"somewhere in the future ilya wakes up one day and randomly decides to get a buzzcut and then their kids can't stop touching his head cause it feels soft"

"meanwhile shane going through the 5 stages of grief over his curls"

like the way he asked "what is nur-ate-iv?" makes me think man TRULY was not catching all of the words getting tossed at him so fast the second his eyes were even a LITTLE open. like he wasn't asking "what story did you come up with?" he's asking "what word are you even saying to me right now?" man got like 0.2 seconds to be like "oh i'm awake now?" before he was getting PELTED with english because shane had a forty step plan that couldn't wait like. three more hours.

in my heart, shane sleeps like a ROCK and is also non-functional if his sleep schedule is disrupted

either ilya is completely mia because he went to lay down with whatever kiddo came to get him and then fell asleep in their bed without meaning to, or shane wakes up to little feet pushing into his kidney or a little fist tucked under his arm or a kiddo sprawled sideways over him AND ilya in a way that canNOT be comfortable

@zouisalmightie

wakes up at 6 am alone and goes to investigate where his husband ended up and finds ilya curled up on a twin bed he's taking up almost all of the real estate on, their wide-awake child reading their little picture book while using him as a backrest, and shane picks kiddo up, sends them off to the kitchen to wait for breakfast and then *gentle smooch smooch until ilya stirs without fully waking up* hey. i'm sure twisting up like a shrimp is super comfortable and good for your back, but we have a king size bed, too, in case you forgot. just a reminder that you have some options here.

And Ilya responds with a shrug and, "Maybe. Maybe I don't like to be alone with the knives too much."

And Ilya means it as a joke, Shane knows he does, but there's something hollow and scraped raw in Ilya's usual shit-eating grin that makes Shane's blood run cold. He immediately strides across the kitchen to pull Ilya into his arms. And Ilya tries to scoff at first, says that Shane's being so over-dramatic about a joke, but Shane just holds tighter, until Ilya's breathing goes funny against his chest in that way that tells him he's trying not to cry.

Shane doesn't trust himself to speak right now. The weight of what it would mean to lose this man is too much for him to talk about again, so instead he just holds him and hopes that this is enough to tell Ilya what he means. And when he eventually feels Ilya let go and sob against him, Shane guides both of them to the floor, pulls him into his arms, buries a hand in the back of his curls and just lets him cry until he's had enough.

When Ilya's tears finally stop, Shane presses a kiss to his forehead, trying to soothe down the crease that's etched between his eyebrows. As much as Ilya needed that release, Shane can see by the panic and embarrassment on his face that he needs a way back out of it now.

Shane rolls his eyes dramatically. "Fine, jesus, we'll get takeout then."