★ SELFSHIP SOBBING ★

i promised i'd be back at some point and i know theres probably not actually anyone waiitng for this account to come back but i still wanted to make a post

i'm not coming back to this account for a long whilee or maybe back to the selfship community at all. not thati was important enough for anyone to care anywho but i guess this is a sort of cry for. not help but for someone to care, i guess

my best friend committed suicide recentlyy. his name was lachlan andyou probably knew him as deathdetermineslife. i was neverpopular in the selfship community bu t he made me feel welcomed and important anyway. we most definitely weren'tnew to the community but he was still an important part off that anywayy

and now hes gone and i dont know what to do withmyself.i cant do anything becauseeverything iused to do id do with him we'd do together and now hes gone and i cant do a thing

i justwante veryone to remember himthe way i did which was as an amazing and loving person with nothing but care inhis heart for everyone thoughtful and talented and so so so so so unique and one of our safe spaces the one who kept us alive himself for so longg from being lonely

i dontknow what this post is about but im not coming back anytime sooni think

anon you are so right but i have no clue how to do this for a sideblog and i REALLY don't wanna give anyone acccess to our main blog just to mod one blog

what are you talking about i haven't been posting here because i'm going through flare ups /genuine question

Well, either way, just as I was settling myself down with the latest, third f/o, my best friend has revealed that they apparently have been giving me hints (I have not noticed) and that I backstabbed them with the ship. I told them I never noticed anything?? But they don't believe me. Now I'm afraid to even mention his name.

👾🧬 Anon

Also...

As a Polyamorous selfshipper I feel that we're not often taken seriously and are sometimes seen as just "forcing our way into ships", but I seriously fell in love with these two. And if only other selfshippers would just understand!

To all you poly selfshippers... you're valid. And it sucks that we have so many haters

-💉 🐻 anon

most of my highschool years were spent surrounded by people who were queer but "not like those queers". the queer people who hated on neo/xenos, yumes, etc. so the fact that ive been selfshipping since i was, kid you not, like 10. and didnt even realize it. and my whole life ive felt like the only way i can experience romantic love is through my fictional partners/selfshipping. it... was difficult hearing these things and so its like. kinda like internalized?

so now im struggling with speaking up about my discomfort because im afraid people wont take me seriously. that goes for my fictkin identities as well. ive fully embraced neos/xenos and have no issues with it, but otherkin and selfshipping are still really new to me and ive only just come to terms with it after repressing it for so long

anyways chat cringe is dead, broadcast your love for your f/os to the world!!!!!!!!!!

-🐉🌸 Fairytail anon (if you know me from somewhere else no you dont /silly)

Scared is an understatement . Never revealing this one . . .

Is 🐥 anon taken? :>

Anywho, I remember submitting a previous response with being disgusted at myself for not being protective with my f/o. If only I could’ve foresaw myself now. I’m currently extremely protective over my f/o. I hate when people mischaracterize him, and it makes me cringe a little when I see people claim he’s their boyfriend or anything of the sort. I rarely even feel guilt for my emotions. Just pure rage at the absurdity of some people. For those still reading, I don’t torture myself with these things. I don’t engage and ignore them anyway I can, but I can’t help but scoff at their comments whenever I randomly remember them.

-

After (briefly) proofreading I realized that I basically combined two admissions into one. I don’t mind, though; I’m too lazy to make them separate anyway, haha. And thank you for this blog, mods. I feel better after venting here.

🌧️

I'm actually not uncomfortable when he's shipped with men, I actually tend to even enjoy when he's shipped with a specific male character from the same source. Idk, I'm generally selective sharing, and this is just one of my icks, I suppose. I could accept him being bi, but this ick feeling doesn't go away.

- 🌙 anon (if the emoji isn't taken)