Seersucker

“Tell me what it was like.”

It was so hard      So hard that I don’t want to talk about How hard it was.

and I had it easy

Easy in his lips In his assuring smile As he told me how I’d be okay (but I wasn’t) Expensive brunches where I was      Too scared To tell him I was scared.

That was the icing That was the cake I’d swirl it around in my mouth As I stared up at his ceiling. You’re so lucky, you’re so lucky That you have him      Especially now.

I was easy for him so he’d make it easy for me But it all turned hard

My mother didn’t raise me to walk around        in love with a cock But who could have predicted        you Or the way you split me open        Dungeness

My mother gave me teeth        filed down into pikes To guard a mouth with no       embargo But that made no difference        to you

My mother built me        a safe harbor Because men would bring        the storm. But you sailed in        with your monument

On a pulpit of pillow I examine our case. Your eyes are closed So many minutes Devoted to your sleep I read them back, six months’ worth. Playdates that conveniently matched my violence

When do I tell you The prophesies I have for your body. When do I show you my outré vision. You get hard in my hands, your honor It stands So when does your palm hit the book? Everyone I know is a ghost of an oath Rules are rules are rules

Rest up my darling. When you awake I will ask you for proof and you will show me in the only fashion you know how.