Hey there. I am an agender pansexual, and today I am here to share a message to all of my fellow LGBT+ people out there. If you are reading this and are not LGBT+, but have a personal relationship (Especially as a family member.) with someone who is LGBT+, then you can probably get something out of this too.
I am still “keeping a straight face” on for my family and certain friends because of the attitude they have towards the LGBT+ community.
It’s not really that they hate or despise us really, but they almost see us as “lost souls” that need help finding their way back to the light. That you just have to, “meet them where they are in their journey, and love them no matter what struggles they have.”.
This thought process is hurtful to me. Even though I know there is nothing wrong with me, they are telling me that my identity is a problem that needs to be fixed. That I’m just at a low spot and will hopefully one day find my way back up to the top. That my identity is wrong. It’s a problem that needs to be fixed.
This is especially hurtful coming from my parents. I am not sharing my identity with them because I am worried they will see me as, what I call, a “failed project/ experiment”. My fear isn’t that they are going to shame me, and hate me, or kick me out the house. It’s that they are going to try to “fix me”. Like I’m broken or working incorrectly.
Just recently my mother started catching on to my LGBT+ identity. After I had straight up lied to her for the first time, and convinced her that I was cis and straight, she went on to confirm my worst dread about the way they would see me.
She confided in me that if any of her children came out as LGBT+, she would worry that it was due to her bad parenting. That she would have some how “messed up”, or taken away the identity we were meant to have.
Once again, saying that I am something damaged that needs fixing. That my identity is WRONG and needs to be fixed. Any of you parents, grandparents, guardians, etc. of a person with an LGBT+ identity… There is NOTHING. WRONG. with them.
They don’t need your help to get better. They aren’t damaged goods that need repair. They are not a project that you failed at. (Meaning their identity is not a result of you doing a bad job raising them.)
They are beautiful and amazing individuals, who have identities that are perfect, and a blessing. They. are. WONDERFUL.
The most hurtful thing you can do to them, is address who they are as a fix it project. They are not a failed project. They are golden people that are an absolute blessing to this society and to you.
Don’t be blinded by your fears and insecurities into thinking that their true identity is who you think they should be, and not who they are. They ARE who they ARE. You aren’t the judge or creator of their identity. They are their identity.
The moment you see that and let go of your fear, is the moment you will be able to see that their true identity is perfect. You will be able to appreciate them for who they are, and your relationship with them will grow through that realization.
As for the people in my community that are in the same place as me…
If you are doubting the rightness of your identity because of the way you friends or family address the LGBT+ community, I urge you to push those thoughts out of your head right now.
Anyone who reads this needs to hear this, not just the LGBT+ community, even though I’m mainly addressing LGBT+ people right now. Who you are, is perfect and amazing. You, as your true self, are a very important component to the world.
I’m not kidding you, or just trying to make you feel better. I’m VERY serious right now. You are SO. IMPORTANT. for our universe. Every individual out there, whether you are queer, straight, cis, religious, atheist, spiritual, white, black, red, or yellow and so on… YOU are so important.
You move and mold our world in small ways that make such a big difference. Right now, and in the long run. Don’t under value yourself, PLEASE. Strive to be your truest self. I urge you.
You being you is the greatest gift you can ever give to anyone. You as yourself inspire others in ways you will likely never know about. Mold the world in ways you will never see. You are so special, and I am so sorry that there are people out there who can’t see that.
The sad thing is not only that they don’t see you for your worth, but that if they don’t see how incredible you are, they probably don’t see how incredible they are either. They don’t know there own worth. That’s the turmoil of it.
So I encourage you strongly to see just how much incredible worth you have, because you are SO. Worth It. You are amazing. I can’t say to not let people damper you mood. It’s painful to hear other people talk about you like you’re a failed project.
I do encourage you though not to let their ignorance cling to you, or identify you. I do encourage you to not let it damper YOU. Who you are. Let yourself feel, but try to keep it from ruling you and your life. Be yourself in whatever way you can, however small, and find the joy in being true to yourself.
I can go on about this all day and write a whole book of encouragement for you, but I know you have a life to live, and it would probably be better spent with you being you. So I’ll end on this final note.
You’re identity is not some damaged goods that needs fixing. You’re identity is an awe-inspiring masterpiece that gives beauty and light to the world. Let your light shine as much as possible. We need it in this time where there is a lot of darkness and fear. We need you.
2087
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