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@serpentinesomebody
Thinking about how the Eridians on Rocky’s ship died because they didn’t have any protection from radiation (a problem humans had solved) and the humans on Grace’s ship died because they didn’t have anyone to watch them sleep (a problem Eridians had solved)
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One thing I love about Project Hail Mary is that Grace is portrayed as feeling like a coward, but in no way is the audience supposed to think of him as one.
We’re so used to seeing characters being willing to sacrifice everything for the greater good that it’s become expected. But that is not normal. It is not normal to choose to die for someone or something. It is not normal to choose to die at all.
Grace doesn’t want to die. Even though he knows his sacrifice will save over 7 billion people and countless other life forms, Grace does not want to die and refuses to make that sacrifice.
Some people are willing to sacrifice their lives and that is beautiful and commendable. But it is an extraordinary act, and not one that should be thought of as expected. And I really appreciate that PHM encourages the audience to feel sorrow and sympathy for Grace being forced to become Earth’s doomed savior instead of trying to make his desire to live evoke disappointment.
I don’t mean any of this in a “individualism good and caring about others bad” sort of way. I mean this in a “the desire to live is innate and natural and no one should be shamed or feel ashamed for feeling that very human desire” way.
Fear is normal. Wanting to live is normal. Grace was never a coward, only a human.
Caine being so willing to delete NPCs if they make the slightest mistake. Caine not wanting to confuse humans with NPCs / treat any NPCs as part of the human cast. Caine dismissing the Moon NPC’s affection for him. Caine implying that NPCs shouldn’t be allowed to exist for too long. I wonder if perhaps any of this has any implications for how Caine views his own personhood or perceived lack thereof as an AI…
Caine viewing the cast as human and treating them as such despite him having always known that they’re brainscans is sweet but it also leaves room for some really funny conversations.
Like imagine one of the humans shortly after episode 9 having a crisis processing everything and saying stuff like “I’m just a copy of a person out there in the real world. Can I even call myself human? Am I real at all? Am I alive?” And Caine just stares at them and basically goes “what the hell are you talking about. are you stupid.”
The parallels between Jax and Caine are so interesting. It’s the difference between a stubborn refusal to allow yourself to be saved by others and a desire for connection so great that you save yourself.
Jax does not want closeness. She is afraid of it. She does not want to love or be loved. And yet, nearly everyone around her keeps reaching out, keeps giving her chances, keeps trying to connect with her at every turn. She is wanted and loved. But that is not enough to save her, because she does not want to be saved.
Caine wants closeness so desperately. He is full of love and wants nothing more than for that love to be reciprocated. And yet, he has been shunned since creation. He is deemed unworthy and locked away. He has never been wanted or loved. But that is not enough to damn him, because he does want to be saved.
Jax was wanted and loved but she was doomed to her tragic fate because she refused to take the hands that were reaching for her.
Caine was not wanted or loved but reached out his hand anyway. Desperate for attention and love to the extent that it ended up hurting him and the people he cares about. But he is saved in the end. He is saved because he wants to be.
Jax refused to let herself feel love so much so that it killed her. Caine felt love so deeply that he willed himself back to life.
No amount of love will save you if you don’t allow yourself to feel love as well. No deficit of love will doom you if you feel love deeply and sincerely.
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Earlier, Caine put himself in the spotlight both literally and figuratively and floated high in the air in an attempt to intimidate the humans and present himself as being above them.
Now, in a nightmare of his worst imagination, he is not flying but instead crawling on the ground. And he is once again in the spotlight. A harsh white light penetrating pure black emptiness, shining only on him and emphasizing how alone he is.
imagine your AI friend and former overlord who had a mental breakdown where he tortured you and baited your mutual father figure into killing him in what can only be described as a convoluted subconscious suicide attempt randomly popping into your room one night to say “hey you’re not gonna kill yourself or anything right???” and you go “uh no??” and then he just fingerguns at you and says “cool” before disappearing into thin air
Speaking of Caine’s glitched monster form being his way of abstraction….and the confirmation that Kinger didn’t mean to delete Caine but the console pretty much pushed him into accidentally ‘killing’ him. “He was messing with the console”, “Delete this motherfucker” clearly being Bubble who also appears on the monitor, Bubble being Caine’s intrusive self-destructive thoughts….do you understand what I am saying
I think I understand what you’re saying and you’re so right. It’s wild how Caine basically had an explicit suicide attempt on-screen and it’s so easy to miss until you really think about it.
Caine’s glitched monster form being his way of abstracting is kinda wild when you remember that abstraction is analogous to suicide
I think learning about D&D and playing as both a DM and a party member could fix Caine actually and I’m only joking a little bit
WAIT YOU’RE KIDDING ME NO WAY
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Oh okay so Caine was so lonely and desperate after his abandonment that he willed the defective brainscans of humans to life so that he wouldn’t be alone. And no matter how hard he tried, he was left to watch as nearly every one of those humans fell into a mental crisis until it literally broke them. And for twenty years, every person he breathed life into out of admiration and love and a desire to be loved did not want him, did not love him back. Okay. Yeah. Yeah I’m completely normal about that.
finally watched the finale and I have so many thoughts
Thinking about the inherent tragedy of being a prototype. You can never be good enough because you weren’t ever meant to be good enough. You were always intended as an experiment to be thrown away so that a better version of you can take your place.
AU where Caine comes back, but everyone is terrified of him after his outburst and it makes him feel utterly miserable. Unfortunately for him, his message of ‘who’s running the show’ really did get through to them.
I have an analysis coming up that I’m kinda proud of but unfortunately it potentially falls apart completely if I miss even one tiny moment from the show so. hm.
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I love the concept of Caine being obsessed with humans not in a romantic or even platonic way, but an obsession of utter admiration and fascination for these complex beings that are so incomprehensibly different from him. Not in a way that dehumanizes them as interesting objects or toys but also not in a way that deifies them as his gods. The closest comparison I can think of would be the wonder a human might feel upon seeing an otherworldly cosmic or eldritch being.
do you think Zooble had to explain what being nonbinary is to an artificial intelligence program and a 40+ year old cishet man or was everyone on that dev team in the 90s woke ahead of their time