pinocchiology

ID from alt text: Colorful digital art of a maiden and a knight pulling down her dress, his helmet tilting her chin up as she lets him do it. / end ID

"drug seeking" as a patient label one of the most dogshit stupid concepts of all time. fuuuck everybody look out this guy came in here expecting medical treatment. better watch out in case he goes to a restaurant and starts food seeking

[ID: Animated rendered art of multiple pinned butterflies in a frame. Their wings shiver slightly, and spectral white butterflies flap their wings along the edges of the frame. Shadow cuts over one corner of the frame, making two of the three butterflies glow brightly in the darkness. End ID]

oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do

oh my god the slot machine company says if we dont give them money to build the world's biggest slot machine the chinese are gonna build it first and win all the prizes. and then there wont be any prizes anymore

still thinking about how despite everything, sammie still chose the blues. despite everything his father thought about him and ingrained in him about religion, despite everything that happened that night, despite smoke telling him to just bury the guitar and sing for the church instead. thinking about how he couldn’t let go of his guitar, like it was attached to him. it didn’t matter what his voice conjured, it didn’t matter if he was putting himself at risk forever, he couldn’t live without the blues. it’s what made him feel connected, what made his life worth living. music is the only thing that matters ever actually

elizabeth holmes has been spotted soaking lady fingers in a clear colorless liquid. sources close to the entrepreneur claim she is working to "revolutionize tiramisu" by using just a few drops of coffee diluted in water. early testers described the result as tasting "like shit." undeterred, holmes insists that a breakthrough is imminent. her company, theramisu, is currently valued at $150.

let’s talk about how they made it impossible to function without a phone and digitalised everything and then turned around and went “actually! these phone things aren’t safe for kids but it’s magically ok once you’re eighteen. guess you’ll have to have your life dictated by your parents now lol cause we’re gonna take the devices away from you. IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING”

ok my apologies. take away my ability to buy anything too ig because these fuckass stores don’t accept cash anymore. take away my ability to communicate with people outside my house and school because I can’t text and I can’t email and I cant drive to them either and I can’t even fucking get public transport without a phone either. can’t order at a fucking restaurant without being asked to get a membership and install an app and also very sorry but you can only order through our online menu now! have you ever considered that it’s not just about instagram?

my latent uncle abilities

a cancelled tv show is a kind of dead wife

my dad is very intensely involved a battle with his city’s public administration over a playground they have tried to forcibly remove like five times in the past 20 years and DID remove once in like 2005 but then had to rebuild because my dad was such a pain in their asses and came through with undeniable receipts of the zoning plan from the 60s/the historic/cultural value of the urban planning…. like there’s a woman in the city office who is his arch nemesis. he is literally the daredevil of urban planning

everyone in the tags needs to stop saying they want to fuck my dad.

image description: an illustration of a starling, a dark blue bird with a yellow beak, white eye, and orange legs against a yellow background, with yellow and orange stars drawn all over its body and tail. / end description