WARNING! THIS BLOG CONSISTS OF DARK & HEAVY CONTENT.

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welcome! this is an indie + sel yuri egin from the manga blue exorcist loved by ponyo♡

other blogs. @toskad ( saeran choi + mystic messenger ) & @hashiraloved ( multimuse )

    Days seemed so much longer when all energy was being diverted to creating a tiny human. Not to mention standing for most, if not all, of mass had tired her out more than the rest of the week. At least she’s found respite in having a sit at Shiro’s house before her and Syd could walk back home.

    Sighing as she rubs a hand over the belly that’s become almost larger than her, watching her partner entertain the twins with her fun party trick as she liked to call it. Aibi still isn’t sold on whether she wants to have any of her own just yet, or whether being the fun lesbian aunt will be enough for her, but it warms her heart to know that Syd is good with them.

    Yuri’s equally warm voice draws her gaze, her brain taking a few moments to register than anything nice is being offered. It’s still a new concept of learning not to bite the hand that feeds. Not everything was a threat, especially not here.

    “Sure, I’d love one.” Does she know what a pumpkin cookie is? Of course not, but that’s not stopping her from enjoying it’s delicious flavor. Taking a small bite, her eyes alight, “Ohhh that’s delicious!”

     ❛  take  as  many  as  you’d  like!  ❜  you  can’t  help  but  smile  from  the  praise.  though,  it  felt  like  it  was  the  least  you  could  do  in  ivy’s  physical  state.  after  all,  you  were  bigger  than  her  not  even  a  year  ago.  you  knew  just  how  tiring  &  pregnancy  could  be,  so  if  there’s  anything  you  could  do  to  ease  or  treat  her,  you  were  more  than  happy  to  do  it.  especially  since  you  can  only  imagine  just  how  much  more  exhausting  her  work’s  become.  &  especially  knowing  that  she’s  also  partially  dealing  with  your  husband  throughout  the  day.  sure  shiro’s  more  laidback  in  church,  but  he’s  still  shiro.  ❛  i’ll  put  some  in  a  container  for  you  &  syd  to  take  home.  ❜

          open:     eunjin.

          “     so bored  ..  so so soooo bored  !!  yaaaah  ~  isn’t there something we could do  ?  waiting for appa to finish his work is making my head go ewaaaah  !!     “     he’s currently on the floor,  huffing and rolling around.  his hair seems to have gotten all tangled from his shenanigans  ..     “     xie told me there’s this big festival happening in the square  !  can’t we go there instead  ?  c’moooon  ~  pretty please  ?     “  

     ❛  i  know,  sweetheart.  unfortunately  there’s  nothing  we  can  do  except  to  be  patient.  ❜  you  take  a  spot  on  the  floor  to  be  at  level  with  him  while  he  seems  to  do  the  complete  opposite  &  impatiently  rolls  around.  ❛  well,  how  are  we  gonna  go  anywhere  if  you  get  your  hair  all  dirty?  ❜  luckily  she  had  just  swept  a  little  bit  ago  so  not  nearly  as  dirty  as  what  it  could’ve  been.

          open:     han.

          hands crumble papers aggressively,  uncaring if they get ripped and ruined.  they were testing his limits  ..  they were pushing him as far as they can before he breaks.  the mana overflows inside him,  eyes shining in an unsettling bright blue  (contrasting his usual light brown).     “     i’m going to kill them.     “     he’s not.  he knows he’s not.  but he’s fuming,  burying head into hands,  trying to steady his breathing to keep from exploding.     “     they tempt me every day to set that council building aflame.     “     

     your  head  turns  &  teal  eyes  rest  on  the  visual  of  his  face.  the  council  has  been  an  issue  with  han  long  before  you  met  him  &  it  angers  you  that  it’s  been  like  this  for  so  long.  you’d  think  they’d  realize  at  some  point  throughout  the  years  that  he  was  never  going  to  budge.

               It   was   in   the   grim      set      of   his   mouth   -   so      obvious      he   had   expectations   he   didn’t   think   would      ever      be   met,   thumbs   twiddling   and   gaze   averted.   

                  ❛      I   just   -   I      know      who   I   am,   you   know?   The   type   of   person      hard      to   care   about.   It   gets   thrown   in   my   face      every   time      I   think   I’m   making   headway.   So   I’m   telling   you   that   you   don’t   have   to   keep   pretending   around   me.   It   makes   it   harder   in   the   end.      ❜

     ❛  rin-  ❜  there  were  countless  awful  things  in  the  world;  but  her  dear  child  speaking  about  himself  the  way  he  is?  the  cracking  of  her  heart  began  to  cause  pieces  to  break  off  or  fall.  ❛  honey..  ❜  she  pauses  for  a  second  time  to  clear  the  ache  from  her  throat  &  taking  his  selfless,  caring  hand  into  hers.  ❛  i  promise  you  that  i  have  &  always  will  love  &  care  about  you  with  my  whole  heart.  not  even  death  itself  could  erase  the  love  i  have  for  you  in  my  heart.  ❜

❝ i don’t think akira could fake anything other than being sick, ❞ says nana in both jest and comfort. nana would like nothing than for this to work out. she knows akira is deserving, and the feeling is becoming mutual to yuri. she’ll have to assuage akira in the right direction. ❝ but i understand that for sure … wanting to be with someone that’s just not possible. it’s not that it isn’t right with them, but it’s timing or, or something, you know? but i don’t think that will be the case with akira. ❞ 

she’s not speaking completely of her friend now. no, she’s referring to kaito, someone that yuri hasn’t heard about yet from nana, but probably from akira. he is bitter about their breakup(s), blaming his now-rival / once friend for the dissolve of his former flame. 

❝ you’ve known him for a while, then. that’s sweet. akira is taking his time, i think. he probably wants to make sure he’s not going to ruin it. you really are his first, you know?? ❞ she leans forward, touching yuri by the elbow. ❝ akira, as long as we’ve been friends, needs to be told directly. sometimes he doesn’t always get the hint with these sorts of things. he can tell if you’re sad, but a girl who likes him? is sort of new for him. but if you were to ask him, i think he’d probably say he feels the same. it’s been him and dango, now maneki, for a long time now. he loves his cats, but he needs people to love, too. i think it’s sweet. akira shouldn’t live alone forever. ❞

     yuri  could  feel  the  amount  of  anxiety  dropping  from  her  shoulders  &  feeling  it  be  replaced  with  a  softness  of  relief  the  longer  the  two  of  them  talk.  she  really  only  had  akira  to  talk  with  &  while  she  could  talk  to  him  about  this,  she  found  herself  a  little  too  anxious  to.  not  to  mention,  it  definitely  helped  to  have  someone  on  the  inside  to  talk  about  him  with.  she  didn’t  even  realize  just  how  much  she  had  been  holding  back.

     ❛  like..  his-  ‘  first  ’  first..?  i  guess  that  does  make  sense  if  he’s  never  had  a  girlfriend..  i  don’t  see  him  as  the  one  nightstand  type.  ❜  definitely  too  antisocial  for  something  like  that.  yuri  would  definitely  be  shocked  more  than  anything  if  he  were  to  ever  do  something  like  that.

     ❛  it’s  kind  of  silly,  but  i  think  we  both  go  as  slow  as  the  other.  at  a  random,  once  in  a  blue  moon,  moment  one  of  us  we’ll  get  the  courage  to  do  something  completely  out  of  character.  those  days  are  the  nicest.  it’s  when  we  allow  ourselves  to  be  the  most  romantic  or  soft  with  each  other.  the  next  day  it  kind  of  just  goes  back  to  the  normal  kind  of  tiptoeing  around  it.  ❜

nana is surprised both by the lack of contact, but also the contact at all. yuri is right when she says that akira is not a showy man. his affections are limited, at least publicly. yet nana can’t deny that it feels good to gush with a girlfriend, even if it is about akira. he’s such a great launching point for things like this. and in her venture for information, she has definitely confirmed that akira has not slept with yuri. that might change … or it might not. she can’t see akira as a father, but she also can’t not see him as a father, or at least a step-father. is he ready for that? should she ask him? for now, asking yuri seems to be a very viable compromise. 

❝ well, that’s a start! ❞ nana encourages. ❝ he’s a very good friend, and i’m sure he’ll be a very good boyfriend. i think he has potential! ❞ she taps her index finger beneath her bottom lip, pushing it up before releasing it as she speaks again. ❝ he’s pretty shy, even if it doesn’t seem like it. we’ve only hugged, like, a few times, i think. more than that, but you know? he’s so cautious. i think he’s just trying to be respectful, but he could definitely be a little more forward. hm, but i guess he’s just fine the way he is. he seems to be good with your boys. it’s good to enjoy what you have already! though i’m sure he’ll want more in the future. i think he’s worth waiting for, if i do say so myself. once he comes around, he’s very loyal … and very loving. even if he doesn’t show it, or want to say it, i think akira has a really good heart. ❞

     ❛  he  definitely  does!  if  we  don’t  end  up  together,  then  whoever  he  does  end  up  with  will  be  the  luckiest  person.  ❜  but  the  thought  of  that..  the  possibility  of  it  not  being  the  two  of  them..?  hurts  &  scares  her  simultaneously.  how  much  better  of  a  person  would  yuri  ever  be  lucky  enough  to  find?  for  all  she  knew,  she  very  well  may  not  be.  &  it  didn’t  help  that  she  was  such  a  hopeless  romantic.

     ❛  it  just  sucks  a  little  bit..  wanting  to  be  with  someone,  but  wanting  to  make  sure  it’s  real  &  will  last  because  if  it  doesn’t,  i  don’t  ever  want  to  put  the  boys  through  that.  we’ve  known  him  since  they  were  barely  a  month  old.  i  guess  it’s  not  just  him  that  i’m  waiting  on,  but  also  myself  in  a  way.  ❜  normally  yuri  wouldn’t  hesitate  to  have  a  conversation  like  that  with  someone,  but  her  choices  now  wouldn’t  only  affect  her,  but  her  sons  as  well.  all  she  wants  is  the  best  for  them  &  akira.  she  knew  her  feelings  would  last,  what  she  didn’t  know  is  whether  his  would  or  not.  she’d  like  to  believe  it  would,  but  she’d  been  naïve  most  of  her  life.  yuri  learned  her  lesson  with  the  boy’s  father.  she  would  remain  cautious  until  things  felt  safe;  which  really  they  already  had  since  meeting  akira.  after  all,  he’s  only  proven  himself  time  &  time  again.

❝ he is, isn’t he? he’s pretty great, ❞ says nana earnestly, and she means it. akira is her friend, her best friend, and he has been for a long time now. she wants to seem him out there, thriving and happy. he spends so much of his hours alone. 

nana hopes she has helped ease the burden until someone like yuri could come along and make things brighter. 

❝ i do think so. he’s great with kids. he’s an uncle, so i guess that makes sense, and he’s endlessly patient. you two really suit each other. it’s time akira found someone. but i am curious, ❞ she begins to pry a little, nosy as ever. ❝ oh god, i can’t believe i’m asking, but have you two ever … ? kissed or anything? he just hasn’t ever seemed like the type. i don’t think he’s ever seen anyone before now. he’s never mentioned a girlfriend or anything before we met, and he’s never seen anyone since, so i just … oh god, i’m so sorry. i’m totally getting too private here!! ❞

     ❛  truthfully,  the  greatest.  ❜  maybe  that  was  a  bit  cheesy  to  say,  but  he  really  was.  not  far  off  from  an  angel.  honestly  if  he  or  nana  told  her  he  was,  she  would  probably  believe  them  without  a  hint  of  doubt.

     ❛  actually  still  haven’t  met  anyone  in  his  circle.  you’re  the  first.  i  don’t  know  much  about  his  family  or  other  friends,  but  i’m  hoping  that’ll  change  once  the  holidays  come  around.  ❜  that  reminds  her,  she  should  probably  begin  saving  for  gifts  now  before  it  was  too  late.

     ❛  k-kissed..?  ❜  it  felt  almost  childish  to  be  blushing  as  much  as  she  was  at  the  assumed  innocent  question.  ❛  maybe  a  few  times..  no  more  than  a  handful  really..!  ❜  she  wouldn’t  lie,  but  she  actually  found  herself  enjoying  the  topic.  never  in  yuri’s  life  did  she  have  anyone  to  talk  about  stuff  like  this  with.  it  was  refreshing  in  a  sense.

     ❛  we  haven’t  talked  about  it  too  much.  i  enjoy  the  friendship  i  have  with  him  &  i  also  have  the  twins  to  think  about..  ❜  unless  akira  was  anything  like  her  ex,  which  she  knows  in  her  heart  of  hearts  that  he  never  could  be,  only  then  could  yuri  ever  dislike  him  &  ruin  everything  they’ve  slowly  built  together.  though  who’s  to  say  it’d  be  the  same  or  similar  with  him.  really  that  was  her  only  anxiety  of  furthering  their  relationship.

          @setsunaid· said:     ❛ tender . kiss my muse on the cheek. //smooches for han uwu

           (  han is cold.  his expression is always blank and lacking,  his lips are often curled into a slight frown,  his tone sounds disinterested and slightly annoyed.  that’s just how han is,  it’s how he’s always been.  )

          when her lips press against his cheek,  he’s quick to wrap his arms around her and pull her closer,  closer,  closer.  work has been awful,  evidence of it shown by dark circles and lower energy than usual,  stressed by deadlines that are almost impossible to meet,  imposed by people with no sympathy for him,  used and used and used.  her kiss is warmth against skin,  its love blooms like spring and feels like the sun rays fluttering over cheek.

          he pulls her close,  one hand stays on her hip while the other brushes her hair from her face.  his gaze is so soft,  gooey with love and affection,  sweet as double chocolate fudge cake.  he stands up,  height difference created  ;  he bends down to lessen the difference.     “     only one kiss  ?  baby  ..  can’t i have one more  ?  or two  ?  or three ?  your kisses are the only thing getting me through this never-ending pile of work  ..     “     

          fingers dig gently into fabric,  other hand grasping chin and urging her to met his lips again,  again,  again.  he wants to kiss her until it’s too much to bear,  wants to forget about his work and lose himself in her touch.  he presses his lips against hers again,  love overflowing,  taste sweet and addicting.  all he can think about is her,  all he can feel is her,  all he can taste is her.  

            (  han is warm.  his eyes soften at the sight of his favorite people,  his lips are often curled into a slight cat-like smile,  his tone sounds gentle and patient,  his touch is caring.  that’s how han is with her,  with eunjin.  it’s love in subtle actions,  acts of service done to show appreciation.  )

     the  way  his  expression  &  attitude  change  almost  instantaneously  at  the  reaction  of  her  lips  to  the  softness  of  his  cheek  causes  yuri  to  chuckle  into  the  kiss  that  he  then  returns  upon  pulling  her  closer  into  him.  oh,  how  she  already  dreads  pulling  herself  away  from  his  tantalizing  lips.  unfortunately;  that’s  how  it  must  be  if  she  wants  to  save  him  from  the  potential  neverending  shouting  &  bitching  of  horrific  customers.

     though,  every  second  she  tries  to  do  just  that,  yuri  only  finds  herself  melting  back  into  him.  the  hold  he  has  on  her  &  sensations  he  so  easily  makes  her  feel,  makes  it  all  the  more  difficult  to  get  either  of  them  to  focus.  fortunately  the  thought  of  being  able  to  tease  him  comes  to  mind  &  is  really  the  only  reason  yuri  is  able  to  collect  herself  enough  to  properly  focus  &  help  han  as  she  had  previously  intended.

❝ you two have spending a lot of time together, ❞ she comments thoughtfully. ❝ i’ve never known akira to be so social … or interested. personally, i think it’s a good thing. i think having some motivation is good for him. he seems happier. ❞

     ❛  i  could  say  the  same  thing.  ❜  yuri  lets  out  a  light  laugh.  ❛  he  still  is  pretty  antisocial.  ❜  it  wasn’t  too  hard  to  see  just  how  they  became  so  close.  ❛  he’s  incredibly  kind  &  has  helped  me  with  so  much.  ❜  even  now  as  they  were  conversating,  akira  had  taken  the  twins  with  him  to  do  a  little  grocery  shopping  so  yuri  could  make  the  five  of  them  dinner.

warm burnt orange.