pinocchiology

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic

In my new gacha game, you can now pull for scantily clad anime women who represent famous airplane crashes.

image description: a photograph of a watercolor painting of a pigeon whose body is primarily gray with pink and green shades throughout, red eyes, and orange feet. / end description

I don't care how bad life gets i'm not watching Love Island

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

Stop warning me about mature content I'm literally an adult

My understanders will Understand me

[ID copied from alt, image 1: a ceramic sculpture of a being with a cloud for a head and a legless body with two arms. its cloud head has a single eye carved in the center and is glazed white. its body is inscribed with raindrop shapes and glazed blue. Image 2: another angle of the cloud being sculpture. End ID]

DJ bunny rabbit has got the whole club burrowing into the soft loam of the dance floor

Every time an author reassures readers that the smut is skippable I sigh a disappointed sigh. This is not a reassurance. Why would anybody who likes smut want to read smut that was only included as an afterthought and has no impact on the narrative? Insulting. Just don't write it at all if you're not going to make it matter.

what they dont tell you about strategy based games is that its hard if you’re stupid