that's what she said.

it's hard not to get caught up in saying "this is what I would be doing right now" I know it makes me more sad though.

except now we’re quarantined. i’ve cancelled all my fun plans. and i’ve become really aware of my poor communication skills. in the past i’ve been really bad at keeping up with friendships and talking to people regularly. i get so sucked into life and distracted by everything. let me just say i love my friends. i think about them all the time. everyday. even before all of this stuff. but to other people that isn’t really acceptable, you have to put forth initiative all the time. my nice thoughts weren’t enough to keep a lot of people in my life consistently. even my close friends now that i’ve had for years, i feel like i’m just playing catching up. trying hard now but it feels like it’s too late. they got tired of waiting around for me.

and i’m so thankful to be quarantined w tito but i’m so FUCKING LONELY. he works all day from home and i sit around. then he gets off and plays video games or is texting his friends and i just sit there and wait for him to tell me something to make me laugh. we hang and cook and do stuff together but i can’t and dont expect him to give up all his time to make sure i’m okay. nobody is really okay rn. he knows i’m sad and lonely rn but i guess there really isn’t anything he can do for me. we’re stuck here and that’s that. im just really tired of feeling so alone. i need people to talk to everyday. thankfully my sister is lonely and bored too but there’s something really sad/pathetic feeling about your only best friends being your siblings.

just to say it's so cool being welcomed into another family. my ex didn't have a family life like that. and it’s something i’ve always craved.

im about to be 24.

I love my life. im gonna move downtown with one of my besties end of this summer. I'm in love with a man and he's the sweetest funniest most caring person and I literally ask myself every day how did I get so lucky? idk but I'm rolling with it! 10/10 recommend being with someone who makes you smile and laugh all the time.

im kinda stuck as far as school and work. I'm not doing anything rn but I'll get there.

and finally I miss my fuuuuucking friends. like my life does not feel right without Megan Taylor and Lauren in it all the time. I miss them so much some days it actually hurts. and it suuuucks. I just want them back. I was living selfishly for a while and I'm ready to go back to normal but like you also can't be MIA for months and just expect everything to be normal when you try and come back ugh.

i just spent a week in new orleans. it was insane. going to a concert on sunday. going to another one in less than two weeks. fam is coming for Thanksgiving. then going to chicago at the end of the month. November has a lot going on and i'm stoked.