Tired Shark

My Beast interpretation that nobody asked for

i need to rewatch marble hornets,,,,

Dave had a vision so goddamn inspired he had to recruit another, and in defiance of God and Nature, they had motherfucking made it happen.

It had to be this way, it was who he was. There were bits, and they had to be goddamn committed to.

Roxy shifted next to him, and he silently willed her to be cool. If she cracked he would never fucking forgive her. He would demand recompense, at least forty combined hours of hair petting in her lap, while he got to bitch about whatever the fuck he wanted. At least.

Dirk met them on the roof, and raised a hand in greeting. They smiled matching grins, and it put his Bro on edge, which was fair. He was sure the fucking Shining Twins routine was probably unsettling.

"Sup guys." Picture perfect nonchalance, Dave clenched his jaw. His Bro was so goddamn good, it was a timeline constant, damn him.

"Yo Dirk. We got a surprise for you." Dave smiled easily, because he wasn't a fucking slouch either.

Roxy bounced in place, but kept her mouth shut, thank fucking gog. Dirk took them both in with a serious stare, his posture shifting to one that braced for ambush. He rose to the balls of his feet, a subtle thing that most people wouldn't notice, but Dave did, 'cause he was like that. He was a motherfucking noticer.

"What kinda surprise, Bro?" Voice smooth, unbothered. "Ain't my birthday."

"What, I can't wanna do somethin' special for my favorite Bro in the whole wide world?" He exuded no tension, he was a perfectly normal person with a perfectly normal gift. "C'mere, Bro."

Dirk walked smooth as anything, and then they unleashed the horde.

Roxy tapped her temple with a finger, and dozens of miniature ponies in dozens of pastel colors galloped their way across the roof. They were no larger than a domestic cat, their hooves no wider than a penny. Neighing and nickering, multicolored manes tossing in the air, they reared back and cantered, played with each other in a swirl of colors.

Dirk sank to his knees, the fatal blow delivered on the first strike.

A creamsicle orange pony approached him first, its bright blue eyes like the sky wide as it looked at the coolest Strider. He reached out with shaking hands and gently stroked her muzzle, and earned himself some forward flicked ears and the attention of the entire herd. Soon enough Dirk was surrounded by eager ponies, and Roxy and Dave looked at each other with smug, satisfied grins.

"Us? Oh, of *course* our Dachshund sleeps inside- we just let him out in the morning and make sure he comes back for dinner. He just does his own thing, no worries."

"Um, you know it's not humane to keep a chihuahua confined to an apartment? They're dogs, they're natural predators. They need to experience hunting behaviors or they get depressed. No we don't leash ours, he absolutely hates it, we just let him come and go whenever."

Yall get how fucking stupid that sounds, right? So stop letting your goddamn cats get eaten and attacked and infected and hit by cars

A toddler would probably love full unattended access to the neighborhood too, but we don't do that either, do we

cast & crew wages: $1,200 + uber eats

fake blood (assuming generous discount on bulk purchase): $2,000,000 i am so not kidding i did the math this is nuts

And this forces you to decide whether your autonomy matters to you more than the approval of the group - while they'll still act like you're on thin ice either way, if you give in at this point they know you're theirs forever, because now they've established a foothold, you've shown a moral weakness, which they will brand you with so it can be used against you in the future ("hey RICE-addict here doesn't want help break into the city records office") to force you to double-down and isolate you further.