reii໒꒱

With a start, he realized he was sobbing. How embarrassing—how unsightly. A man like him didn’t have the right to go breaking down like this, not when he had a woman like you to protect. He was supposed to stay staunch, to ensure that you could always rely on him, so that you might one day believe he was good for you.

“Shh,” you whispered, your voice light and soothing. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Lohen.”

“Sorry,” he gasped out, blinking the tears from his eyes. “Bun, I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize. I’ve got you.”

“This is so embarrassing,” he whimpered, curling his arms tighter around your shoulders. “It’s been seventeen years. I thought I was over it.”

You said nothing. Hand stroking his head, arm keeping him pressed to your chest, you stood with him in silence. He bawled into the shoulder of your dress, his hands curling into the fabric along your back. Memories of his capture, the screams of terrified children, and the fear and frustration that had been embedded within him ever since that moment had consumed him like a raging fire. Killing monster after monster had done nothing to curtail the blaze, which burned away at his skin like a permanent reminder of his shortcomings. He hated feeling like this—like he couldn’t put a lid on these turbulent emotions. The last thing he wanted was to trouble you, the kindest person he had ever met. You didn’t deserve to be brought down by his scars of trauma, nor did you deserve the curse of being his soulmate.

“You deserve someone better,” he whispered, his brows knitting together. “I’m sorry you got stuck with me.”

You lifted your hands to his face, sharply thrusting it into your field of view. He was startled when he met those wide eyes of yours, that looked as though they were full of fire and fury. Something burned in that gaze of yours, and it had him by the throat, right where your bite had marked his skin all those months ago.

“Don’t you ever talk about yourself like that,” you said sharply. “Do you seriously think I would be with you if I didn’t want to be? Do you think my love is some kind of charity case?”

His eyes widened. The intense look on your face immediately dissipated, your lips curling into a sad frown. As you stroked your thumbs across his cheekbones, you slowly shook your head from side to side.

“I’m with you because I want to be,” you told him. “Don’t you feel the same?”

He let out a shaky exhale. Nodding at you, he swallowed back the dull lump in his throat.

“I love you,” he croaked.

You smiled, and his heart ached. “I love you, too, Lohen. I’m always here for you, you know?”

He nodded. Lifting his hands to your wrists, he gave you a gentle squeeze. Held under your touch like this, he allowed himself to close his eyes, sniffling before you without a shred of shame. You wiped his tears away and whispered sweet affirmations all the while, your voice filled with love and adoration. Oftentimes, you were too much for him—too sweet, too kind. He found himself floundering at your feet, trying his best to keep you happy, to keep his internal fears suppressed. Showing you this side of himself wasn’t something he ever wanted to do, but when you touched him like this, talked to him like you loved him, he could unfurl before you like the fall of a silken ribbon.

“Do you want to take a bath together?” you asked softly. “You can hold me.”

Immediately, he nodded. “Yeah,” he said, his voice hoarse. “That sounds good, Bun.”

“You can bite me again, too,” you said. “If you want to.”

“God, I’d love that,” he answered breathlessly. “You’re way too good to me.”

“You were good to me first.”

His eyes slid open. The smile on your face grabbed his heart between its palms, wringing him for everything it was worth. Without a moment of hesitation, he leaned down and mashed his mouth to yours.

You stumbled back slightly, but he anchored you with his arms, looping them around your hips. The way your hands went from his face to his shoulders made his skin prick with joy.

“…Mm,” you said, your hands squeezing his shoulders. You withdrew from his kiss with a coy look on your face. “Hang on before you do that. You’re filthy.”

In spite of the pressure behind his eyes, Lohen laughed.

“What, you think I’m trying to bite you right now? You know I’m saving that for after the bath, right?”

With your lips closed, you giggled. “Sounds like you might have some other plans, too.”

Heat bathed his cheeks. Giving you a cocky grin anyway, he purred, “I think you’ll like them.”

Your laughter made his heart swell with pride. Nodding your head at him, you said, “Now, I’m looking forward to them.”

“Eh? You weren’t looking forward to ‘em before?”

He pressed kisses to your neck, and you started giggling. Exaggeratedly, he whined, “You don’t like it when I bite you in bed, Bun?”

“Don’t be silly,” you giggled. “You know I love it.”

He loosed a dirty chuckle into your skin. You squeezed his shoulders encouragingly, and after another firm kiss to your collar, Lohen stood upright. He kept one arm looped around your waist, encouraging you with a nudge of his head.

“Let’s clean up,” he said.

You nodded at him, smiling as dearly as ever.

“Yeah, Lohen. Let’s do that.”

You were both members of the Knights of Favonius. Although serving under the same system, your jobs differed greatly from one another.

You were more of a white-collared worker compared to Lohen. Being the Grandmaster’s secretary, you were constantly being bombarded with the immense amount of paperwork that Varka refused to handle. While he was away, Jean did do his job. Therefore, ridding you of having to suffer alone, at least for a little while. But ever since Varka had gotten back from Nod-Krai, they had just continued to multiply exponentially!

Always being under such a copious amount of pressure and worrying about seemingly endless deadlines, you couldn’t afford to miss a day of your job. Even when you were sick, you’d still force yourself to clock in. That was how serious you took your job.

But with a grown man clinging to you like a koala, you could barely lift a foot off the ground. Let alone make it out the door.

“Lohen, I really don’t have time for this. You’re gonna make me late…”

Your words fell on deaf ears, Lohen’s grip only got tighter.

“…Nuh-uh. I don’t want to be alone today.”

Well someone’s in a mood.

“Lohen, please!” you plead, making an attempt to move your leg, only for it to stay stuck.

It was comical, really. Lohen rarely got sick, he has the immune system of a bat. So when he does get something like a minute fever, he milks that opportunity dry.

“You’re really going to leave me alone? While I’m practically on my deathbed? You’re too cruel, angel.”

His pout deepens. Then shifted into a feverish grin as he kissed your leg once more. His flushed skin felt warm against yours, and you couldn’t help but shiver.

“…Stay with me,” Lohen murmurs, staring up at you. His eyes glistening from the inflammation to his sinuses.

“Please?”

Damn it! He knew you could never resist whenever he looked like that.

“But…Lohen, I can’t. Gods, I wish I could. But I just can’t afford to miss work.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve already turned in your PTO. Jean reviewed and said you can take today off.”

…Huh?

Your face contorted. Going from confusion, to excitement, then back to confusion once more.

“Wait, what? When’d you—what? When did you turn it in? How—”

Lohen shushed you before you could get another word out. Bringing himself up to your level. You can feel his hot breath fanning against your face with how close you two were.

“That’s not important right now. What is of importance is you being here, and taking care of your deathly ill boyfriend.”

His voice was low, sultry, with a gravelly sound from the cold. A hand cupping your face, as his thumb swiped lightly across your bottom lip. Your eyes widened, face flushing at his subtle tease.

Gods, he’s still a sly little bastard. Even when suffering from sickness.

“How’s that sound?”

You bit the inside of your mouth. Trying to contain yourself, yet you find your resolve beginning to melt under his gaze.

“…Fine, you win!”

Lohen chuckled. His free hand pulling you in, then kissed your temple.

“That’s what I thought. C’mon, you have to take good care of me today.”

“So then I said to Varka, what’s the point of all this new gear if we don’t go looking for enemies to test it on? And everyone looked at me like I’m the crazy one!”

Lohen was pouting at you, his cheek held in one hand while the other drummed his fingers against your desk. You smiled at him, giving him an encouraging nod.

“I feel like no one really gets me,” he complained. “They’re all like, ‘Vice Captain Lohen’s a bloodthirsty monster’! I mean, they’re not wrong, but I’ve got a head on my shoulders too!”

“Mm,” you answered, your eyes focused on those drumming fingers of his. “It sounds like they assumed you just wanted to fight.”

“Yeah! Which, I guess I do. But my idea was actually practical!”

Your hand slid across the surface of your desk. You watched Lohen’s face as you weaved your fingers through his, taking immediate notice of how wide his eyes turned. His drumming fingers immediately stopped, and with a sharp turn of his head, he gawked at your joined hands like he couldn’t believe it.

It didn’t take long for his cheeks to become consumed by a fiery red color. He lifted a gloved hand to his face, shifting his gaze away from you as he muttered, “I thought you said you wouldn’t do that in public anymore.”

You smiled fondly at him. “It’s empty in the library right now. If someone comes in, I’ll let you go.”

“The damage’s already done,” he said into his palm. “You’re gonna give me a fuckin’ heart attack, Bun.”

“That’s a little dramatic,” you laughed. “The Vice Captain of the 5th Company can’t fall to his girlfriend’s hand. That would make a horrible epitaph.”

“…You’re my girlfriend,” he said, almost as though he was trying to convince himself of it.

“I’m your girlfriend,” you said. “Remember how you desensitized yourself to dandelions? We should desensitize you to my hand, too.”

Lohen’s eyes pressed shut. After a pause, he muttered, “I guess you’ve got a point.”

You squeezed his hand. The way Lohen’s shoulders jumped made you giggle.

“Quit that,” he complained. “You’re not making this any easier for me.”

“Oh? But I thought you liked a challenge, Lohen.”

He let his hand fall from his face, revealing a sardonic smirk. “Am I imagining things, or are you enjoying this?”

“I’m enjoying holding your hand,” you chirped. “But your cute reactions are definitely a plus.”

“Don’t call me cute,” he answered, the corner of his smirk twitching. “Once we’re outta here, I swear I’ll get you.”

“Get me?” You grinned. “Get me how, exactly?”

His face was still scarlet, but with a cocky smirk, he popped his eyebrows and murmured, "Wouldn't you like to know?”

You felt warmth touch your face. Giggling shyly, you squeezed his hand again, your heart skipping a beat in your chest. Lohen leaned across the desk, his face coming closer to yours, and when the tip of his nose brushed yours, you let out another uncontrollable giggle. You pressed your eyes shut, your wide smile hurting the corners of your mouth.

“You like me,” he crooned, “don’t you?”

You couldn’t stop laughing. Nodding at him, you said, “Of course I do.”

“Say it for me,” he murmured, his breath ghosting across your lips.

“I like you,” you replied, nursing his hand in yours. “I like you a lot, Lohen.”

He let out a laugh, the sound and feel of it tickling your cheeks. Quietly, he said, “I like you too, Bun.”

He kissed you so fast, by the time your eyes opened, he was already pulled away from you. His hand left yours, you instinctively reached after it, but Lohen had already stood to his feet with his back facing you. You could see the redness in his neck, and the peek of his smile from the slight turn of his head towards yours.

“I gotta get back to work,” he said casually. “Don’t leave without me, though. I’ll walk you home.”

You held your face in your hand, smiling fondly. “I’ll be waiting, then. Good luck, Vice Captain.”

He snorted. “Later, library girl.”

With a casual wave of his hand, the tall wooden door to the library closed behind him. Cupping your cheeks under your palms, you let out a pleased sigh.

“He’s so cute,” you whispered to yourself.

“Oh, your boyfriend’s gone now?”

When you heard Lisa’s voice, you let out a yelp. You whipped your head to your right, seeing the coy-eyed woman sauntering towards you with a knowing smile. Face smoldering, you sputtered, “L-Lisa! How long have you been here?!”

“About as long as the Vice Captain has,” she told you with a giggle. “I didn’t realize you liked flirting on the clock, cutie.”

“I’m sorry,” you said quickly, your heart hammering in your ears. “I’ll get back to work.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Lisa shook her head, lifting her pointer finger to her lips. “I promise I won’t tell a single soul. Besides, it’s nice to see you look so happy about something.”

“O-okay,” you stammered. “Sorry. I’m getting back to work, I promise.”

“Hehe…it’s a shame the Vice Captain didn’t get to see you like this, cutie. Should I bring him back here?”

You closed your eyes. “Lisa, please stop.”

“Okay, okay. Here’s a few new books that need labeling. I’ve got some business to attend to, so I’ll be back later, okay?”

You nodded, accepting the stack of novels from your coworker with a small smile. When Lisa left, and you were alone in the library once again, you let out another lovesick sigh. Lohen’s red eyes consumed your thoughts, and the feel of his lips on yours had your cheeks flushing with warmth all over again.

“…I miss him already.”

My number one thing I tell anyone is WRITE FOR YOURSELF. i cannot stress this enough. WRITE FOR YOURSELF! sure, sharing your works with others is a great way to make friends and get your work recognized, but the only "responsibility" you have when writing is TO YOURSELF! if someone does not like what you've written, they can just not read it. please don't stress over any negative comments or lack of engagement, thinking it means that your writing is not good. THEY ARE READING YOUR WORK FOR FREE. that is already a great honor, and anyone who doesn't acknowledge that is not worth your time.

Another thing that I, personally, find helpful is to READ. it doesn't matter if its fanwork or official books. these days, i write so much more than i read (T_T) but when i do read, im usually using a highlighter on my phone ebooks app and picking segments i really like and feel like i can draw inspiration from. i usually write a note about what i liked about that segment, and i think about how i could write something similar in the future.

For example, i recent finished fight club - chuck palahniuk (im late i KNOW) and had such a great time analyzing the main character and the themes of toxic masculinity in the novel. a fanwork that im reading right now is let me in, if even just to bore me - murg. they are one of my favorite fanfiction writers, and unfortunately due to issues with people feeding their content to AI they have deleted their other fanworks, but this one is an OG creation that reads like a novel. i have so many highlights in chapter 1 alone - i truly adore this work! find some fanfic authors you like, and really think about what you like and how you can emulate parts of their style! but ofc, please do not plagiarize >.>

But you don't have to just read to find inspiration! like a line from a game? think the dialogue between two characters in a show was funny? think how you can apply that to a fan creation! a lot of my humor fics are inspired by memes and shitposts xD hell, even real life situations inspire me sometimes! find joy in the world around you, and let it inspire your creation!

Lastly, if you are new to writing/fanfic, you need constructive feedback. If you can get a friend to help you out, or someone online, that will help tremendously. I ask my friends to read lines for me all the time to make sure they're clear. The number one thing here is: remember its constructive. Do not get offended if someone tells you they don't get what you're saying or think your flow is off. They are just trying to help you. Of course, if you receive unsolicited constructive feedback... that's a different story >.> im a big believer that if you did not ask for it, i am not leaving any sort of criticism on your work, no matter how helpful it may seem to me. i hope that others do the same!