everything that ever was and that ever will be

i have a weird relationship with this song.

i never got too into the group. but i clearly recall accompanying them pre debut. in fact, i remember waiting for the music video to drop in the library at my middle school.

i was in the middle of an elective subject, yearbook class to be exact. i had photoshop open and i was making a collage of photos that would later be printed in the yearbook and mass distributed to the students, i wish i knew what page it was.

safe to say i was one of the first to watch the music video, and, no shade, perhaps one of the few people that did so and still remember it ahah. (actually just went to check and i took a screenshot, because of course i did, and the mv had 36 views when i got to it) (10 days later it had 2.1M views)

apparently my bias was siwoo, i don't remember this, or him. i was only a few months into my kpop journey and was mostly focused on golden child and a.c.e. nevertheless, i had the album downloaded on my phone (thank you to the tumblr page that provided download links whose @ i dont remember, you really saved my google-play-music-using ass pre-spotify). i listened to it a lot! im actually listening to it right now as i write this and don't stop the dancing will always be that girl.

truthfully, they hold a special place in my heart and i'm not really sure why. again, i never really kept up with them after that (i remember liking wolf baby) and i couldn't tell you anything about their journey apart from how it sadly ended and how they were one of the many victims of ts ent.

but they represent something else to me. perhaps a symbol of the early start of a journey that gave me so much. after all, they were the first 'shiny new group', of which there have been hundreds since. i guess it makes sense to remember the first time you anticipate something, while having no idea what you're about to witness (if there were mv teasers i certainly did not see them).

i know one of the members is now part of one of my favourite producing groups, and made one of my favourite b-sides for my ult group. sometimes ill see that one of them is participating in a survival show. i don't know if they meet up often, but frankly i don't think i care. like i wish for most people, as long as they're happy, or on a journey towards happiness, then ill be satisfied.