Sefina.

It’s been a while since I last posted, as I am writing this, it has been two months. I am not sure if anyone is going to see this post, but I wanted to talk about some things whether or not it gets engagement. I don’t really care for it? But at the same time, I guess I do. Oh well.

I fell out of love for all of this. When I first started this, I thought I was losing my mind, perhaps had a mental illness, and was hearing things, and it turned out my intuition was coming into fruition. I had a lot of fun helping others and didn’t even know intuition was a thing but eventually realized roughly a year into it. I remember just following what others did with the spirit guides but had no idea what it was, but then I wrote it according to what felt like me. But that fun slowly died down when my posts would be ghosted. Tumblr had said it was a tag issue and I was not shadowbanned, but then all of my posts, even my SFW ones, would get flagged as mature after I emailed them. Hmm… I slowly started to become burned out, like badly, but another part of me kept going because I really fricken loved helping others, in a way, it helped me out too. It was a beautiful hobby of mine, and I am so damn glad I enjoyed it for the time being and tried within those times. But now? I hate it. Ah… it is the truth, to be frank.. 2 months ago was my limit, it just felt like… I was helping people but was getting nothing out of it. Does that make sense?

I know that it is extremely vulnerable to give your feedback to a stranger on the internet, so I would never really get any, and if I did, it would be rare. It is not to discredit anyone, oh my gosh, no. It is just… feedback really helps you in general, you know? I also think it comes down to a lack of business too. I only had one person, and thank you to them as well, but that was that. I know that patience is very important, but when you are patient for almost 3 years, where is the ending point to it? And I know that you can manifest it, you can use subliminals, affirmations, etc., but unfortunately and weirdly? It never worked for me. I guess, thinking of it in a positive aspect, this was simply not for me, and so it never did? I don’t want to talk so much about this, one, I would feel rather awkward expressing my frustrations with something that absolutely no one is obligated to buy from me (my thoughts), and also, it feels morally wrong? But I wanted to include this in my message regardless.

Posting all of this is so scary for me, I have been upfront about vulnerability for the longest time, so I thought it would be only fair to communicate with everyone about this. I was procrastinating this for the longest time, but I decided to f it, and do it regardless of what happens. In my mind, it has to be constant hate, but I also want to believe it is not. I think this comes down to some nasty comments I have gotten over the years and the constant entitlement, but I want to be proven wrong … in a wishful thinking way.

Anyways, I don’t think I will ever come back to this account, ever post again, or even associate myself with this again? I am not in control of my future or what my future self would like to do, of course, but at the same time, I thought I would leave this up and take my leave… after all... I think this journey has ended.

Thank you for being here with me,

May we see each other again.

Sef.

The 18+ ones are there tho