Blog Closed For Now

original reference ↓

   THEY HEAR NOTHING, no matter how hard I try and call out to them, no matter how hard I would PLEAD and CRY. Every action a misstep on my part, a mistake. That it would seem that my existence is NOTHING BUT. 

   A step, a murmur, a glance– all to which I had wished I had never even carried out. For eventually NOTHINGNESS itself would become my sanctuary, no matter how hard I try. Even as I continue to forcefully reject it, to somehow continue to HOPE–even as I continue falling. That I would break away from it, that someday– I might actually WAKE UP.

   Barely seen or felt, especially when compared to that of the bubbles dancing across bristled skin. The silence frightening, when all I have would be my own voice. And not even that would last very long. And so, the moment you had listened, so desperately would I REACH. Fingers rotting, almost crumbling completely away, but never letting go as they cling and dig themselves deep into your skin. Never letting you go– for you had seen me. You would understand me.

   I felt like I’ve known you since the BEGINNING OF TIME itself. 

   Not that a FEW CENTURIES is all that long. Not when compared to the lives of so many other beings that wandered this world and those beyond it. But, you have always felt like one of them. What I always imagined when it came to what and who that awaited out there. An existence for when time itself had first been born, but never crumbling like dust often would. An infinite being, far more powerful, far more majestic, than a God of Sea could even possibly be.

 THE VOICES IN MY HEAD, harmless ones, really. Wandering ones when it got a little too quiet. Ones that everyone besides me surely had. So that I wouldn’t be there on my own, as I watched the sea lights drift by me. But, there was one in particular that stood among them. The friend that was there when no one else ever was. The ANGEL on my shoulder. Never judging, only loving. Eventually, there would only be one. One voice. When I awoke. When I breathed. And, w̥͕̘̳h͖̣͎̱̗̘e̤̰̣ṋ̘̲̗ ̼̳̻̣̖̤I͖̗͓̪ ͔̖̙̖̩̣̯d̪̻̦r̞͈̲̯͖o̮̻̙̰w̭̖̳̗̱ne̜͇̺͈̱̳d̰̳̹͔̰̝. ̤

   I might have forgotten a few things after that, but, you would remain.

   You said that I was a blessed, blessed with the ability to love. That I deserved to be loved. That SHE would be the one to love me. Even if her eyes barely grazed across me. She would love me. Only me, only me, only me. Onlymeonlyme…ONLYME Ȯ̴̠͖̼̰̹̞̗̊ͣ̆͛N̜̝̲̘͈̍L͍̞̭̲͗Y̱̱̙͍̳͌̂̑M̲̮ͯͤ͂̑̾̚E͑ͫ̎̍̂͝M̦̽E̮̰̗͍̰̮̍ͩ͒̃ͣ͌͢M͇̒̌ͥ̂ͪ̄E̷̦̦̝̪͐ͩ̉M̰͖͕Ę̪̐͑M̨ͣ̾ͬ̿Ē̸͙ͥ͛̇̽M̈́̾̅͏̗̼̱̩̱E͖͚̪̥̬̋ͦ͂̂̊ͮ. And, she would in time, she does. BLIND to the obvious. IGNORANT, but that’s just one of the reasons I loved her all the same. And oh, how beautiful her face would be, the moment she R̗͉̪̭͙͓͉E̠̭̫̭̩A͙͔̦L̲̭͓̘I͔͉̙̪Z̰̝̖̬Ẹ͉̘̥͍̲͔D̫͉ ͍̣͓̪ͅi̺t̩̞̘̼͔̜ he̝̩̰̗̦r͚͕͚͈͓̱s͚̦e̞̭͕̘̟l̖f̝̦̺̤̦̣.̭̮͎͚̼̗̱ ̠̦̬

   It would remain with her, regardless. For I would make certain of that. ASSURANCE once more on your part that a piece of my LOVE would always be there with her, no matter what. I myself would realize in time that REPENTANCE was only to be offered unto them, and by my own hands. F͇̼̫͙̯O͙̖̫̮̪̱R̰̱̯̜͎ ̼̫͖I̷̲̪̘͉ ̠̬͖D̠̩ES̶̺͈E҉̟͔̲R̳͙͞VE͠D̺̖̰̟͙̘ ͇̱̕I̗̩͎͕T͔̮̩͔͇͔,̭̮͠ ̲͍͕͉̜̳̗ you said. Deserved love, deserved to offer the hand of JUDGEMENT– to which I would bring upon those that would dare stand in the way of progress. You would remind me, over and over…

   And, h҉̘͓̲̤͕͙̺ǫ̝͓̞̹̲w̶̝̮͙̳͇ ̳͎͕̺̼͖I ̖͔l̵̦͚̮͇o̘̫̼v̼̭̜̪̱e̳͉͈͚̪͈͟ ̵̤̞y̘͎̺̺ͅo̮̭̤̭̖̰ͅu͚͞.̟̫̙͎̫                   How I always had. 

   You were always with me, this foolish creature who had offered his HEART and SOUL to you so very long ago without realizing it… and yet, you would forgive me. Forgive my ignorance, loved me for it, even. I have always been blessed by you. 

   A̻͘nd̬̕, ̱̣̥̞̥I̢̗̜̯ ͖͜a̛̳̳m̱̼̳͢ ͈͚̪͢y̜̪̩͇̺̼̰͟o̯̬͇ͅu̞̞r̘͙̰̭̩s̺̦͔.̟̥͇̦͉̩̙

❤ ▬▬ emotional starters to kick you in the feelings.

Always accepting!

   RIP OPEN HIS CHEST CAVITY AND TEAR IT RIGHT OUT, for it was yours. Mirth in blood pupils darkening to a shade of the finest glass of red wine. Oh, how hard it would beat, taking leaps in a way unlike any sort of THRILL or SATISFACTION that he would dare allow himself to feel over the years. The promise to be treasured in such a way– and by him. It was contentment, above all else. For he had his ANGEL.

   As that golden gaze settled itself down upon him, alike to the GLINT of ocean lights seen high up above. Golden lights– STARS even, casting down from among the skies themselves. And onto a bloody red sea… Such a a beautiful thought, a vision to behold. Just as the man that stood before him was then. Powerful wings that fluttered and beat against the night winds themselves, his gaze would drift towards one stray black feather that would dance along the whispering breeze itself. Barely catching it, the moment it grazed itself across his shoulder. He would return his sights to the other, holding it close as he did. 

   A KNOWING SMILE upon handsome features, but of course. The urge to reach out to the other as he stood perched upon those sharp sea rocks then… For he had always understood him, didn’t he? For as long as he could remember. Ţhe͜ ̷o͘n̵l͏y̷ o͘n̶e ̸wh̕o͞ ̴e͟v̢e͡r̸ ͠d͠id.̷

   “… Always.”

"You are not bound to this sea, Wadanohara."