup, tilting your head slightly.

You were in the Heartslabyul garden, sat at what you were earlier led to believe would be a tea party, but in reality consisted only of you and Riddle drinking tea in his office. The lack of any sweets was a clear sign that Trey wasn't made aware of your meeting.

"Of course. Whatever is the matter?" Riddle mimicked your actions, but his expression was much more serious that yours.

"Well Floyd often messes around with you, right? Do you know what the deal is with him and Jade just... opening their mouth real wide and staring?"

"Hmm? I don't believe either of them have ever done that to me." He frowns thoughtfully. "But you might have some luck asking Trey. If I recall, he once told me something about moray eels doing something similar. I can't recall what exactly..."

❥

"Opening their mouths wide and staring, huh?" Trey wore a somewhat troubled expression. You swore you saw a twitch of irritation somewhere on his face before he smoothed it out to a neutral look "Well, there is one explanation I suppose. Floyd calls you "Shrimpy", doesn't he?"

"Yeah," you affirmed, mildly wondering what irked him, "he keeps saying I'm teeny tiny..."

"Well, a lot of people are, compared to him. He does the same to Riddle." He placated you, but you had a feeling he might feel the same about your height. That smug smirk on his face wasn't helping. "But if they consider you as a shrimp, then it makes sense. Moray eels and shrimps have quite the relationship, you know?"

"They do?" That was the first you've heard about that. "Wait, what do you mean 'quite the relationship'?"

"Eels may feed on shrimp, but there are also some they live in symbiosis with." Trey explains, his smirk widening for some reason. "For those, they open their mouth reeal wide. Do you know why?"

"Uh, no?" You stared at him blankly. You already said you didn't even know about the eel-shrimp relationship, so why would you know that?

"Shrimps clean eels' mouths," Trey continues, mischief glinting in his eyes, "especially the teeth. They get in there and clean them real good."

"Uhm-" Somehow you got this feeling you should stop him from talking. Like, right now.

"So I think the Leeches may want... a bit of a similar service from you."

"Do I look like a dentist?!"

"I suggest, the next time it happens." He completely ignored you. "You just take out a toothbrush, some toothpaste, and brush their teeth. That should satisfy them. Oh, and of course, flossing."

"I don't want to." You deadpanned. "I really, really don't want to do that."

"Hey now, no need to be so negative. I will even give you the suplies." Ah he was totally making fun of you. "If you want to... we can go to my bathroom and I'll show you how to properly take care of someone's teeth."

"No thanks!" You protested, but he already had you in his hold, and started dragging you along.

"Don't be like that, it will be fun." Trey said, and then whispered in your ear, "I promise I'll be gentle with you~."

❥

There were teeth cleaning supplies in your bag. Mostly against your will. Honestly, you weren't sure what you were going to do. Ignoring the Tweels seemed to have worked last time, but would it continue in the future? You double-checked what Trey said in the library, and it seemed true. They didn't really have books on eel mermen, but at least for actual moray eels the symbiosis was there. Cleaning in exchange for protection and food.... Well, the Tweels definitely fed you, and you suppose there was some protection. And if you didn't reciprocate the symbiosis... Your mind flashed to images of eels eating non-cleaner shrimps.

Oh Seven, they were totally going to make you brush their teeth weren't they?

"OOOOH, Hiya Shrimpy~" Speak of the devil, and Floyd shall appear.

❥

You were at Mostro Lounge, sitting with a glass of some special drink that you were trying very hard not to drink - there was no Ace or Deuce to rescue you from getting high off your ass this time. Jade and Floyd crowded around you, trying to entice you to drink and eat. They were touching you all over, and you were quietly debating between snapping at them and actually getting high on purpose so it would be more bearable.

"Aww, come on Shrimpy~. It's all completely safe, you know?" Floyd pouted. He took a bite out of one of the crackers they brought as snacks, offering you the remaining half.

You let it smack against your closed lips, shooting him a look. There was a low chuckle from your other side -Jade, no doubt- before suddenly a gloved hand moved from your arm to your face. Jade gently took hold of your jaw, slipping his pointer finger past your lips, and then - he physically opened your mouth, even holding your tongue down with his finger. His twin wasted no time force-feeding you the cracker.

"There, there~ now, was that so difficult?" Jade asked mockingly, rubbing calming circles on your hip with his other hand. You bit his finger. "Oh my."

"Hmm, it's cute, but I think I like it more when Shrimpy eats on their own~." Floyd poked your cheek as soon as his brother released your face. You had half a mind to spit the cracked out all over him, but you endured and swallowed.

"Then I guess we'd better make something so irresistible they just can't help themself, fufu."

"Eh? Oh, I got it, I got it." Floyd grinned and then rushed to the kitchen, leaving you with Jade.

"How spirited." Jade commented.

It wasn't long before he repositioned himself to be able to shove his face right in front of yours and- there it was. He opened his mouth wide, eyes half-closed happily. His hands were roaming over you gently. Not in any inapropriate places, just along your arms and back. You wanted him to shut his mouth and let you go.

The toothbrush in your bag... Right, if you could do it, maybe he will be satisfied and let you go? Else you'll surprise him enough to get free, you supposed. You reached over without looking, fishing out the toothbrush and toothpaste by shape. You bring them up in front of you, unscrewing the toothpaste.

"Eeeee?" Jade makes an inquisitve noise, mouth no longer opened all wide, but not closed either.

Without wasting time, the moment you get the toothpaste on, you shove the toothbrush into his mouth, earning a weird noise and a shocked expression.

You begin brushing his teeth, concluding that you were right and it's what they wanted, given he wasn't moving away or stopping you at all. In reality, Jade simply froze, bluescreening. His mind felt both completely empty and like he was going through his thoughts at 100 miles per second.

Everyone in the lounge was completely baffled too, staring as you brushed Jade Leech's teeth with a single-minded focus of someone cleaning a very fragile, very expensive vase. Some Heartslabyul students got flashbacks to their Vice Housewarden forcefully cleaning their teeth if they complained too much about how the didn't want to do it. Your technique was a little too much like his.

Jade only regained the ability to move at all when the foam started sliding down his throat and he unceremoniously started choking. A bit of toothpaste-foam spilt but he did his very best to maintain what was left of his dignity, swiftly lurching for the sink.

Before he could even get it all out and begin questioning what in the Sevens you thought you were doing, you already made your way to the other side of the bar he was leaning over, grabbed his tie and resumed brushing like he didn't almost just die via choking on toothpaste.

"Huh?! What the hell are you two doing?" Floyd yelled before coming over. Ah, Jade's dignity... it shall never recover.

❥

Jade was going down a hallway, headed towards the greenhouse when someone stepped in front of him. Trey Clover, friendly as ever...

"O? To what do I owe the pleasure?" Jade asked politely. He and Trey were not particularly close and it was weird for the man to approach him like that...

"Nothing much, I just heard from my housemates about the... teeth brushing." Trey said, mischief entering his face. Jade could feel his eye twitch. "It's great to hear you finally got what you wanted, always gaping your mouth at our 'Shrimpy' like that."

"..." Wait a second. Trey Clover was known for his interest in dental hygiene, and trivia around teeth.

Did he?

"I truly hope things continue just like that between you two." Oh, Trey was smirking at him. He really was behind this, wasn't he?

"Bastard."

Hosting like 7 yanderes in Ramshackle was not ideal. Not to mention at least 5 of them were after you. Honestly, even just hosting Rook alone would be a huge headache - you did NOT want that guy sneaking around your bedroom. You almost got Ace and Deuce sleeping with you for protection, but then it turned into a whole argument that had to be broken up, and it was decided everyone would have their own rooms.

This begged a question about your current situation: if you were to be left alone, just why was Vil of all people sitting in your room at dawn?!

"A truly beautiful apearance comes with a lot of effort and care." He lectured, as he tugged you out of bed and towards the bathroom. "Which you're frankly not giving yourself. Durinig our stay here I will make sure to transform you from a cute little spud into a proper shining diamond. I trust you will learn from this experience."

"But why?" You questioned blearily, letting him manhandle you as he got to brushing your hair. "I'm not even part of the team, and honestly I'd really rather sleep at this hour."

"Proper sleep is important, but if you're lacking it I suggest you go to bed earlier instead." He tutted at you. "And while you're not part of the team, I find you to be a good source of motivation for most of the members."

Great, so you were a prop for him to use to motivate the team. Why didn't anyone care about your opinion? You just hoped getting 'prettied up' doesn't cause anyone to snap...

❥

"Look at the state of your skin. It's so dry." Vil muttered in dissatisfaction. "Honestly, I Iwasn't planning on dipping into more scarce personal supplies, but you clearly need this..."

"Huh, what is that?" You questioned as he fished out a glass box and opened it to reveal some sort of.. gel? It was weirdly green.

"Moisturizer. The best I've ever used, and trust me I've seen a lot of cosmetics." Vil dips his fingers in the substance and starts smearing it on your clean face. You don't like the texture - it's so slick and slimy. But even a few seconds in you can feel like your cells are sucking in water.

"Wow, what's in it?" You were simply amazed. It wasn't cold, but so, so refreshing...

"Honestly, I'd love to know too." He sighed. "Azul is the one making it, and I think we both know he doesn't like sharing his trade secrets."

❥

"Oya, today you shine even brighter than usual, [name]." Jade slid behind you out of nowhere while you were harvesting greenhouse herbs for a Potionology assignment.

"Hi Jade. Mind helping out?" If he was going to hang off you, you'd rather put him to work.

"My, to immediately use me without even acknowledging the compliment," Jade sighed but but took the notebook with the list of hearbs, "how cruel of you."

"I'm 'shining' as you put it because I got woken up at the ass crack of dawn to get marinated in cosmetic." You grumbled. "I mean, I like looking good, but I like my sleep more..."

"Cosmetics?" He put a hand to his chin, and you did not like that smile at all. "If I recall correctly our future VDC stars are currently lodging at Ramshackle, so by any chance, would it have been Vil?"

"Huh? Yeah." You answered, eyes narrowing in suspicion. The most natural suspect there would have been Rook, given his frequent displays of (stalkery) affection for you. You'd never even been approached by Vil before...

"How... curious." The mereel gave you a wide smile. "May I know what cosmetics he used, exactly."

"...It's not like I remembered all of it." You replied cautiously. Could it be... "Are you asking because of Azul's moisturizer?"

"Oho, so you are familiar with it!" Jade looked downright giddy. Like, gushing over a rare mushroom giddy. What. "You've used it, haven't you? Where did you use it? Just on the face? Or possibly... the whole body?"

"Uh, just the face, and why are you so excited over it?" You asked, suddenly wondering if you should maybe wash it off.

"Oya, pardon me." He got his demeanor back under control. "It's simply that it was made... cooperatively between me, Azul, and Floyd. It feels great to have our effort so appreciated."

"There's something you're not telling me." You stated bluntly. You'd seen how he is when he feeds you something he'd made, and it's certainly not to this extent even when you yourself were more openly appreciative of it.

"Is there now?" He tilted his head innocently. "Oh how suspicious you are. If you don't trust it, I welcome you to come to Octavinelle over the weekend. We're due to make another portion, so you may observe the process. And if you wish... I could even make you some of your own, no payment required~."

"That is.. weirdly generous." You gave him an inquisitive look. "And are you sure you can just promise to reveal the process without asking Azul first."

"Do not worry. I am sure I can persuade him." Jade chuckled in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. Ok, not touching that with a ten foot pole.

"[name] I got my portion of herbs!" Deuce yelled from somewhere to your right. "Now we just got- J-Jade?! What are you doing here?"

❥

You ended up taking Jade up on his offer. It just kept eating away at you, that happy expresion of his, the way he questioned where exactly you applied the cream. Whatever the big secret was, you wanted to know.

Well, okay, but you didn't want to know, quite frankly you had already stumbled upon a lot of secrets you wanted to erase from your mind, but- You couldn't stand not knowing. Especially when Vil insisted on slathering you in the suspicious cream every day.

The moment you entered through the mirror, you were immediately picked up and swung around like an overexcited kid's teddy bear.

"Shrimpy~ you're here!" Floyd laughed freely. "And you're gonna help us cream~."

"Wha-" You damn near choked.

"With cream! And I'd prefer you call it a moisturizer!" Azul shouted. "Honestly, Floyd, must you be like that?"

"You're no fun Azul." Floyd pouted, as he stopped spinning you around.

"Let the Prefect go." Azul ordered, glaring at the hug. "We have to get on with the production, we don't have all day!"

"Eeeh." He whined but you were let go without much fuss.

"Thanks Azul." You nodded at each other in acknowledgement before making your way to the kitchen.

"Oya, welcome [name]" Jade greeted you. You nodded at him.

The Mostro Lounge was completely empty... It was a bit uncanny this way. Was this special moisturizer really such a big secret they had to close up early to make it? You took a look around the ingredients scattered on the countertop. Plants (a few of which you recognized from Potionology), mushrooms, small labelled vials containing stuff you'd expect in cosmetics (collagen, mineral oil...), and a bottle of hand sanitizer.

In short, there was nothing that could warrant this level of discretion.

"So... am I here to watch you make some herb extracts or....?" You questioned in confusion.

"Oh, there will be extraction. Just not from plants." Jade smiled at you in a very shady way. "Now, since you're our guest today, you choose: me or Floyd?"

"You or Floyd what?" You were not making a choice without full information here!

"Me! Me! Pick me!" Floyd screamed enthusiastically, completely neglecting to answer you.

"We will be extracting a... special ingredient." Azul informed you. "I was honestly under the impression Jade already told you about it, but I suppose not."

"Why ruin the surprise?" Jade's smile widened. "Come on now Darling. We have to choose our ingredient. Me or Floyd?"

"An.. ingredient...?" You took a step back, frantically looking between the three.

The tweels were grinning widely, while Azul looked torn between exhausted and curious. Stop stop stop. What the hell did he mean, ingredient?! You've heard legends about mermaid flesh - were they actually going to cut a part off and blend it into the cream?! Oh you were going to be sick...

❥

You spent some very weird, borderline horror-esque next few hours. Oh, it wasn't as bad as you suspected when they mentioned ingredients. It didn't involve any flesh -or blood- getting extracted. Instead Floyd turned into his mer-eel form and the other two... squeezed him like a rag.

You got to touch him on the tail too, discovering a similar slimeness on his skin as the moisturizer. You didn't participate in the wringing part though. For one, your arms were too weak for this. And also, it looked plenty grotesque with the way the skin moved against itself as it was wrought out like a rag, and the slime dripping from it- ugh, you could barely look.

You ended up being Floyd's hug-pillow for most of it, as he complained and cried about the process and how "Darling wasn't even the one doing it!". Honestly, you'd have been way more sympathetic to him without those comments.

"And done." Jade let go of his twin, letting him crash to the ground. "We got quite a good harvest. We could even make a portion for you, Darling~."

"I don't want it." You wheezed out from under Floyd.

"Don't be like that. It is the best moisturizer acknowledged even by Vil Schoenheit himself" Jade brought the slime in the box closer to your face. You glared at him. "If you'd like, I can even add on a bit from myself. How about you, Azul?"

"H-huh? Well, if [name] wanted it..." He agreed awkwardly. "Of course, only if it's for their exclusive use!"

"No, really, I'm good." You shut it down, internally wondering, as you have for at least the past hour, if Vil is aware that he's putting Floyd-slime on his face. If not... there might be a murder in the near future.

"How about a spa treatment then? A bath with eels..." Floyd suggested, still not getting up. "Seven know I could use a good soak too."

"I promise you a bath with an octopus would be much better!" Azul declared, suddenly competitive for some reason. "Imagine getting a massage from eight arms with suction cups at the same time. Relaxing, isn't it?"

"Uh, no, really, I'm fine. I think I'll just go back to Ramshackle..." You finally managed to get away from Floyd, and onto your feet - this was your escape chance.

"If the slime isn't to your tastes, might I suggest a semen facial treatment instead? I hear it does wonders for the skin." Jade proposed with a smile. "Of course, it's on me~."

Oh you were going to die. Or kill someone. Whichever came first.

"There is no scientific evidence of that!" Azul interrupted, looking all red and scandalised.

"Doesn't mean we can't try and see!" Floyd yelled from the floor.

You were swiftly, and as discreetly as you could, backing away.

"Fufu, I truly love your adventurous spirit." Jade grinned at you, stepping closer as you fumbled with the doorknob. "If you'd like, we can even put it in the moisturizer..."

The door abruptly opened behind you.

"Bonjour! I'm afraid I must take Trickster back now! It's been so long everyone is getting worried!" Rook yelled spiritedly, taking hold of you from behind. Did he... hear what the conversation was about? "Ah, and of course, if you're developing a new product as interesting as this... I shall also sign up for a sample!"

"ROOK?!?!"