Lu Guang: Cheng Xiaoshi, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day? Cheng Xiaoshi: It… It didn't take me the whole day…
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@sgdlr-incorrect
Lu Guang: Cheng Xiaoshi, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day? Cheng Xiaoshi: It… It didn't take me the whole day…

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*Season 2*
Lu Guang: What’s up guys? I’m back. Cheng Xiaoshi: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die. Lu Guang: Death is a social construct.
Cheng Xiaoshi: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Qiao Ling: What's that? Cheng Xiaoshi: Remorse code. Qiao Ling: I'm even angrier now.
Lu Guang: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand. Cheng Xiaoshi: I photosynthesize with this.
Cheng Xiaoshi: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Lu Guang: Aren't you forgetting something? Cheng Xiaoshi: Uuh... *hesitantly kisses Lu Guang's forehead before running out* Lu Guang, blushing: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

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Lu Guang: What are your goals? Cheng Xiaoshi: To pet all the dogs. Lu Guang: No, fitness goals. Cheng Xiaoshi: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.
Lu Guang: This is such a bad idea. Cheng Xiaoshi: Then why are you coming along? Lu Guang: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
Cheng Xiaoshi: Can you keep a secret? Lu Guang: Do you know anything about my life? Cheng Xiaoshi: No, I do not. Good point.
Lu Guang: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works. Cheng Xiaoshi, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Cheng Xiaoshi: If history repeats itself, I’m so getting a dinosaur!

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Cheng Xiaoshi: Okay, truth or dare? Lu Guang: Truth Cheng Xiaoshi: How many hours have you slept this week? Lu Guang: Lu Guang: ...Dare Cheng Xiaoshi: Go to bed. Lu Guang: I don't like this game.
Cheng Xiaoshi, jumping out of the closet: BOO! Qiao Ling: Cheng Xiaoshi: Qiao Ling: Cheng Xiaoshi: *makes a sad face* Qiao Ling: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!
Cheng Xiaoshi: I was arrested for being too cool. Lu Guang: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
Lu Guang: I am the most responsible person in the group. Cheng Xiaoshi: …You just set the kitchen on fire. Lu Guang: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.
Cheng Xiaoshi: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and I feel like that’s more accurate.

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Cheng Xiaoshi: You love me, right, Qiao Ling? Qiao Ling: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere, and I don’t like it.
Cheng Xiaoshi: Are you busy? Lu Guang: Yes. Cheng Xiaoshi: Cool, listen to this.