baby felina

u have no shame loving me, & thats why i do whatever u say & want .. ♡

i cry because i desired a gentle love. but when it’s given to me, i reject it because it does not hurt me. i am used to being hurt. i have learned to love the pain. i have become an addict of my own suffering, i have lived for the pain for years, but i am very, very exhausted. i desire to not live at all.

open me up, tell me you like it. fuck me to death, love me until i love myself.

i adore u cos u are impurrfect bb doll. the little girl me, sees the little girl you. please, please savor your youth & do not follow along to peer pressure, trends or what u decide is cool. do not let the terrible things you go through shatter you. one day you will look back like me, & reminisce on a childhood that feels so surreal and dream like. i would do anything to give her a hug and tell her that everything will be okay. i would do anything to go back & raise her as the woman that i am now, despite my mistakes & flaws. she would be safe & loved unconditionally. that little girl would have never become the woman i am today. i grieve her, i miss her, i cry for her every night. sometimes I imagine little girl version of me in fear, watching me as an adult woman, cry and self harm & throw tantrums and ruin her life in the worst painful ways possible. i wonder if the little girl version of me would feel safe with who i am now, or be afraid of her because of such chaos. that is a question that i will never get an answer to, though i do know that i wish i can just told her & protect her from everything she ever endured. life would be different perhaps. constant sadness wouldn’t exist so often for me.

Il est bon pour une femme de garder ses secrets et de se préserver, telle un délicat bouquet.