💖make me yours💖

But idk. I think first I should try to not be so useless ? Though it kinda backfires more often than not,,

I'm not sure what to think about. And the more I think about whether I have real or fake feelings for him, the more pressured I feel.

Like, I like him. but at the same time, like, what out of what I know about him is true and what's false ? I feel a bit topsy turvy or whatever.

Obviously if I were to be faking it it would be for dope. But, I just shit my pants off the stuff. though I draw and can enjoy music, it's just kinda like "wow I really am a selfish person aren't I ?" and I don't exactly know how to remedy it, though now I do, because it's just unconscious..

To make matters worse, my "paranoia" makes me not want to be near him, touch him, or believe him, which further lends itself to the idea I'm faking it.

Idk. I feel stuck in a simultaneous pushing/pulling situation. I have a hard time understanding anything he feels. and like, he's very clearly said he doesn't care ? Or at least it's easier to distance himself.

It hurts like a bitch when he does that, and it feeeeeels like some semblance of love

I don't like anything or anyone I'm dead inside