seni

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ꕀ⠀𝆹⠀⠀ׄ⠀⠀ִ⠀ 18 ⠀ּ ּ   she | her

=͟͟͞♡ EN, txt, bts, twice, snsd, exo, illit, ahof, got7, 2ne1, bigbang, shinee, apink, gidle, le sserafim, ive, &team, btob, redvelvet, aespa, astro, victon, jisoo+

𖹭ᩥ— i only write for enhypen ! also a sucker for bittersweet endings.

• EN- Masterlist

𓈈 ♥︎ 𓈈

Lee Heeseung × Reader

tags: rivals to lovers, enemies to lovers, both hee and reader are kind of arrogant, they like to rile up each other a lot, a little bit of angst, mostly kind of fluffy, if fluffy is what you call them shit talking each other, theyre both kinda mean, mean rich kids attitude

notes: i like this trope on heeseung a lot, i can see him being so good at pissing people off cuz he makes good comebacks everytime loll | not proofread huehe

summary: your definition of a peaceful, perfect college life as an IT student while being a part of your dream debate team gets interrupted as the all-time famous campus golden boy, lee heeseung, suddenly joins and challenges your ways and authority. his reason? to beat the rivaling university's team who includes his childhood sweetheart, apparently to win her heart. with both arrogant and mocking natures, what could possibly go wrong for the both of you? oh.

Mocking Love

ENHYPEN MSTRLIST

SERIES MSTRLIST

You loved the rhythm of debate. The structure, the logic, the way words could be sharpened into weapons and wielded with precision. As an IT student, your life was already filled with codes, systems, and rules — debate was where you could breathe, where you could be strict but free, where your sharpness wasn’t just tolerated but encouraged.

The university’s debate club was your sanctuary. You had earned your place at the top, respected for your discipline and feared for your sharp rebuttals. You were smart, strict, and unapologetically proud of it.

So when Lee Heeseung walked in one afternoon, golden boy smile plastered on his face, you knew trouble had arrived.

You stared at him with a deadpan face and legs crossed. "No."

His mouth forms an 'O', bristling. "I haven't even said anything yet." He grumbles.

Had pigs already begun to fly? You looked through the window.

"I've seen your competitions, you're good." He says, scanning the room full of papers, almost flinching at the sight of the pile of scripts.

You scoffed, almost insulted. "Good?" You took a laser pen and pointed it on the glass cabinet full of trophies behind you, still looking at the papers on your table. "You're looking at the wrong places, look again."

Heeseung laughs, and then whistles. "Pompous, but then again you've always been like this, it's why your competitors have reasons to dislike you more."

"They don't like me because they got their egos bruised when they lost to me. Bitterness is for losers who make their loss a whole personality." You corrected, still not lifting your head.

"That, I can agree on. I've seen my fair share of pettiness in court, especially with bastards who act like I ended their whole career, but what can I say? No matter what they do, I'll still end up at the top, game lost or won." He fiddles with his index finger's ring, staring at your still busy form.

"Arrogant, but then again you've always been like that, it's why your opponents care more about your reputation than the game results." You comment, finishing up and straightening a few stacks.

He laughs and you finally looked at him, arms crossing.

You sigh. "Why are you here?" Your voice was clipped, eyes narrowing as he leaned casually against the doorframe.

"To join," he said simply, his tone light, almost teasing, but one thing was for sure, irritatingly so, he's serious.

You raised a brow. "You? The university's golden boy suddenly wants to debate? What happened, did basketball get boring?" You swerved your chair from your table to the lockers, putting out another stock of papers.

Heeseung's grin widened. "Not boring. Just... not enough." He shrugged, already pulling a chair and sitting down in front of your table.

You almost let out a laugh and scoffed. "Not enough? Last time everyone checked, and by last time, literally this morning where you skipped morning classes per usual for your morning practice, your whole life is basketball." You chipped out, circling out points on a member's script. "Any particular reason? Perhaps something more, personal?"

He sighs and slumps on the chair. "Yeah, I guess so. Why, is the debate club's great leader so interested in me?"

You rolled your eyes, still marking and checking the structures. "Don't flatter yourself, you're the one asking to join the club, I'm more interested in not letting just any random people join."

"The opponent university's debate team for next month's competition has someone I know." His voice carried a hint of pride, as though the words themselves were a badge of honor. "A childhood..... friend." He hesitates.

You stared at him, incredulous. "You have got to be kidding me."

"I wish," he said, shrugging. "But I'm serious."

From the start, he was a thorn in your side. He questioned everything— your methods, your authority, the way you structured arguments. You've seen interviews and articles about him, the university's journalism, even other schools, few of the professional media, he's not someone you'd say you'd be in agreement with. He's definitely not someone you'd like to be associated with, but then again, you can't just randomly turn him down because you don't like him, you'd have to have a reason, fortunately here it is.

Your eye twitched. "You do know this is a debate club, right? The Lovesick club is the room across, you've come to the wrong club." You says and turn your back on him, signing scripts on the other table.

"Wait, seriously, I'm not playing some sick joke here. I really, really want to join." He pushes the chair closer to your table and leans.

"You want to join or your friend wants you to join?"

"Don't say that."

"Hurts?"

He slumps on the chair, almost defeated, but he couldn't back down now. "Look, I'm really, really serious, okay? Besides, you know I can do it, I can be an asset. You and I both know it'll be good to have more competent members."

He isn't wrong, in fact, he's infuriatingly right. Lee Heeseung isn't the University's Golden Boy for no reason, good grades, amazing gaming skills, even more amazing physical sports plays, rich family, equally sporty brother, popular circle, an almost perfect dream. He'd be a really good addition for the team, ignoring the things you hate about him. Another one is having more competent members...

"Quite updated aren't you?" You rolled your eyes, standing up and coming towards a drawer containing the application forms.

He snorts. "With it being all over CONNECT, I doubt I'm the only one updated." He scrolls a bit on his phone and slides it on your table, the video playing on the screen.

"Is it really blackmail or just plain lack of braincells?" You state, standing in front of a kneeling girl, she was crying, staring at the scattered papers, or rather, scattered evidence of her betrayal.

More and more people started to gather around the hallways, murmuring, laughing, mocking, taking pictures, taking videos, but you didn't care, these were the consequences of her stupid actions.

A member behind you handed a few more papers, you scanned through the contents of each paper one by one. "October 14th, the Impromptu Debate, November 6th, the Historical Debate, November 20th, the Military Debate, December 8th, the Status Division Debate, December 22, the Unpassed Bill Policy Debate," You threw the papers down on her as you read through them. "and many more up until now, how.." You threw all the papers at her face, she started crying even louder. "..rude, and loud. What are you crying for?"

The girl doesn't answer, keeping her head down and trying to hide her face from the cameras and phones.

You sneered, "Oh, the consequences of my own actions, how sad." You deadpanned, genuinely stupefied by her.

"Again, blackmail or simple lack of braincells? You cry and tell me you were blackmailed into giving out the scripts we had written for those debates, but these papers," You stepped on them, "tell me you gave them out of pure greed— for 50,000? And it's," You took out your wallet and pulled out a stack of cash, throwing it on her face again. "insulting." The girl was shaking and frozen on the floor, her gaze avoiding anything and anyone.

"50,000, for the team's hard work? For my work? Honey, my work costs more than your car." You stepped close to her, bending a bit. "I have no qualms with scholars attending this school nor joining my team, but scholars who know nothing but money and no brains.." You flicked her temple. "...are one of the things I hate the most."

You smiled, cold and calm. "But no worries," You ripped the debate team's symbol off her neck, she choked and coughed a bit. "lowly people like you aren't welcome on my team." Your smiled suddenly turned polite.

"Clean the mess." You say one last time and turned around, closing the door of your club office.

Heeseung whistles. "What a show, you're quite scary, Debate Leader-nim." He takes his phone back and scrolls again.

You groan and massage your temple. "Great, it has a permanent place there." If this one was stupid, you could at least hope he hears the sarcasm. "The only reason the school let it slide is because I'm the best. They can't exactly remove me, nor do they want to."

"I must say, it adds great publicity to the team, especially to you. Although some of them think it's too cruel and arrogant of you, most of the people seem to love it even more. 'A true sharp and logical debater', 'Serves the girl right for betraying her team', 'This is why scholars shouldn't be allowed on official teams', 'Why trade a sure champion team for little money? She could have gained more if she stayed with the winners lol', 'That's the confidence you need to have as a debater', 'She knows her worth, slay for that'." He reads with dramatic gestures.

Your eyes almost twitch. "Enough, back to your application." You slap a form and a pen in front of him.

You take away the pen when he reaches for it. "Ah ah, wait. Seriously, Lee Heeseung, the only reason I'm considering this is because we currently lack competent members—"

"You mean they got scared because of what happened to that girl—"

"Being scared only means they doubt their own loyalty. Now," You sigh. "once you fill up the form, I'll ask around for opinions to the other members and then we'll decide."

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Liar, when have you ever asked for opinions? You've always decided on your own, you just don't want me here. You're not considering because you lack members either, you're considering because you know I'd help you carry this team to the very top. I'd make your 200% a full on 400%." He smiles all too knowing, smug.

You smile empty at him, "Listen here, you arrogant fuck,"

He blinks in surprise and then laughs.

"I can carry this team to the very top if I need to. I'll be reminding you that you're the one who wants to join my team for your little puppy love issues, not the other way around." Your smile turns polite in a second as you hand him the pen.

"Now fill it up and get out of my office."

“Why do you always insist on rigid outlines?” he drawls out one afternoon during practice, leaning back in his chair and spinning a pen on his fingers with that infuriating smirk.

“Because structure wins debates,” you shot back, your tone sharp. “Not charm. Not theatrics. Logic.”

He tilted his head. “Funny. I thought debates were about persuasion. And persuasion needs more than just cold logic.”

You rolled your eyes. “Spoken like someone who’s never actually won one.”

His grin faltered, replaced by a spark of irritation. “Then let me prove you wrong.”

Every practice became a battlefield.

You mocked him for his reasons, for chasing after a childhood sweetheart like it was some grand mission.

“Do you really think she’ll be impressed by you standing at a podium?” You sneered one afternoon, arms crossed.

“Do you really think your strict little rules will work every single time?” He shot back, leaning forward, his voice low and challenging.

The room buzzed with tension whenever you two spoke. Other members exchanged nervous glances, unsure whether to intervene or let the war be.

But beneath the clashes, there was something else.

You hated to admit it, but his presence made you sharper. His challenges forced you to think differently, to defend your methods with more conviction. And when he spoke—arrogant, fiery, unyielding—you felt a pull you couldn’t quite explain.

Your brain thinks there’s finally a worthy competitor— it’s just extra annoying because it happens to be a teammate who likes hitting your nerves.

Heeseung, for all his ridiculous reasons, was good. Too good, it’s ridiculous. His charisma filled the room, his words flowed effortlessly, and though you mocked him, you were secretly swayed by the way he could persuade an audience with nothing but his voice.

And he, though he would never say it aloud, liked the way you pushed back. You were the only one who didn’t melt under his influence, the only one who called him out, the only one who made him fight for ground.

"A practice debate?"

You nod as an answer to the member's question, standing in front of all of the debate club's members who were seated.

"So suddenly? We never had any of this before, why now?" Another asks, clearly frustrated.

You sigh and lean both of your hands on your table. "They said it's further preparation, to test the waters."

You hear a few snorts and sighs.

"I know it's annoying, I also personally think it will only disrupt our ongoing preparations for the actual competition, but they're really adamant about it." You rubbed your temple and turned on the TV connected to your laptop.

Everyone groans as the TV displays the topic for the practice debate.

"I know, great, more work." You drawl out. "I'll draft out a petition to adjust the actual competition since we're getting disrupted, but I doubt it's going to get approved."

"I'm going to punch somebody." A member murmurs.

You glanced at him with a pointed look. "Let's just... take it as an opportunity to gather information on our opponents, not that we need it. We've always won with pure skills anyway." You casually stated.

A scoff echoed through the huge club room, a moment of silence following with a member slapping their forehead and the others sighing and looking at you nervously.

Your eyes found Heeseung's, his annoyed stare meeting your indifferent and casual ones. "You always have a problem, don't you?" You sighed, walking in front of your table to sit on it.

"I'm not the one with superiority issues." He chuckles, crossing his legs.

"I'm not the one getting offended for a girl who wouldn't even look at me unless I do what she wants." You rebutted, smiling with faux politeness.

His eyes almost twitch. "Why do you always have to make everything about her?" He leans on his table. "Careful, I might think you like her too."

You laugh, genuinely amused. "Me? Every time you open your mouth, it's your ego talking for her. Why would I like someone not worthy enough for me to even know the name of?"

"Wow, so high and mighty, apparently no one's good enough for you anymore, huh?" He sneers, standing up and grabbing a few papers from a table.

You shrugged. "I practice efficiency and facts, not feelings and relationships."

He scoffs again, almost in disbelief. "You, you're really into yourself, aren't you?" He holds up the papers. "I'll take care of these parts, if my work is better than yours, we follow my lead, leader or not."

Your gaze sharpens, face hardening. "If you want to stay in this club, competing with a teammate out of personal feelings is a liability. If I see you being one, I'll see you out the team, you best know that, Lee." You say, voice final as he walks out.

The room echoes silence when he closes the door.

"We're gonna die." A member whispers, slumping in his chair.

Heeseung slid the stack of papers across the table with a smug grin. "Read it and cry. I told you I could match you, and honestly? I might’ve just outdone you." He crosses his arms with playful confidence.

You raised a brow, flipping through the pages with deliberate slowness. "Outdone me? Please. Half of this is you trying too hard to sound clever. Efficiency, Heeseung. Ever heard of it?"

He leaned back in his chair. "Efficiency? You mean your habit of cutting corners and calling it a win? At least I don’t recycle the same three arguments and dress them up with fancy words."

A vein almost pops out of your temple. This guy is really testing every bits of kindness left on you.

You scoffed, tapping the paper with your finger. "Fancy words win debates. Judges eat them up. Meanwhile, you’re out here writing like you’re submitting a grocery list to your mom."

He smirked, leaning forward. "And yet, that ‘grocery list’ is airtight. Admit it— you’re impressed. I can see it in your eyes. I’ve seen that look a thousand times from my coaches."

You rolled your eyes, though your lips twitched. "Impressed? Don’t flatter yourself. This is... tolerable. Which is saying a lot, considering most people’s work makes me want to set it on fire."

Heeseung laughs, shaking his head in genuine amusement. "Tolerable, huh? That’s the closest thing to a compliment I’ll ever get from you. I’ll take it."

You snapped the papers shut and pushed them back toward him. "Don’t get used to it. But fine— we’ll use this for the practice debate. Try not to choke when your childhood sweetheart is watching."

"Hey!"

The day of the practice debate arrived, and the room buzzed with anticipation. Both teams settled in, papers rustling, whispers filling the air. On the opposing side sat Heeseung’s childhood sweetheart, her smile faint when she glanced at him, but her gaze hardened the moment it landed on you.

Heeseung straightened his shoulders, script in hand, and gave you a sideways smirk.

“Ready to watch me steal the spotlight?” he teased under his breath.

You shot him a look, lips curling. “Steal? Please, if you trip over your own words, I’m not saving you. I’ll let you crash and burn in front of her and the judges."

He chuckled, leaning closer. “You say that, but I know you’ll jump in. You can’t resist winning too much to let me fail.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes, but the corner of your mouth twitched. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m here for my reputation, not your redemption arc.”

"There's no redemption if I've never failed in the first place."

When the debate began, Heeseung took the lead. His delivery was sharp, confident, and his script carried weight. You followed seamlessly, backing his points with precision.

The whole room was taken aback by this new dynamic, so used to seeing you working around everything.

Despite the new flow, the team moved like clockwork, dismantling the opposition’s arguments one by one.

While Heeseung spoke, you could her staring at him from the other side, her gaze hardening the longer he spoke and the longer the judges stared at him with fascination.

You almost sneered, it's always been like this with people like her. Pride and Ego over everything, with jealousy and envy blowing out the ashes left.

By the final rebuttal, the judges declared your side the winner. Heeseung’s grin was triumphant, but his eyes flicked immediately to his childhood friend, searching for approval, but she almost bolts out with rest of her team.

He hands you the paper he held and immediately runs after her, calling her name.

He approaches her as she stops, voice hopeful. “So… what did you think? Impressed?”

She slowly turns to face him, her expression tightened, bitterness seeping into her tone. “Don’t get too excited about a win. Beat us in the finals first.” She says firmly.

Heeseung’s smile almost falters. “I meant, our script. I lead the team, we used my way. The judges were impressed, right? They totally ate up my scripts.” He tries again.

She clenches her fist on her back, eyes darting away. “You’re a first timer, they were lenient, but it’s good for a first timer.”

His smile drops now, arms falling to his sides. “But—”

“Until then, this is bare minimum.” She says and walks away.

The words hit him harder than he expected. His shoulders stiffening and dropping as the glow of victory dimmed. He turned away, jaw clenched, frustration written across his face.

You slowly walked up to him, arms crossed. “Well, that went about... as well as expected. You really thought she’d clap for you after losing?”

He turns to you, glaring. “Don’t start.”

You shrug. “I don’t know what you expected.”

He sighs and sits down on a bench. “She’s not... usually like this—”

“I doubt that—”

“Let me finish before you pop a nerve again, okay?” He shots you a look while you look away. “It’s not like I always had the skills and everything. I was a scrawny kid, dumb smile and even dumber skills, in contrary to what people think, I got bullied a lot before. I used to flinch even at the slightest sounds because of this perfect pitch, I hated it. Other kids screamed in my ears so I always cried because it hurt, and I couldn’t focus on anything unless it was quiet. But she was good in everything, lived across the house and helped me with everything.”

He leans his head back on the backrest of the bench and closes his eyes. You sat beside him and munched on a biscuit quietly.

"When I learned to manage and get used to perfect pitch, I was driven by the urge to get back at those people, so I made myself into a prodigy. We went separate universities, but she was always the first one to congratulate and compliment me. She’d tell me how she sees fascination in the coaches eyes and how the guests from big companies and universities were impressed. I was satisfied with everything, but then a random guy joined their team. She said he was a big shot, really good."

You snort. "I can already tell where this is going." You almost laugh as you cracked another biscuit in your mouth.

"Shut up."

"I'm not the one telling his lovesick story here."

"Just keep it shut until I finish." He rolls his eyes and continues. "Anyway, and so I got jealous, okay?— I can see your shoulder stop silently laughing at me. It's just, the way she talked about how he did things so differently..."

"Just keep it shut until I finish." He rolls his eyes and continues. "Anyway, and so I got jealous, okay?— I can see your shoulders, stop silently laughing at me. It's just, the way she talked and looked at him was different, I was scared I was going to be replaced, so I told her I'd try debate too, she didn't want me to, we almost fought."

"But you determined to prove you're better than that guy." You state the obvious, shaking your head.

"Yeah."

"Childish."

He groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I just wanted her to see I'm not the same kid anymore."

You tilted your head, voice dry. "She saw it. She just couldn't admit it. Calling your work 'bare minimum' after it won us the debate? That's her ego talking, not the truth."

He shot you a look, half wounded, half defensive. "Easy for you to say. You're used to people being impressed by you."

You smirked, leaning on the backrest bench. "Correction: I'm used to people being destroyed by me. But today? You led us. That script was strong. Don’t let her bitterness rewrite what happened."

Heeseung blinked, the sting in his chest easing slightly. “Equal, huh? That’s the closest thing to a compliment I’ve ever gotten from you.”

You rolled your eyes, but your lips curved. “You said that last time too. Don’t get used to it. But if you keep writing like that, I might even let you lead again.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You said that last time too.” He cheekily shots back. “Careful, you’re starting to sound supportive. People might think you actually like working with me.”

You shot back immediately, “Don’t flatter yourself. I just like winning— and today, you proved you’re not a liability.”

Heeseung grinned, the feeling bitterness fading into determination. “Fine. Bare minimum or not, who cares? The great debate leader with consecutive wins, never loses has blessed me.” He exaggerates, mocks.

You spun and tried to hit him when he ran away. You scoff and shook your head.

"You expect to lead with that childish behavior?" You exclaim loud enough for him to hear as he gets further away, but run after him anyway.

And for the first time, your sharp banter carried something more than rivalry—an undercurrent of respect neither of you could deny.

One evening, after a particularly heated practice, you found yourselves alone in the debate room.

"You're insufferable," you muttered, gathering your notes.

"And you're bossy," he replied, leaning against the desk, arms crossed.

You shot him a glare. "At least I know why I'm here. You're just chasing some girl."

He smirked, playful. "Maybe. Or maybe," His eyes softened for a moment. "I’m chasing the thrill of beating someone who actually challenges me."

You stared for a moment, but you masked it with a scoff. "Don’t flatter yourself."

He chuckled, low and amused. "You love this as much as I do. Admit it."

You turned away, refusing to give him the satisfaction. But deep down, you knew he was right.

You rearrange the documents with a bit more force than necessary with a scrunched up face.

He laughs and raises a brow playfully. "Oh? Is that a childish tantrum I see?"

Your face morphs into an annoyed one, smiling like you're holding back.

"Lee Heeseung,"

"Hm?"

"Clench your teeth."

"Shi—"

The tension built with every clash, every mocking remark, every challenge. You hated him, you respected him, you wanted to beat him, and you wanted him to keep coming back.

Enemies, rivals, fire and ice— but beneath it all, something dangerous was beginning to spark.

A knock and an all too familiar annoying voice interrupts your writing.

You look up and see the bane of your existence leaning on the door of your office with that same, annoying grin. "So invested you didn't even hear me knocking for four times."

You blinked and looked around your table. You didn't even notice the amount of papers scattered. "Oh, I was... preoccupied."

He snorts, "I can see that, but all this work for a competition you're supposedly confident on winning? Never expected that from the almighty debate mvp." He walks over and sits down in front of your table.

You shrug and put down your pen. "The difference between me and other champions is that I win because I'm consistent in efforts. Arrogance alone doesn't win competitions."

He whistles, raising a brow in genuine respect. "That's at least good to know considering your terrifying reputation and arrogant facade— Hey!" He dodges the paper clip holder you throw at him.

You sigh and lean back on your chair, arms crossed. "What do you want, Lee?"

He rubs the back of his neck and slides an envelope towards you.

You glared at the envelope and then at him. "If this is a bribe I swear to everything that's above—"

"No! No! It's not I promise— put the paper holder down!" He almost screams when you raise the paper holder. "Can't you open it first before assaulting me?" He sighs in exasperation.

You roll your eyes and take the envelope. "You could have said it first." You grumble while opening.

"How was I suppose to know you'd be deciding it's my time if I don't say that it's a bribe?!"

Inside the envelope were three tickets for the upcoming Basketball Competition, your University's team against another.

You take out a ticket and read the contents. "Oh? Your game?"

He relaxes on his chair and nods. "Yeah, figured you need a break, club president. Loosen up a little, bring a member or two."

"In the middle of the debate preparation?" You raise a brow, tapping your finger on your crossed arm.

"Come on, we have more than plenty of progress already, fun relieves tension stress, you know?" He presses, tapping your table to urge you even more.

You sigh and stare at the ticket. "They can come if they want to, I, however..."

He stands up and drags his chair, putting it beside yours and sitting next to you.

Your eyes widen when he suddenly leans towards your face, only an inch left between your noses.

"Hey, come on. You've been out and drowning yourself in those scripts and researches for weeks now, you don't even fight me as much anymore."

He leans an elbow on your table and rests his head on his hand, face still close in front of you. "I'll make it worth your time, I promise." He stares into your eyes with sincerity.

You stare at him for a few moments and sigh, finally relaxing and spreading down an arm beside his on the messy table, resting your head on your arm too.

You stare up at him as he stares down, meeting your eyes. "Why?"

"Why not?" He challenges, and chuckles when you shoot him a look. "Is there a reason not to invite my favorite captain?"

You snicker, "I'm telling Yeonjun that."

"He can't kick me out anyway." He shrugs. "Come on, pres, I've always thought you were a stuck-up, narcissistic, pompous bitch with an insanely high superiority complex."

"You bastard, are you insulting me?" Your eyes narrowed.

He laughs and adjusts his head's position down on his hand to get a better look on your face. "There it is, you're just human, pres. You'll always carry your wins with you, but you'll never be able to look back and have fun again if you don't do it now."

You sigh, "You're not the first person who told me to live a little, but it's not that easy for someone like me." You close your eyes and remember all the times you've tried 'having fun', it all ends with you in a desk, writing papers or being in a quiet place. "I thrive on being the best, it's not a sad thing like most people think, it's just simply my calling. I understand why people call me strict, boring, or rigid, but just as they enjoy partying or going out, I simply enjoy winning and being at the top. I can still have fun in the future, but I might never be able to have these achievements again in the real world. I want to go out there proudly showing my victories. I want people to remember me as someone great, someone to be respected as much as they fear me." You chuckle a little and open your eyes when you feel another weight pressing beside you.

Heeseung copies your position and lays his head on a spread out arm. "I get it, we all might have different goals, but we share the same mindset of doing what we want to get to that goal. I feel the same way about basketball, that's why everyone scolds me for apparently wasting my academic talent." He laughs it off. "I've always been someone carefree, and being on the court fuels the thrill. I just want fun, and if I'm good at it, why waste my time doing something I'm good at, but not what I want? I want to be myself, I've always chosen the things I want, I'm greedy like that, yeah."

You state at him, observing. "But you chose to join my team for her."

His eyes turn solemn again. "Yeah, I guess. If it wasn't already painfully obvious, I like her—ever since we were children. It was impossible not to, she was always there, and I was afraid of losing the only constant thing in my life except basketball and my friends. You're not the only one who told me it was a ridiculous decision, the boys almost had me exorcised when I told them."

You hum, "Definitely sounds like Jay, Jungwon, and Sunghoon. Jake probably told them and they went apeshit again or something."

He laughs and then stares at you, confused and a bit alarmed. "Wait, how'd you know that?"

You shrugged. "Everyone in this university has gotten infected by him somehow."

"That's true."

You both enjoy a few minutes of silence before he speaks again.

"But pres, I'll still be greedy this time and ask you again,"

You open your eyes again and gaze back at him.

"Come to my game, if not for your definition of fun, then I selfishly ask you to do it for me."

The wind blows hard from the open windows as your eyes widen at his words.

Heeseung maintains his determined and stubborn stare into your eyes. "Use these tickets and cheer for me, then maybe even have fun seeing my victories."

You stare for a few more seconds and blink, scoffing lightly, amused. "Arrogant."

His lips quirk up too. "What can I say, it's a good quality passed down by my club president."

"Arrogant and annoying."

"You've said it so many times, it doesn't really bother me anymore."

"That's even more sad."

He suddenly takes your other wrist and locks something on it.

"Don't do that so suddenly, you idiot." You hiss at the sudden movement, about to rub your wrist when you see a silver band with a red lettering engraved on it.

"L.H.S, it's yours?" You both get up from the desk, staring at the band.

He stretches his limbs. "It's an unreleased merch, supposed to be for this game, but we put the idea into the dumps, things like that are too intimate."

You hold up your wrist to your eyes, circling the band. "And yet, you gave it to me."

He stood up and walked towards the door. "Wasn't planning to, but if you're going to come for me, I think you're going to need something more than banners to be convinced to cheer me on."

He open the door and looks back at you for the last time. "I'll be waiting for you, pres." He says with something like a soft but confident smile etched on his face.

You watch him leave with a smile looking too fond for your liking. "What a smug bastard."

"UN-RI-VALLED B-O-R-D-E-R! BORDER!"

You almost regret agreeing to come here.

Sung-ho, one of the members you brought with the ticket, chuckled nervously as he sees your frowning face. "Maybe this was a bad idea afterall..."

Jinah, the other member, laughed softly and waved a hand while shaking her head. "I think it's good, the outside world will be a reminder that the president is still human and humans are naturally noisy." She says and smiles when you shoot her a look.

"My eardrums are going to burst. I've never heard this much noise in my entire life." You grumble, massaging your temple.

While you've watched and seen sports on TV, it's a huge difference being inside the stadium, especially one as loud and big as this one. The top universities are competing, naturally, they've prepared the biggest stadium they could get.

But that wasn't even the biggest problem.

The biggest problem was the whole fucking stadium was packed. It was full. No vacant seats at all. Some people were even standing.

It's not that the players were as good as professionals, but it was that the players themselves were popular.

The rivalling university's star team composed of Sehun, Jisung, Mingi, Taeyong, and Nickhun.

The rivalling university's star team composed of Sehun, Jisung, Mingi, Taemin, and Nickhun.

BORDER'S star team composed of Yeonjun, Hyunjin, Yugyeom, Yoongi, and the most annoying insect in your world, Heeseung.

The main reason the top universities are at the top is because those universities are places where skills, talents, and good looks meet. Those three qualities are the only ones you need to be successful and popular.

About 80% of the people in the stadium are all fans, ladies, gentlemen, gays, and lesbians alike. And it's killing you.

"There's so much happening, someone's screaming, someone's throwing up, someone's fainted, someone's trying to trespass into the lockers, someone's being launched in the air, someone's making a tiktok, someone's holding a huge banner, and someone's food just got slapped and now they're fighting. I'm gonna die." You almost slam your head back into the headrest.

Jinah giggles and pats your knees. "It's pre-game chaos, pres! It'll die down soon, I promise!"

With that cue, the whole stadium goes dark as the big screens hanging light up with a loud game whistle.

The stadium screams one last time before the whistle blows again and a commentator talks through the speakers.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the final game between BORDER University and VINE University—!" The host introduces sponsors and says more things that you tune out.

You think about how you got here in this damned stadium.

You almost laugh, the past you would have had you exorcised too, if you revealed that you had been swayed by— of all people, Lee Heeseung's words.

You've always tried to avoid people like him as much as possible. It's not that you think they're bad people, you simply just have different views in life, and you'd rather avoid misunderstandings and other things that might disrupt your routine.

You've spent a few days before wondering if letting someone like him in the team was bad news after all, but you're not the type to waste valuable skills either, and so he'd proven himself with the chance you gave him.

You don't regret letting him in, there's no reason to. He wasn't a liability, and he had skills. He was a good person for the team.

In your life, however, was a different story.

You don't want change. You're on this team and on this program for a reason. You've built your whole life on planned codes and written out scripts. This is exactly why you're as successful as you are now, this how you like it.

There's nothing wrong with how people like Heeseung live, they're as successful and passionate as you, but the thing is, you're not like them. You're not cut out for things like partying, athletic competitions, socializing with people you don't even like for connections, and rough sports. You like your peace. You like the quiet, you like choosing the people you interact and along with.

And Heeseung in your life, with whatever is happening and whatever is going to happen, is going to change that. All of that.

It makes you both curious and scared.

In your field, and as someone who grew up the way you did, change is something very risky. You only have two endings, you change and have better results, or you change and everything you have crumbles.

The thing about change with someone who has your ideals and deep rooted path, change is something you can just take back. You can't go back when it goes wrong just because you want to. You're going to have to live with it.

And with Lee Heeseung, if you ever choose to change with this guy and it goes wrong, it's not ever going to be easy to live with.

"—Let's welcome the players who lived until today's match, from the left side, VINE University's Green Eagles!"

The loud screams once again woke you up, as the players and coaches enter the court.

"Holy shit, they're tall." Sung-ho sweat beside you, eyes wide.

Jinah giggles. "And handsome, I wonder if they'll accept someone from ours." She wiggles her eyebrows while looking at you.

"Are you okay?" You deadpan, genuinely already tired from everything.

Their band immediately starts playing, along with their cheer squad filling the stadium with yells and jumps.

"Ah, they probably will, but I don't think someone from ours will approve." Sung-ho replies, munching on a granola bar while still staring at the other team.

You almost jump as Jinah suddenly reaches from your left to slap the boy's thigh. "Don't say that, we'll get found out!" She says, sneaking a nervous glance at you.

You narrow your eyes. "What?"

"NOTHING!" They both exclaim.

You flinched at their loudness. "Okay, okay, fine, don't shout like that." You rub your ears as the commentator's announcement catch your attention.

"Aaaaaand from the right side, BORDER University's Black Panthers!"

The screams from your side get even louder, you swear your eardrums almost go numb.

The cheer squad rushes to the center and starts their routine and yells as the team enters.

"Man, if I had the talent, I wouldn't be just sitting here right now." Sung-ho sighs and stares longingly at your school's team.

"Please don't say that in front of me." You say, almost insulted.

"Oh, sorry." He doesn't look sorry at all, and he's still staring at them.

"Oh! Oh! There he is, it's Heeseung!" Jinah holds your arm and points at him.

You unconsciously whip your head fast to get a look on him. It was easy, the seats he gave you three were on the lower boxes, enough to get a clear glimpse of the whole court.

You stare at him in his jersey, they still haven't taken off their jackets.

This isn't the first time you've seen him in his jersey, you've seen him and his team in multiple teams around the campus wearing those, it's only natural. But it's the first time you've really seen him. In a way that he's not Lee Heeseung, the school's golden boy, always the MVP, the center of gossips, surrounded by people you don't like, but in a way that he's Heeseung, your.... teammate.

When he fully enters the court, you see him turn his head almost everywhere, as if looking for someone.

"What's he doing? He looks like a lost child." Sung-ho comments, squinting his eyes.

"I think he's looking for us!" Jinah almost squeals and leans in front slightly, putting her hands over her mouth. "Heeseung! Heeseung! Mr. Lee! Over here! I'm with the President!" She screams over the people in front.

You slap your hand on your forehead. "What are you doing? Oh god." You almost want to disappear when some people turn to look at you guys.

If everyone hadn't known that he joined the debate team, this would have caused scandals.

Somehow, it miraculously reaches Heeseung's ears as he suddenly turns to look in your direction.

Your breath caught when you caught his eyes, a light shiningly passing through his eyes that stared into yours.

His lips quirked up as he sees you.

"You're here, pres." He mouths with a gentle smile, his eyes softening.

Your lips unknowingly form a smile for the first time since you came here as you rolled your eyes, raising a hand as a sign of acknowledgement.

"Don't lose, Lee." You mouth back, doing a small salute.

The shine blinds his eyes as the lights reflect on the metal band on your wrist. He's taken aback for a moment then chuckles and points to himself with a smug grin as if saying 'me? lose?'

You scoff with a smile as you once again show him his name engraved on the band on your wrist.

He mocks a bow before turning to walk properly with his team.

Sung-ho whistles. "Woah, the world really is ending." He mutters, hands getting ready to open another granola bar.

Jinah giggles and holds your hand. "President! You just caused another win for us!" She says while staring at you with shining eyes.

Your face crumples immediately. "What are you saying?" You grumble, the people around you are definitely idiots.

The game ends with Black Panthers, as expected, taking the victory.

"Oh shit, I almost died back there." Sung-ho dramatically says, holding his chest with wide eyes.

"You literally just sat there!" Jinah starts as they bicker again.

You sigh and slump over your seat as the people around you guys that haven't left are ushered to leave, skipping over the three of you.

An easy guess it was special treatment for special people.

Soon, the stadium was completely silent and empty, the teams have gone back to their lockers, it was only the three of you and the noise of your two members' bickering.

"This is exhausting." You say, rubbing your temple.

"Well, they do say experience is the best teacher." A familiar voice cuts through the silence.

You open your eyes and look over to the entrance your team came through earlier.

There he was, standing over the arch in his jersey jacket with wet hair, Lee Heeseung, in his all pretentious might.

The two give you space as you stand up from your seat and walk down the lower box, approaching the railings that separated the court and the bleachers.

You stood in front of the railings with your arms crossed. "You sure took your time."

He stands up properly from leaning on the arch and walks over to you. "The game or my shower?"

"Both. My ears are numb from all the screaming, and my eyes are half asleep from waiting and taking a nap." You shrug, arms still crossed.

"Of course they'd scream for me, I'm the star player, yeah?" He says, going for a ragebait again.

Apparently, when it comes to this bastard, your non-existent patience thins even more. "Sad to see the shower you took didn't rub the arrogance off of you." Your eyes almost twitch.

He laughs. "Nice to see the exhaustion didn't rub the grumpiness out of you." He sighs, and his eyes soften again.

You almost crumble at the sight.

"But I did good, right, pres?" He asks, and something about his eyes convinces you to be a little bit more lenient this time.

A soft smile reaches his face again when he sees your eyes mirror his.

You exhale and show him a small smile. "Yeah, you did great."

"Better than Jisung?"

You almost let out a laugh. "What?" You let out, he was ridiculous.

"I saw you staring at him earlier, he's not that good anyway." He says with a small grin, happy to see your reaction.

You scoff in disbelief and put your arms on top of the railings, leaning down at him. Despite being in the lower box, the bleachers are still higher than the court, although not much, just a little bit, enough that his shoulders can still reach railings. But he's been looking up as you've been looking down.

"He looks like my brother." You reply, staring down into his eyes.

He steps closer, his hands gripping the railing caged by your arms. "That better be the only reason, or else I'll be upset I'm not your favorite player anymore."

"You're the only player I know, but it counts."

It makes him chuckle for a bit before he sighs and rests his forehead on his hands over the railing.

"I'm tired, pres."

You exhale again, mouth unconsciously forming a softer, fonder smile. Your hand reaches for his head and strokes his hair carefully.

"Go home and rest, Heeseung."

You let your hand and the moment linger for a few minutes, you'd think he might have fallen asleep if it weren't for his controlled breathing.

A small shuffle makes you turn your head back on your two almost forgotten members. Sung-ho was already halfway up the stairs while Jinah quietly holds up her phone, signalling it's time for you to leave as per schedule.

You nod and look back at Heeseung, tapping his hair gently. "We have to get going now, we have a scheduled dry run of our team's scripts."

He slowly looks up from his hands, forehead and eyes a bit red from being half-asleep.

You touch his forehead and rub a bit on the redness, gently trying to soothe the skin. "I already cleared your part for the day, pack your things and head home."

He hums and nods towards the other two, them replying with a wave and a nod back.

You sigh with one last small smile before turning around and walking up with your members.

Heeseung waits until you get to the exit and wakes up a bit when you turn around before exiting.

"I'll be expecting you tomorrow at 3pm, Lee."

His mouth catches a tired smile when the door closes.

You stroked his hair and adjusted his call time to 3pm tomorrow so he can rest, Heeseung thinks this might be his greatest victory.

Heeseung finds himself waking up at 3pm instead of arriving in that time.

He groans and brushes his fingers on his hair. Great, you were absolutely going to be on his ass again.

"So much for finally starting to get along, Heeseung." He says to himself and rushes to the shower.

It's the first time he's had a good rest in a while. He'd been too busy overthinking, going to practice, and then keeping up with the debate scripts.

He acts too mighty in front of you and the other members to keep up, but in reality, he's been having more than a hard time. Though he did have the skills and enough academic knowledge to make it work, it's more tiring than he expected.

Truthfully, when he had just started, he had already begun rethinking his life decisions on the second page. When the realization of how he'd basically challenged you that day finally sunk in, he had no choice but to lock in and realized he absolutely had no idea how to even write a debate script, nor what to expect from you except your devil horns and crossed arms looming over him with glaring eyes.

He almost shivers in the shower again at the imagination.

Remembering how he spent days and nights watching your official debate videos on CONNECT just to know where to start contradicting your ways, he feels a bit embarrassed to be acting tough all the time, but at the same time, the thrill of having a rival who's completely and literally in another league fascinates him.

He rushes to get ready and doesn't bother fixing his hair, immediately running out of his condo and driving to BORDER.

He parks easily because hundreds of students are already heading out, it's 4:30pm. Heeseung thinks he's ready now. He runs past every student that greets him with a nod and a quick wave and skips the elevators, jogging up the stairs to get to the club room.

He's out of breath when he stands in front of the door. He tries to keep his breathing quiet because the hallways are already empty and silent. You'd probably scold him for even breathing too hard at this point.

The door opens just as he was about to knock.

Jinah blinks in surprise, holding documents to her chest. "Oh, Heeseung? We thought you weren't coming today, everyone has already left."

Heeseung rubs his neck sheepishly. "I overslept.... I'm really sorry, wasn't the mock debate—"

"We did it, Heeseung-ssi, don't worry!" Jinah exclaims with a determined smile.

"No, my work—"

Heeseung was given the title of the Leader for this competition, and since he had wanted to change the flow of the scripts, everything has to be converted to his way. Meaning, no one in the club knows how to even start from that point on, so everyone had always waited for his work to be submitted and then follow his lead with his instructions.

You had entrusted him with the biggest but most important burden, and even let him sleep in and he had the audacity to oversleep and miss it.

"How about the practice? They got mad, didn't they? I'm really sorry, I'll talk to them and present my lead right now—"

"Woah, calm down, Heeseung-ssi!" Jinah giggles and shakes her head. "There's no need for any of that. We already got approved, we proceeded with the presentation earlier." She smiles excitedly.

Heeseung tilts his head with a confused sound. "Huh?"

Jinah's smile suddenly turns softer as she sighs. "The President made the lead script and got it approved."

Heeseung's gut almost sank. Shit, have you lost your trust in him?

She shakes her head again. "Don't make that face again, the president made the script just the way you do it."

His eyes widened and his breath caught. "What? But the lead scripts are at least 6 pages minimum, wasn't the presentation 4pm? How..." He tries to process it.

Jinah beamed at him and handed him the documents she held. "To be honest, we were all surprised too, the president did all of that in under an hour."

Heeseung took the papers and scanned them one by one. They were the scripts you made, more than 8 pages, and exactly the way he writes and rebuts.

"These are... eeriely the exact same way I... that person is crazy." Heeseung laughs and holds his head, genuinely thinking everything is ridiculous. "And all in under an hour? Fuck, how is your president not dead yet?"

Jinah comically nods with an eccentric hum. "Actually, we already gave up trying to find the answer to that question. The President is naturally dead already!"

Heeseung winced and forced an awkward laugh. "That doesn't really make it better..."

Jinah's smile doesn't falter, she moves past him and gesture inside. "The President is inside, you can try to ask for more details... well, if you can." She says and hops away.

Heeseung walks inside and the closes the door despite being confused.

It's quiet. A huge difference from your usual dynamics. There is never a time where the room is quiet and both of you are inside, being at each other's nerves is already a natural occurrence.

Heeseung takes a look at the scattered papers on several messy tables. Some are crumpled, and some are crossed out. He guesses those might have been yours when you tried to re-create his style.

He grimaces again, he couldn't even imagine trying to write your way, and yet you managed with his. Your styles are polar opposites, and yet, here you both are, trying to co-exist in the same team.

His gaze wonders to your chair when the sun shines on a particular spot on your table, and there he sees you, slumped on your table, fast asleep.

He slowly blinks and his breaths unconsciously slows, as if trying to be quieter while making his way to you.

He stops right in front of the table and sits down, gazing at your sleeping face in the silence. There were a few strands of your hair on your face, he carefully pushes them back behind your ear.

Heeseung doesn't like acknowledging or talking about feelings, but he does like feeling them. He's so full of emotions, being carefree, happy, jealous, scared, smug, confident, passionate, angry, annoyed. He is someone who feels so much everyday, he lives on the feeling of thrill and excitement during his games.

And he's so, so different from you.

From you who barely feels anything, who prefers not to feel so much. Who lives on the feeling of peace and quiet, of writing, of codes and structured themes.

And somehow, both of you are drawn to each other like magnets.

Heeseung has never had any particular thought on theories and sayings like opposites attract or shit, but he can definitely say you both go well together, as funny as that might sound because of your endless bantering.

The past him would laugh in his face with Jake if he ever knew he'd be spending a lot of time talking with you, the ruthless debate team leader.

But here he was, caressing your hair while watching you sleep, feeling guilty seeing the stress and exhaustion on your undereyes.

But again, Heeseung does not like analyzing and talking about feelings, so he chooses to act on them instead.

So whatever he's feeling right now, he doesn't want to know or talk about, instead, he wants to let it flow out and wait where it takes him.

Whether it's to ruins, or to you.

After a few moments with only the sound of the ac and his breathing, you finally stir from your position as you wake.

Heeseung doesn't turn away and keeps his gaze locked to you.

You sit up and rubbed your neck, stretching your arms a bit. "Lee?" Your voice was still a bit hoarse as you see him.

"Hi, I'm here." He cracks a small smile, seeing the redness and slight red swell on your forehead from sleeping.

You groan and rest your head back on your chair. "So you finally decided to show up."

He sighs and gestures to the documents he placed on the table. "I'm sorry, I don't have any excuses, I overslept despite my alarm. It's really my fault, I should have been more responsible as team leader." He bows his head. "I was even cocky enough to challenge you, and you still had to clean up after me in the end, I didn't prove anything at all." He chuckles sadly, genuinely apologetic.

He really is very apologetic about it. You must have been pressured by the professors since they already had bad blood with him. Just like how students with different hobbies are, the professors here also don't take very kindly to students who aren't part of their programs. They were already skeptical about your decision to let him join and kept a close eye on his work, even more when you had elected him as team leader. If they found out he didn't actually make what the part today, they might have pressured you to kick him out.

"I understand if you'd want to take your position back now. I know every competition is really serious and important to you and the members. I'm not saying it's not important to me too, I worked hard for the other parts, but I also understand if you can't trust me to lead because of my irresponsibility. We can do the remaining parts your way." He says, still bowing, getting fidgety with every second of your silence.

He heard a snort, and then a small laugh, and then you were chuckling at him.

He raises his head a bit to look at you, a bit confused. "Huh?"

"Enough, raise your head and sit down properly, you moron." You shake your head and rolled your eyes with a small smile.

He sits down, hands still on his lap, looking like a kicked hamster.

"Calm down, Lee. I'm not taking away your position." You sigh and lean your hands on your desk.

"Why?"

You shrugged. "It was my choice to let you sleep in, I'm not stupid, you oversleeping after a long game was always a possibility I knew." You gestured to the scripts you made. "Though, I admit, it was hard to make it, especially on a time limit. And especially because it's not my style and I don't like it at all. But I did it, because I respect your work enough to actually read and analyze your way through the other parts you already made before."

He stays staring at you, not saying anything.

For a few minutes, you stare at each other, it was really getting awkward to you, but he seems to not feel it at all.

You sigh and lean back on your chair, crossing your legs. "Look, if you don't want to do it anymore, it's alright. I understand it's a bit harder for you because you have other trainings outside of this club. I won't hold it against you since I did accept you knowing all this."

He's still silent.

You almost give trying to get him to talk, but you still had a question you wanted an answer to. "Why?"

It seems to have finally caught his attention. "Hm?"

"Why are you still here? In the club?" You ask, looking at him in the eye.

He blinks, and then ponders, not confused— not like he didn't know the answer, but like he was thinking of how to say it.

"I like it."

It was your turn to blink. "What?"

He shrugs, "The debate, the thrill, the challenge." He says all this while staring back into your eyes.

It almost makes you uncomfortable— not him, but how it makes you feel. You're not stupid, you know what's already bubbling up inside you, and it makes you hesitate.

"Is it because of her?"

That's when his eyes turn confused. "Huh?"

He's been in your club for a month and a half now, and for a whole month, the two of you had been going back and forth. It was all about the thrill at first, there was someone who didn't bend their opinion for him, someone in the same league as him, just in a different game.

But then outside your bantering, he got to know more about you, and it somehow swayed him into telling you about himself too. And for the first time in his life, someone didn't just agree with him and enabled his bad habits, you wake him up to realities and slap him with truths, and yes, you judge him.

You keep him in check. Don't get him wrong, despite being a chaotic bastard, Yeonjun is a good captain, but he plays too much to be someone Heeseung relies on.

As much as he doesn't like it because it isn't his way, your way of discipline and structured plans are what he needs to keep himself in check, and before he even knew it, he already started seeking it.

Heeseung gives you a smile and a salute. "Don't worry, Pres, I'm here because I want to be."

And you finally smile back, because it's enough.

And then the day of the competition arrives, everyone was in a rush, everyone except you and your team— minus Heeseung.

Heeseung was a mess, bouncing his legs and looking everywhere while mumbling his scripts.

The rest of the team are slumped in their chairs, staring at him in amusement. "Stop vibrating in your chair." You scold him.

He whips his head to you. "I can't help it! What are those crowds outside? Are they crocodiles?" His eyes almost look hollow everytime he glances at the curtains.

"You have those every game, what are you on about?" Sung-ho shakes his head.

"Those people are there for the game or for us, these people are here for the mistakes or victory we'll make, it's different." Heeseung defends himself, and everyone laughs at him.

You sigh with a tired smile. He wasn't wrong, his world and yours are two different dimensions. People will still support them even if they lose, they're fans, but in your world, everyone is just waiting for either another win or a mistake that will cost you everything. It's a warzone here.

"How does one even get used to this? How do you guys survive this?" Heeseung groans and slaps his script on his forehead. "I think I'm getting social anxiety."

The competition hall was tense, the kind of silence that made every shuffle of paper sound like thunder. Heeseung sat at the lead’s chair, his fingers tapping nervously against his notes. This wasn’t the familiar roar of a basketball crowd— it was sharper, colder, every eye waiting to weigh his words.

Your hand brushed his arm, grounding him. "After this," You whispered, "we are champions."

Heeseung inhaled, steadying himself. When the moderator signaled the start, the rival team’s lead spoke first, laying out their case with practiced confidence. His childhood sweetheart followed, her tone polished, her words flowing like silk.

The debate ran and ran, every stance is answered and rebutted.

"You present your side as if it is unshakable," Heeseung steadily counters, voice calm but deliberate. "But if we examine the foundation, we see gaps. They rely on assumptions that sound convincing, but assumptions are not proof. What happens when those assumptions are tested?" He paused, letting the silence stretch. "They don’t hold."

The rival lead quickly countered, insisting their position was practical and widely accepted.

You leaned forward, sharp. "Widely accepted doesn’t mean correct. History is full of ideas embraced until someone dared to challenge them. We are challenging them now, and the cracks are showing."

The childhood sweetheart’s rebuttal was steady, but her voice was strained. "Our argument isn’t fragile— it’s grounded in what people trust."

Heeseung’s eyes flicked to her, his tone lowered, persuading. "Trust is earned through consistency and facts. But consistency requires foresight through real events. If your side cannot adapt to changing circumstances, then trust is bound to crumble. What you call reliability becomes a liability."

A ripple of reaction moved through the audience. The rival team pressed on, but each point was met with Heeseung’s calm dismantling and your sharp reinforcement. Together, your rhythm was undeniable— his persuasion pulling the judges in, your intensity keeping the rival team on edge.

By the final round, the rival team’s composure had cracked. When the scores were announced, victory was yours.

The tension broke into laughter and applause. Teammates crowded around Heeseung, clapping his back, teasing him about his nervous leg bouncing earlier.

"You were unstoppable out there!" A member grinned.

"Champion material," another chimed in. "Even the judges looked stunned," someone added.

Heeseung flushed, smiling despite himself.

You stood on his side, arms crossed. "See? Champion."

He rolled his eyes. "Don’t act like you weren’t enjoying intimidating them half to death."

"That’s my style," You shrugged. "Sharp edges. It's easy to crumble them when they start to get scared. People are easier to intimidate than you think."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "You’re insufferable, this is why they hate you."

"And you’re dramatic," You retorted, before waving a hand. "Bathroom break. Don’t let them inflate your ego too much while I’m gone."

He watches you leave as Sung-ho approaches him. "Hey,"

"Hey, what's up?" He greets back.

Sung-ho smiles tiredly, as usual. "You've gotten better."

Heeseung chuckles. "Thanks, the Pres would have kill me if I hadn't." He jokes.

Sung-ho sighs and nods. "That's true."

They stand for a moment, observing the laughter and celebrations.

"But seriously, you've gotten better. At debate, and with the President."

Heeseung looks at him, a bit confused. "What do you mean?"

Sung-ho keeps his gaze on the other members. "Honestly, at first, I also didn't want you in. I thought you were a liability, you had a style that didn't fit us, and you piss the President off and both of you always fight and throw words. There wasn't a single peaceful meeting, you both always had to say something to break a nerve."

Heeseung stays silent and listens, quietly remembering how they used to be.

"But then Jinah told me, we weren't uncomfortable because the two of you were always fighting, we were uncomfortable because it was the first time the President talked a lot. As members, we were envious." He admits, laughing a little. "We always tried to take some of the burden and change the atmosphere. We tried conversing a lot and hoped that the President would join in and talk more with us, but the Leader just let us be, only answered when we asked."

"Sounds like the pres." Heeseung chuckles.

"Yeah, it wasn't that we were annoying or whatever, but it was just the way the Leader is. Always so reserved and disciplined. Like stone. Barely talked, and the things that come out aren't exactly flattering. But then you came in and challenged the President. It was in an annoying way, but it worked. And then time passed by, before we knew it, the President talked, a lot."

"It's... a nice change." Heeseung comments, remembering how you two met. You threw insults at him like it was a job.

Sung-ho laughs again and looks at him with a smile and a raised brow. "The President isn't the only one who's changed, Heeseung."

"Hm?"

"We don't live under a rock, we've heard of you, we've seen you plenty of times. You're calm, observant. You like to party and you know many people, but you're not like wild animal like your captain. So when we saw your dynamic with our Leader, we thought we were wrong, but then we kept seeing a different you when you're not in the debate clubroom."

It makes Heeseung ponder again. Had it really been that way all this time? He'd never even noticed. The way he was with you, has always felt natural to him.

"Before, the clubroom was filled with the members' chats, but now, it's overwhelmed by you and the President, and we're your audiences." Sung-ho sighs, lighter this time. "And yeah, it's a nice change."

Heeseung hums in agreement.

The room was still buzzing when the door opened again. Conversation faltered, voices dropping into silence. Heeseung turned, and there she was— his childhood friend.

She stepped inside, her expression softer and more tired than before, no trace of rivalry in her eyes.

"I’m sorry," She says, voice steady but tinged with regret. “For the way I acted in the practice debate.” She paused, then added, "You were incredible out there. Truly. Congratulations."

Before he could respond, she closed the distance and wrapped her arms around him.

And the room went still.

And then the door opens again, you stood there, gaze locking to the girl hugging him.

There was a moment of silence before you blinked and turned away again.

"I'm going to get the rest of the documents and pass them." You quickly uttered and walked away.

It was silent.

Heeseung was frozen, gaze locked where you stood.

Until someone pried off the girl hugging him. "Hey girly, time to let go." Jinah exclaims and tugged her away from him.

Someone shoved him forward. "Hey man, take care of our Leader, alright?" Sung-ho grins and pushes him again towards the door.

It was then that Heeseung finally snaps back and smiles back. "You can count on me."

You were already frantically compiling the documents when the door opens, the person panting heavily.

"President."

You kept rummaging for the remaining files.

"Hey.."

You find a fascener.

"Leader."

The rubber band on other files snap and everything falls, you suddenly inhale sharply and clutch the table with a sharp breath.

An arm catches you. "Hey, hey... I'm here. Take a deep breath and calm down."

You do as he says and close your eyes for a second.

"Hey, pres."

You open your eyes to see him staring at you worriedly. "You look stupid." You let out a tired laugh.

He scoffs and supports you to stand up properly. "That's not a nice thing to say to someone you almost gave a heart attack."

You shake your head. "Dramatic again."

Both of you clean up the scattered files on the ground and compile them into the portfolios.

"So why are you here?" You finally ask, the question almost quiet.

"Well, you suddenly left..." He awkwardly says while rubbing his neck.

You stay quiet for a few seconds.

"You guys must have made up, right? Has she finally gone to her senses?" You laugh, but the fake feeling is obvious.

"She apologized for what happened in the practice debate." He says, staring at you, as if trying to observe you.

His gaze makes you wary and confused.

You hum and look away from his direction. "And so are you here to say your farewells?"

"Sorry?"

You tap patterns into a table. "You're here because of her, you were bound to leave because of her. Now that you've made up, you've finished your goal."

You hear a snort.

"You're stupid."

Your eyes twitched as you almost pop a nerve. "What?"

Just as you were about to turn around to reprimand him, arms caged you from behind.

Your eyes widened, genuinely taken by surprise as you held arm arm wrapped around you for support.

"I said, you're stupid, pres." You feel his breath on the side of your head.

You're still speechless, just standing there in shock.

"You still don't get it, don't you?" His arms move into a more comfortable hug. "I'm not here for anything or anyone but you."

It was so silent you could here a pin drop.

You snap back into reality a few seconds later. "You... this is not the time for pranks, Lee..." Your voice gets smaller as you speak.

He buries his face on your neck.

"I like you, Pres."

Your knees almost buckle as you inhale.

But inside your chest, something even bigger bloomed. A surge of bursting emotions suddenly flooded your senses. Like a clogged emotion waiting to be freed.

It was a warm feeling, it wasn't scary or uncomfortable like you thought.

It was everything you wanted.

Everything you unconsciously waited for.

"Heeseung, I..."

You didn't know what to say.

Years of bottling everything up, of choosing to stay away from things that aren't codes and debates, it's clogged you up.

But Heeseung is determined to have you.

"I joined because of her, but I'm staying for you."

It's pathetic, the way you're always so easily swayed by him and his words. It doesn't help that he's still hugging you like he's never letting go.

Your life was hard, you preferred it that way. But he makes everything just so easy.

"Heeseung, I like you."

You feel his smile on your neck as his hugged tightens.

"I don't know where it started, but I knew since the moment I gave you that band." The band in your wrist shines, you still wore it.

"And now, all I know is, you're mine, and I'm yours. And you're stuck with this annoying creature." He chuckles.

Before you could laugh, he suddenly spins you around and cups your cheek, bringing you in for a kiss.

It was wild or rough, like you've seen those couples in your campus.

It was light and easy. Your lips were pressed together, pressing together again every few moments, like you were savoring each moment.

You laugh a little when the kisses turn to light pecks.

"Enough, you idiot. We still have to pass those documents, remember?"

He groans and hugs you again, tucking your head under his chin. "Are you seriously still thinking of that after what just happened?"

"No, I just want to annoy you."

"Who's the pest now?"

You both laugh and lean on each other's foreheads.

"We can talk about everything else later, for now, it's just us." You brush a hair from his face, kissing his nose.

"Yeah, I'd like that, Pres."

notes: c-cut!

okay, i was supposed to post this last week because I already had more than half of the fic ready, but then heeseung's announcement came and i slightly taken aback. i honestly wasn't surprised, hee had this different vibe when it came to his songs, i knew it was gonna happen one day, i was just surprised and still sad despite knowing. i was sad for 2 days and then i started writing again but then i had uni again and things got hectic so yeah. if you guys havent seen my other posts regarding heeseung, then i'll say it again, im in no support of either the protests nor the ot6 stans. im in support of the 6 and heeseung. he wants what he wants, he decides what he decides.

next fic is going to be jungwonie's! mwa

I dont have any ill wishes or feelings for anyone or any company, I'm just happy for them.

It was a good run for Heeseung and ENHYPEN.

I do not support the protests nor the ot6 stans, I support those who support our seven without dragging anyone down.

I hope we can find in our hearts and minds to have a clear understanding of Heeseung's decision instead of making assumptions and speaking with anger and blame, to the members, to heeseung, to staffs, to other idols, to the company.

i was fine with letting you guys vent your sadness at first, but you've gotten too far and too low.

get yourselves fucking together, you can't ever take back everything you're doing and saying, especially if it ends up being heeseung's own decision. sorry will never fix it.

stop harassing other fandoms and other people for your delusions, shut the fuck up because you guys don't know anything about what's happening, no one does, and no one has the right to question heeseung's decision.

you guys are even proud that sasaengs have tried setting hybe's building on fire, where there are literal PEOPLE INSIDE. you've gone absolutely insane.

i don't know how heeseung or the other members keep their cool when they see you guys.

you are embarassing, a disgrace to their name.

be sad, but no one has the right to be angry or risk other people's sanity and life.

my take is, honestly i dont want to shift blames for his decision to leave. Heeseung is a grown man who just wants to make his music, i dont want to make his positive decision for himself a negative issue just because i want to hate the company.

despite everything that we think, i hope that we, as his fans, respect his decision and instead focus on supporting him and Enhypen instead of making it into another problematic issue.

hyung line + leader yang fic series

— wherein five love stories connect.

— college series

CONNECT : a social media platform developed by BORDER University, where the audience is the public, and the students of BORDER as the hosts and posters. anyone outside of the school may view and comment, but posting is exclusive only to the students.

ENHYPEN Masterlist

Yang Jungwon

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Lee Heeseung — Mocking Love

— finished

— summary: your definition of a peaceful, perfect college life as an IT student while being a part of your dream debate team gets interrupted as the all-time famous campus golden boy, lee heeseung, suddenly joins and challenges your ways and authority. his reason? to beat the rivaling university's team who includes his childhood sweetheart, apparently to win her heart. with both arrogant and mocking natures, what could possibly go wrong for the both of you? oh.

Park Jongseong

....loading fic

Sim Jaeyun

....loading fic

Park Sunghoon

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(ctto, pictures not mine)

i already have everything in mind, i could probably get it done in a few days if adrenaline spikes, weeks if i get busy, might do some tweaks thoo

tags: angst, bittersweet ending, figure skater reader, established relationship, strained relationship, sunghoon is kind of an idiot, random guy cameo

notes: i wanted to read an angst with a figure skater reader, but i couldnt find one so i wrote this on a whim. literally wrote this in 1 hour because of adrenaline idk

summary: in which the ghost of your love isn't enough. sunghoon learns he needs to choose you when it matters, and learns it the hard way.

Love, Unchosen.

ENHYPEN Masterlist

The rink was cold, but not colder than the gap in your chest. You had trained for months, years even, for this moment— the national team qualifiers. Your blades carved into the ice with precision, every jump and spin rehearsed until muscle memory carried you through. But when you looked up into the stands, the seat you had saved for him was empty.

Sunghoon had promised. He had promised with the kind of conviction that made you believe he would move mountains to be there. Yet, the seat remained empty, and the ache in your chest grew heavier with every jump.

After the program ended, applause filled the arena. You bowed, smiled faintly, but your heart was elsewhere. You wanted to see his face, his pride, his warmth. Instead, you saw only strangers clapping for you.

Later that night, your phone buzzed. His name lit up the screen.

A part of you didn't want to answer. Didn't want to hear his voice right now. But a part of you also still stupidly, foolishly hoped that whatever explanation he had would be enough to soothe his absence, again.

So like a foolish lover, you answered.

"Hey..." His voice came through, familiar, calm. It used to make your heart flutter, now it only made you anxious. It's one of the things that you regretted had changed.

You don't answer, couldn't, afraid your raging emotions would come blasting out.

“Love, I’m so, so, sorry. The schedule changed last minute. I couldn’t get away. How did it go?” His voice was rushed through the speaker, the familiarity of his voice now came with the familiarity of the guilt dripping from every syllable.

“It went fine.” Your voice quiet and distant, as if saying it aloud might make it true.

"Don't lie to me, you fell. How do you really feel?" Perhaps your younger self would have preened and fall in love all over again with that line. One of the things you loved about him was his empathy despite his introverted nature.

Perhaps if your relationship hadn't detoriated this low, you would have forgiven him all over again.

It's sad, really. Your love once warmed the ice surrounding the rink you both skated and jumped on, now it's just an empty shell of what once lived.

The warmth had turned into what you loved, ice. The spikes of the cold had stabbed your heart over and over until it shredded at the warm emotions you felt for him.

It wasn't as if you had fallen out of love, god, how could ever even unlove someone like that?

Your love had simply shattered into smaller, broken pieces, and picking it up hurts more than letting it be.

The rink you both once skated with warmth and laughter turned into a silent cage.

You had fallen during your final jump, your ankle twisting painfully. You had fought through the pain to finish, but the injury was real. And the absence of the one person you wanted most made it unbearable.

The doctor’s words echoed in your mind: “You’ll need surgery. Recovery will take months.”

"You already know, why ask?" You kept your responses short, biting back every word that wanted to come out of your heart. You were too tired to have a fight right now. Your mind and body are already in shambles.

"Baby, please.... I— it looked bad. Are you— is it okay? How bad is it?"

"It's fine, for now, I took painkillers. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow, I just want to rest right now." You sighed and rubbed your temples.

What a sad moment, truly.

A once looked-forward to moment of talking to each other turned to times of holding back words of sorries and blame.

"Send me your number, alright?"

"Okay, goodnight."

"Goodnight, I lo—"

A tear falls down from Sunghoon's eyes.

You sat in the sterile hospital room, staring at the white walls. Your ankle throbbed, but your heart throbbed more. Sunghoon had promised again— this time, he swore he would be there for your surgery. He couldn’t make it to the competition, but he would not miss this. He said it with urgency, with guilt laced in his voice. You believed him. You wanted to believe him again.

And you were begging god to let it be true this time. Because you don't know what you'll do if you end up in a ditch again.

The morning of the surgery, your phone buzzed with a call again.

“Love, I'm so, really, sorry again, baby, I’m stuck. The company needs me. I can’t get out. I’m so sorry. Please, trust me— I’ll make it up—"

You didn't even let him finish, you already know the end anyway.

Your lips wobbled as you wipe your face with both hands. The tears are there, but they won't fall, you wonder if you're already going numb.

As the nurses prepared you for surgery, another figure appeared— not Sunghoon, but the boy you had always noticed lingering at the rink. A fellow skater, someone who had admired you from afar, someone Sunghoon had always been jealous of since quiting skating. He wasn’t supposed to be here, but he was. He had risked his own commitments, his own competition, just to stand by your side.

“You don’t have to go through this alone.” His voice was steady, warm, a quiet anchor in the storm.

You look at him with questioning, dead eyes. “Why would you come? You had your own competition today.”

“Because you matter more.” His words were simple, but they cut deep.

And in that moment, you realized what Sunghoon’s absence truly meant. It wasn’t just about missing events. It was about choosing— choosing you when it mattered most. And he hadn’t.

When you woke after surgery, the doctor stood at your bedside, his expression heavy. Sunghoon, for the first time, was beside him, looking at you with heavy eyes.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was low, careful, “but I don't think skating is an option again. The damage is too severe. It would be too dangerous.”

Your breath caught. “No… no, you don’t understand. Skating is everything. It’s all I’ve ever known.” Your voice cracked, rising into hysteria.

The tears came fast, uncontrollable. “You’re telling me I can’t live my life anymore? That I can’t even try?” Your sobs echoed in the sterile room, raw and broken.

You thrashed against the sheets, your body trembling with grief. “No! No, please, you can’t take this from me!” Your voice was shrill, desperate, as you clawed at the blanket and tried to sit up despite the pain.

Sunghoon rushed to your side, his hands trembling as he tried to hold you down gently. “Hey, hey… stop, you’ll hurt yourself more. Please, just breathe.” His voice was desperate, pleading, as he wrapped his arms around you shoulders to keep you from straining her injured leg.

But you pushed at him weakly, your fists pounding against his chest. “Don’t touch me!” you sobbed, your voice breaking into jagged cries. “You weren’t here! You weren’t here when I needed you!”

Your punches were feeble, but each one carried the weight of betrayal. You collapsed against him, sobbing so hard your words came out in fragments. “You… couldn’t even choose me when it mattered the most…” Your voice trembled, sharp and raw, “now you chase me when there’s nothing more to chase.”

Sunghoon froze, his lips parting, but no words came. His arms loosened, his face pale with guilt.

“You already chased what you want without me.” Your tears fell freely, each syllable heavy with finality.

Your voice broke into a whisper, hoarse and trembling. “Get out, Sunghoon. Please… just get out.”

Your emotions were a storm — grief, heartbreak, betrayal — all colliding at once. He stood there, shattered, before finally leaving the room, the sound of your sobs following him down the hall.

Recovery was slow, but you weren't alone. The boy who had risked everything stayed by your side, helping her through therapy, cheering you on. He didn’t replace Sunghoon — no one could. But he was there, and that mattered.

Sunghoon tried, in his own way, to mend things. He sent messages, gifts, apologies. Sometimes you replied, sometimes you didn’t. Their love hadn’t vanished overnight, but it had fractured beyond repair.

One evening during rehab, you sat quietly, ankle wrapped, your hands resting on your lap. Sunghoon came to visit, his eyes red, his voice soft.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” he whispered, sitting beside you. His hands shook as he reached for yours. “But I think I'll start by fixing myself."

Your hands tightened, lips pursed.

"I could repeat the thousands of apologies I tell you everyday, but nothing will happen if I just end up messing up over and over because I don't know how to deal with my priorities." He presses his lips on your hand, "I never wanted go make you feel like you were competing against my career. I never wanted you to feel like I didn't want to be there for you, but I still did, and I'm a fucking asshole for that. But as selfish as it seems, I don't want to let you go like this. Not when I know I can change, I know I can give you what you need, I just need to fix myself."

He lifts his head and stares at your eyes with his glistening ones. "No words can change how I acted. It shouldn't have took this long for me to come to my senses, but I'm here to prove myself again. I’ll wait. I’ll wait until you can love me like before again.”

His tears fell, warm against your skin as he pressed his forehead into your hands. He cried calmly, quietly, as though he had finally accepted the weight of his mistakes.

Your chest tightened, torn between the lingering anger and love. You didn’t answer, but you didn’t pull your hands away either. And so you let him cry there, let him feel the grief he had caused.

Months later, when you returned to the ice— not to compete, but to glide gently, carefully— you skated with a new kind of strength. Not because you had forgotten Sunghoon, but because you had learned to stand without him.

Sunghoon watched from afar, hidden in the crowd this time. His heart ached as he saw you glide across the ice, radiant, resilient. He clapped quietly, knowing you wouldn’t see him, knowing you had moved forward with what you were handed back.

And you did. You smiled, not at him, but at yourself— at the life you had reclaimed.

Love hasn't returned, not yet. Maybe soon, maybe never, but the thing about their love was, it never really fully left.

And sometimes, that was enough.

tags: bittersweet ending, open ending, what could have been, regrets, missed chances, multo by cup of joe, friends to almost lovers

notes: i forgot i had a tumblr account, i'll be posting the rest here too oopsies

summary: multo means ghost, the song talks about being haunted by missed opportunities and chances. it can be in a form of a person or a situation.in which yang jungwon is haunted by his multo — kim sunoo. after all, jungwon was also a coward.

pasindi na ng ilaw (you touch still lingers in the dark.)

ENHYPEN MSTRLIST

dahil sa bawat tingin,

mukha mo'y nakikita

(because in every look,

i see your face)

When did it all change?

 No one had even noticed the subtle change. Not their fans, not their hyungs, not their maknae.

 But it was there.

 Jungwon had used to cling to Sunoo like a madman— not in the way Sunghoon lets the latter's name out of his mouth like a broken radio, not in the way Riki had always needed to sleep and touch Sunoo within 10 minutes of interval, not in the way Sunoo lets only Jake touch and hug him so close, not in the way Jay always feels the need to take care of him, not in the way Heeseung stares and talks to him with that softer, gentler and caring tones.

 Jungwon wasn't like them at all. He clung to his hyung like nobody could take him away.

 Jungwon would tell Sunoo to tell his other friends that he can't take their call because he was on one with him. Jungwon would take Sunoo's hand when he acts cute for their fans on live with him. Jungwon would intercept another person's hand reaching for Sunoo on a variety show. Jungwon would place his hand on Sunoo's lap under the table. Jungwon would rest his arm on the backrest of Sunoo's chair.

 He clung with a possessive streak.

 And his fox-eyed hyung would let him. Kim Sunoo has rarely denied his dongsaeng anything, that's why their maknaez have always been too comfortable around their soft hyung.

But Jungwon wasn't like Riki. Riki used to cling and hang around Sunoo a lot, like a baby chick who couldn't be without his mother. But then he turned to a coward who thought about everyone's thoughts except his own. Riki had let other people dictate his relationship with their hyung.

kahit sa'n man mapunta ay

animo mo'y kumakapit

sa'king kamay

(everywhere i go, your

shadow holds my hand)

Not that it started and ended with him though, the first one to flee was their eldest hyung, then came Riki. Jungwon swore he wasn't like them.

 Until he was.

 Ah, Yang Jungwon, you are just like them after all.

 A coward.

 Sunoo thinks maybe this is his turning point. Maybe it's really time to stop falling for people in this industry, all of them will end up the same.

And Kim Sunoo isn't for cowards. Kim Sunoo isn't for the weak.

Sunoo may had grown up soft and gentle, but he grew up knowing his worth. It's one of the perks of having a sassy older sister.

Don't be mistaken though, Sunoo isn't angry at Jungwon, not really, no. How could he ever be mad at his precious Wonnie?

Sunoo is not mad, just disappointed.

But alas, he also faults himself for expecting too much. He should have known there was no saving feelings built on this industry. They were too far gone to come back or even regret this, and so Sunoo chooses to just accept it.

ako ay dahan-dahang 

nililibing ng buhay pa

(i'm slowly getting buried alive)

Jungwon thinks his hyung is good at acting. Too good, actually. (Or maybe he just doesn't want to consider the fact that Sunoo doesn't care anymore.)

"Wait, seriously, how does he look exactly like the cat though? Daebak, that's unbelievable." Sunoo exclaims with a hand hovering over his mouth, expressing his usual dramatic reactions. His other hand had a finger pointing to the projector showing a comparison of a cat and Jungwon's face, eyes meeting the leader's with nothing but pure laughter following their topic.

Jungwon laughed with them, a hand under and behind his thigh, clenched. It wasn't usually that he loses his cool like this. He's always considered himself someone calm and collected when hard times come, much like how everyone else thought of him. Jungwon rarely acted like a normal person when faced with sad or angering situations, he preferred to be logical. The only circumstances that he'd act out of emotional consciousness was when something happened that he knew he couldn't control and change, or when he was at fault. And Yang Jungwon is Yang Jungwon, and he rarely ever makes mistakes.

It's just unfortunate that this situation is one of them.

Jungwon knows whatever he's feeling right now is out of guilt. Guilt of letting his feelings get out of hand, guilt of knowing his hyung knows what exactly is happening, guilt of starting something then suddenly pulling away, guilt of being irresponsible, guilt of hurting his hyung, guilt of hurting himself, guilt of knowing he's being a coward,

and the guilt of not knowing what to do.

One of the reasons the members chose him as a leader is because they know he'd never falter upon a problem. That he'd always know and always come up with something to solve it. But the thing is,

how could he ever tell them he didn't know how to fix this?

How could he ever tell them this was one of the few things he cannot fix?

How could he ever tell them he ruined a good relationship with Sunoo hyung?

How could he ever tell them that Sunoo hyung wouldn't even let their friendship be ruined?

He's trying, Sunoo is trying to save what they still haven't completely ruined by pretending nothing is happening. And Jungwon hates himself because somehow, it angers him more than it comforts him.

It angers him that Sunoo is so kind that he wouldn't even think about questioning Jungwon. Never asked questions, never asked for answers, never approached with the topic, never crossed boundaries.

Like a hyung taking responsibility for the mess his dongsaeng made.

Jungwon feels sick.

hindi na makalaya

(i can't be free)

"Jungwon, gwenchana? Ah, hyung, I think you splashed too much water on his face, it got into his eyes!" Sunoo laughs lively, slapping Sunghoon's arm lightly.

Jungwon blinks and notices on the water's reflection on the bowl under his face, his eyes are red.

Oh, right, they were filming a game show.

"Jay hyung, I think Jungwon needs to get a towel." Sunoo laughs again and turns to play next with Sunghoon as his opponent.

"We'll get some for all of us." He barely register's his Jay hyung's voice until he was dragged to off the set to get the towels.

Jay signals to Manager Yuki that he'll handle it and sighs before Jungwon. "Pull yourself together, man. I don't know what's with you today, but I promise the show's almost over, you know you can tell me anything, right?" 

Jungwon gulps and massages his scalp lightly, going back to reality. "I know, hyung. I'm sorry, something's just... gotten in me today. I'll pull it through, I'll be fine."

Jay's eyes soften a little more. "You don't have to be fine, you just need to hold on a little more until this ends. Sunoo already gave us an opening to wake you up a little, let's go and make it end faster." He pats Jungwon's back and heads back to the set holding drinking water, leaving the towels to Jungwon. 

He runs a hand through his hair and exhales, casually putting on a smile, showing his dimples, showing nothing is wrong, and goes back to the set holding the towels like nothing is wrong.

He made a mess, he'll deal with it later.

That night, Jungwon knocks on his hyung's door.

Sunoo opens the door and looks at him with the same, kind and fond eyes, and it makes Jungwon's heart twist even more.

But something has changed, barely noticeable. So small that Jungwon is sure he's the only one who can see it. Feel it.

dinadalaw mo'ko bawat gabi

(you visit me every night)

"Jungwonie, what are you doing here? Come in." With a laugh and a gentle smile, Sunoo lets him in the former's dim room, the only bright light coming from his monitor, a game still running.

Same old nickname. It's still like nothing has changed, like nothing happened. Same nicknames, same smiles, same eyes, same treatment,

different feeling.

And it makes Jungwon shiver. How can someone feel the same and different at the same time? So right but so wrong.

Sunoo goes to his desk to fix little trinkets that have fallen down. "It's a little messy, but I don't you'd mind." He laughs again.

Once upon a time, Kim Sunoo's laugh used to make Jungwon's heart full, and back to the present, all it does is make him uneasy. 

Ever since the day everything changed, every little thing normal to them became a ghost to Jungwon. Every nickname, smile, laugh, glance make him tremble internally. He knew what it was.

Recognition. Of what he had done to them.

He didn't know when he'd decided to change them, somehow, it just did. And now, the calm leader has fallen. It's the cost of someone like him, who braves everything like he's indestructible, who likes putting up a strong face, who cautiously structures everything so that no mistakes are made. It's funny how someone so planned and calm is toppled over by one, single mistake.

It didn't cost the world no, god, Jungwon isn't some kind of superhero. It never even affected the world, it would never.

But it costed his world.

wala mang nakikita,

haplos mo'y ramdam parin

sa dilim

(even if i can't see anything,

your caress can still be felt in the dark)

"Why?"

Sunoo blinks up from arranging his things. "Huh? Why what?" Sunoo stares at him like he doesn't have a clue at all.

It irks Jungwon even more, because maybe he wasn't pretending, maybe this what Sunoo intends to do. This is what he wants to do, to keep them intact.

"Why are you pretending like—" He cuts himself off as his chest heaves, barely. Unnoticeable by non-enhypen members, a result of years of facade practice.

Sunoo frowns. "Jungwonie—"

"Jungwon."

Sunoo sighs. "Jungwon, what is it?"

He does nothing but stare at his hyung, standing there like a statue.

"Yang Jungwon, you've been like this since the set, I'm running out of patience." Sunoo rarely looses patience, he's lived years with annoying members for goodness' sake, but Jungwon had been acting out of line since their shoot. He'd space out, get lost, stumble, there was clearly something wrong with him.

Ofcourse Sunoo knows what it is.

If it isn't the thing he was avoiding to talk about, he would've pestered their leader about it hours ago. But Sunoo thinks it's Jungwon who must decide what to do for his own peace of mind.

Sunoo already knows how this is going to end anyway.

Jungwon looks down and clenches his fist, gathering up the courage. "Hyung, why are you pretending like nothing is wrong?" He finally croaks out.

Despite everything, Sunoo smiles. If there's something about Jungwon that's different from the others, it's not being afraid to face the consequences of his actions and decisions. 

Jungwon might be a coward when it comes to him, but Jungwon will always be someone responsible through and through.

Sunoo hums and continues arranging his things. "Why do you ask a question you already know the answer to?" 

hindi na na-nanaginip

(not dreaming anymore)

The younger clenches his fist. "Because I want to hear it from you."

"For what?"

"For my own peace of mind."

"You mean to ease your own guilt?"

Jungwon's jaw clenched, he hadn't expected that kind of bluntness from his hyung, but he guessed this is what happens when you push gentle people to their limits.

Sunoo blinked and turned to him with a smile, "I'm sorry, that was a bit too forward."

"Hyung, you already know everything." Jungwon says instead, not a question, just a quiet realization.

Sunoo sighs. "Alright then, I don't think just me would work, let's run back to being forward then." He stops what he's doing and sits on his gaming chair, legs crossed, staring pointedly at the younger boy infront if him.

"Jungwon, you're wondering why I'm not mad, why I'm not confronting you, why I'm not acting different, why I'm not avoiding you, but we both know you already know the answer." Jungwon stays quiet, choosing to hear his stupidity from his hyung's mouth. "Damage Control, right? Please, it's the whole reason you ended whatever it was. To take responsibility, to be responsible, to be rational, to be practical, to be logical, to be the leader. Jungwon-ah, I'm giving you exactly what you wanted, what you need. You used to tell me you needed me to be yourself, but in reality, it's not me you need, it's self-assurance."

The younger flinches like he'd been slapped.

"Assurance that you'll always be your kind, responsible, logical, rational, accurate, never-changing self. Jungwon, you said it yourself that you don't want to change, and in exchange, no matter what happens, Jungwon, you will never change. You will never stop being someone who acts so selflessly good, saving other people from getting ruined, preaching kindness in everyone, being so empathetic, staying strong for the people around you, acting the oh-so responsible and reliable leader who doesn't care about himself as long as the others are okay." Sunoo almost runs out of breath and inhales.

Pocketz have almost always matched with everything, Jungwon thinks the tears in their eyes are the most painful ones yet.

"Yet you failed to realize you protected everyone but me. You failed to protect us. In the end, you're just like them. Yang Jungwon, you're a coward."

hindi na ma-makagising

(can't wake up)

A tear finally fell out of Jungwon's eye. He watched it hit the floor, head still down, his sight blurring. He felt like a piece of the puzzle of his guilt was finally locked in place. And his heart shattered all the same.

"I only ever wanted a place in your heart. I was content with never saying what we were, because deep down, I knew we could never do it, I know that you could never do it." A sad smile plastered itself on Sunoo's face. "Jungwon, I was willing to take anything you gave me, as long as you let me stay in your heart, whatever it took to keep the real us intact, but I guess in the end, we are still too different." He sighed and sat down on his swivel chair, fiddling with a mini figurine. "I admit, the first night when I felt you slip away, I started questioning if I was the problem. If I was the wrong one all along. You and the others all made the same decisions after all. But then I remembered I wasn't raised to doubt myself."

Every word said pushed a knife in Jungwon's heart, yet he stood there and took it, because it was the least he can do. And perhaps his hyung was right, he could never stop being the responsible person he wants to be, the proof of wanting accountability even in this situation proves it.

"Don't get me wrong, at some point I did resent all of you, in some way I still do, but how can I truly hate someone without loving them so much? And maybe I'm in this situation every time, because in every time, I loved too much, and got too little back." Sunoo eyed his leader when he flinched. "Sorry, hit too hard?" He chuckles. "I suppose that's just my truth. Despite what you all think of me, I'm not that clueless, you all think the same stupid shit of me deserving someone better, but you don't get it, do you? I never wanted someone else, I wanted you to be better, because I only wanted you."

Jungwon's knees buckled, he sits on the bed, letting his tears fall quietly with his hand on his forehead. "God...." He whispers, voice hoarse.

"Jungwon-ah, for the longest time, I just wanted someone to want me enough to be better. I just wanted someone who loved me enough to fight for me. Don't get me wrong, what I'm about to say isn't about self-pity or angst-inducing feelings."

"But the reality is, I guess I'm just not worth it enough for you guys."

pasindi na ng ilaw

(please turn on the lights)

Jungwon chokes out a sob, his body involuntarily moves and hugs Sunoo from behind in his chair.

"Nononono— Sunoo-hyung, that's not it. It's not like that at all, listen to me." Jungwon spins the chair around so that his hyung faces him and cups both his cheeks with shaking hands. And it hurts him more to see red eyes accompanying the sad smile on his face. "Listen to me, Sunoo, you're worth it. You're always worth it. You're always enough, hm? Never— those thoughts, keep them out, hm?" Like a desperate fool, Jungwon almost begs him. And his whole being shatters more when he recognizes something in the older's eyes.

Acceptance.

Jungwon sobs harder and kisses his hyung's forehead. A long, sweet, apologetic kiss.

"I'm sorry, hyung, it's all my fault. It's my fault. You said I'll never change, right? So I'll take responsibility for this one too. Blame it on me, resent me all you want, hyung. I won't complain, I won't hate you back, I would never even bring it up again if you want me to. J-just please, don't ever ask me to stop loving you." Jungwon begs again, and he will beg over and over again if it meant loving Sunoo forever.

And Sunoo's tears finally fell.

minumulto na'ko ng 

damdamin ko

(my feelings are haunting me)

Loving Yang Jungwon isn't for the weak. Loving Yang Jungwon meant enduring everything, including seeing the younger's tears. Loving him is a rollercoaster of emotions, one moment you're happy, the other everything slips away, and another seeing him breaking down like this.

But Sunoo refuses to break again. He won't. He respects himself too much. Just as there are things other people cannot sacrifice for him, this is the one thing Sunoo cannot sacrifice for anyone. Because it is the only thing he has left.

Sunoo removes his dongsaeng's hands from his cheeks and cups his right cheek back, caressing his soft, tear-stained skin. "Jungwon-ah, you need to understand this. I'm not saying you think I'm not enough because you think I'm not enough, I'm saying it's not worth it to risk for me because even if you don't, you know you'll still have me, because we are ENHYPEN. You don't think I'm not enough, you just think the consequences will be enough."

Despite being talked through to understand it, Jungwon feels the glasses of his shattered heart stab his soul.

"But Jungwon, I think I'm meant to be loved much more than that."

hindi mo ba ako lilisanin?

(will you not leave me?)

The pain in the younger's eyes almost breaks Sunoo's heart again. "Hyung, are you questioning my love for you?" He croaks out.

Sunoo smiles sadly again. "Have you given me a reason not to?"

And Jungwon swallows and closes his eyes, letting his head fall on Sunoo's lap, his hands resting on his hyung's thigh.

"I understand, Jungwon. I really do, that's why I'm willing to put everything behind. Ofcourse I'm upset, I think I always be, but I can try pushing past it for the sake of what you think is right. You've always had good intentions, you're willing to protect everyone by putting your everything on the line, even it meant us, even if it meant me, and in some way, I respect that, because it's one of the parts that I love about you, because it's a part of you. I just wish things could have been different." Sunoo cups both his cheeks and tilts his face up to make eye contact. "So I'm willing to leave everything behind to bet on what you think is for the best, so make it count, Leader-nim." 

He rests his forehead against Jungwon and closes his eyes for a moment, savoring their last chance. "I love you too, Jungwon." And for the first time, he kisses him.

A shame it also had to be the last.

hindi paba sapat pagpapahirap sa'kin?

(is making me suffer not enough?)

Jungwon tastes his own tears through the kiss. And he cries in his hyung's arms for the rest of the night.

"Hyung, I don't think I'd ever love the same way again."

hindi naba mama-mamayapa?

(will i not be in peace?)

hindi naba mama-mamayapa?

(will i not be in peace?)

And now Jungwon watches with his members as his Sunoo-hyung and Sunghoon-hyung appear romantically comedic infront of the whole world. 

It used to hurt a lot more, until he saw it over and over again that he finally felt what his hyung felt before.

Acceptance.

hindi na makalaya

(i can't be free)

He smiles because he's supposed to, he laughs because that's what he needs to do. Jungwon's story with Sunoo is the only one that's not dissected or even detected by anyone, he won't give anyone a reason to. Because it's the least he can do. Because that's what he's supposed to do.

Because it's the whole damn reason he made the decision of giving up on his heart.

Because Sunoo-hyung told him to at least make it count.

It hurts, it still hurts, but Jungwon knows the consequences of decisions. He's always mapped out the results of his actions, for the group, for his members, for his family.

So there nothing he can do but show his affections and mask it as a loving dongsaeng's care.

No one will ever know, they don't need to.

It doesn't matter, because he will never forget what was real anyway.

dinadalaw mo'ko bawat gabi

(you visit me every night)

"Our very own Bonnie and Clyde." Jungwon fuels on the jokes.

Yang Jungwon rarely regrets, but he wishes he could have done things differently. He knows he could have done things differently, but apparently, his hyung was too right after all.

Jungwon was indeed a coward.

Now that he'd older, he wishes he had done something for what they had. He wishes he could have known better, done better, planned better, been braver.

And because he will never change, his accountability comes in a form of showing his love without expecting anything in return.

As a leader, Jungwon regrets nothing.

As a lover, Jungwon will forever mourn the chances he didn't take.

wala mang nakikita,

haplos mo'y ramdam

parin sa dilim

(even if i can't feel anything,

your touch can still be felt

that is not the problem at all, the problem and the point is, engenes will tolerate and justify cyberbullying for enhypen.

This is exactly my point, everytime I try to defend those who get shamed, engenes always find a way to bring up something else.

This isn't about anything but those who are getting harassed.

Is voting so important now that other people can be disregarded?

Even enha wouldn't want to win in this way.

I hope that we stop ignoring the cyberbullying part and actually call them out instead of bringing up other topics and those real fake engenes, because it's making it sound like the ones getting bullied are nothing but shadows of those fakes.

Let's seperate those issues with this.

hot take but i said what i said.

I don't consider myself as an engene at all, ever since I've become a fan of Enhypen, I've always just called myself as an "enhypen fan" or synonyms, just not and Engene.

It's genuinely embarassing how toxic the fandom is. This isn't an attack to non-toxic engenes, but it is on whoever fits the shoe.

I recently made a picture slide on my tiktok account on how Award voting season is the most toxic season of toxic engenes, because they keep shaming, cyberbullying, and harassing other fans who didn't and can't vote for enha for their own reasons.

There are many reasons why people can't or don't vote (saying this as someone who votes once or twice per awards), some of those are not having enough storage, non-compatible devices, busy schedules, or just simply being a casual fan. There is completely nothing wrong about not voting for your idol. There is nothing wrong about having a life outside of voting or a k-pop group

"It doesn't even take a minute to vote—" that is NOT the point.

The point is it's basic human decency to respect other people and not to be rude. If they can't then they can't. If they don't want to then they don't. It is not that deep.

Calling someone a fake engene just because they didn't vote is so mold-minded.

I have been a fan of BTS, Twice, Got7 and EXO since debut, but I have never once voted for them, why? Because I never had my phone back then, I watched videos on my mom or sister's devices. Because when I got a phone, it had little storage and I could only have what I needed for school. Because I had a fun life outside of being a k-pop fan too. Votings never crossed my mind because I was with other people, and there's nothing wrong with that because ITS.NOT.THAT.DEEP.

Someone even said in my comment section that it is a fan's DUTY to vote. Honey, no it's not. Being a fan isn't something that can be measured through voting, we are all fans who love and support our idols in our own ways.

By their logic, idols aren't fans of each other even if they're friends because they don't vote for each other.

I cannot believe the amount of people who justify and tolerate shaming and harassment just for not voting. Enhypen deserves the MAMA award, but they dont deserve an award dirty with toxicity.

An award won with bullying and guilt tripping.

It seems like fandoms these days have stooped so low.

Vote if you can, vote when you can, but don't force it into others.

ENHYPEN loves the name ENGENE so much, don't soil it with your bad behvaior. Don't put shame on your idols' names, don't make a bad reputation for them.

• × Readers

— A Spark That Died (In Silence) | Angst | Park Sunghoon

— Love, Unchosen. | Angst | Park Sunghoon

• × En

— but here we are (you loved me reckless.) | Angst, No Comfort | HEESUN

most of my works on these ships are on ao3

• SERIES