gravity is dicks.

"unbecoming" is such a great word. bro that shit was so rude you no longer Are

Normalize breakfast Dates.. Let’s go get pancakes and orange juice and talk..

In what world is this not already normalized

Dude I cannot do work from home it is 9:09 and I have jerked off twice

i teleport behind you like in the animes but we’re ass to ass

under my totalitarian regime being a housewife will not be allowed. you WILL become an accomplished scientist

you’re one of the three survivors after the apocalypse & the other two are visibly passing one of theirs’ phones back & forth having a secret conversation in a notes app

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”