𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐… 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎.
pairings: rodrick heffley x fem! bandmate reader
summary: what starts as a sarcastic “kissing lesson” in rodrick’s garage turns into real flirting...
warings: teasing/flirting, kissing, tension, sweet angst, humor, stealing, fluff.
notes: was rotting in my drafts and needed majoring editing, finally finished it though so yay!! slighty proof read and lowercase intended!
wc: 2.1k
rodrick heffley had a reputation that came before he even picked up a drumstick... lazy, loud, sarcastic, and somehow always acting like nothing mattered.
which is why it was infuriating that the one thing he suddenly did take seriously was you.
“again,” he said flatly, leaning back against the garage wall. “you’re overthinking it.”
you wiped your palms on your skirt, warmth rising up your neck. “i’m not overthinking it. you’re just… not explaining it right.”
rodrick snorted. “it’s kissing. not rocket science.”
that didn’t help your nerves at all.
this whole disaster started as a joke.. someone in the band teasing that you’d never been in a real relationship, and rodrick, of all people, rolling his eyes and saying, “I could teach her in five minutes.”
you should’ve said no but.... you didn’t.
now it was you and him alone in the garage after practice, instruments still set out, the garage door slightly cracked open, and an unbearable amount of tension for something that was supposed to be “no big deal.”
“look,” he said quieter and less jokingly. “you don’t have to act like it’s some huge thing. you just… go with it.” he said, drumsticks tapping lazily against his thighs.
“go with it,” you repeated, unimpressed.
rodrick pushed off the wall and stepped closer. “yeah.” he shrugged. “stop thinking so much.”
easy for him to say...
you swallowed. “fine. show me then.”
the space between you shrank until there wasn’t much left at all, he exhaled through his nose, trying to look casual. “okay,” he muttered. “but you’re the one who asked.”
you stared up at him with wide eyes, “don’t make it weird,” he said quietly.
“you’re the one making it weird,” you scoffed, but your voice came out softer than you meant.
rodrick huffed a quiet laugh, eyes flicking to your mouth for half a second before he looked away, running a hand through his hair.
“just.... don’t freak out,” he said.
“i’m not going to freak out,” you lied immediately.
he gave you a look. “you’re literally freaking out right now.”
“i’m not.....”
“yeah, you are.”
you shut up... the garage went silent for a bit.
then rodrick lifted a hand, hesitated like he was actually thinking about it for once, and gently tilted your chin up.
“okay,” he said softer. “just… stay still.”
he leaned in until the tips of your noses brushed, teasing you. he paused there, close enough that you were breathing his air, he tilted his head just enough to find the right angle.
his lips hovered a mere millimeter from yours. "i'm waiting," he whispered, he didn't wait for you to answer before he closed the gap.
his lips moved against yours slowly, his lips were slightly chapped and he tasted like the mint gum he was chewing.
he tilted your head back just a fraction more, exposing the line of your throat and creating the perfect angle.
a small, involuntary sound left the back of your throat and the kiss deepened.
thats when he pulled back slowly, it was only a bit, like he wasn’t sure if he should’ve stopped at all and neither of you spoke.
the moment the kiss broke, you realized the minty flavor wasn’t just a lingering aftertaste. during the kiss, the gum had made its way into your mouth.
you stood there, slowly realizing you were now the one chewing the peppermint flavored gum.
rodrick blinked first, looking suddenly way less confident than he had all night. “uh.”
“yeah,” you said, voice not cooperating.
more silence, then he huffed a laugh, running a hand through his hair again. “okay. so you’re not… bad at it.”
you stared at him. “that’s your feedback?”
“What? I’m being helpful.... you did fine?!” he countered, his eyes finally flicking to yours before dropping to your mouth.
he watched you chew for a second, his brain clearly catching up to the fact that his gum was gone.
“wait,” he muttered, his brow furrowing in genuine confusion. “is that… is that my gum?”
“It’s mine now,” you managed to say, letting out a sigh.
“that’s… that’s gross,” he muttered, though the massive, lopsided grin spreading across his face suggested he thought the exact opposite. he shoved his hands into his pockets. “you’re a klepto. i just kissed a thief.”
you tilted your head, "you're the one who literally shoved it into my mouth, heffley... that’s not a theft, that’s a donation."
rodrick’s grin didn't falter, he stepped back into your space, looking down at you, "i didn't 'donate' it. it’s my favorite brand. i want it back."
You raised an eyebrow, a slow, smile spreading across your face. "you want it back? really?"
"yeah, really.." he said, eyes flicking down to your lips, before he bit his own. "i’m a very busy guy. i don't have time to go to the store and buy a whole new pack just because some girl decided to pull a heist during a lesson."
you didn't say anything and just gave him a long look, then, turned your back on him, and started walking toward the back of the garage near the stacks of old speakers.
you could hear his sneakers scuffing the concrete, following right behind you. "well? are you gonna be a coward, or are you gonna return the stolen goods?"
you reached the far wall and turned around just as he caught up, but before you could say anything, he backed you into the wall.
placing a hand against the wall right next to your ear, the other, reaching down fingers tugging the hem of your skirt softly.
"you know.... i really like this skirt on you." he leaned down, his face inches from yours, his breath warm and smelling like the mint he was demanding back.
you leaned back against the cool drywall, his hand was still resting against the wall by your head, and his fingers were still loosely hooked in the fabric of your skirt, before sliding up to your hip, holding you right where he wanted you.
you looked him straight in the eye, while you shifted the gum to the front of your mouth. a soft hiss of air could be heard as you blew a small bubble right between your faces.
rodrick’s eyes dropped to the bubble, his brow twitching in amusement.
the bubble popped, the sound was a bit loud in the quiet garage. you pulled the gum back into your mouth with a playful click of your tongue.
"thanks," you whispered, the word trailing off into a grin. "i think the flavor’s better now that it’s mine."
rodrick let out a low, disbelieving huff, "oh, you think it's yours now?" he murmured.
you slowly shook your head and before he could mutter another word about his "property," you reached up and grabbed the front of his worn out band tee, bunching the fabric in your fists.
rodrick was tall so you shifted onto your tiptoes, as you surged upward to meet him. you caught him completely off guard, your lips crashing into his in a collision that was soft and tasted entirely of peppermint.
as your lips locked, you didn't hesitate, you moved the gum back to him, the exchange unhurried.
rodrick made a low, muffled sound of surprise in the back of his throat. his other hand, which had been resting on the wall, moved to your hip too.
both hands tightening, his fingers digging into the fabric of your skirt as he hauled you flush against him to steady you on your toes. he deepened the kiss, reclaiming the gum with a low groan.
when he finally pulled back just an inch, his forehead stayed resting against yours. you were still balanced on your toes, held up entirely by the grip he had on your waist. he was breathing hard, his hair a mess, and he was slowly, victoriously chewing.
"there," you whispered, your voice shaky and breathless. "happy?"
" happiest man alive." he grin, thumb rubbing little circles on your hip.
" mmm, i bet." you laughed, you let your heels drop back to the concrete.
he stepped back, giving you a bit of breathing room, but his hands lingered on your hips until the very last second.
he walked back toward his drum kit, picking up a stray stick and twirling it between his fingers. "same time tomorrow?" he asked, trying to sound casual as he sat back down on a crate. "you know... for educational purposes."
"i'll think about it..." you mumbled and walked toward the drum kit where he had just sat down. rodrick watched you, as you stepped between his legs.
the height difference was flipped now.. for once, he was the one looking up at you, you reached out, your fingers lingering as you brushed a stray lock of hair out of his face.
you slid your hand further back, your palm cupping the nape of his neck. his skin was warm, "goodnight, heffley," you whispered, a knowing smile tugging at your lips.
before he could find his voice or grab your waist to keep you there, you leaned down and gave him one last peck on the lips.
you pulled away quickly, turning on your heels and slipping out through the small gap in the garage door before he could even blink.
behind you, the only sound was the hollow clatter of a drumstick hitting the concrete floor.















