YOUR GREEK CHORUS

HOWDY !   it’s  eros ,   back  with  another  MISTAKE !   indie - private - selective  scorpius  malfoy ,   headcanon - based  with  loose inspiration  taken  from  the  cursed  child ,   but  NOT  canon  compliant .  iconless  for  the  time  being !  DISCLAIMER :   we  hate  jkr  in  this  house ,   cc  is  not  good ,  &&  in  general  the hp  franchise  &&  i  are  NOT  friends .  transphobes ,   homophobes ,   &&  racists  are  NOT  welcome  on  this  blog .     est .   march  3 ,   2022 

INTEREST  CHECKER   ||   CARRD

something  about  it  being  the  last  day  of  school  must  have  inspired  malfoy.  polly  has  to  admit  he’s  changed  ever  since  he  and  potter  did  whatever  it  is  that  they  did.  the  details  are  still  unclear,  but  she,  yann,  and  karl  have  done  a  fair  amount  of  speculating.  👀  she’s  been  trying  to  get  additional  deets  from  rose,  james,  lily,  sophia,  and  sienna,  but  no  one  says  a  damn  thing  to  her  about  it.  it’s  irritating.  

malfoy  marches  over  to  her.  he  has  to  look  up,  which  is  fine.  polly  is  used  to  looking  down  on/at  him  anyway.  and  she  lets  him  talk  instead  of  interrupting  him,  even  though  she  very  much  wants  to  argue  with  every  sentence  out  of  his  mouth.  it  wasn’t  gryffindor  students  who  stole  a  freaking  time-turner  and  nearly  destroyed  the  world  multiple  times.  it  wasn’t  gryffindor  students  who’ve  spent  every  year  since  first  year  whining  about  no  one  liking  them.  it’s  never  the  gryffindor  students  causing  trouble.  it’s  not  even  the  ravenclaw  or  hufflepuff  students.  it’s  always  malfoy  and  potter.  still,  polly  lets  him  finish,  her  eyes  ice.

          ❛  scorpius.  ❜  it’s  the  first  time  she’s  ever  addressed  him  by  name.  it’s  always  been  voldemort’s  child  or  just  malfoy.  but  they’re  done  with  fourth  year,  they’re  rising  to  fifth  year,  and  polly  can  be  civil  today.  as  a  treat.  ❛  slytherin  is  objectively  the  worst  house  to  be  in,  you  realize  that?  like,  historically  and  everything.  look,  you  and  i  were  never  going  to  be  friends,  but  you  can  at  least  admit  you’re  in  the  worst  house  and  get  over  it.  maybe  then  i’d  tolerate  you  and  albus  more.  ❜  and  tolerance  is  enough.  malfoy  should  settle  for  that.  he  may  be  bold  now,  which  polly  appreciates  very  much,  but  he  needn’t  get  ahead  of  himself.  ❛  no  one  owes  you  kindness.  no  one  owes  you  anything  at  all.  ❜  

                SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT, scorpius realizes, so it wasn’t all in vain. he has succeeded in changing... something. she speaks to him differently, uses his name, which is... a first. 

no one owes you kindness. his father had told him something along those lines the first time he’d owled home nearly in tears when he realized the torment was so much worse than he’d ever imagined it would be. imagine being eleven years old, && no one wanting to talk to you, even look at you, because of your family name, because of a stupid rumor, because people did bad things long before you or they were ever born. it’s true, that no one owes him kindness. but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it, draco had carried on to say. you’re a malfoy. you deserve nothing but the best.

the best friend. the best time in school. the best treatment by others. 

it’s true, he thinks. he does deserve those things. but not because he’s a malfoy. because he’s a person.

“i don’t particularly want to be your friend, either,” he snips, folding his arms. “&& you don’t have to like me. but there’s nothing wrong with being in slytherin. harry potter was almost put in slytherin, did you know that?” it’s time to pull out his geekiest knowledge of history. “&& there are hundreds — thousands — of witches && wizards who were in slytherin && were perfectly normal, good people. PLUS there have been bad gryffindors too! like, like peter pettigrew. he was a death eater, && he was in gryffindor. so, see? it’s not really about houses at all. && you’re making a really.... awful generalization. would you say that to any other slytherin? would you say that about craig bowker?”

all  of  this  is  new  to  albus,  navigating  through  the  messy  thing  they  call  feelings,  being  (  or  trying  to  be  )  at  peace  with  himself.  but  here’s  the  thing  :  he  wants  to  do  it  right.  he  wants  to  do  it  right,  because  he’s  seen  how  things  get  when  they’re  only  half-right,  only  kinda,  sorta  right.  it’s  like  when  you’ve  got  a  pebble  in  your  shoe.  you  can  walk  just  fine,  but  it  rubs  at  your  skin  and  leaves  you  raw.  and  then  walking  hurts  more  and  more.  albus  doesn’t  want  that  to  happen  again,  because  last  time  he  let  things  only  be  kind  of  okay,  he  got  himself  and  scorpius  trapped  in  1981  with  a  rabid,  murderous  furry.  and  making  things  right  with  scorpius  is  of  utmost  importance  to  albus,  in  a  way  he  can’t  properly  describe.  it  means  so  much  to  him.  scorpius  means  so  much  to  him.  and  albus  has  changed,  but  if  scorpius  continues  suffering  and  hurting  and  concealing  it,  he’ll  get  rubbed  down  hard  by  the  world  and  its  hardships.  

          ❛  scorpius…  ❜  he  doesn’t  know  what  to  say,  so  he  says  nothing.  instead,  scorpius  hugs  him,  and  albus  wholly  welcomes  the  hug.  it  feels…  right.  it  feels  so  right.  scorpius  has  his  arms  around  albus’s  neck,  and  albus  doesn’t  shy  away  from  it.  do  we  hug?  they  do  now.  and  despite  his  overwhelming  worry  for  scorpius,  despite  scorpius  losing  his  strength,  albus  smiles.  he  smiles  because  they’re  here  and  they  made  it.  he  keeps  his  arms  wrapped  around  scorpius.

          ❛  i  thought  everything  would  be  okay,  too,  ❜  he  admits.  ❛  we  went  through  everything,  and  i  thought  nothing  could  scare  me  after.  but  i  think  it’s  not  about  not  being  scared.  i  think  it’s  about  being  brave  enough  to  say  when  we’re  not  okay.  ❜  like  scorpius  is  being  brave  now,  talking  about  the  phantom  pains.  that’s  brave.  ❛  let’s  just  go  sit  somewhere  outside?  somewhere  quiet  and  warm?  it  won’t  stop  your  hurt,  but  it’ll  be  nice,  i  think.  ❜  

                THAT’S SOMETHING ALBUS has gotten better at, scorpius thinks, since everything happened. listening. trying to understand. acknowledging when he doesn’t. && scorpius is grateful. maybe the bar is on the ground, && maybe albus will never truly get it, but he knows he doesn’t, && he knows that it matters to scorpius that he tries. that’s all he can hope for, really.

even when the hug feels like it should be over, albus doesn’t let go, so scorpius tucks his face properly into the other boy’s neck && clings onto him like a lifeline until he’s ready to separate.

it’s with shaky, shuddery breath && a weird, twisty feeling in his gut that he finally steps back, letting his arms fall to his sides. “that sounds nice,” he agrees, and it does.

there’s a spot on the hill that overlooks the fields dipping into the valley below. hagrid’s hut is but a speck from here, && scorpius has never liked heights, but this is nice, the way the soft grass slopes downward just so, && late afternoon sun hits their backs as is starts to dip below the walls of the castle. it’s there that he finds solace in sitting with albus now, shoulder to shoulder. his hand rests on the ground between them, absently pulling up grass, the green pigment staining the undersides of his fingernails. the ground is warm. the air is warm. albus pressed up beside him is warm.

“i was worried, i think,” he says after almost too long a silence, “that you would think i’m weak. everything else thinks i need to be coddled. i don’t... want you to protect me, albus. not anymore. not after...” after you almost let delphi destroy the world for me. “’cause. when you do that. i don’t know... i don’t know what it means.”

normal  teenage  stuff?  since  when  is  scorpius  a  normal  teenager?  he  is  the  scorpion  prince.  his  father  is  the  head  of  magical  law  enforcement,  a  most  prestigious  role  in  the  dark  lord’s  government.  the  augurey  hates  to  break  it  to  scorpius,  but  he  is  not  normal  and  he  will  never  be  normal.  and  the  dark  lord  will  not  suffer  normal  teenage  stuff  —  not  if  it  involves  foolishness.  scorpius  knows  that.  he  should  know  that.  his  presentation  may  finally  be  fooling  others,  but  the  augurey  still  senses  that  something  is  off.  it’s  been  off  since  voldemort  day,  according  to  the  headmistress,  and  it’s  evident  to  delphi  that  something  is  wrong.  

          ❛  there  are  two  types  of  rebellion,  ❜  she  finally  says,  having  taken  some  time  to  choose  her  words  with  care.  ❛  there  is  rebellion  against  the  system  and  there  is  cosmetic  rebellion.  ❜  one  targets  a  regime  and  the  other  is  a  show.  delphi  hates  that  she  knows  words  like  that,  hates  how  much  reading  and  studying  she  must  do  to  keep  up  with  the  demands  that  the  augurey’s  job  entails.  it’s  not  easy,  and  it  doesn’t  come  to  her  naturally.  still,  she  persists.  hours  lost  to  books  and  notes  are  better  than  disappointing  her  father.  she  rubs  her  temple  and  locks  eyes  with  scorpius,  making  it  clear  that  he’s  in  for  a  long  haul.

          ❛  not  going  to  class,  not  doing  homework?  that  is  cosmetic  rebellion.  it’s  acceptable.  but  systemic  rebellion  is  not  tolerated,  and  you’re  a  crumbling  pillar,  scorpius.  ❜  and  what  happens  to  crumbling  pillars?  they’re  eliminated.  the  dark  lord  does  not  hesitate.  ❛  i  hear  you’ve  been  asking  questions  about  harry  potter  and  cedric  diggory  and  albus  —  dumbledore?  ❜  digusting.  ❛  you  do  understand  how  improper  that  is?  ❜  

             “NOT DUMBLEDORE,” he says on instinct, && then claps both hands over his mouth in horror. he’d made the mistake of letting albus’ name slip to the headmistress, but he shouldn’t have been so CARELESS here. albus potter doesn’t exist, && that’s a problem scorpius is going to have to wrap his mind around eventually, but in the meantime, he can’t go on talking about him like he does, lest his disguise no longer work.

AWW!  isn’t  he  precious!  isn’t  he!  what  a  tiny  baby!  he’s  adorable!  polly  could  squish  his  little  cheeks!  she  rolls  her  eyes  instead.  she’s  got  to  admit  she’s  impressed  with  malfoy’s  stance  —  this  is  much  more  than  his  usual  cowering  —  but  it’s  still  so  very  pathetic.  she  pouts  at  him,  enjoying  every  bit  of  the  mockery.  

          ❛  of  course  it  doesn’t  make  sense!  ❜  here,  she  laughs,  enjoying  every  second  of  her  game.  isn’t  it  obvious?  it’s  fun  because  it  doesn’t  make  sense.  and  if  it  doesn’t  make  sense,  then  what’s  the  harm  in  it?  it’s  obviously  a  joke!  merlin,  some  people  can’t  take  jokes  these  days.  🙄

          ❛  it’s  all  fun  and  games,  voldemort’s  child,  ❜  polly  cheerfully  says,  tossing  her  hair  over  her  shoulder.  ❛  no  one’s  making  you  get  mad.  you’re  just  choosing  to  react  that  way.  ❜  he  could  just,  like,  not  get  mad  over  it.  if  it’s  upsetting,  that’s  on  him  ❛  now  go  make  puppy  eyes  at  potter  one  last  time,  why  don’t  you?  snakes  belong  together!  ❜  

            IT’S FRUSTRATING, when she doesn’t immediately back down. he should’ve known better than to think standing up for himself once would be enough to convince polly to change her tune. && somewhere in the back of his mind, scorpius knows that the best way to get her to stop would be to not react. clearly, that’s what she wants. unfortunately, if his father managed to instill anything in him, it’s stubbornness. that same stubbornness is what managed to get him placed in slytherin, despite fighting with the hat for nearly four minutes to avoid a ravenclaw sorting.

sometimes he wonders if the bullying would be any better if he’d just let it happen, but then he thinks about albus, && their friendship, && decides that even if he could go back && change anything ( ha, as if! he’s learned his lesson on that )  it would be too great a risk.

but malfoy the un-anxious isn’t going to cower either. scorpius is proud of who he is. proud to be a malfoy, proud to be certain he is not the son of the dark lord, && proud to be the person he knows his mother wanted him to be. or at least he’s getting there.

“i’m going to just say something,” scorpius starts, crossing the corridor in a few quick strides until he reaches her. he’s much shorter than she is, by a head or more, && not intimidating at all, but there’s something fiery in his voice that so rarely manifests except when he’s at his wits end. he can count the number of times he’s truly raised his voice at anyone on one hand. maybe this is what they call turning over a new leaf. “you say such terrible things about slytherin house, but you know what? i’ve met more mean && nasty gryffindor students than i ever have in slytherin. if you care so much about... STUPID house stereotypes, then you’d be a better fit for slytherin, wouldn’t you?” 

                “YOU’RE NOT FUNNY, you know.” the thing about malfoy the un-anxious is that he’s gotten a lot better at STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF. it’s still... hard, when the teasing is relentless, but it’s not worse than anything he’s already been through. pretty hard to be scared of bullies after being literally tortured.