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A bottle of Tequila.

A bad-bitch playlist in the background.

Truth or Dare.

What else could a girls’ night need?

Maybe some more girls to play with, but you were perfectly content with just your best friend. She was everyone you needed for a good time anyways. Had been for years. Your girl, your soulmate, in the most platonic sense.

You met at university on the third day of your third year. After placing identical coffee orders at the store next to the library, you thought meeting each other that way was a coincidence. And when you found out that both of you were going to the same concert later that night and lived mere minutes apart, coincidence turned into destiny.

She started dating your childhood best friend Chan after you had introduced them at some party, though that didn’t terminate your friendship; if anything, it deepened it even further. It wasn’t just you and her who grew closer afterwards. All three of you started hanging out more; similar interests and life paths seemingly connected you for years after graduating.

Chan, Ash, Y/N. The perfect trio. Spending so much time together, people usually mistook you for a throuple.

None of you cared about how people portrayed you. You didn’t listen to the rumours on campus depicting all three of you in sexual scenarios. Perhaps it would have been different had you ever been in serious relationships. Considering all you ever got caught up in were mindless flings or the occasional one-night stand, the strictly platonic relationship with your two best friends was the closest thing you had to a romantic bond.

“What happened to that guy from Friday? Yeonjun? You seemed to get along well enough.”

That was truly an understatement. The man in question had talked to you for no more than 5 minutes before you stuck your tongue down his throat. He was cute and kind enough. Though other than his name and the address of his apartment, where you went, once you decided a club bathroom was too shabby even for you, you knew nothing about him.

“The usual. We went to his apartment. Did it like 4 times,” you answered, rolling around on your best friend’s mattress and stuffing your mouth full of chips.

“So, I can put the best-maid outfit back on the hanger?”

You laughed at Ash’s joke, shaking your head. “Might as well burn it while you’re at it.”

“Oh, come on! You’re gonna find someone eventually.”

It wasn’t so much a question of finding someone. You had plenty of options. Although you weren’t sure if you ever wanted to have more than a few nights with anyone. It got boring too quickly for you to stick to anyone for longer than a few months. By now, you weren’t sure you’d ever find someone you could be with forever.

Monogamy? More like Nonogamy.

“Honestly, I don’t think I’m made for this one person for the rest of my life thing. If I did, I’d probably be married to San by now.”

You and San had dated for a year – needless to say, the longest relationship you ever had. A few months prior, you had decided that being tied down wouldn’t do it for either of you. You had even tried an open relationship, though he seemed to get jealous more than he saw the advantage of the whole thing. So, back to square one, it was.

“Your turn,” you announced, turning to face your friend. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

You thought for a second, taking another swig from the Tequila. You had shared about half of it, the alcohol finally taking over your mind. It made you more daring, the little amount of shyness you still felt around your best friend settling.

“You mentioned something spicy you purchased for your anniversary with Chan.” Ash nodded at your words, a smirk overtaking her face. “I dare you to show me!”

She bit her lip, embarrassed redness taking over her cheeks.

“You really want to see?”

“Come on now! I’m curious what he’s into.”

It took Ash longer than usual to get off the mattress before she stumbled to her dresser. She rummaged through the hangers, eventually pulling out a pastel pink bag. Holding it out, you took it, inspecting its content curiously.

The first item you pulled out was a white two-piece set of panties and bra, though neither of the parts was made of much fabric. The bra part was technically just two triangle-shaped cups with small cushions at the bottom, causing a push-up effect. A thick band connected the two pieces, reaching just above the belly button. Letting the panties run through your fingers, you noticed just how little material it was made of. And the lace was something else.

With wide eyes and a taunting look, you threw your best friend a smirk.

“Girl. He’s gonna go wild!”

“You think so?” Ash questioned as she pulled out the second set, turning towards her mirror and holding it to her body. It was almost an exact replica of the garments in your hands, though the colour was more of a rosé tone.

“I know so,” you assured her, watching her twirl before looking at you through the mirror.

Maybe you shouldn’t have, but with her big doe eyes staring at you, you couldn’t help imagining her wrapped in the item. Biting the inside of your cheek, you felt heat arise inside your body, soon reaching your collarbones and neck.

Before you could think again, you had already opened your mouth, “Wanna try them on?”

“Only if-” Ash turned to you, expression bright as if she had waited for you to suggest a fashion-show sorta thing, “Only if you try the other.”

You nodded with a smile, agreeing with her suggestion. “Sure, why not?”

Bottom lip wandering between her teeth, you tried ignoring the rush of blood running through your body as she pulled her shirt over her head, exposing her perfectly shaped breasts to you. It took everything in you to hide how quickly your mouth started watering. There was no doubt in your mind that her boobs would fit your hands perfectly.

Dang, that alcohol was a backstabbing bitch.

Taking off your shirt, you slid the bra over your chest, fixing it in the back with a skilled movement.

Next were the panties, both of you sliding into them simultaneously, all while watching each other out of the corner of your eyes. Knowing your best friend was as excited about it as you were, was soothing. Even if her reason was far less selfish than yours.

At least as far as you could tell.

“I think yours came with garters,” Ash suddenly remembered, scrambling through her drawer again before pulling out the two strings of fabric. She threw them at you with a chuckle, watching you as you swiftly slid them up your naked thighs. They sat slightly too tight, though you figured it was intentional, so they would stay up. “Fuck, you look amazing!”

“Ditto.”

You watched each other for a few seconds, your eyes wandering over her chest to her stomach and legs. The rosé colour of the panties and bra perfectly accentuated her skin tone and innocent face. She looked straight out of a Playboy. Or Playgirl, for that matter. Any gender would find her attractive; you were sure of it and felt it in your veins.

Ash noticed your fixed gaze, turning around with just a hint of pink on her cheeks. Your tongue clicked at that, tasting a hint of mutual arousal in the current situation. Perhaps that was more wishful thinking than reality, so you decided to test your theory.

As she watched herself in the mirror, hands wandering over her naked skin, you crawled across the mattress before taking a seat at the end of it.

“Do you remember Jisung-ie’s 21st birthday party?”

Her eyes found yours through the mirror, tongue running over her bottom lip as she nodded. “How could I forget?”

“Well, we weren’t exactly sober. Some might say we were too hammered to know what we were doing.”

“I wasn’t.” Agreeing with her, you let your gaze wander over her butt to her ponytail. She looked stunning, beautiful, and anything in between. Tasty. You quickly pushed that objectifying thought back, not letting it mess with your head too much. “Were you?”

“Not enough to not know what I was doing. Or want it, anyways.”

Silence fell upon you, covering you in a thick veil of mutual uncertainty. This wasn’t exactly how you had expected the night to progress, though you didn’t hate the excitement in your body. It was like playing with fire while surrounded by gasoline. A small move could have been enough to set the situation alight.

“Truth or dare,” Ash spoke up after a while, tip-toeing towards you as she sat onto her mattress. Mere centimetres separated you, your chest flushed by the proximity of naked skin.

“What?”

“It’s your turn. Truth or dare?”

You pondered for a second before answering, “Truth.”

The smile tucking at the corners of her mouth made your heart leave out several beats. She looked so innocent in the pink tone of her ‘clothing’, exciting you like you had barely been before.

“Who’s a better lover? Chan or me?”

Eyes widening at her question, you swallowed hard in realisation. She knew. Chan had told her, and now she knew. This revelation caused a handful of questions to arise. Like, how long had she known? Why wasn’t she jealous? And did the thought of you with her boyfriend excite her as much as it did you?

“He-” With a dry throat, you barely got a word out, your tone scratchy. You quickly grabbed the bottle, chugging down a burning mouthful as you pondered how to phrase your thoughts delicately. “He told you?”

“Nuh-uh,” she replied, leaning back against her arms. “My question first.”

You and Chan had happened years back. You were both 18, horny, and virgins long enough to finally want to get it over with. So, being best friends since kindergarten, it only made sense to do it together. Seeing as you trusted one another and had an open enough relationship to be able to talk about it. Express your thoughts and walk the other through what you liked.

It was a rather uncomfortable memory. Neither of you knew what you were doing. You had tried blowing Chan – though unsuccessfully so – as you accidentally bit him. And he had taken forever to finish you off. Not to say that you didn’t in the end. You had never regretted sleeping with him, though it had made your friendship somewhat awkward for some time.

Ash and you, that was a whole other thing. Both of you had experience, though never with another woman. It had happened at Jisung’s birthday party after everyone else had gone home. The two of you had shared a bed, or rather a couch, intoxication driving you to eventually confess to having fantasised about being with the same sex. All it took was the right person to come along to help you explore your sexuality.

Naturally, you had ended up exploring each other. And you had found so much pleasure in each other that it followed you wherever you went for months. You had been just as inexperienced as with Chan, though more realistic about your abilities.

Both memories you thought about occasionally, finding pleasure in either of them. Still, having been with no other woman since then, despite finding just as much arousal in that part of your sexuality, Ash had found her way into your inner eye many more times.

“I don’t-”

You were cut off by the beauty before you, “Yes, you do!”

“Fine,” you gave in, finger playing with the string around your thigh, “I guess being with you was somewhat more exciting. But that had nothing to do with either of you doing better. You both had convincing arguments.”

“Interesting.”

Before Ash could reply to your revelation, you spoke up again, “Your turn. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“How did Chan react? When you told him about us, I mean.”

You imagined your best guy friend to become somewhat jealous upon hearing about his best girl friend and his girlfriend having had any sexual experience with each other. Even though it had happened months before the two of them eventually got together, you imagined he would be somewhat uncomfortable with that thought. Especially since you had been very open about finding out about your bisexuality.

“He almost burst when I told him.” You nodded understandingly, seeing him having a whole tantrum. He wasn’t the easiest to anger, but this must have enraged him. “He also nutted super hard when we had sex later that day.”

Your eyes widened upon hearing those words, “He did?”

That Chan hadn’t been as mad as you had expected him to be filled you with more unanswered questions. Why didn’t he hate the thought of his girlfriend being with his best friend? Was he aroused by the two of you together? Or had his fantasy gone wild, thinking about you doing his girlfriend in front of him – possibly alongside him?

“You’re his best friend, you already had sex with him, and you’re beautiful. There’s no way he didn’t think about all of us together after I told him.” That only proved your suggestion.

“And that doesn’t make you uncomfortable?”

“Are you kidding me?” The disbelief on her face contradicted any hesitation she had felt before. As though what you had suggested was unbelievable. “I’m the first one to hop in on a potential threesome. You and Chan in one bed with me? Sounds like heaven, if you ask me.”

Your eyes met, your chest rising with every deep breath you took after her revelation.

It was pure respect for Chan stopping you from listening to your heart at that moment. And maybe some fear of what a possible night with your two best friends would do to your friendship.

You found both of them extremely hot. That wasn’t the problem. Nor was your willingness to spend a night with them. This constellation sounded like the one thing that could answer all your questions. Most importantly, your suspicion that monogamy might not be for you. The ticket out of the boredom you felt whenever you slept with someone more than a handful of times. But you also understood it could terminate your strong bond with Chan and Ash on the spot.

Your heart wanted this; it wanted the possibility of an epiphany. Disclosing if this sort of thing was endgame for you. But your brain didn’t budge, telling you it was a mistake. It told you it was wrong even when Ash leaned in, nose brushing against yours. It begged you not to connect your lips as your eyes were drawn to them.

“Say something, Y/N.”

When Ash had found the confidence to look at you this way, eyes eating you up, running down your body and back to your own, you couldn’t tell. She seemed much more reserved and nervous when you first put on that see-through set of lingerie.

Not much of that hesitation was left now.

“What about Chan?”

A smirk played on her lips as she widened the distance, grabbing her phone from behind her. You couldn’t control your gaze wandering down the length of her half-naked body, watching her spine arch as she sat back up, holding the item up.

“He’s only one call away. Probably gaming with Minho, two apartments down.”

It seemed like a blessing and a curse that Chan’s best friend lived right next door. And the thought of calling him was tempting, almost as much as the plumpness of Ash’s lips, curling up into a smirk before wandering between her teeth. Her eagerness was overwhelming, the curve of her ass begging you to grab it, that your brain malfunctioned for merely one second.

You eventually found yourself nodding at her question. Intentionally or not wasn’t a question that concerned you right now.

Her gaze left you, your eyes focused on her as she started typing before setting her phone onto the bedsheet between you. Raising her eyebrows, she nodded towards the screen as you followed her.

Ash had typed mere three words, check marks turning blue after a few seconds, confirming that Chan had read them.

Whatever his thoughts were, there was no turning back now. Either he approved, or he didn’t. And all that because of three words that sounded almost too easy.

10:23 PM: Eating out Y/N – Ash

So easy, but also easily explainable if Chan didn’t like the thought. Ash could tell him she had missed one word, and the text would be soon forgotten. Eating out with Y/N. Easy enough.

Nevertheless, the words excited you to the point you swore your heart almost gave out. Just the thought of Ash’s lips on you sent your heart into overdrive, your breathing shallow as you awaited an answer from Chan.

Your eyes fixed on the phone as though you’d miss his answer if you blinked. You didn’t want to miss the reply for anything, the sound coming from the front door only a minute after she had sent the text making both your heads snap towards the bedroom door.

Mere seconds later, the door was thrown open. An out of breath Chan searched the room and found the two of you sitting in the bed. The same bed they had shared many nights before.

When he scanned the two of you, the position you were in and the clothes you wore, it finally dawned on you that this scene was less simply explainable. You were wearing lingerie, almost naked, and you felt the tension; In the literal and the metaphorical sense.

Chan took a few more moments to speak up, throat dry from… anticipation. Maybe? Hopefully?

“You- Wow!”

Looking between the two of you, Chan became aware of how close you were seated to each other. His gaze lingered on your exposed chest for a few seconds before finally being dragged away and towards his girlfriend, swallowing.

“You texted me.” Finally calming down as he understood, nothing had happened yet, he searched her frame for an answer. For all he knew, Ash could have mistakenly written him. Though, from his expression, you knew he wished for something else. That she meant it. Wanted it.

“I did?” Ash played innocent, hand coming to your thigh, running over the skin and causing goosebumps as you shivered. “What about?”

“You were-” Cutting himself off, Chan looked at you. “I didn’t misread that, did I?”

He took his phone out of his pocket, checking the text she had sent him. A grin spread on her lips as she watched his confused face, searching hers for an answer.

“Oh, yes. I guess I did write you.” Fingers running further up your thighs in deep thought, you bit your tongue not to moan at the mere touch. It felt like your skin was on fire, burning your body and the moment into your brain. “Y/N and I were talking. Do you remember what happened at Jisung’s 21st birthday party? When Y/N and I slept on his pull-out?”

“I- I do,” Chan answered quicker than you had expected, revealing that he had thought of the same thing within the past few minutes.

“And remember when I told you about it? How you almost busted at the mere thought?” Swallowing hard, Chan looked at you for a second, debating whether to answer before doing so anyway. This moment was too tempting for him to deny the embarrassing effect your one night with Ash had on him. He was only a man, nodding once he figured that agreeing would give him more than it would take. “Do you want that fantasy to become reality?”

“I- I-” You had never seen Chan stutter so much in the almost 20 years you knew him. He must have really been anxious about this. Or for this to happen, maybe? “Y/N?”

“Oh, Y/N’s perfectly fine with it. Aren’t you, baby?”

Catching Ash’s sight, you nodded, taking a deep breath when she leaned in, eyes on your lips before she finally closed the space after what had felt like hours. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of her lips against your own, her sweet taste mixed with the Tequila as intoxicating as can be.

As she moved against you, her hand came to your neck to keep you steady, your heart palpitating out of rhythm. She must have felt it at your neck, the vein pounding against her fingers, so she drew away, throwing you a questioning look. You understood she was asking you if you were still with her, so you became active and closed the gap again. Your own hand met her shoulder as you pulled her towards you.

The moan from Chan took you out of the moment, a stupid grin on both your faces as you looked over at him. It was unmistakable that he didn’t know what to do; what his role in this scene was. So you moved apart, patting the space between you.

With both of you still clad in that dang lingerie, the whole scene could have been straight out of a porno movie. One of the good ones, with years’ worth of plot.

Chan closed the door behind himself, muscle memory taking over as his brain couldn’t be trusted. He took the spot between you, hands unsteady as he looked from one side to the other.

“Babe?”

“Huh?” Ash chuckled at his intense reaction speed, hand coming to his cheek to get him to focus. Chan was on edge, tipping over any second if one of you were to make the wrong – or in this case, right – move. So much was clear.

“Relax, okay?” He nodded, though from his fingers anxiously fiddling in his lap, you knew he’d need more confirmation than that.

Ash seemed to get Chan just as well, leaning in and planting her lips onto his. You noticed Chan relaxing on impact, hands now stilling their erratic movement.

You watched them kiss for a few seconds, your hand coming to his thigh as Ash dragged it there. She wanted you to join the fun, guiding your fingers along the thick muscle. Her action was met with gratitude, as you otherwise wouldn’t have participated at all.

After a few moments of intimacy between the couple, Ash pulled Chan off her, tilting his head towards you by his chin. He took the hint, inching in closer, his eyes drawn to your lips before they finally tumbled upon meeting. You did, too, a breathy sigh leaving your mouth as though his kiss breathed energy back into you.

Ash’s grip on your hand didn’t falter as she interlaced your fingers with hers, running higher up his leg. Soon enough, your hands met the visible tent in his sweatpants, softly running over the length of it. Memories of his size came flooding back as you touched him, having caused you some discomfort the first time you had been with him. Been with anyone.

Years ago, when you had lost your virginity to the same man you were presently palming, he had been so careful not to hurt you. Today, you knew you could take him better. You had been with many men since then, your body learning to adjust to someone his size. Excitement filled you as you imagined showing him how much you had learned over the years.

You noticed Ash peppering Chan’s neck with kisses while guiding your hands around him, setting the pace and pressure. He seemed to like it, moaning and whimpering into your mouth whenever you stroked him a little harsher. It didn’t surprise you to learn that he liked it rough.

When he pulled away from you after what had felt like minutes, his cheeks were tinted an innocent pink, a smile spreading over his face to his eyes.

“Can you-” Sobbing at one particularly harsh stroke, he collected himself before looking back at his girlfriend, “Can you kiss again?”

Smiling at you, Ash’s second hand came to your chin, pulling you in. Your lips met right before his eyes, a whine escaping him at the combined stimulation from his view and your hands on him. You couldn’t help thinking this must have been even better than any of his fantasies. For you, it was anyways.

Ash nibbled at your bottom lip, pulling on it every few seconds to catch your gaze with a wink. She was so enticing – almost toxically so – you could barely take your eyes off her. If Chan hadn’t been here, capturing just as much of your attention, you would have been all over her already.

When she threw a side-eyed look at her boyfriend, your eyes finally left her, a smirk dancing over her features as your tangled hands ran up his body, pushing him to lay flat on the mattress.

“Y/N, baby, why don’t you give him a little show? Show him some of what you learned since the last time.”

Call it telepathy, but you instantly understood what she was referring to. Chan must have told her about the awkward experience when you had tried sucking him off all those years ago. Being best friends for years, she had also heard how well those particular skills had developed. Not that you had a reputation for giving good blowjobs, but you had certainly been given your fair share of compliments over the years. You didn’t know when, but you must have let that information slip to her at some point.

Dragging Chan’s shirt over his head, Ash exposed his chest to you, all your movements stopping in their tracks.

Now, he had been well-built back then. He had always had a swimmer’s body through and through. It startled you at 18 and did the same to you today.

Your eyes followed Ash’s fingers as she let them glide down his shoulders, between his pectoral muscles and down to his abs. That dang six-pack – or rather eight-pack – he barely let show under other circumstances. On the occasional pool day, sure. But you had always been around other people then. You couldn’t have possibly admired his body for what it was then.

Chan’s body was handcrafted by the Gods and hours at the gym. A dangerous combination you hadn’t seen elsewhere. Chan and Ash together were a true sight to see, eyes locking as her fingers raked over his naked skin. And you were the one at the receiving end of it. Whatever reason that was for.

It took you a moment to comprehend that – yes, this was really happening – for you to travel back to the present. Getting off the bed and settling between Chan’s thighs, your fingers experimentally circled his abs, memorising their respective shape and location for future reference. Chan gasped at the coldness of your fingers, eyes finding yours once they ran further down, teasing the hem of his sweatpants. Lust filled her every fibre as you didn’t mind Ash following your every move. If anything, it spurred you on further. You now had an audience other than Chan, who was at the receiving end of your attack.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like that, baby.”

Ash’s words made you smile, pride filling your motions. If you wanted to show them your abilities before, you were dying to have them watch you now.

Delicately, you dragged down his sweats with help from the man himself, taking your sweet time in undressing him.

Even through the fabric of his boxer briefs, Chan looked painfully hard. Keeping your eyes locked with his, you put your lips against his right thigh, agonisingly slowly dragging them further up. You left a wet trail of saliva on his skin, hands following your mouth until you reached his briefs.

“Fuck me,” Chan groaned, throwing his head back against his girlfriend when you licked a stripe up his length over the fabric. Ash pulled his head up, positioning it against her chest.

“Keep your eyes on her, babe. She’s doing you a favour here. Might as well honour her properly.”

You ignored her words meant for someone else, instead letting your fingers reach under the last piece of Chan’s clothing. Giving him an innocent smile with your lip wandering between your teeth, you finally rid him of the constraint, cock slapping against his stomach once freed.

It was right then that this moment finally reached your brain. You finally understood what was happening. You were having sex. Your two best friends and you. And if you weren’t doing it now, you were about to. So close, you could almost taste him. Taste her. Their combined atmosphere.

The air was thick, like a veil hanging over your mind. It was hot, too. So hot your bodies were coated in sweat despite having done almost nothing. Nothing but kiss them. Your best friends. The two people that should have been the most platonic of relationships you had.

Still, you were kissing them like you wanted them. Needed them. And you did.

This moment would go down in your personal history – the story of your life, if you will – as your sexual awakening.

The first taste of Chan made you moan. An overall saltiness covered his shaft, his pre-cum coating him and his boxer briefs. Chan groaned when you touched him, finally touched him, where he had needed you most. The first true relief he got from his overall arousal made him long for more of both of you.

Ash was right there with you, hands on him, mouth sucking on his neck while her eyes were focused on you. Her gaze burned into the top of your head as you licked all over him, from base to tip, coaxing him to tell you what he wanted. You needed to hear it from him, her, anyone, really. Ash seemed to understand your longing for approval.

“Tell her what you want her to do, babe.”

Honestly, in the one or two times your mind had wandered to this moment – imagining a dimension in which you were with them rather than by their side – you hadn’t imagined Ash to take over control as she did now.

She wasn’t the most open person, her upbringing of always having to behave prim and proper sending a tint to her cheeks every time someone even mentioned something slightly raunchy. The woman watching you sucking her boyfriend off, urging him to talk to you while you did, was someone else. She seemed like a different person, curiosity getting the best of her.

“Please, Y/N.” Chan was begging, digits coming to your cheeks as he ran his thumb across your jaw. “Make me feel good. Take me in. All of me.”

And all of him, you took.

After years of training, blowing almost every man you had been with, you knew just what to do to make him see stars. You moved slowly but purposefully, coaxing him to his release as though this was a competition. As though you wanted to break some record.

“Fuck-” Chan cursed, hands tangling in your hair as he guided you around his length. As much as you let him, that was.

You wouldn’t let him take over completely, some of the control staying on your side as you didn’t let it go. Didn’t want to let it go.

You wanted him to go crazy, and giving him control would stop you from providing one crucial part of the experience. The suspense. The not knowing where you’d go next. When you’d wrap lips around his head, sucking. Or when you’d deep throat him, hollowing your cheeks around him.

You did all that but tried surprising him with a rhythm. A pattern, driven by no more than your imagination. As much a surprise to you as to him. Whatever felt right at that moment, always overwatched by his girlfriend, providing hints on what to do, guiding you through some of it as she knew what he liked. How to make him feral.

You had no doubt that she knew what he liked and how he preferred it. Her words stirred you on – harder, kitten licks, take more, less – having you obey wherever she led you. Like she was in control over your mind even more than you were. And that, she was. She was in control and dominant, but not exclusively so. That became very clear, her mind slipping when Chan put his hand around her neck, squeezing some while running his lips over Ash’s neck.

This whole thing seemed crazy, straight out of a porno. You sucking off Chan while he peppered his girlfriend with sexual advances. Some might have become jealous of how she and not you were on the receiving end of his touches. She deserved to participate every bit as much as you. Maybe even more, for letting you, another woman, pleasure her boyfriend. Her best friend, but a woman, nonetheless.

Swallowing around Chan’s length, you felt his thighs tense below your digits. He was close, so much was evident. Though Ash seemed to have other plans than letting you finish him off.

She pulled you off him and towards herself, knees leaving the ground as your lips met in a heated kiss. This kiss, other than the ones before, was filled with less caution. She wanted you, wanted to feel you, cherish you, have as much of you as Chan had.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Whoever Chan was referring to, it didn’t matter. It was probably the two of you together, making out heatedly above him, giving him a sight for months.

Ash sucked on your lip, almost drawing blood from how needy she was for you.

“Let me taste you.” As though you had read her mind.

She guided you onto the bed, laying you beside her boyfriend, higher up towards the headboard. Chan was never far, following you like a lost puppy, hoping for a front-row seat to the show.

Smiling at you, Ash crawled over your body, towering above you as though she was so much bigger than you. Right now, she seemed to be anyways. She leaned in to peck your lips, slowly trailing her path down your neck. Kissing over the junction of neck and face, you rolled your head back against the mattress, eyes closed at her overpowering movements.

Your skin was on fire, burning to your flesh wherever she touched you. Her lips were on your chest, hands on your waist, and one of her legs between yours, so your whole body was going up in flames below her. When she slipped further down your frame, lips suddenly circling to your hipbones, you thought your soul evaded you.

Slowly dipping her hands below your garters, letting them snap against your skin in short, piercing stings, you noticed Chan watching the scene before him. You grabbed his hands, bringing them to your upper body, for the first time touching him without Ash’s supervision.

You felt Ash’s tongue over your navel as you guided Chan’s hands to cup your breasts. He seemed unsure, gaze searching for Ash to get her approval, though she was occupied otherwise. So, he merely laid himself beside you, on his side, for better access to you. With one hand still on your breast, fumbling with the straps, he connected his mouth with yours.

You hummed in his mouth as the combined touches quickly drove you crazy. When Ash pulled your – or rather her – panties to the side, licking a slow stripe up your folds, you stopped in your tracks.

Most of your previous partners had known how to go down on you well enough. They had understood the main anatomy of it all. Where to lick, what to prod. Still, none of them had ever understood it as well as Ash seemed to. The last, previously only time you had been together, you had gone down on her. Had you known just how skilled she was at it, you would have asked for retaliation then and there.

With Chan’s fingers circling your nipples and Ash’s mouth on your clit, sucking lightly before kitten-licking over it, you would not last long. So much was clear. It also didn’t help that they communicated with each other, driving you to insanity in unison. They synched their every movement, providing you with so much constant and unfaltering pleasure that all you could do was lay there and let them.

Your body was trembling already, kissing Chan becoming more of an inactive action. How could you have properly kissed him back when they were working wonders on you?

When Ash’s fingers came into play, knocking against your entrance, it became too much.

You threw your head against the mattress, a low growl escaping your lips as Chan moved in, kissing over your chest. His lips engulfed your nipples in a warm, wet hug as his girlfriend continued to lick you in a perfect rhythm, your heart palpitations adapting instantly.

“Fuck!” Seemingly, the only word that was left in your foggy brain.

Usually, you directed your partners, telling them what to do and how to better their performance. None of it was necessary, as both of them just knew. Knew what you liked. Knew how you liked it. Knew your body like their own. That’s what it felt like, at least. Like all of you were on the same page, written in the very same font.

Soon enough, Ash found your spot, rubbing her digits against it to the beat of your heart. It filled you with a need for release. You had been trying to hold back on moaning, unsure how much their walls could take before they’d get complaints. Though, with the amount of pleasure coursing through you, you couldn’t control your sounds anymore.

Groans tumbled over your lips, muffled only by Chan’s mouth on yours.

“You sound so good. Music to my ears.”

His confession somewhat went by you as too much else was on your mind to focus on and properly take it in.

“I think she’s close,” Chan warned his girlfriend, who gave your clit one last kiss before withdrawing. Your mind cleared of the fog, eyes hazily opening while looking down at your two partners. “Welcome back, baby.”

You smiled at Chan and the nickname they had chosen for you, running your hands over your face as you tried to regain composure.

“This is a good angle on you.” Ash grinned up at you, chin moist from your arousal, so she wiped it off.

“I would like to note that this is better than any of my dreams.” Another confession from Chan you didn’t know how to react to, though you didn’t need to act on it. Ash took over, pushing her boyfriend onto his back to lie flat against the mattress.

“Are you ready for the grand finale?”

Whatever she had in mind, her expression told you it would be good.

“Y/N, why don’t you take a seat?” Nodding towards Chan, you quickly understood her intention, cheeks reddening as you crawled over to him. Ash gave you a hand as you positioned yourself over Chan’s length, under constant supervision of the man himself, before guiding you onto him.

It took you a couple of seconds to fit all of him, carefully moving as you adapted to his size. It had been a while since you had anyone close to it, so they patiently waited for you to be comfortable.

Pressing a kiss to your lips, Ash pulled you off once you gave her the go, pushing Chan back into you until he bottomed out. He hit spots inside you no one had ever done before; it almost felt like he was right there, tip kissing your cervix. Without the comforting kisses from Ash, you probably would have given up already.

After about a minute of riding him, slow and steadily guided by Ash’s delicate fingers, you had gotten entirely used to Chan. Smiling warmly at you, Ash gave you one last kiss before letting go of you.

She tongued over Chan’s abs, licking her way up his beautiful body. You could tell from the way his Adam’s apple bobbed that he was overwhelmed by the joined stimulation from the two of you. Somehow, knowing he wasn’t doing any better than you made you feel better about yourself. It reminded you that all of you were in this together; them just as much virgins to this as you.

As you slowly bobbed on Chan, steadying yourself by his hips, Ash finally landed at his face, planting a heated kiss onto his lips, their tongues slipping into each other’s mouths. The sinfulness of it all urged you to move faster as you leaned forward to feel his pelvis rub against your clit.

You couldn’t believe there could be more stimulation for your arousal, though you figured you were wrong once Ash took a seat on Chan’s face. Her excited gaze met yours as she sank onto his waiting tongue, moaning when he moved it against her. Holding herself up on his torso, Ash was close enough to kiss you, moaning into your mouth when her boyfriend’s hands wrapped around her thighs, pulling her closer. How he wasn’t suffocating was a mystery.

You brought one hand to Ash’s breasts, pulling the cups of her bra down and playing with them as she was brought closer and closer to her release. She seemed to close in on her impending orgasm unbelievably fast, considering she hadn’t been as involved in your ministrations previously. Until now, she had taken a guiding role, comparable to the narrator of your favourite erotic novel. No doubt, the dominance slipped out of her grip as she was stimulated beyond belief by hands and tongues all over her body.

Wriggling her hand from underneath her, she let it wander up your arm towards your neck, pulling you closer to kiss you deeper.

The occasional moan escaped her plump lips as you tasted her strawberry lipgloss mixed with your juices. When Chan’s tongue hit a particular speed, lapping at his girlfriend like a man starved, Ash lost her cool, throwing her head back into her neck. You seized the opportunity to connect your mouth to her neck, sucking at the tender flesh.

“Fuck…”

Now it was her turn to be overwhelmed, her body spasming under the touch of your hands and lips. Chan didn’t let go yet, forcing her to remain on his greedy tongue as she was the first to tip over the edge. Overstimulation set in soon enough, her pleading eyes rolling back as you kissed her, swallowing her moans as best as you could.

Her eyes turned black as she nearly choked on the pain and pleasure, the view threatening to burn into your brain for eternity. Never had you seen someone so sinister, no porn actress or actor able to fake an orgasm so mesmerising. Your movements slowed down to take in hers, both your hands coming to her chest to twist at her nipples, bare breasts laying heavy in your hands. That Chan hadn’t stilled his ministrations yet told you that there was some understanding between them; overstimulation an usual part of their sex life.

You were more than willing to participate, leaning forward to take one of her nipples between your lips. You rolled it softly, tongue prodding at its stiffness before giving the other the same attention.

Ash, still trembling on top of Chan’s tongue, kept her hands at the back of your neck, drawing you in closer. It was then that you understood how Chan could handle such little airflow. Having a beauty just like Ash as the reason for your lack of oxygen seemed like the best way to go out; death was more than acceptable if it was to cause her pleasure. Her wanting and longing for constant pressure on all her vital body parts.

When a second orgasm hit her not soon after the first one, you weren’t surprised. It had been inevitable with how well you cared for her, touching her most delicate spots everywhere, all at once. A whine escaped her as the overstimulation eventually became too much, pulling you off her chest and herself off her boyfriend.

Looking down at Chan, you shared a smile of pride, patiently waiting for Ash to come down at her own speed.

“Fuck. Me.”

The words out of your best friend’s mouth made both you and Chan chuckle.

“You want to go again? Fine by me.”

“God, no.” Ash quickly answered, swatting Chan’s hands away when he tried pulling her back down. She rolled off him easily, taking another few seconds to catch her breath as her eyes met yours. “Let’s focus on you again.”

Ash noticed you had stopped moving, still seated on Chan’s lap and your hands running silently over his abs. Moving her boyfriend back a few centimetres, he finally reached the headboard, placing himself against it. When Ash positioned herself behind you, hands on your hips, she began guiding you on top of him.

In this new position, Chan reached even deeper parts of you, if that was even possible. The added pleasure from Ash’s second hand, grazing over your nipples, brought you right back to the orgasm that had previously been so reachable. Chan’s fingers met hers at your hip, sharing their task to move you over his length.

“Do you feel him? Reaching so deep you almost suffocate?”

Ash’s words were met with a wordless whimper, your head thrown against her shoulder. Her lips came to your neck, sucking at the flesh as all their attention was drawn to you. Chan himself appeared to close in on his release. Still, his eyes were focused on your body, his second hand coming to your clit and softly rubbing into it. It only pushed you closer to the edge, all this stimulation from the two most attractive people you had ever met.

When Chan started kissing the other side of your neck, his tongue lapping at your skin as his plump lips wrapped around your vein, your movements became sloppier.

“So close,” was all you could say before they sped up, together pushing you over the edge.

You spasmed on top of Chan, abs tightening and loosening as your thighs contracted beneath their hands. The crumbling of your walls sent Chan over the edge seconds later, his seed filling you. Deliciously and warm.

You had never been to heaven before, but this was damn close to what you expected it to be like. The level of satisfaction filling your body, reaching into the deepest parts of your bones, seemed unattainable; the mere concept of how it felt better than any dream, any fantasy you could have ever come up with.

A dazed “Fuck” left all of you collectively as your eyes searched the ceiling for leverage. Your mind was hazy, sight still blurry as you came down from your high. Chan and Ash weren’t doing any better spread out wordlessly beside you – Chan in between his girlfriend and you.

When your eyes finally slowed down, features forming faces again, your head turned to the couple beside you. Ash had her head on Chan’s chest as they took deep breaths, almost in unison. Watching them seemed so intimate. Almost too much so, both their eyes closed as they bathed in the afterglow. You wanted to give them a moment, so you sat up, missing how Chan was reaching out for you to pull you against him.

His release dribbled out of you and into your – or rather Ash’s – panties as you got up, mumbling something about getting some drinks before hurrying out of the room.

Once you reached the kitchen, you searched their fridge for cold water bottles. It was when you closed the fridge door that you finally caught a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of the digital screen.

Your makeup was smudged, your eyes heavy, and your stomach dropping at the settling reality the first moment your head cleared. That’s when your thoughts began racing a never-ending marathon, your pupils following an invisible line from left to right in your reflection.

You had just had sex with your best friends. You had just had the best sex ever with your best friends. You had just had the best sex ever with your best friends, and things would definitely be different now. And what if it wasn’t good different? What if your dynamic had just now changed so much that you’d lost them? What if they regretted it? What if they didn’t like you like that – the way you liked them?

Because you did. You liked them. And not how other people liked their best friends. You liked them as you had never liked anyone before. Some people would have probably called it love, though you had never truly felt love for anyone before. Or at least that’s how it felt right this moment. Because if you had loved all the people before them, then what was this? What stronger bond was there than love?

Chan and Ash made you feel like no San, no Yeonjun, and no Soyeon had ever made you feel. It had taken years and multiple sexual encounters – with Chan and Ash separately, other people in between, and both together just now – to recognise that. You had never liked anyone like that before. And you couldn’t imagine ever liking anyone like that in the future.

You shook your head to snap yourself out of this because, no. You couldn’t overthink this. Not when they were in the next room, still coming down from what had happened. It wasn’t as though you could take it back, anyways. It had happened, and the only thing you could do was move on. However you were supposed to do that, you hadn’t quite figured out yet.

“Here you go.”

Entering the bedroom after a minute, you sat on the mattress, handing one of the two bottles to Chan before taking a sip from your own. That sip was about half the bottle, the previous physical activity seemingly more exhausting than it had shown first.

“Thanks,” Ash thanked you when Chan handed her the bottle after gulping down his own half of it.

Silence took over the room as the three of you calmed your breathing to its usual rhythm.

Unsurprisingly, Ash was the first to cut the silence, having been the main instigator for everything that had happened within the past hour, “So… That happened.”

“Sure did,” Chan agreed, eyes meeting Ash’s as they fell into giggles. You didn’t know what to make of this, so you stayed silent, watching them in confusion and adoration. “Fuck, that actually happened. I can’t believe it.”

Looking at you, he reached out to pull you closer. This time, you let him.

“How are you feeling? You’re unusually quiet.”

“I’m-” you trailed off, hand on your hip causing goosebumps to rise all over your stomach. “Good. Still a little dizzy, to be honest.”

“Yeah, this was a lot.” Ash smiled at you, her fingers trailing over Chan’s abs absentmindedly. “So, Chan and I have been talking.”

Ash’s eyes met Chan’s as he nodded in encouragement.

“We – Chan and I – feel like something is missing between us. We’ve been feeling like this for a while, actually. But we never quite figured it out before just now.” Smirking while her gaze met you, Ash’s cheeks turned a shade of crimson. “We believe we’ve found it. In you.”

“You figured that out in the minute I was gone to get water?”

It was a half-joke, her words baffling you. The swarm of bees in your stomach only made you giddier, your body shivering as the impact of Ash’s words got to you. They wanted you, too.

“No, silly.” Ash chuckled, her hand coming to meet your waist. “We’ve been talking for a while. A few months, maybe. We joked about inviting a third party into our relationship before, but we didn’t really assume it would lead anywhere. As I said, we only just figured out that’s what we want.”

Chan’s head turned to you, heart palpitating against his chest under your palm.

“If that’s what you want, of course. You can totally think about it first if you like. Or you can say ‘no’ right away. Just-” A sigh left Chan’s lips as he let himself breathe through his nervousness. “We really, really like you.”

“You do?” you questioned in disbelief, all the worrying from before ejected from your mind, carried by the bees that went berserk at his words.

“Yes. I’ve sort of been in love with you since that night at Jisung’s.”

Ash’s confession knocked the air right out of your lungs.

“And I’ve loved you since we met in kindergarten. So, I guess that means I win?”

And just then, you considered yourself braindead.

Hearing how long they’ve felt this way about you made your heart swell, your arteries burst and rendered your body practically useless. They had loved you for years. Felt this way about you for years. And you, well, if you were being completely honest with yourself, had loved them like this for about the same time. You just hadn’t identified the feeling correctly until now.

But that hardly mattered. Because, as you sat on their bed after having had the best experience of your life, laughing at Chan’s words, your heart and mind numb from how much you wanted to be with them, nothing else mattered anymore. Because you had found your place, and you wouldn’t give up your seat at that table for as long as you still had power over yourself.

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When the clock turned from PM to AM, it was time for your demons to run loose. 

You uncaged them and allowed them to say whatever the fuck they wanted into your ears. Sometimes they would be so mean, whispering things to remind you of what a terrible human being you were, and you let them. You knew you deserved that punishment every once in a while for everything you had done with complete disregard for anything other than yourself.

Some other times, however, they would just sit next to you and relentlessly tempt you. Persuade you into doing things you knew were wrong by an average person’s moral compass. Then again, you were no average person, and your compass was long broken, so you let them coax you, cajole you into turning into an absolute menace. To society, to the people around you.

To yourself.

Much like that night as you were wrapped in a blanket on the swing on your balcony with your peach vodka in your hand. 

The cold, delicious drink was awfully reminiscent of Chris. So sweet. Refreshing. You fucking knew it needed to be consumed in moderation, but the buzz wouldn’t even set in until you downed a couple of glasses, conveniently giving you the false impression that there wasn’t even any alcohol in it. You would only realize you were completely smashed when you attempted to get up, and by then it would already be too late. 

There you were, on your balcony, wrapped in your blanket, thinking about Chris again. You were never not thinking about Chris.

It was a terrifying thing to notice, but ever since the dinner party at his place, something had shifted inside you. You wished you were making it up, but you knew something had changed for him, too.

You darted your eyes from the tar-like night sky to your phone when you heard the notification sound.

Chris I can’t stop thinking about you How the fuck am I supposed to go back now that I know what your skin on mine feels like?

No ‘Hey’, no greeting, nothing—he just got straight to the point. Little did he know, you were pondering the exact same thing while very much drunk. You weren’t even sure if you were drunk on the vodka or Chris at this point, and it was driving you insane that you didn’t know why this was happening to you. He could have very well been a patron in one of the clubs you used to dance at. Would you feel this intensely about him then, too?

You Who says you need to go back? Chris I’m serious You So am I Chris [Typing…] Then where do we go from here?

Where would you go from here? You had already crossed a line, and it seemed like both of you had picked up an instant addiction. To be fair, it was most likely a very strong infatuation for both of you. Maybe it was the fact that he was taken. Maybe it had been just too long since someone else made him cum. And maybe things just got lost in translation afterwards.

Then why the fuck were you instantly excited just thinking about him?

You Are you familiar with the term ‘free use’ Dr. Bang? Chris As in [Typing…] With benefits? You All the benefits you can think of I think we both know your stroker can’t make you cum as hard as I can Just come over whenever you wanna blow off some steam Chris [Typing…] Can I come over right now?

What?

At this hour? Was Casey away? You were already trapped between the blurry lines of tipsy and drunk; you wouldn’t even be able to live up to the expectations you set for yourself.

But you really, really, really wanted to see Chris. Everybody had a weakness, and maybe he had become yours.

You Sure

In about thirty seconds, you heard a faint knock on your door. You almost trampled yourself on the way over how excited you were. You were acutely aware of how ridiculous it was for you to feel this way, but still…

When you opened the door and locked eyes with Chris, neither of you said anything for five seconds. Seeing him in the flesh felt like a cold splash of water on your face, and for some reason, he looked like he instantly came to his senses, as well.

“I have no fucking clue what I was thinking. This looks really bad I know, I swear I’m not actually like this. I just…” Chris let out a defeated sigh, “I really wanted to see you.”

The feeling in the pit of your stomach shapeshifted all of a sudden. You were overcome with an intense surge of affection and endearment towards him.

“I know,” you spoke with a smile.

Chris could be many things, but one thing he wasn’t was a bad person. He wasn’t like you. He wasn’t like most people you had known for that matter. He was a human being with flaws, but you knew his heart was in the right place.

Because he was not like you.

“Just so you know, the benefits involve unlimited talking privileges,” you flashed your car keys at him, “How about we go for a drive instead?”

He broke into a smile and nodded. Meanwhile, you grabbed your jacket and handed your keys to him.

“You’re driving,” you instructed him while closing your front door, “Can we stop by a drive-thru? I need me some trash food to sober up.”

You didn’t even give a damn if you were seen or not. If anybody fucking asked, you just called a friend to take you to your beloved burgers because you were in no state to drive by yourself and the damn place wouldn’t deliver at this hour. End of story. 

You cruised on the empty streets for a while. With your head resting on the passenger seat window, you watched Chris’ silhouette as he drove with all his attention on the road. Neither of you talked, but the silence wasn’t awkward. It was needed, actually; it enveloped the two of you in a soothing bubble of serenity. Judging by the way he was comfortably sprawled behind the steering wheel rather than assuming his usual tense posture, Chris seemed to be able to breathe easy. It put a smile on your face.

“Do you really know five languages?” Chris asked in the parking lot before munching on his burger. You looked at him with a judgmental ‘I beg your fucking pardon?’ look while slurping on your drink, and responded.

“多分。”

“Was that Japanese?”

“Yyyup.”

He let out a very entertained giggle and continued his questions like he was interviewing you.

“So what are your favorite places around here so far?”

“Librerías y papelerías. Son muy bonitas.”

“How did you even decide on which languages to study for?”

“Qui cherche, trouve, chéri.”

“Not gonna lie, I’m a little turned on right now.”

“야 그만해라.”

His giggles turned into their final and most devastating form, and you laughed along with him. At that empty parking lot, Chris felt like he was making his first genuine connection with someone after what seemed like several forevers. For once, there was no hidden agenda to be in his good graces. No underhanded motive. Nothing about money, power, influence, or whatever the fuck else these people loved around here. Just two people enjoying each other’s company, talking about the most random things they could think of while scarfing down burgers and driving back home at some godforsaken time of the night.

All this time you two were alone. You could have done things if one of you so much as insinuated something, but you didn’t even kiss. It felt like both of you were in dire need of something much more humane than an animalistic impulse. 

And it felt nice for a change.

“Whenever you wanna blow off steam,” you quietly uttered as Chris was about to leave, having considerably sobered up by then, “Just talk to me, okay?”

He gave you a smiling nod and made his way back to his own prison. Talk to you. Talking to you was the easiest thing in the world.

One trip to some fast food joint at 2 AM. That was all it took for you both to form a new habit.

Your night drives with Chris became somewhat regular. Granted, you had much more ulterior motives when you first brought up free use, but this version seemed to be just as nice. One of you would shoot a text to the other, you would meet, and drive to some parking lot to grab a bite, watch the sea, or just talk. That confined space of your vehicles turned into somewhat of a bootleg therapist’s office where you got a little bit closer to each other every time. You were both a little too experienced with reading between the lines, so no excruciating details needed to be depicted. You talked about your love for thistles. He talked about growing up with his grandmother, and how he decided to leave the country for good no postcards from his mom later. 

“Is there a reason you came to Sunderland specifically?”

“The commercials looked really nice,” you shrugged, “I’ve always been a nomad. Wanted to take a stab at settling down by myself for a change. My ex husband didn’t seem to understand the concept very well.”

“Your… your ex husband?”

“I used to be married.”

Even though his eyes spelled “Really?” he didn’t say anything out loud.

You were sort of baiting Chris with moderately outrageous facts about yourself to assess his reactions. Just to confirm whether your intuition about him was true. He was never once judgemental like the most people populating this town. He didn’t shame you. Didn’t break into monologues about morals, or doing the right thing, or whatever. Even when you told him what you used to do for a living.

You were lowkey hoping he would do or say something to disappoint you because otherwise…

“Well, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive,” he shrugged instead, “Don’t expect the people here to understand you, though, because they can’t.”

The first commandment of being a nomad was not to get attached. To anything. Anywhere. Anyone. All you did so far was rental exchanges with strangers for your own entertainment, pleasure, or personal gains, and that was it. You didn’t give a fuck about the other person because you were only supposed to look out for yourself. It had always been that way.

That was exactly why connecting with Chris to this extent made you panic for your dear life because you didn’t know what you were capable of doing if you actually fell for someone. You were trying your hardest to tread with caution, but it felt like trying to find your way in pitch-black darkness by only touching the things around you, not knowing what they were or where you were even going.

One night as you were on a quest for the donuts he wouldn’t shut up about, Chris went on and on and on about the beaches back home. The way he talked about it like a kid on a sugar high endeared the crap out of you. With each word he uttered, you felt something swell in your chest.

Something was indeed happening to you, and you fucking hated that feeling.

“Damn, man, did the Ministry of Tourism commission you to be their ambassador or something?” 

“I wish,” he widened his eyes, “That would have been the dream. I love the sea.”

“You surf?”

“I used to.”

“What else do you like?”

“I mean… donuts,” he held up the half-bitten piece of pastry in his hand. You giggled.

“What do you hate then?”

As he was swallowing his bite, Chris creased his brows. He took a long while to come up with an answer, but he was still empty-handed by the end of it.

“No one’s ever asked me that question before.”

“How about I go first then?” you shifted in your seat, “For example, I hate olives.”

“Oh,” he quickly scanned the index of his strong dislikes, “In that case, I hate pineapples in my burger.”

“What the hell do you have against pineapples? They’re delicious!”

“Hey, I’m a pineapple juice lover, okay?” he dramatically emphasized, “There are some things you just should not put in your food is all I’m saying.”

“Fair enough,” you punctuated the pseudo-argument with a smile.

After his laughter faded, Chris’ aura changed colors. He looked way too somber all of a sudden and put the donut back into the box, seemingly having lost his appetite. You examined his face trying to understand what was wrong, but before you could even ask a question, the words spilled from his lips on their own.

“I hate that I have to pretend.”

You grabbed the box, shoved it into the glove compartment, and scooted a little closer to him. You held his chin and turned his face towards yours to look into his eyes.

“Pretend what?”

He finally locked his eyes with you and responded in a tone stuck between angry and sad.

“That I don’t hate things.”

“If you don’t mind me observing,” you rolled the words in your mouth for a little while and finally spat them out, “You’re not sleeping with your wife, are you?”

The only reply you received was a silent shake of the head as he was looking away.

“Because?”

Chris heavily exhaled and leaned into his seat.

“You can’t really bring yourself to touch someone you detest with your entire being.”

“Then why are you even married to this person?” you questioned, “Unhappy people getting a divorce is not unheard of, you know?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

He brokenly smiled and turned to his right to look at you so that you knew how sincere his wish was.

“I really hope I can tell you someday.”

You reflected his broken smile back at him and wiped the Bavarian cream clinging to the corner of his mouth. Chris inadvertently flinched when you touched him out of the blue and immediately sat up straight.

“I– I don’t think you understand my frustration levels,” he cleared his throat, “I’m one minor contact away from having an accident, so please…”

You chuckled, “If you’re one minor contact away, how do you deal with your clients every day?”

“You know the profile of my clientele, right?”

“Oh, come on! Surely some hot piece of ass walks into your office every once in a while to rejuvenate her vagina or something.”

“I mean, occasionally, yeah,” he spoke matter-of-factly, “But they’re my patients. I’m not attracted to them.”

“You have a type?”

Chris couldn’t help his smile at your incessant mischievous questioning with that grin slapped on your face, and brazenly responded.

“Yes, I do.” 

Only silence ensued as he was looking at you intently. After several seconds, you pointed your finger at yourself questioningly, and when he nodded, you bust out a cackle.

“So you like ‘em flirty and promiscuous.”

“No, I like ‘em fearless and dangerous.”

Your mutual giggling eventually died down, and you were just looking at one another, attentively examining the little details on each other’s faces. His eyes eventually darted to your lips, reminding him of what they looked like wrapped around him not too long ago, and he felt a warm sensation rapidly spread in the pit of his stomach.

Goddammit…

He was doing so fucking well up until that moment. Chris was beyond frustrated, not because he didn’t get laid, but because he couldn’t touch you. Sexting or masturbating to you wasn’t enough anymore. Feeling you just once wasn’t enough. It hadn’t been enough for quite some time. He needed to fuck you. He needed to fuck you right here right now. Hard. Fast. Sloppy. Into his backseat. Fuck you until you fogged all the windows of his car. Choke you until you begged for some air. Grope you until you had bruises on you in the exact shape of his fingerprints. Kiss you until your skin was healed. Finger you until your eyes rolled back. Eat your pussy until you arched into his mouth. If only he wasn’t able to smell how wet you were between your legs because now that he could, it was getting way too hard to restrain himself with each passing second.

Just why the fuck did your scent have to be so… fucking… delicious?!?!

He closed his eyes, licked his lips, and took a very deep breath to seemingly calm himself, which was to no avail because as much as he was able to sense you, you were able to notice the strain under his pants, too. You scooted even closer to him and placed your hand on his thigh to gently caress it.

“Should I take this as a compliment then?”

Chris was embarrassingly hard already, and your touch was not helping his situation at all. Why, yes, you should take that as a goddamn compliment because were you even aware how many times he had to touch himself in a single day because of you?

“Please…”

You weren’t able to hold back anymore either. Once the spark from that match was alive, there was no turning back. It immediately turned into an uncontainable fire. You leaned into his reddening ear which looked like smoke was about to come out of it any second now.

“I want you, Chris.”

“Please,” he couldn’t dare open his eyes, “Don’t… Don’t prey on my weakness like that.”

But how could you not when he specifically told you not to in that desperate voice of his? Having had a knack for languages for so long, you knew exactly what that translated into.

Keep going and I will not take any responsibility for what happens.

“Your weakness?” you started sliding your hand up his thigh, “Is that what you call being touch-starved?”

“No, it’s– it’s you,” he thickly gulped, “Please.”

His words said Have mercy, but the fine print said something else. If you stopped right then and there, he was probably going to go back home and wreck everything in his garage into a pile of debris out of sheer frustration. Then wouldn’t having mercy be the complete opposite of what his lips were saying?

“I want you bad,” you placed a kiss on his earlobe, “I know you want me, too.”

“Please.”

You brushed your nose on his cheek, and when you spoke against his skin, your warm breath carried your words right to the pit of his stomach.

“You keep thinking about us, too, don’t you?” you loosened the button of his jeans, “You touch yourself to how incredible it felt in my mouth, don’t you handsome?”

“Please!”

“It’s just you and me. Just two people who deliriously want each other. Nothing more, nothing less.”

And when you finally touched his neck and whispered loudly in his ear with that much air—

“Fuck me, gorgeous.”

“ENOUGH!”

Chris jolted in his seat like he was electrocuted and grabbed your face.

“I’m fucking done with your teasing.”

Ironically enough, your first kiss came way later than the first time you made him cum. It was a kiss. A goddamn kiss, but by god, you had never experienced something this erotically charged before. The way he kissed you felt like he was trying to invade the void in your soul. When you touched his torso under his shirt, you almost charred your skin for his temperature was a million degrees. You were scared he was going to suffer a seizure or something due to acute fever.

“God, you’re so fucking hot. Who the fuck told you to be this fucking hot?”

Chris lowered your seat all the way back with one pull of a lever, and you started stripping each other a little too roughly like your life was at stake. He actually managed to rip off several buttons of your shirt and tore the lace of your bra, immediately latching himself to your nipples on sight. He was way too enthused for his own good, and you could feel him gently biting on the pebbled skin while getting rid of your pants in the meantime.

Why the fuck did you love getting tossed around by him this much?

“I want you,” Chris breathed into your neck, “Endlessly.”

You’d had your fair share of steamy encounters. Well, you’d had a lot of people’s share of steamy encounters for that matter, but you were aware of what those entailed. Both parties were always a placeholder. Temporary. Disposable.

Nobody had ever wanted you before.

“Gosh, you’re soaked,” Chris brought his thumb dangerously close to your clit and ogled you with his lips parted.

You were so goddamn slippery and on edge that the way he kept denying you contact annoyed the shit out of you. When you attempted to buck your hips for a little bit of friction, he groped your thighs and pinned you down.

“Behave.”

Sunkissed friendly guys who would get you soaked just with their filthy mouths. 

Well-behaved guys who were into kinky shit behind closed doors. 

Considerate guys who would mark their girls in their beds. 

Laid-back guys who fucking lost their shit when someone else touched what was theirs. 

Turns out, Chris was one of them.

“Don’t fucking act like you don’t wanna bury your face there,” you grabbed his wrists, “Now I’m gonna soak you.”

With one quick reflex, you straddled him and started grinding your clit against his rock hard cock. A throaty groan ripped from his throat. You felt him grope your ass as he made out with your neck. He was gasping for air against your skin. You inadvertently moaned when he landed a spank on your hips. The moment you locked eyes with him again, you saw how content he was with your reaction, biting on his lips with a twisted smile.

“God, you’re into some messed up stuff, aren’t you?”

“What are you gonna do if I am?” Chris shoved his fingers into your mouth, “Do you mind if I use this real quick?”

He loved the way you started swirling your tongue around his fingers, letting out sharp exhales each time you sucked on them. The deeper you took them in your mouth, the louder he moaned.

“I wanna do so many things to you,” you pressed your forehead against his.

“Do fucking everything to me.”

“You said everything,” you slithered your hands behind his nape, “No takebacks.”

“But I can’t wait that long.”

“Fucking use me. I know you’re sick of it,” you grabbed him by his neck, “Eat me alive.”

“Stop talking like that!” he grunted almost in the form of a whine. Meanwhile, you just shamelessly grinned at him.

“Why? Because treating me like a cumdump is disrespectful?”

“STOP!”

He turned you around in his lap, aligned his leaking length with your entrance, and pressed you closer to him so that your back was flush against his chest.

“Sit on it,” he firmly instructed you, “I wanna disappear into you.”

As you lowered yourself, Chris also pushed you down from your thighs, and you almost imploded for the sensation was way too overwhelming.

“Fucking—!”

“I can feel how creamy you are on my cock, fucking christ,” he rested one hand on your breast and spread your thighs further apart with the other, “Ain’t no way I’m not cumming inside.”

Chris felt fucking incredible inside you. He was pounding into you so hard and fast that pornographically sloppy sounds accompanied the echo of both your moans in the car.

“How does it feel sitting on me? As good as you imagined?”

“Fucking better.”

“Feel every inch,” he kissed your neck, “Every… fucking… inch. You did this to me.”

You threw your arm behind you to hold onto his nape and rested your head on his shoulder. Not too long after, he started rubbing your clit with his wet fingers while marking hickeys on your neck.

“Harder! I said eat me alive.”

“The fuck are you doing to me?”

He started thrusting into you with sharper movements, and when you started contracting, it basically spelled his impending doom.

“Don’t clench. Don’t… clench!”

“But I’m gonna.”

“Don’t— FUCK!!!”

Chris barely lasted five minutes. The way he violently spurted inside you, the way he clenched his teeth and moaned against your skin, the way he rode out his orgasm… It was all so hot to witness that you didn’t even give a fuck you didn’t get to cum.

“I’m– I’m so sorry. I couldn’t—”

“It’s fine,” you chuckled, “Didn’t that feel really good just now?”

“It really did,” he rested his head against your temple, “I’d forgotten what fucking feels like.”

You carefully got off him and laid down in the backseat as Chris hugged you. You kept caressing his unruly hair until he caught his breath. Unfortunately for you, right at that moment that swelling feeling in your chest tightened, and you felt something click like it got permanently locked inside.

Please don’t let me love you, gorgeous. Otherwise, we’re fucking doomed.

Ever since that day, you started observing Casey a lot more closely whenever you saw her. What she was doing, what kind of a person she actually was, the fucking front she was putting up, and tried to understand the reason why. Chris didn’t say he didn’t want to get a divorce. He said he couldn’t, and you just fucking knew this bitch had something to do with it. 

It was somewhat tolerable when you watched her doing some domestic shit in her garden from afar, waving at each other with fake smiles, but it was straight up making your skin crawl whenever she was right in your face.

“Oh my god, your garden is a mess!” she shrieked pointing at the thistles, and scared the crap out of you, “Do you need a gardener? I can give the number of ours to you. He does a fantastic job weeding out our yard.”

“Oh, this is very much voluntary,” you replied all unfazed, “I’m growing them myself.”

“Really?” she contorted her face in mild disgust, “Why would you grow thistles when you could have beautiful roses and jasmine shrubs instead?”

It took everything in your willpower not to smack her with the pruning shears in your hand.

“I’m a little busy. Did you need something?”

“Oh, nothing, I just wanted to say hi,” Casey flashed a disgustingly sweet smile and waved, “Toodles!”

The second she was at a safe distance, you mumbled to yourself through your teeth.

“It’s not like I’m growing cannabis here, you Sharpay Evans looking-ass cunt.”

“You’re not gonna believe what happened the other night,” Nathalie appeared out of thin air, giving you your second heart attack within a span of two minutes, “Inside. Now.”

She looked somewhat distraught, so you immediately dropped everything and followed her to the kitchen area.

“Is everything okay sweetie?” you took out the gloves from your hand and brought out a pitcher of sangria from the fridge, “Did those bitches do something again? Whose ass do I have to kick?”

“It’s not like that. Sit,” Nathalie fervently patted the couch and went off, “You know the Lees down the street, right?” 

“I think?”

“I was at the farmer’s market on Monday morning, and I ran into Chaeryong.”

“Oh, right, I remember her,” you snapped your fingers, “Contrary to her counterparts, she seems like a nice lady, actually. All quiet and everything.”

“I know, right?” Nathalie widened her eyes and flapped her hand quickly, “Anyway, we sort of started shopping together and then she invited me for brunch.”

“Bitch, you’re brunch-cheating on me?!”

“Will you fucking listen?” she slapped your thigh, “We get to talking, and then all of a sudden she asks me if Jisung and I would be interested in an exclusive party they’re hosting. Apparently, they get together every month.”

“Something like Casey’s pretentious-ass dinner party?”

“I thought so. I say ‘Sure’ and Ji and I drag our asses to the address she’s given me. It’s like this big-ass mansion, right? We’re greeted by a butler. A fucking butler!”

“Whose house even was this?” you furrowed your brows and refilled your glass.

“I don’t know!” Nathalie squealed with gigantic eyes, “I thought it was going to be a restaurant or something at first. Almost everything inside is marble, and then we’re escorted to what I thought was going to be a dining room.”

“It– it wasn’t?”

“Oh, there was some eating going on alright,” she took a very deep breath and punctuated her story, “Bitch, it was a whole-ass swinger party going on inside!”

Your jaw dropped all the way to the floor so fast that there was surely a dent in your hardwood floors now. A swinger party? In fucking suburbia galore? You started to die laughing.

“What the fuck did you guys do?!”

“We freaked out and went home!” Nathalie downed her entire glass, “But somehow that whole scene… It unlocked something for us.”

“How so?” 

“When we got back home Jisung seemed a little too… riled up,” she uttered somewhat bashfully, “Talking about how he would knock a bitch out if they dared touch his girl and shit.”

“And? Did he finally hit that like you wanted?”

Clearly replaying her memories in her head, she melted into the couch.

“God, it was the best sex of my goddamn life.”

You started laughing even louder, but at the end of the day good for your friend, right? Effective proof right there that disasters were indeed salvageable. 

“It’s always the quiet ones, I swear,” you wiped the tears from your eyes, “See? Instead of waiting for the neighborhood deviants to point shit out to you, you should talk to each other more often.”

“I didn’t know how I would ease into it, but I guess anything I bring up will be way too tame compared to this now,” she leaned back into her seat, “So yeah. What have you been up to lately?”

Well, I finally fucked Chris, and it blew my goddamn mind, was what you wanted to say, but for some reason, you couldn’t really bring yourself to reveal this piece of information to your friend yet. Technically, you weren’t lying to her; you just... didn’t bring it up.

“Nothing much,” you smiled at her, “Sangria?”

Nathalie hung out with you until the evening hours, and once you saw her off, you briefly questioned yourself regarding why you chose to hide the whole Chris situation. Were you feeling bad about it? No. Would you do it again? Hell, yeah. Were you aware that it wasn’t exactly the right thing to do?

Well, technically…

Right before a whole-ass debate broke out inside your head, your phone screen lit up with a notification from Chris.

Chris Since I’m kinda bored at the office Bets open How many times did I cum to that ass since the last time I last saw you?

Boom! Your logic? Gone. Common sense? Gone. Immediately. You sprawled on your couch and responded to him.

You Four Chris Eleven I keep replaying it in my head I can still feel you under my touch

You involuntarily bit into your smile because samesies. You were sort of scared to bring it up again, especially after that weird post-sex feeling, but you never stopped thinking about that night, either. It was under control when you were just relying on your imagination, but now that you had actual evidence of what Chris felt like in all your five senses, you were the one who was one minor contact away from having an accident.

You Did I ever tell you That your voice drives me fucking crazy? Let me hear it again [IMG304.jpeg] Here’s a little motivation 

Right after you sent the text involving a picture of your breasts squeezed together, you started waiting for the indicator to change with bated breath. After what felt like hours, there it was again, exciting you way too much on cue.

Chris [Recording audio…]

Your hand reached inside your underwear, and you started caressing yourself with very gentle touches. Just the thought of Chris jerking off to you right now was so fucking hot you didn’t even need to hear the audio itself to get wet.

Then you finally got the notification you were waiting for.

The way he kept hissing, the wet sounds of him stroking himself, the little whimpers he let out every now and then, panting and moaning to an image of you… It was fucking customized porn. Unadulterated, top-notch, cutting-edge, state-of-the-art quality porn made just for you.

Oh, you’re fucking killing me with this.

But the important question was why were you touching yourself all alone in your living room when he could be touching you?

Your wits spectacularly lost the battle against your urges. Shortly after, you found yourself getting ready as fast as you could and driving to his clinic. 

Between you leaving home and arriving at his building, the sky lost complete consciousness and turned from dusk to pitch-black. Even as you were riding the elevator eighteen floors up, your rationality was still nowhere to be found. You caught a glimpse of Chris taking out his white coat through the open door to his office. Very casually. As if he didn’t indulge in some shameless acts not too long ago. Seeing him in the flesh looking like that, your sanity peaced out for good. You watched yourself push the glass door open and walk into that lobby with a ridiculous amount of confidence.

“Good evening, Dr. Bang,” you called out to him.

Chris was stunned to see you right before his eyes as though he somehow manifested you there out of sheer willpower. Before giving him a chance to speak, you continued.

“I apologize for the last-minute consult. I’m aware I don’t have an appointment and it’s late, but I really need this resolved as soon as possible. You see, my boyfriend’s coming to town.”

“Dr. Bang, I’m taking off for today.”

“Uh– Thanks, Stacy. I’ll see you on Monday,” Chris saw the woman behind the information desk off and called you in, “Please come in.”

You followed him into his office, your heart thumping in your ears for some reason. 

“Your boyfriend?” Chris raised his brows questioningly. You, on the other hand, were entertained out of your mind.

“Your receptionist needed something to chew on, no?”

His relief was so obvious from the way he deeply exhaled. It was quite endearing, actually.

“You’re crazy,” he started laughing.

“And you get a kick out of it,” you started walking towards his chair, “Actually, there might really be something wrong with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been told you’re the best doctor in town for this, so I think you can really help me with my problem,” you sat on his desk and spoke with a solemn voice, “Do you also happen to specialize in sexual health, Dr. Bang?”

Chris was sort of caught off-guard as he was expecting a legitimate consult on his professional opinion. He did his best to try to suppress his laughter and responded as seriously as he could manage.

“I’d like to assure you all my clients leave here figuring out what works for them, and they carry on enjoying a healthy sex life.”

“Oh, I’m not here to figure things out. I know what works for me.“

“Then what’s the purpose of your visit?”

You got up from the desk and made yourself comfortable in his lap. The way you brushed your fingers against his neck gave him goosebumps.

“I have a problem getting enough.”

“Insatiability,” a shadow of a smile passed through his lips, “Well, that’s a first.”

The second you took his full lips between yours, you started melting into each other again. You kept teasing one another with little touches here and there, scared to lose complete control if you did anything more than that.

“Did you miss me?”

“A lot,” Chris spoke against your lips, “You’re like bad drugs I swear to fucking god…”

“Touch me,” you brought his hands around your waist, “I don’t care where. Just touch me.”

The way you started moaning into each other’s mouths gradually more loudly was the signal that this was about to get out of hand pretty quickly. You broke the kiss before either of you started doing something earthshatteringly stupid.

“Down for a little escapade with me?”

“H-here?”

“One of these days, I am gonna fuck you in your office, and you’re not gonna be able to look at this place the same,” you chuckled and fixed the collar of his shirt, “but today is not that day.”

“Where do you wanna go then?”

“Somewhere only we know. Just to be safe,” you started explaining the little plan you concocted, “Come to the parking lot in ten minutes and follow my car. We’ll drive separately. I’ll go in first. You’ll come sometime after me and ask for a single room with a single bed. Just to cover our bases. I’ll be waiting for you by the elevators, Dr. Bang.”

A thirty-minute drive later, there you were. In the lobby of The Ritz in Mayweather. 

You checked into a suite with a sea view and started going through your phone mindlessly until your person of interest stood right next to you to call for an elevator. He didn’t even have to say anything; his sandalwood scent made you keenly aware of his presence anyway.

The second those elevator doors closed behind you you were all over each other. Tongues clashing, bites on lips, tugs of the flesh. You felt his hand slithering up your thigh.

“Finger me.”

Chris hastily turned you around, spat on his fingers, and slid his hand inside your underwear.

“You got twenty three floors to cum,” he pressed your body against the mirror, “Show me what you got.”

He was quietly moaning while making out with your neck as he fingered you. You could feel how hard he was getting on your hips, and you were both fogging the mirror with how heavily you were breathing. 

“Just give it to me.”

“Faster. Right– right there!”

If you had a little more time you could actually cum on his fingers maybe, but you were severely cockblocked by the sound telling you you’d reached your floor.

“Tsk, this won’t do,” Chris licked his fingers, “I told you you got twenty three floors.”

When you walked into the spacious room, the first thing Chris did was pour drinks for both of you to chug. You could feel that his aura was a little different. There was a delicious flicker of danger emitting from him. When you attempted to unbutton his shirt, he stopped you.

“You know what, I have an idea,” he poured himself another drink and pointed at the bed, “Sit.”

You had no clue what it was about him that night that made you want to follow each and every instruction, but you just did. Chris dragged a chair right in front of you and leaned back with one ankle resting on his other knee. Then he took his phone out.

“Do you mind if I get a souvenir?” he playfully smirked, “I think it’s only fair if you returned the favor.”

“Go ahead,” you reciprocated his smile.

“Strip for me.”

He sipped on his drink as you undressed, licking his lips with every piece of clothing you took off.

“Spread your legs wide.”

He zoomed in to get a close-up of your pussy and smiled to himself.

“Lay down,” he continued his instructions, “Now you’re gonna touch yourself and let me watch you,” 

“Can I use aids?”

“Why, of course.”

You reached out for your purse and took out the bullet vibrator you were carrying in your wallet because fuck a lipstick, this was a girl’s best friend.

“Close your eyes,” Chris started speaking in a huskier tone, the giveaway sign of how turned on he was, “I want you to tell me everything you want me to do to you.” 

“Everything?” you softly chuckled, “Sure you’re not gonna get scared?”

“Try me. I haven’t always been a suburbia guy,” he nonchalantly uttered, “I have some conditions, though.”

“I’m listening.”

“If you can do those things to yourself, you’re gonna manifest me on your body,” he savored the taste of the gin on his tongue, “Wanna get your pretty pussy eaten? I’d better see you dripping.”

You weren’t sure whether it was the alcohol or the sense of freedom that transformed Chris into this, but you absolutely weren’t complaining. You made a mental note of each and every thing he said like a meticulous student.

“Want me to make you scream? You’d better stop it with those quiet moans. You act like you don’t actually want me to drill you into that mattress? Just lazy rubs on that clit? That’s all you’re getting from me.”

His voice was commanding. Enthralling. Categorically tantalizing. You couldn’t even remember whether anybody else was ever able to get you this worked up.

“But if you can show me what you exactly want?” Chris carried on with his directions, “Then I’ll show you I can do it way better than you can ever do to yourself.”

He downed half his glass in one go and pressed record.

“You may begin.”

May. He said fucking may like he was giving you goddamn permission to entertain him for his viewing pleasure. 

You wished you didn’t salivate over this cocky side of Chris.

“You and I are out, having drinks. Away from anybody we ever know. Just the two of us,” you started fondling your breasts, “I look a bit too good, and you’re not so bad yourself.”

You felt the soft sound of his amused chuckle tickling your ears. Your hand started sliding down your torso, and you started caressing your pussy with gentle movements.

“There’s a guy in the corner ogling me. He seems like he doesn’t really care that you’re there with me. I excuse myself to the restroom. When I come out, he’s right there, asking for my number,” you dragged your fingers on your tongue to get them wet and started playing with your nipple, “I tell him I’m not interested and come back to the table. Unfortunately for me, you see this exchange.”

You applied more pressure on your pussy, which elicited a moan out of you. Per your instructions, you didn’t try to suppress it. You started rubbing your clit to get yourself wetter.

“You ask me what the hell that was and I tell you it’s nothing. Because it is nothing. I only have eyes for you. Even when you’re not with me, I can’t stop thinking about you. You know that, but you act like you don’t believe me. You’re so gone with jealousy that you see red. You grab me by my wrist and drag me to an alley outside. It excites the fuck out of me.”

“Pay attention to how your clit is throbbing,” Chris spoke with a low voice, “Keep caressing yourself.”

You grabbed the vibrator sitting next to you, clicked on it, and started dragging it on your pussy.

“You shove me against the wall and slide my dress up. It angers you that I have underwear on. You rip it off me and tell me to arch my ass. I say I don’t want to, but you know I do. You know I want you to do completely disrespectful, borderline illegal things to me,” you spread your legs wider and began fucking yourself, “If I told you what I really want you to do, I would sound like an absolute masochist that needs to be institutionalized. You awaken the worst parts of me and I fucking love it.”

Chris let out a loud groan indicative of how he was about to pass a precarious threshold, and it pleased you more than you were pleasing yourself.

“Lick your own juices,” he firmly ordered you, “Then finger yourself.”

You turned off the vibrator and sucked on it as if you were sucking on him to get him to cum. Then you pushed two fingers inside you while pinching your nipples.

“I love the way you fuck, gorgeous. I love how mad you are. I love how you’re overcome with this urge to put me in my place. I fucking love the way you ruthlessly take it out on me.”

You were panting and moaning to this make-believe scenario you depicted for him, and Chris couldn’t really calculate that this sight was going to cause him to cum untouched if he let you keep going. It was just too hot to handle.

“Stop.”

You halted your movements and waited for further instructions while catching your breath.

“Sit up. Look at me.”

You did as you were told and locked eyes with him. He was still filming you.

“How much do you want me?”

“Endlessly,” you echoed his haunting declaration back to him. 

He hurriedly unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants. The sight of his precum induced an intense desire in you to just lap at it.

“Open up,” he guided his cock into your mouth, “Suck it deep for me.”

You looked right into the lens while blowing him to give him his ultimate personal porn. The way he was reacting to you with his loud groans was fucking everything.

“My pretty girl,” he placed his hand on your head, “That’s it, choke on it.”

Your enthusiasm suddenly tripled when he called you that. You took more of him down your throat while swirling your tongue around him.

“Goddamn, you’re so fucking good at this,” he threw his head back in pure ecstasy, “Deeper. Take it deeper.”

As he was guiding your head, Chris got a little too excited and started fucking into your mouth. 

“Do it again,” his voice came out as a desperate plea, “Make me cum hard in your mouth again.”

When you started moaning on his cock, that was simply the last straw for him. You felt the warm, bitter liquid shooting down your throat, and once his tremors died down, he stopped the recording.

“That was for me. Now we’re gonna make something for you,” he handed you the phone, “Give me your vibrator.”

“Damn, no ‘please’ or anything?” you sarcastically laughed.

“Did I sound like I was asking? Because I wasn’t.”

Good fucking god, who the fuck was this man because you were losing your whole entire shit over him. You watched Chris strip and nestle himself between your legs.

“No cumming until I tell you to.”

“Because?”

“Because I fucking said so.” 

At this rate, you would jump off that window if he asked you to because it was getting impossible to say no to him.

“Now film me.”

He started caressing your nipples with his thumbs just to watch the way the skin hardened. Zero hurry. Compared to some of your other erogenous zones, your breasts weren’t that sensitive. At least, you had always thought so.

That night you learned what would happen if someone actually took their sweet time working you.

“It’s a shame, really,” he let out a disappointed sigh, “It would be fucking amazing if your cum also squirted out of your nipples.”

Since WHEN are you this forward, my guy?

Chris was paying so much attention to your breasts with excruciating gentleness, kissing them, taking them into his mouth, and drawing slow circles on them with his tongue. He was treating your nipples no different than your clit. Every single movement of him was so unrushed that you felt yourself gradually shift to a realm of pleasure that you didn’t even know existed. He wasn’t doing anything else. No aids. Nothing. Just hyperfixating on your chest area to make you aware of how good this could feel.

After some time, the teasing reached such an unbearable level that you simply started oozing between your legs. You needed him. On you. In you. Behind you. Everywhere. 

Right at that moment, he started descending from your chest with kisses to your ribcage, your stomach, all the way down to your crotch, and stopped in front of your cunt. He wasn’t touching you—his eyes were glued on your folds, admiring it, gawking at how glossy they were because of him. It was like he was waiting for you to snap or something.

“Spit on it.”

You didn’t even know where those words came from; they just forced themselves out of you. Chris paused for a brief moment while looking into your eyes with a knowing smile and then fulfilled your request. 

It indeed pushed you a little closer to snapping.

“Fucking god, eat me. I need to feel your tongue on me,” you tangled your fingers in his hair, “Just lick me. Suck me. Slurp on me until I cum in your mouth.”

He was beyond content with how impatient you were getting, and promptly got to work. You almost lost your fucking mind watching this through the screen, and it was going to be on record forever. This absolute perfection of a man between your legs making out with your pussy. You were instinctively grinding against his face and with every roll of your hips, you were five steps closer to your orgasm. Your legs started shaking not long after.

“Ah, yes. Yes, just like that. Nice and slow,” you felt yourself dissolve on his tongue, “Who the fuck told you to eat pussy this good, my GOD!”

“Told you I’m gonna drive you insane,” he placed a wet kiss on your thigh, “Hold it. I’m not done eating yet.”

That prompted a heated push and pull of who was in charge. You pulled on his hair, he shoved his tongue into your entrance. You scratched his back, he squeezed your thighs. You loudly moaned, he moaned louder into your pussy.

“I wish I could stimulate you from everywhere all at once,” he softly chuckled, “You should see this. You’re soaking the sheets.”

You spread your pussy lips to expose your clit to him and zoomed in on the way he lapped at it with his eyes closed, completely basking himself in your taste.

“So wet,” he pecked your pussy, “Come on, you can give me more.”

At long last, Chris finally grabbed the vibrator, but didn’t turn it on. He just dragged it from your clit down to your entrance and pushed it inside with no pressure, yet it still met resistance.

“You feel that?” he demonstrated how he wasn’t able to go further with a few more pumps, “You’re so aroused, your walls are all swollen.”

He pulled the toy out of you and dragged it back up to a very dangerous zone.

“Clitoris is such a fascinating part of the body, you know,” he started speaking in a beguilingly calm voice, “It’s like there is this annihilate button right out in the open. Who wouldn’t wanna press that?”

He clicked on the vibrator to turn it on, but he still wasn’t pressing it against your clit very much on purpose. All you could feel was the very very faint, feather-like vibrations around it.

“Interesting things, bullet vibrators,” he continued with the same tranquil tone, “They’re supposed to make you feel good, but they don’t have very strong motors. Not to mention you can’t properly fuck yourself with it because of their size. They don’t reach very deep.”

Then he locked eyes with you, and the way he smiled at you was simply demonic.

“That’s why in the wrong hands, they become straight up torture devices, don’t you reckon?”

You were dying. Chris was killing you with his words and ruthless teasing. He kept dragging that damn thing you were cursing yourself to bring out in the first place, and he suddenly discovered a critical spot.

“CHRIS!”

“Oh, found it. Right here under your clit, isn’t it?” he lightly poked his target once, “Want me to work that?

That was a very much rhetorical question because of course he wasn’t going to. He slowly glided the small device currently drenched in your sweet arousal just to bring it down to your entrance again. He pushed the very tip through your swollen hole, fucked a few shallow pumps, and when he met resistance, he moved it back up. His other hand started playing with your nipples again while teasing you to death. You had brought this on yourself—you were the one initiating this arson on your body. You were so sensitive by then that you could feel everything he was doing, and threefold more intensely for that matter. The way he made out with your nipples like he was munching on your clit. The way he contently hummed against your skin like he was getting his dick sucked. The way he slowly slid down the vibrator to that sweet spot right under your clit. Everything.

Then you said the one thing you absolutely shouldn’t have.

“I’m g– I’m gonna cum!”

Chris halted all his ministrations immediately and clicked on the bullet to turn it off. Then he stared you down with a threatening look. 

“I think the fuck you’re not.”

“Chris, please!” you were about to rip your hair out due to unadulterated frustration, “Fucking stop this torture!”

“I don’t think you heard me,” he adamantly declared, “I said no.”

With that, he went back to work you all the way from the top as if you had messed up a one-take shot. Just your breasts again. Just kisses. No contact with your cunt whatsoever. He turned on the vibrator and used it to get your nipples wet with your own juices while pressing the tip on the hardened skin. You wondered if he was trying to see whether you would actually squirt your cum out of them. When your whimpers became too much, he turned the device off and channeled his attention to somewhere else.

He very carefully touched your folds with his thumb, just lightly caressing and avoiding your clit at all costs. He started drawing very slow, languid circles around your clit with the toy as if it was a pen and proceeded to fuck you with very very shallow thrusts again. He kept alternating between the two, but the second your breathing got labored he stopped.

“Stop this!” you pleaded on the brink of tears, “Please stop edging me!”

“But I’m gonna,” he kissed the soft skin right above your pussy, “I’m gonna edge you. I’m gonna edge myself. I’m gonna keep on edging until one of us fucking loses it.”

He turned the vibrator on and swirled the faint vibrations on your outer labia first. Then your inner labia. Then around your clit. Then finally… 

Fucking finally he pressed it on your clit.

“Oh, fuck, yes!”

“Hold it.”

“Chris, yes!”

“Hold it.”

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!”

“I… said… hold… it.”

His lips might have been saying one thing, but Chris forced you to cum very violently by aggressively fucking you with the toy and sucking on your clit, knowing damn well there was no way in hell you would be able to hold it. That wasn’t an orgasm you experienced.

You fucking combusted and shattered into a million pieces.

“What did I just tell you?” he disapprovingly tsked, “You don’t know how to listen. There should be consequences for what you’ve done, don’t you reckon?”

Your brain completely reset. You didn’t know who you were or where you were anymore.

“What– what consequences?”

“Shh, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Chris hovered over your body, “I just want a kiss. Taste yourself on me just like you wanted.”

This was the consequence? Why, by all means, you could give him all the kisses he asked for. 

He placed the phone that slid from your hand on the nightstand, still recording for that matter, so that you were both in the frame, then shifted you on top of his body. He was kissing you long and deep while playing with your tongue and sucking on it. You were feeling yourself slowly resurrecting.

“I’m not gonna do anything, I swear. I’ll only grind against you,” he started moving his hips, “I just want some friction for myself.”

Chris continued with his kisses while grinding, but that didn’t last very long. When he aligned his cock against your entrance, you chortled.

“That feels like more than just friction.”

“Just the tip, baby. Come on.”

Oh, hell no.

This was supposed to be a sweet escape. You were doing extremely obscene things to each other, but when he uttered that damn word, the dynamics suddenly changed. 

The lock in your chest was trapped under a deadbolt now.

“A little more,” he moaned into your mouth, “I only want a little more.”

He turned you around and engulfed your body under his, then you felt him completely sink into you with one sharp push.

“Chris…”

“Fucking need you,” he threw your legs on his shoulder, “I won’t cum inside, I promise.”

He could feel how thick your walls still were, still slightly contracting from your earlier orgasm. Warm. Wet. Perfectly wrapped around his cock like a custom-made sleeve. Then at long last, what he was doing finally hit you and you started laughing.

“You’ve been after making a cum-filled wreck out of me all along, haven’t you?”

Chris looked deep into your eyes with an absolutely maniacal grin and whispered.

“Bingo.”

You threw your arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

“You should manipulate me more often.”

“You should fuck me more often,” he caressed your cheeks, “You should fuck me all the time.”

“Then fill me up. To the brim. I wanna feel your cum leak out of me.”

“No leaking. You’re gonna keep it inside, yeah?” he kissed you again, “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

He started fucking you with a much faster rhythm and shoved his fingers into your mouth. When you started sucking on them in the exact same way you sucked on his cock, Chris let go and squirted his load all over your walls. 

“Inside, baby. Keep it inside,” he grabbed his preferred assault weapon one last time, “Look into my eyes.”

Without driving you up a wall this time, he pressed the vibrator right on target, under your clit to make you cum on his cock. You were still pretty sensitive from earlier, so it didn’t take long for him to hit the nail on the head. Chris stopped the recording and collapsed right next to you. When he pulled out, as much as you wanted to keep it inside, you leaked a little. He brushed his finger on the white liquid to taste it.

“It’s much better when we’re mixed together,” he brought his finger in your mouth, “See for yourself.”

It was indeed much better. The aftercare involving lots of hugs and kisses was very much worth almost passing out.

“Do you think I should get this mole removed?” you pointed at the freckle on your chest.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“It looks so sexy on you,” Chris placed a kiss on it, “I love it.”

“Did you know our pristine neighborhood has a swinger’s club?”

“A what?”

You bust out laughing at his reaction and turned to your side to face him.

“Yeah, Nat told me.”

“Who knew? maybe this town isn’t so boring after all.”

“So they never asked you to join, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Would you have been interested at all if they had?”

“God no,” he furrowed his brows, almost slightly nauseated, “Certainly not in my current situation.”

“What do you mean current?”

He heaved an annoyed sigh, “Even if we were both willing parties, such a scenario wouldn’t be a turn on with Casey.”

“Why not? You don’t find her sexually attractive?”

“Sexually, morally, as a human being overall.”

You couldn’t help the snort that came out of you because samesies. Then all of a sudden, the way he worded it caught your attention and you pulled yourself closer to Chris.

“So it’s not that you wouldn’t wanna do it, but it’s who is involved,” you knowingly smiled, “Would you want to share me with someone else?”

There was a total blue screen on Chris’ face. No thoughts, head empty, just thinking about the lewdest scenarios you just sparked in his mind. What if people were in the room to watch him please you beyond humanely possible? What if they listened to your screams of pleasure when you begged him to give you more? Or stop stimulating you anymore? What if you fucked all night long and people touched themselves to the hottest fucking sight they’d ever witnessed? What if it was so damn seductive that they started fucking each other?

His throat got super dry all of a sudden.

“What uh– What did you have in mind?”

“We can talk about it,” your smile grew wider, “but I have different priorities. I was promised twenty four hours of fucking.”

You straddled him and lowered your body on his. Even though neither of you fully recuperated yet, you didn’t want to be away from him for one second.

“Spend me, gorgeous.”

“I think I enjoy your insatiability problem a bit too much,” he smiled into your lips.

Right when you started another round, your phone screen flashed in your purse with a text notification.

Minho Call me when you can This bitch is sus af

«TO BE CONTINUED»

AUTHOR'S NOTE

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Penguins are monogamous creatures.

The male penguin brings the best, smoothest pebble he can find and offers it to the female. If the female accepts it, they mate for life. Keep one mate away from the other and they will get sick. They will even stop grooming themselves because what’s the fucking point when their literal other half is not around to appreciate them?

The logistics are exactly the same for humans. You offer a shiny stone to your partner with the promise of mating for life. If they accept it, that should be your happily ever after because that’s how every fairy tale ends. Little do those scam stories tell you that shit goes down after you say “I do”.

What is marriage at the end of the day anyway? It’s an insurance policy you never hope to use. It’s a gamble where you go all in that the other person won’t break your heart.

Penguins don’t coerce their partners into mating. It’s an instinctive thing for them. They are unaware of the concept of blackmail.

The only thing some humans have in common with penguins is the tuxedos they wear on their wedding day. Some humans, mind you. They are selfish. They are mean. They are lying, scheming, ugly creatures, and they will do anything to get what they want. Good luck trying to stand in their way and not getting razed to the ground.

Christopher Bang was also married. Beautiful couple, beautiful house, living large on the seven figures he made annually. Pure envy fuel.

If he said out loud that he was thinking about cheating on his wife every second of every day, he would either get shunned to the final circle of hell or get publicly lynched Game of Thrones style because what the literal fuck could someone possibly want more from life? You wanna get your dick wet outside of the holy institution of marriage? Get a fucking divorce!

If only people shut the fuck up for once and provided their unsolicited opinions after knowing the truth.

Because it was nothing but ugly.

Thistles had such a bad rep.

Not only were they categorized as invasive plants, but they were also viciously thorny. Nobody ever cared about how beautiful the bright violet flower was, but for some reason, roses didn’t get the same treatment.

That was exactly why you adored the thistles growing in the backyard of your childhood home. They provided a safe haven for you like a pillow fort made of spikes every time you ran from the yelling and screams of pain echoing in some room of the house. Nobody ever cared to look for you among the vicious thorns.

Nobody ever cared for you.

It was six weeks before your seventeenth birthday that your mother couldn’t endure it anymore. It was six days after her funeral that you left everything behind and disappeared into the night with a piece of thistle stuffed in your pocket. The prospect of getting stranded on the side of some highway was much better than going through the system now that your excuse of a father was behind bars.

Nobody ever cared for you, and no one was going to. You would rather die than rely on someone other than your own shoulders. 

You did try the honest ways at first; just trying to make a humble but decent living to get by, abiding by the rules, and being conscientious. The more you tried to do the right thing, the more people thought you were this poor little naive thing that had nobody, ripe to be taken advantage of.

You would rather die than let someone use you in any capacity.

Yes, all was fair in love and war, but nobody ever talked about how it was also the case in survival. It started as a simple coping mechanism to keep people at bay, just a thin sheet of metal between you and the rest of the world. With all the trials life threw at you, with all the fuckers you had to deal with, it morphed into heavy body armor made of spikes that would put the most reputable knights to shame.

Those who touch it, prick themselves.

Nobody was born a badass. You had to become one.

You were spending your life completely unaware of the concept of taking roots, going wherever the wind took you, frequently changing identities, dancing and scamming for a living, which eventually led you to become a part of The Club, the only woman-led gang that put themselves on the map with branches all over the country. They were the closest thing you had to a family.

You didn’t even know what family was supposed to be like prior to meeting them.

You weren’t ashamed of anything you had done—on the contrary, you were proud of staying afloat on your own and living your life on your own terms. If it came to that, you would do it all over again. 

Nevertheless, human beings had limits, and it was getting more apparent to you as you were getting older.

You agreed to marry some hedge fund guy who was deliriously in love with you for his money. He had promised to take care of you. You didn’t have to do any of this anymore and just enjoy the good things in life like the princess he took you for.

Rule #1: If it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is.

You were so exhausted from being on constant survival mode that you had forgotten all about it.

If taking care of you meant you were supposed to be this window exhibit for him to admire any time he wanted, keeping you away from all human contact, and experiencing acute rage when a male mosquito was passing by then fuck all of this very disrespectfully.

You had grown up adoring thistles. Obviously, you weren’t just going to walk away without a bang. You sought the assistance of The Club’s lawyer then. An absolute expert in shady shit. Lee Minho.

Your last ‘number’ featuring Minho involved framing your dear dear husband for embezzlement to get rid of him, which granted you an automatic divorce and enough money to start a new life. Away from all of this shit. From all the lying and scheming and running away. Just enjoying the good things in life by your fucking self.

And at long last, you saw the sign at the borders of the town.

Welcome to Sunderland!

You didn’t know it back then, but this big-ass cursive sign should have come with a tagline attached to it.

...where suburban dreams are made and all people do is live fake-ass lives.

“Thanks! I’ll take it from here.”

You saw the moving people off, and stood right in the middle of your spacious living room, just looking around your new ‘home’. You thought the warm and fuzzy feeling that you heard about so much would start creeping in already, but… You had no clue what warm and fuzzy was. 

While you were opening a bunch of boxes in search of coziness, your doorbell rang, and on the other side stood someone that looked like they belonged to the cast of Bling Empire.

“Hi, welcome to the neighborhood! My name is Casey.”

A woman in a white sundress with floral patterns. Slightly taller than you, glowing skin, shampoo commercial-looking-ass coiffed long hair, and Instagram model measurements that you knew were obtained after several operations. You ran her through the bullshit filter you had acquired courtesy of meeting way too many people in your lifetime, and your initial results? 

Fake bitch with the potential to be even more annoying.

“Y/N. Pleasure to meet you,” you smiled at her as she handed you what looked like homemade banana bread.

“I live right over there,” she pointed at the house across yours, “Is your husband around? I’d love to welcome him as well!”

Good god, why is she talking in a pitch that disturbs cats?

“Oh, I’m not married,” you kept your composure at the thinly veiled insinuation.

“Aww, it’s okay,” she pouted and placed her hand on your shoulder, “You never know when your soulmate will come knocking on the door. He’s right around the corner, I can feel it!”

There ain’t no way this woman wasn’t hopped up on Adderall or some shit. Who the fuck squeezed eighty five different prejudices about someone in a span of thirty seconds?

What a fucking cunt.

“If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to come knock on our door. My husband and I will be more than happy to help you,” her eyes disappeared behind her smile, “I’ll let you get back to unpacking. Welcome again!”

You thanked Casey and closed the door behind you, your ears still ringing from the extraordinarily high decibel she spoke in.

Your doorbell didn’t stop ringing that entire day, and different couples composed of good-looking people kept appearing at your doorstep as if they were auditioning for a real estate commercial, but it didn’t feel like a welcome parade at all. It was more like somebody told someone that there was this denim-short-wearing single person moving into the neighborhood, and the word somehow traveled at lightspeed. From the way those pretty ladies were intensely judging you while smiling at your face, it was so obvious they were just there to declare their assets and show you what you should not touch at all costs. Meanwhile, the aforementioned assets looked at you once and then turned around to look at you again, enraging their partners beyond control on their way back home.

You most certainly did not belong with these modern-day Stepford wives, and needless to say, it was gonna be so much fun to piss them off.

Since you kept being interrupted, you said fuck it to unpacking. In between the doorstep speed dating with your new neighbors, you hung out on your balcony instead, smiling and waving at the passersby. With a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other, you looked like you were badly photoshopped into that backdrop—all that was missing was a scarlet A stitched to your chest. 

When the goddamn doorbell rang again for the jillionth time that day, you were pretty buzzed and annoyed out of your mind thanks to the unsolicited auditions. Did no one give a shit whether you were available or not?

Fine, we get it, y’all have a commemorative organic cock in your house and I have my fucking dildos. What do you WANT from me?!

“Hi, yes, I’m new here,” you clenched your teeth with a forced smile and snatched the plate from the visitor’s hand, “and I have negative interest in your husband. Thank you for the cookies.” 

“Wow, you’re a bit of a bitch, aren’t you?”

It was… surprising to say the least. You were so conditioned to the saccharine cookie commercial niceness of the Stepford wives that the bluntness hit you like a cool refreshing breeze. Your attitude towards this woman immediately changed because she reminded you so much of your friends from The Club.

“I like you, badass lady,” you extended your hand to her, “I’m Y/N. You daydrink?”

“Nathalie,” she accepted your olive branch with squinted eyes, “Whoever says no to sauvignon blanc in the afternoon cannot be trusted.”

“And now we have to be best friends. Please come in.”

That afternoon, you made your first friend and bonded with her over your mutual annoyance with these fake as hell people. For a second there, you thought you were maybe just being paranoid, but when Nathalie confirmed your observations, you were unequivocally convinced that these people were straight up judgmental assholes.

With the wine-induced comfort she found with you, Nathalie told you all about being as shunned as you the day she moved here because she was ‘new money’—after an extremely lucky weekend in Vegas, she and her husband Jisung had decided to move here in hopes of living a happy life. The Stepford wives were seemingly very cordial with her, but their attitude was nowhere north of ‘you can’t sit with us’. It was like they were doing everything in their power to remind her that she did not belong with them. 

You, on the other hand, immediately liked this woman because honestly, she was the only real one among them. You were pretty sure her husband was as likable as her.

“Okay, I was mad when you first came, but seriously thank you for the cookies. Come by anytime you want, okay? I live alone.”

You exchanged phone numbers with Nathalie and saw her off. As you were opening a new bottle of wine on your balcony, thinking it was going to take a lot of self-brainwashing to get used to this town and its Trumanesque people, you noticed some movement in your peripheral vision.

The garage door to Casey’s house was open, and there was a man inside, literally the only person who did not drop by your place the entire day. He was naked from the waist up and he was punching the sandbag in front of him so hard that you wondered whether he had a personal vendetta against it.

You didn’t make much of it at first. Who the fuck were you to judge when you had that eye candy for a street view anyway?

The next evening you watched him shoot hoops very aggressively for almost two hours all by himself. The day after he did maybe sixty laps in his pool. It was quite obvious he was an active guy, but he seemed to be doing that excessively as if he was trying to compensate for anger management issues or something. He always seemed to be quite irritated, never once smiling.

Besides the fact that he was the only person inducing something akin to butterflies in your stomach even from that afar, there was nothing to worry about.

That Friday, you invited Nathalie for brunch, which was a complete excuse for socially acceptable daydrinking. After you downed three glasses of Bellini each, the topic of conversation shifted to a spicier realm, which happened to be among the things you were a bit too knowledgeable about.

According to what she told you, Nathalie and Jisung both seemed a bit clueless when it came to exploring pleasure. She quite clearly wanted more, and her husband was eager to please, but they were stuck in the vanilla rut of most marriages. 

“Well, have you tried openly communicating with him about this?” you asked while adding ice to her flute.

“I don’t know how. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jisung, but…” she trailed off and heaved a deep sigh, somewhat afraid you were going to judge her, “Sometimes a girl just wants her man to… hit that, you know what I mean?”

“Preach, good woman,” you raised your glass for a toast, “Want me to teach you a couple of tricks?”

“Like what?”

“Y’all have a sex shop around here?”

“A what?”

You looked at Nathalie with wide eyes as if she had told you the earth was flat.

“You’re kidding me,” you raised your voice but immediately backed down and grabbed your phone, “No judgment! The internet will save us all. So what are some things you are into?”

As you were going through some of your favorite products on your phone, you heard the loud sound of an engine, and a car pulled up in Casey’s driveway. You watched the hot workout guy get off the car and head straight into the garage instead of inside the house.

“Hey, Nat, who’s this?”

“Girl, don’t even!” Nathalie immediately protested, “His wife would tear you to shreds.”

“What did I do?!”

“You breathed. You’re the only single in this entire neighborhood and a hot piece of ass. Your chances of survival are very slim.”

Shortly after, he emerged by his pool in his red swimming shorts and immediately jumped into the water to do laps. Your lips parted at the sight, and you spoke without even thinking.

“God, he gives me a massive lady boner.”

“BITCH!”

“What? I can’t control who’s turning me on, can I?” you stretched your hands to the side, “Seriously, who is it?”

Nathalie let out a defeated sigh, “That’s Chris. Or as Casey keeps correcting people, Dr. Bang.”

Dr. Bang me all night long, indeed.

“Casey… Casey… Cas—  He’s married to Malibu Barbie?!”

Nathalie looked at you with raised brows and bust out a loud cackle, “That’s the most accurate description of her if I ever heard one.”

“So he’s a doctor,” you nudged her for more information.

“Yeah, he has his own practice,” she continued, “He’s been to second base with all the ladies of Sunderland at one point.”

“You too?”

“Of course.”

“Damn, the dude’s a player, huh?” you turned to his direction again.

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous! He’s a cosmetic surgeon,” Nathalie immediately corrected you, “There’s not a pair of tits in this town that hasn’t seen his magnificent treatment.”

“Oh…” your eyes inadvertently shifted to her chest, “I mean your tits are indeed awesome.”

“I know right?” she grabbed her breasts and mischievously smiled, “Granted, most people use breast implants as an excuse to ethically spend time with him.”

“Why? Does he grant wishes or whatever?”

“It’s the way he talks, sweetie,” she munched on her croissant, “The guy’s Australian.”

Oh, GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK! 

“Hot doctor dude with a hotter accent and he’s taken?” you whined a bit too loudly, “Well, fuck my life indeed.”

“Yeah, sorry,” she swallowed her bite and gave you a pat on your back, “You can always consider breast implants, though.”

“I’m good, Nat, thank you.”

A doctor. Ridiculously good-looking. Seemed well-off. Of course every job came with a certain amount of stress, but why did he throw himself into physical activity the second he arrived home?

“Every time I see him he’s working out, though,” you spoke, your eyes still on Chris.

“And? Sue the guy for wanting to keep fit.”

“That’s not it,” you insisted, “He’s overdoing it a little bit. Like he’s angry or some stuff. Why is that?”

“So what if he likes working out?”

“Nat…”

When you stood firm with your observation, Nathalie heaved a sigh and scooted closer to you.

“Between you and me, Casey loves flaunting him around, but I don’t think their marriage is what she makes it out to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’ve seen Little Miss Perfect, right? She acts like she’s living in a reality show,” then she continued with even a lower voice, “But rumor has it they don’t even have sex.”

What an interesting piece of information, indeed!

“And… he’s okay with it?”

“I doubt it.”

“So, what is it? Is he like— seeking the company of other people?”

“As if! Everyone’s dead scared of Casey.”

Well, you weren’t.

The more you kept watching him, the more Chris reminded you of the surfers you knew from your time at Kirra Point.

Sunkissed friendly guys who would get you soaked just with their filthy mouths.

Well-behaved guys who were into kinky shit behind closed doors.

Considerate guys who would mark their girls in their beds.

Laid-back guys who fucking lost their shit when someone else touched what was theirs.

You wondered if Chris was one of them.

From that day on, you stopped fighting the urge that had been bubbling inside you. Not only was Chris fucking gorgeous, but his vibe was way more distinctive than his cigar-smoking, scotch-drinking, golf-playing counterparts. You hadn’t even talked to him once, but he had already colonized every single corner of your mind. He was the only thing you could think about every time you touched yourself.

“Just what the fuck are you doing being the Ken to that Malibu Barbie?” you uttered out loud in your bed one night, “A man like you belongs with me.”

“Fuck!”

You were supposed to head to the city center that day to run some errands, and of course that would be the day you had a flat tire. Right when you walked back to your driveway to search for some auto shop nearby, you noticed your neighbor’s garage door was very much open.

Maybe every cloud indeed had a silver lining after all. 

“Nice ride,” you pointed at the Maserati as you walked into the garage, “I’m assuming you also have a car jack?”

“A car jack?” Chris spoke with his back still turned to you.

“I have a flat tire. I haven’t been able to get all my garage stuff yet.”

When he turned around, you established your first eye contact with him. His gaze on you shouldn’t have affected you so maybe, but you felt shocked from head to toe although you didn’t let it show.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” he launched a pair of dimples and extended his hand to you, “I’m Chris.”

“Y/N. I just moved across the street,” you pointed to your house.

“Nice to meet ya. I’ll go get the jack.”

Nothing too extraordinary. His sandbag you were a bit too familiar with hung to the ceiling, some boxes he stored in his garage, a bunch of tools lying here and there… It didn’t tell much about who he really was.

“What brings you to Sunderland?” Chris came back momentarily without being able to find the jack, “This is not really a place to move to unless you have to be here.”

“Very long story. I’ll tell you sometime,” you smiled and leaned against the wooden desk, “What do you do?”

“I’m a doctor.”

“Specialty?”

“Cosmetic surgeon.”

“Oh, goodie, are you doing give-a-shitometer implants because I need one to survive here.”

Chris involuntarily burst into laughter at your words. It had been a while since he genuinely laughed at something.

And the sound of his voice gave you an extreme case of butterfly invasion.

“Unfortunately, can relate.” 

He was still looking around to look for your request, and you decided to fill in the silence with some more small talk.

“Got any kids?”

“No. Happily married without children.”

There was something in his voice that you were a bit too familiar with. It was the exact tone you used when you were trying to pass something as trivial. You cocked a brow and snorted.

“Wow, do they not teach you about the dark arts of lying in med school?”

“Excuse me?”

“Hey, I don’t know you from Adam. You might be a great doctor, but you’re a horrible liar, man,” you crossed your arms over your chest, “You don’t have to take me up on the offer, but I’ll just put it out there that I’m around if you ever need someone to talk to.” 

Chris had found the jack by then so you walked over to him to grab it from his hands.

“Or other things if you ever need it,” you winked at him and reassuringly smiled, which caused him to get flustered for some reason.

“Ot–other things?”

“You know, information,” you shrugged, “Not only am I very perceptive, but I’m also great at research.” 

“Yeah? Anything interesting you’ve perceived so far?”

His tone changed to something much more playful. If you didn’t know any better, you would be inclined to say that he was… flirting with you.

“For starters, I know sexual frustration when I see it,” you brazenly grinned, “That’s why you box a lot, isn’t it?

His expression immediately transformed into shock, which was how you knew you hit the nail on the head. 

“And I’m very discreet. I can keep your secrets too if you want,” you nonchalantly uttered, “It’s been a while since you had some back-arching, toe-curling sex, hasn’t it?” 

Chris was completely stunned, having less than zero clue as to how to respond to that. He didn’t deny it, nor did he tell you to mind your own business for that matter. With the courage you derived from that, you continued.

“What is it? Vanilla lady just lays there and you do all the work?”

No, that wasn’t it. His eyes darted to the floor and you could see his ears getting concerningly red.

“Or is it because you’re too much of a deviant?” you carried on with a smaller voice, “I know for a fact that not everyone can handle that shit.”

He was drawing a total blank. It shouldn’t have been hard to refute, but he clearly enjoyed your blatant flirting considering the smile he was trying to hide with a discreet bite of his lips. Unfortunately for him, you noticed that, too.

“I uh– I don’t– I’m–”

“Sweetheart, are you—? Oh. Hello.”

“What’s up, Barbie?” you greeted the owner of the voice with a salute of two fingers on your forehead, completely unfazed by her presence.

“Casey. We met the other day,” she spoke with a forced smile, “Did you need something?”

“Yup. This bad boy,” you held the car jack.

One needed to be next-level dumb not to notice Casey was looking at you with absolute malice. Chris might have learned how to block the fuck out of it considering how unresponsive he was, but you knew that look. You had seen it many times before directly targeted at you.

“It’s good that I ran into you,” Casey walked over to Chris and linked her arm with his, “We’re hosting our annual fall dinner at the end of the month. You should definitely come!”

Good fucking grief, who knew what the fuck kind of ulterior motive this woman had. Then again, one thing she did not yet know about you was how much of a thick skin you had, and this could be your ultimate chance to put this woman in her place. 

“Sure,” you shrugged and readily accepted her invitation, “Can I bring a friend?”

“Of course! Feel free to bring a date.”

“As much as I’m not married, I also don’t have a partner.”

“I can arrange someone for you!”

“Casey,” Chris warned looking to his left.

Goddamn, Barbie. Way to be subtle about your neurotic tendencies.

“Nor am I looking for one,” you reflected her fake smile back at her, “I meant Nathalie and her husband from two doors down.”

“Oh,” Casey stole a look from Chris and smiled again, “Why not? The more the merrier.”

“Then it’s a date,” you chirped, “Thanks for the jack, Chris.”

“Oh, actually,” Casey corrected you, “It’s Dr. Bang.”

“Ah, of course,” you exaggeratedly reverenced all the way to the floor, “Please accept my eternal gratitude for the car-lifter his almighty excellency, Dr. Bang. I am but a humble servant to your whims whenever you wish, your grace.”

Chris laughed so loudly at your antics that it seemed to have made his wife much angrier.

“And I mean it,” you winked at him teasingly and walked away.

One thing you learned that day for sure was that Casey did not like you.

It wasn’t really discernible. You were reading a book on the swing on your balcony when you heard some yelling in the distance, followed by Chris loudly slamming his front door close and driving off into the night. 

If this is not the proof that suburbia dreams are a scam, I swear to fucking god…

After some time, the night air became a lot chillier, and you decided to walk inside, which was when you heard a knock on your door. Nobody had ever knocked on your door besides Nathalie, much less during nighttime.

“Chris?” you wrapped yourself in your shawl while opening the door, “What are you doing here?”

“Does your offer still stand?” he looked at you with a mixture of desperation and annoyance, “I just need someone to talk to.”

“What’s your poison?” you stepped aside for him to come in, “Scotch? Wine?”

“Gin.”

“The best I can do is vodka.”

“Fucking deal.”

You grabbed two glasses from your cabinet and momentarily returned to your living room couch.

“If you don’t mind me asking, don’t you have any friends?” you started pouring the drinks, “Like male ones your wife won’t flip out about.”

“They are worse than the women populating this neighborhood. You say one thing and it travels all the way to the city council by the next morning,” Chris grabbed the glass and downed the content in one go, “Nothing they already don’t know about anyway.”

“So I’m getting the executive summary on your household drama,” you attempted some lighthearted humor to ease his apparent tension, “Good to know.”

He let out a faint chuckle, and while you were expecting him to start talking, only silence followed.

“I actually don’t even know why I came here.”

“Because you needed a friend,” you gently touched his shoulder, “You can vent as much as you want. I meant it when I said I’m very discreet.”

And boy did he go off. 

Why the fuck did people always have to do everything together, huh? Maybe sometimes he fucking needed his space. Come to think of it, Chris needed his space all the time. Couldn’t people just get the fucking hint? If someone was not spending time with you, it meant they fucking wanted to be away from you, and he was sick of locking himself in his clinic. He wanted his goddamn work and personal spaces to be separate; was that too much to ask? It wasn’t like there were any places he could go to in this godforsaken town anyway. If he could, he would, and he would only come home to sleep. He was seriously considering investing in a shooting range in this town because otherwise he was going to fucking kill someone.

Chris was completely breathless by the end of his monologue while you were looking at him with a calm expression.

“Feeling better?”

“Loads,” he answered, having massively calmed down by then.

You didn’t ask any questions. It didn’t look like Chris could answer many of them in that headspace anyway. You just lent your listening ear to him and kept refilling his glass until he was all vented out. After about an hour later, he noticed what time it was.

“Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry. I should go,” Chris got up from the couch, “Thank you so much for listening to me.”

“Anytime.”

You walked him to the front door to see him off, thinking about how to properly do it. A handshake after a heart-to-heart talk was going to be too formal. A kiss on the cheek might have been too familiar. A hug. A hug was the way to go. It was friendly, but not too intimate. Everybody hugged, after all, right? It didn’t have to mean anything else. You opened your arms to offer him an embrace and he reciprocated. That was it. Everything was going fine. Zero damage.

Until he decided to fucking linger and steal a whiff of your scent from your neck.

You were dead scared to face him and look into his eyes. His big, sad eyes that seemed to harbor some inexplicable restlessness. You wanted to kiss him. Just once. Feel his perfectly plush lips between yours. You just knew he was a good kisser. He would get you so wet just with that moist pair of flesh alone. You could make him cum just by kissing his face off if he let you. 

You didn’t even realize how you were pulling at each other like magnets. The distance between you was almost completely closed when he suddenly stopped himself.

“Do you uh– Do you mind exchanging numbers?”

“Right!” you immediately backed away like somebody pinched you, “Of course.”

He handed you his phone for you to type in your digits, and you called yourself to save his number. After that, there was nothing else left for him to do but leave.

“I um– Yeah, good night.”

“Good night, Chris.”

Once you closed the door behind him, you dashed to your window and watched him walk towards his home with his hands in his pockets. To pretend everything was fine and that he didn’t have a shred of worry in this world. As if he wasn’t trapped within the tight walls of the holy institution of marriage. Who did they think they were kidding? Was this entire town experiencing a collective case of blindness, or did everybody just go along with it? If they did, just fucking why?

That Malibu Barbie-tch was never going to leave him alone. Except maybe for a casual greeting on the street, or making up excuses to borrow stuff from each other, there was no way for you to see him again unless he came to see you.

You really wanted him to come and see you. Just once more. To shelter him from whatever it was that was making him so unhappy.

Until then—if that was ever going to happen, that is—all you were able to do was text one another. About whatever. The basketball game last night, some documentary, ‘You’ll never guess who walked into my clinic today’, which happened to be the mayor’s wife coming in for a butt lift. Stuff that one would assume you would be able to talk to your spouse with. But he was talking about them with you instead. Days were passing by and nothing was happening. 

Except something was happening to you, and you fucking hated that feeling.

It was another lonely night. While watching some rom-com to diss the couples you saw on the screen out loud, you had seen the bottom of a pretty decent rosé bottle already, and you were contemplating whether you should open a second one. You might have been watching a movie to keep the front end of your brain occupied, but you were thinking about Chris again in the background. You were thinking about him a lot.

With all the courage granted to you by the dumb decision juice, you grabbed your phone and opened his message tab.

You Wyd? Chris Can’t sleep. Netflixing. What u doing up so late? You Alcohol intake [Typing…] You alone? Chris Yeah You Where is she? Chris On a plane coming home unfortunately [Typing…]

He stopped typing. You had seen Malibu Barbie just that morning jogging like a reality star followed by cameras, which meant she was out of town for less than twenty-four hours, but more importantly, Chris said she was ‘unfortunately’ coming home.

Huh.

You I can see you typing Finish that sentence Chris [Typing…] Been thinking about you

Goddammit, Aussie dude!!!

Being a cool-ass woman was a matter of pride for you, so you thanked everything fucked up and twisted that there was nobody around to see how much that stupid text made you giggle.

You May have been thinking about you too Chris What are you thinking about? You What are you thinking about? Chris I asked you first

He wanted to know what you were thinking about? Fine. You took off your bottoms in one go, sat down in front of your full-length mirror, spread your legs apart, and took several pictures. After deciding on the one that showcased the gloss on your folds the best, you hit send.

You [IMG_301.jpg] Your mouth right here Chris [Typing…] Are you trying to drive me fucking insane????? You Maybe :) [Typing…]

Was that too much? That had got to be too much. Then again Chris didn’t outright tell you what the fuck you were doing, and one could argue that he gave you a rather satisfactory reaction instead. Maybe he was as drunk as you. Maybe he was also thinking about it. If shit hit the fan, you could always blame it on the alcohol, apologize, and call it a day.

But not without shooting your shot first.

Chris You’re doing it this time Finish that sentence You [Typing…] Can I send you an invite? Chris For? You Some fun [Link] “Vibe with neonredlights on Connected.” Download this app Chris [Typing…] You’re underestimating me [Link] “CB69 is inviting you for a Connected session.” You really shouldn’t

Yeah, apparently you absolutely shouldn’t have, but how in the genuine fuck did Chris know about Connected in the first place? You had never seen a guy owning a remote-controlled vibrator for himself before, and you would bet good money no one in the vanillaest town ever that was Sunderland knew how to spell sex toys. Unless you were playing solo, the app required knowing another person’s username to directly connect to them within a 200-feet radius, and that was all the evidence you needed to conclude that Chris’ frustration levels were through the fucking roof.

So the rumors were true. So that was why he was obsessed with excessively working out every single day.

They weren’t having sex.

You 🧍‍♂️ You own a fucking stroker???? Chris :) [Typing…] I can see you Why don’t u come closer to your bedroom window? You [Typing…] Can I hear you too? Chris [Typing…] What’s the point of letting me play with you if I can’t hear your voice? In that case... Your partner CB69 wants to start a video session.

The excitement was too much to handle all of a sudden. Not only were you going to see him in all his fucking glory, you were also about to make each other feel good. So good that you were sure it was going to be beyond either of your wildest dreams.

But the call screen disappeared before you could take it, and a text followed instead.

Chris Fucking… There’s someone at the door To be continued? Please?

You let out a heavily frustrated sigh as this was the worst case of blue balls you had ever experienced. When you stole a quick glance from his gate, you saw that it was Casey waiting for the door to be opened. You cursed a mouthful and responded.

You You bet

It might not have gone as you pictured it, but that night you still came to the thought of Chris playing with you however the fuck he pleased.

“I did something bad.”

You weren’t looking for Nathalie to condone what you did. You just wanted to get it out of your chest because you weren’t exactly sure you were allowed past the threshold of a church. 

“What did you do?”

“You mean who did I do…”

She tilted her head, indicative of the fact that she knew where this was about to go, and let out somewhat of a scared whine.

“Oh, god, not Chris!”

“Well, technically I didn’t do him,” you darted your eyes to your glass and continued with a smaller voice and at a faster pace, “We sorta sexted the other night.”

“You WHAT?!”

“Look, I’ll listen to your scolding in a second, but he also came by my place some time ago,” when her eyes widened even more you immediately continued, “Nothing happened, I swear. We just talked.”

“And?”

“The man’s in horrible shape, Nat. He seems so unhappy.”

“That’s literally none of your concern.”

You were getting a bit frustrated at the whole let the sleeping Caseys lie attitude of this entire fucking neighborhood. Just what the fuck did this woman have as leverage to scare everyone not to even have a genuine conversation with Chris? Or did she even have anything for that matter? What if it was all a big fat bluff, and nobody was fucking calling it?

“Looks like it ain’t anybody’s concern, either. Aren’t you guys friends with this man?”

Shame. You recognized that expression wherever you saw it.

“I’ll talk to Jisung to make some time for him. Just don’t get yourself in trouble until we know more, okay?”

Well, you could at least try. 

That afternoon, you went to the city center for some shopping and you ended up making a day for yourself, just checking out shops, walking at the park, and having dinner somewhere by yourself. By the time you got home, it was already dark and you were dead tired.

As you were in your room getting changed, you caught a glimpse of the illuminated pool of your neighbor. You recalled the memories of how he frantically swam in it like he was trying to soothe some burn. The way he slicked his wet hair back when he got out, drops of water trickling down his perfectly sculpted body, his bulging arms, his large hands, his thick thighs…

Oh, god.

You felt yourself getting wet at the mere thought of him again. You were never not getting turned on by this guy lately. If only there was a way to manifest him in your room every time you felt that way because—

Chris Hey

Well, that was quick.

Hey. A simple opener. A casual greeting. Literally no meaning behind it.

Yet it immediately fried your brain.

Chris [Typing…] You awake? You I am Chris You looked so pretty today :) You Thank you :) Where did you see me? Chris Passing by my clinic You Oh your clinic is around the square? Chris Yup I’m still there actually You What are you doing there all by yourself at this hour? Chris Currently? [Typing…] Thinking about you I can’t concentrate

A sudden rush of excitement immediately started coursing through your body. It wasn’t an assumption; he was as aroused as you were. You were looking for a quip to hit him back with, but Chris took your one chance of snark away from you.

Chris I want to touch you so bad

There was no other way around it but to just dive into the water headfirst.

You Just touch? Chris [Typing…] Among a lot of things I want to show you how good I can make you feel

Fuuuck this guy entirely!

Your breath hitched in your throat. You climbed on your bed and started replaying all the fantasies you had about him from the top.

You You ever been to the Ritz in Mayweather? Chris For conference only You Their suites are to die for Wanna go sometime? Chris [Typing…]

Waiting for that reply was fucking torture, but you were completely entranced, just looking at your screen with your lips parted as if you were having this conversation with him face to face. Was his heart beating as fast as yours? Was he also imagining all the things he would do to you? Was he thinking about you as often as you were thinking about him? Was he cumming to the thought of you at all?

Chris It would be fucking amazing Just the two of us Spending the entire 24 hours in a room Fucking I wanna drive you insane

In all honesty, who would drive whom insane was up for debate, but it was nice to hear that he was up for the challenge. You couldn’t help biting into your smile.

You I would dress up for you you know Chris You would? [Typing…] What would you wear? You I have a respectable collection of black lace You like bralettes? Chris LOVE them Show me You Not so easy Show me what I’m doing to you first Chris [IMG302.jpeg]

You literally felt your sanity evaporate when you saw how flushed and hard he was. Just how the fuck was he this… fucking… gorgeous?!?!

You FUCK [Typing…] I’m salivating all of a sudden Chris Your turn

You jumped from your bed to change into one of your favorite lingerie combinations. Then you laid on your bed face down with your feet up, snapped a picture in the mirror, and sent it to him.

Chris I hope you’re not attached to those I so wanna rip them off you [Typing…] Talk to me baby

You wondered what it would actually feel like if he said that to you while looking right into your eyes. When he was hovering over your body. When he was touching you. Kissing you. Filling you up over and over again just to fuck his cum deeper into you. 

Talk to me, baby. 

Give it to me, baby. 

I’m yours, baby.

Unbeknownst to yourself, you started stroking yourself over your underwear.

You I want to know what you taste like I want to know what I taste like on your lips But even better I want you to know what you taste like spilling out of me

Chris was definitely playing everything through in his head on the other end of the line. Every time you were waiting for his reply, it felt like some undiscovered part of you was getting filled with excessive amounts of anticipation, and the second you received that text, it morphed into elation and released as complete zeal all over your body.

Chris Fucking Keep going Please [Typing…] I’m so fucking close

Out of complete instinct, you took your top off and sent him a picture of your breasts with your nipples visibly hardened.

You [IMG303.jpeg] I wanna feel you cum on these Chris [Typing…]

He stopped typing. All of a sudden, that little indicator turned into something so unexpected that it immediately skyrocketed your blood pressure, causing your heart to thump in your ears.

Chris [Recording audio…]

He was fucking recording. You weren’t able to mentally prepare yourself for what he was about to send you. It could be fifteen different things. Maybe a song playing in the background. Maybe a sentence. Maybe… Maybe… 

Chris Audio (1:22)

By then, you were so overwhelmed with desire that your hands were shaking when you were about to press play.

There was no way you were the same woman you once were after listening to Chris’ voice, pleasuring himself to the thought of you, moaning, panting, whining, and begging to the ghost of you for his release. The recording hadn’t even finished when you felt a sudden peak in your arousal and came untouched to the sounds of his pleasure.

Chris I’m fucking gone [Typing…] You’re amazing

You bit into your smile, experiencing this kind of an afterglow for the first time ever, and responded to him.

You Good night handsome :) [Typing…] I’ll see you tomorrow at dinner

Who knew, maybe Casey was right. Maybe your soulmate was really right around the corner in the literal sense of the word.

You appeared at your host’s doorstep with Jisung and Nathalie, clueless about what to expect from the night. Chris was the one to greet you by the door, and once he let the Hans in, he turned to you. There seemed to be sparks flying between you two, and once he caught a glimpse of the intricate front straps of your bralette under the oversized shirt you were wearing, it almost short-circuited his brain.

“You– you wore black lace.”

“I told you I would,” you winked and handed him the bottle of wine you brought.

“Welcome to our home! You absolutely shouldn’t have,” Casey snatched the bottle from Chris’ hands and gestured towards the living room, “Come in!”

Your trio seemed to be the last people to arrive although you came in at 8 PM sharp. You sat next to Nathalie while exchanging greetings with the rest of the guests, and Casey started serving dinner.

“So Y/N, we never had a chance to speak. What do you do?” she asked while bringing you a bowl of soup, “Besides seducing the entire neighborhood with those looks, I mean.”

“Casey.”

“I’m kidding, Chrissy! Learn to take a joke, christ,” she pseudo-playfully scoffed at her husband and turned to the table with an exaggerated laugh, “Doctors, am I right?”

Well, no, you’re not.

You looked at her with a faint smile, very much aware of what she was trying to do. What she was trying to make you out to be. You responded with as much composure as the docile women of the table possessed.

“I’m a freelance translator.”

“Freelance translator? Does that pay a lot of money?”

“Casey!”

“What?” she looked at Chris, seemingly not following what he was so scandalized over, “I’m just a little surprised that someone is able to pay a mortgage in Sunderland just by freelancing, that’s all.”

So that was how she played, huh? The lead cheerleader of the team, doing and saying whatever the fuck she pleased and no one else besides her husband even dared to tell her to take it down a notch no matter how uncomfortable she made them.

“When you know five languages, it’s easier than you think,” you replied with your smile getting wider, “Do you speak any languages, Casey?”

But she wasn’t used to this. She wasn’t used to anyone one-upping her in any capacity because god forbid if anyone ever surpassed Casey Bang by the narrowest of margins. There was a collective silent conviction that she would kill everyone in their sleep.

Nevertheless, all she was able to do is to shoot you a blank stare with her lips parted.

“I’ll bring the chicken,” Casey got up to her feet with a defeated smile while you happily munched on the roasted sweet potatoes on your plate. You could swear Chris was a part of Nathalie and Jisung’s silent entertainment bubble watching you throw snark at the prom queen.

Me: 1 — Malibu Barbie-tch: 0

Casey didn’t bother you for the rest of the evening after learning her lesson. Little did she know, these were only basic tutorial sessions and the main lectures were a long way away. As she got engrossed in a very heated debate over this year’s Met Gala looks with her entourage, you silently asked Chris.

“Where’s your restroom?”

“I’ll show you.”

You followed him to the guest bathroom on the second floor. As you were about to go in, Chris stopped you.

“I’m really sorry on her behalf,” he spoke with a genuinely apologetic voice, “She just can’t tolerate any kind of competition.”

“I’m flattered she thinks there’s competition,” you leaned into the doorframe, “but it seems like she can’t tolerate her husband, either.”

That very same caught-off-guard expression as the day in his garage. He looked like he didn’t know what to say.

“It’s– That’s–”

“Trouble in paradise, Chrissy?”

“No, everything’s fine.”

That response was such a knee-jerk reaction that it was obvious he was lying. You took one step towards him and touched his arm.

“How hard did you cum to the thought of me last night?”

He was instantly flushed at your unexpected question.

“I uh– That’s… You– you heard—”

“Not enough. I wanna know what you really sound like,” you took one more step and started talking in whispers, “Not only did I absolutely cum untouched to your voice, I soaked my goddamn mattress listening to you. You’re the sexiest fucking thing, handsome.”

You noticed how he twitched under his pants, and your mouth was watering at his hardening bulge. Your hand started moving by itself as if it had a mind on its own.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Giving you a hand.”

He shuddered at the simple brush of your fingers, and a quiet groan escaped his lips.

“Good god, how long has it been since you’ve been touched?”

“C-Casey’s downstairs.”

“Aren’t you sick and tired of being taken for granted, gorgeous?” you tilted your head and feigned the fakest innocence, “Don’t you wanna be reminded of what a magnificent man you are?”

He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. You were literally taking his breath away, paralyzing him with your mere words.

“Someone’s gonna see us,” he spoke very throatily, acutely aware he was already neck-deep in trouble. Yet it wasn’t fear painting his voice.

This excited him.

“So your concern is getting caught.”

You pulled him inside the bathroom in one swift motion and closed the door behind you.

“It’s not that hard to stop me and put an end to this,” you slowly loosened the button of his jeans and halted your movements, “But you want it too, don’t you?”

You weren’t doing anything else, just standing there right in front of him with two of your hands on each side of the sink, trapping Chris in that confined space. He was a man with spectacular physical stamina, so if he wanted to get out, he could easily do so. Any time he wanted. Scold you. Chastise you. Shun you out of his house and tell you to never speak to him again.

But he didn’t.

“You want me,” you quietly spoke against his neck.

“We shouldn’t,” he gulped trying to get a hold of his sanity, but his eyes were closed, “We really shouldn’t.”

It was obvious Chris was sitting for the ultimate test of willpower, and the way he was miserably failing at it was entertaining the shit out of you.

“You hear that faint sound?” you brushed the back of your index finger against his chest and dragged it down, “It’s the rules whispering to us to ignore them.”

He smelled heavenly. Woody. Oceany. Subtlest hints of musk and spice. He smelled like the refreshing breezes of Kirra Point.

“Tell me to stop and I will,” you placed the smallest kiss on his jawline, “But once I touch you, there’s no turning back.”

He couldn’t do it. He did not possess the physical or mental faculties to opt for what he knew was the logical choice. Chris was burning from head to toe, so much so that you could feel the heat waves emitting from his body washing over you. He had resisted so many things in his life up until that moment, but you… A dangerous enchantress. A fearless seductress. An irresistible temptress.

Everybody had a weak spot, and for Chris, it was you. 

“Let me take care of you,” your hand started sliding past his waistband, getting dangerously close to where he needed you the most, “I promise it’ll feel much better than your stroker.”

And once you palmed him, you could fucking swear you both felt that jolt of electricity jumping from skin to skin.

“Oh, fuck,” he breathily cursed through his teeth as his eyes rolled back. You started stroking him with a very languid rhythm.

“God, you’re so hard,” you rested your head on his shoulder, “Bet it feels incredible to sit on.”

He squeezed his eyes tight. Chris was so turned on that he was about to combust. With every flick of your wrist, his breathing escalated like he was sprinting.

“You want me to sit on you, don’t you?” you faced him again, “You’re wondering what it feels like to actually fuck me.”

That was the moment Chris gave up and completely let go.

“Touch me more,” he pulled you closer from your waist while relaxing against the sink, “Don’t– don’t stop.”

You placed his hand on your chest and let him fondle your breasts. He throbbed under your touch at the contact.

“Would you like to fuck me, handsome?” you spoke softly, “You can, you know. You can fuck your troubles away. Take all your frustration out on me.”

It had been so long. Too long since he felt a speck of lust for someone. Someone he knew in person for that matter rather than nameless strangers fucking on camera for a living. Now there you were, utterly drowning him in the depths of desire, pushing his head down underwater just to see for how long he could hold his breath.

And he was fucking loving it.

“You are so handsome, you know that right?” you filled your lungs with his scent, “You’re just so… so… so sexy.”

You calling him those names was killing him. He couldn’t open his eyes. If he did, one look at your face and he was going to violently erupt. He wanted to relish this stolen feeling for as long as he could. Melt under your touch. Feel himself get out of his own body. Of his reality. Of this burdensome life. 

With you.

“You wanna know what it feels like inside me?” you lightly chuckled, “It feels really warm. Really really wet, too.”

“Faster.”

“And so tight,” you gently squeezed him, “If I clench once, you’ll fucking finish five seconds in.”

“Fucking god, I’m– I’m gonna cum.”

You freed yourself from his grip and shoved his leaking cock down your throat, quietly humming to provide little vibrations for a more brutal orgasm. Chris came so hard that he had to grab the hand towel nearby and scream into it. It was everything he had imagined and more. Savagely thrilling. Scorching hot. Mindnumbingly delicious.

“You taste fucking amazing, handsome,” you wiped your mouth and placed a tiny kiss on the tip of his nose, “Gather your wits. Then come back downstairs.”

You washed your hands and left Chris in the bathroom to collect himself. When you made your way back, you were instantly subjected to Casey’s interrogation.

“There you are! Where did you run off to?”

“I was trying to find where your safe is. You know, to pay my mortgage,” you looked at the rest of the table with a smile, “Can I have some more wine, please?”

Not too long after, Chris also returned to the table, basically floating on air in utter bliss.

“Everything okay, honey?”

“Yeah, um– Work,” he flashed his phone from his back pocket.

You decided to use the moment to give Casey a taste of her own medicine and started bombarding her with questions like a stress interview.

“So, Casey where did you graduate from?”

“Yale.”

“Class of?”

“2010.”

“What did you major in?”

“English. What is up with the interrogation, though, am I right?” she laughed a little nervously.

“No reason,” you took a sip from your wine, “I just think you’re an incredible woman.”

She pressed her hand on her chest with somewhat of a moved look on her face, “Aw, thank you.”

You and Nathalie exchanged a brief knowing look and returned to your fruit parfaits.

“Thank you very much for tonight,” you thanked Casey as they were seeing you off and then spoke directly addressing Chris, “Everything was excellent.”

Several question marks had already formed in your head about Casey and that night was just the salt and pepper on top of everything. It was pretty late already, but this couldn’t wait. The second you got back home, you grabbed your phone and called Minho.

“What do you want?”

“What’s up fuckface? I missed you too,” you exchanged your usual greeting with him.

“This better be important. Shh, shh, it’s okay, baby, I can still keep fucking you.”

“Minho, am I legit interrupting a dicking down session right now?”

“If you don’t start talking, I’m hanging up. Oh, fuck yeah, just like that.”

“Ugh, fine. I need intel,” you managed to suppress your nausea, “Get me everything you can about all the Caseys who graduated from Yale in 2010.”

“There are twenty-three variants to that name. Text me the correct spelling. That’s it, baby, take it.”

“Oh my god, fine, just don’t cum when I’m on the phone!”

“As if you haven’t done that before. Fuck, don’t stop!”

“Don’t be gross. Get back to me as soon as you can.”

“OH, GOD, YES!!!”

You threw your phone on the coffee table and yourself on the couch, watching the ceiling for some time while replaying the entire night in your head.

You’re hiding something, Malibu Barbie, and I will find out what it is.

NEXT CHAPTER »

AUTHOR'S NOTE

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Meet the horniest Chris I've created to date. You're welcome. Sound ref: moon xx (several sources retrieved and compiled from creator's public content)

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🔖Story taglist: @gabbunnyy ; @arashihiss ; @ayoitschannie ; @lalal-99

The glass doors open with a creak, warmth spilling from the inside. “Are you not cold?”

Hyunjin smiles to himself before turning to face you. His white dress shirt is baggier on you than it is him, the scent of his cologne rolling off it. Your hair is a bit messy, disheveled from the silk sheets. Makeup is smeared under your tired eyes in a way that he thinks is charming. 

“I thought you were sleeping.” He responds before taking another long drag. 

“I was.” With your thumb and pointer finger, you take the cigarette from him and bring it to your own lips. “It’s hard when the bed is empty.”

There’s no way to stop the chuckle that leaves his lips. “I’m sorry, love. I just assumed you were used to it.”

The joke is in poor taste, and frankly he wouldn’t blame you if you put the cigarette out on his face. Instead you give a dry laugh, rolling your eyes as you inhale the sweetly poisonous smoke. “Doesn’t mean I like it.”

His motions are gentle. Cupping your face, using his thumbs to both brush your hair back and stroke the apples of your cheeks. Your pretty eyes blink up at him, stars reflecting in their depths. Out of all the wonders he experiences, you are his favorite. 

“I just wanted a smoke.” Hyunjin says in a low whisper. “I promise to be back soon.” It’s locked in with a kiss to each cheek, and one between your eyebrows. 

Something he’s learned from living in the public eye is that a lot of things are fleeting. Words are empty, nobody really trusts anybody for all the right reasons. Everybody wants something from him, all for their own benefit. 

But not you. You’re the most honest thing in his life. 

Taking a step out of his hold, you give a warm smile. “You better, or I’ll push you off this balcony.”

“As is your right, love.”

And then you’re gone, the ghost of your perfume left to surround him when the doors shut. The wind steals it from him too soon, the loneliness that remains all consuming. What’s the point of this life if without you, everything is worthless?

Hyunjin smokes the cigarette down to the end, stubbing it out on the metal railing. The bud falls over the edge, landing in the tiny puddle the rain has made.

His shirt is crumpled on the floor again. On the bed, you lay bare on your stomach, facing away from the balcony door. The sheets sit on your hips, entire back lit by the few remaining candles. Flames dance as Hyunjin walks past them, slowly stripping himself of the robe he only put on to step outside in. The last thing the papers need are pictures of his form decorating them. 

The bed shifts under his weight, knees on the mattress as he moves to lay behind you. Resting on his left arm, Hyunjin carefully brushes your hair off your shoulders. Giving him space to pepper kisses across your warm skin. 

“I know you’re awake.” He whispers near your ear, delighted when he’s rewarded with a sea of goosebumps. “Pay attention to me, darling.”

Carefully, you turn your head to face him. “I told you I can’t sleep in an empty bed.”

The city whispers rumors of his lover. A faceless woman some claim to have seen in passing — sneaking into his car late at night, glances of her stealing cigarettes from the star behind his trailer. 

Hyunjin rests his head on your pillow, hooking his arm around your waist. “I’m here. Why don’t you sleep now?”

It’s almost like she’s a ghost. Even he denies her existence; laughing off the accusations even when it comes from his closest friends. How cliche of a thought; the movie star with a normal lover, one who seems to blend in with every crowd.

You shift in the bed, letting your legs tangle with his. Fingers softly stroke his cheek, pushing the dark strands out of his eyes. “Because you’re here.”

But you’re not normal. If those who speak of you knew of you, everything he’s worked so hard for would be ripped from his hands-

The taste of you greets him once again, tongues dancing to a rhythm only the two of you can hear. With great care, you cup his face. Letting your bodies become one as you inhale him like a warm cigarette on a cold autumn’s night. 

-and you truly would become a ghost to him.

With great care, Hyunjin uses his hold on you to roll you onto your back. It would be a tragedy to break a kiss this heated, lips locked in as he climbs atop you. Your legs spread, welcoming him into your space once again. 

Fingers tangle in his dark locks, tugging with every nip on your lip. His large hand splays across your left hip, firmly pressing with his palm to keep you pinned to the bed. When his thumb strokes just above your mound, he feels the goosebumps rise under his touch. 

“Do you want me to touch you?” He whispers into the kiss, your whimpers making his lips vibrate. 

“Always.”

His hand dips lower, fingertips stroking your inner thigh. So close to your heat, he’s practically aflame. 

“Say it.”

In a life full of luxuries, anything he wants within reach, there’s only one thing he’ll ask for. Every single time, needing it more than the breath in his lungs.

You break the kiss, making sure to meet your eyes as you give him a smile the sun is jealous of. “I’m yours, Hyunjin. Everywhere. All the time.”

With that, his hand creeps down your leg until it finds your knee. Hiking it up as Hyunjin slides down the bed, taking only a moment to breathe before kissing down your thighs. He adjusts the other leg, making sure both feet rest on his shoulders before completely losing himself. 

The taste of you is sweet. Painstakingly careful, he draws a line from your clit to your entrance, making sure to savor every drop of you. Nothing quite compares to this; the soft noises you make when his tongue circles your hole, the twitching of your toes on his shoulder blades. 

What a shame it would be to waste something as delectable as you.

As he groans, his hands wrap around your ankles. Keeping you from squirming out of his grasp. “Fuck, I love this cunt.” He pulls back just to spit directly on your clit, huffing a laugh when your hips roll in response. “You're dripping all over my bed, sweetheart.”

God, he’s in love with you. The way you roll your head, the hands cupping your breasts. Gently, your thumbs press down on your nipples, mimicking the motion in which Hyunjin always touches you. Firm, fast, light. Enough to make your hole flutter around nothing. 

“Sorry.” You exhale a shaky breath that quickly turns into a moan when he starts drawing hearts with his tongue. “Can’t help m-myself.”

“Of course you can’t.” He mocks, applying a bit more pressure with his licks. From the way you start to twitch, knees touching above your head, it’s obvious how close you are. Overstimulated from the unwavering attention he gave you earlier this evening. 

You cry out his name in the most beautifully desperate way, back arching as your nails start to dig into your soft skin. Unspoken pleas and warnings; he needs to let you cum. You need him.

“Again.” Hyunjin commands. “Louder.”

Over and over, his name is shouted. Even as your voice begins to crack, the intensity of your orgasm almost too much for your body to handle, you don’t stop screaming. 

Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin.

Rolling off your tongue like it’s meant to be.

///

There’s a ray of sunlight where your body should be. It bleeds in from the velvet curtains, illuminating the emptiness of the star’s bed. Mindlessly, he traces the sheets, up and down and up and down. Wishing the warmth was coming from your skin and not the silk.

Hyunjin knew you would be gone in the morning. You always are; before the moon even fully disappears. Despite his begs, the dire need to wake up next to you, this is the way it has to be. To protect not only his reputation, but yourself. 

Every time you leave, he can’t help but wonder if it was a dream. Were you ever really here? Or just a figment of his imagination — the results of a high that leaves him feeling numb. 

But then he gets up. There’s the crumpled shirt, the smell of cigarettes and your rose perfume clinging to the fabric. In the bathroom, there are tissues. Stained with lipstick and eyeliner. The towel you used, your hair on his brush. Little reminders that you were here. Real. His, even if only for a brief moment. 

And his heart crumbles all over again, crying as the shower starts to turn cold. When you sneak out his backdoor, you’re no longer his. Lost to a world that doesn’t deserve you, a home that doesn’t love you in all the ways he does. 

Out of his grasp. A memory, nothing more. 

He stands under the water until his skin is numb, eyes burning from the stream of tears that don’t seem to have an end. The morning is a blur; he isn’t sure when he washed his face, or brushed his teeth. He doesn’t remember picking up the shirt you wore just hours later, putting it on to be surrounded by you yet again. How long has he been sitting in traffic?

Does it matter? 

Dark shades protect his eyes as he walks through the lot. The gazes of staff, costars, and the production team are heavy on him. Conspiracies whispered among them; is he high again? Maybe drunk? Both?

If only they knew how sober he actually was.

The trailer door slams loud enough to startle his friend, jumping a bit in his seat and making him drop the book in his hand. Sighing, the blonde runs his fingers through his hair. “Jin, you made me lose my spot.”

He pushes his sunglasses up, rubbing his eyes with the heels on his palms. After months in this trailer, he can navigate it with ease, finding his chair without even opening his eyes. “Sorry, Lix.”

With a sigh, the younger man flips through the book, so worn out it’s practically falling apart his hands. “You’re late.”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Felix hums as he finds his place, folding the corner so he doesn’t lose it again. “Is that why you reek of perfume?”

Hyunjin can’t even find it in himself to entertain his jab, nose twitching as he wills himself to keep composure. It’s not like he’s worried about crying in front of his friend, but what his team will think when they walk in. The inconsolable lead actor, hardly able to take a breath. The glass shards of his heart surrounding him, turning to dust over a woman who isn’t even his. 

“It’s getting harder and harder to cover for you.” Felix says as he throws a robe at him, a silent gesture to start getting changed. “Nobody is happy about you running late so frequently.”

Shaky fingers work on his shirt buttons, praying that your scent lingers on his skin. It keeps him sane. “Yeah, well without me there’s no movie.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to show up well past your call time.” Felix waits for his friend to put on the robe, plopping back down in the chair as he reaches for the straightener. “There were so many people looking for you today. I fucking lost count of who came in and out. The director even sent his wife-“

Everything that comes after that is lost, Hyunjin’s body turning cold as he starts to get dizzy. His mind tumbles with questions. When? For how long? Why?

If he spent less time in the shower, would he have been here when you came looking for him?

“-and I’m running out of excuses. If you want to keep this job-“

“I’ll apologize.” Hyunjin says firmly, taking slow breaths to try and steady his heart rate. “And get my shit together.”

He can’t tell if the apology is genuine, or to get his friend to quiet down so he can think. Frankly, he doesn’t care. You were here, looking for him — and he knows it’s not because you were told to. Risking exposing the little secret you two have been so careful about keeping. 

The first time he kissed you, it was raining. The clouds were so dark, day could easily be mistaken for night. Your lips were like clouds, so soft and easy to fall into. Hyunjin cupped your face, feeling your cheeks squish between his fingers. When your lips touched his, he knew it was over for him. Though he swore he wouldn’t fall in love with you, he was doomed from the beginning. 

When those three words were whispered to him, Hyunjin knew for certain. You were meant to be his, he yours. Nothing was right until you.

The speed in which he readies himself is impressive, out the trailer before an assistant can even time check him. You’re sitting by your husband when he walks on set, looking over the man’s shoulders as your eyes follow his movement. He only counts to four before you excuse yourself, making a beeline to the catering table. 

Acting like he doesn’t even notice you, Hyunjin stops beside you. Pretending to consider the pastry options.

“I came for you.” Your voice is but a whisper, almost lost in the chatter of the set. “Only Felix was in your trailer.”

“I missed you, too.” He’s smooth with his words, finally picking up a chocolate croissant. “If I knew you were planning on being here, I would’ve got here on time.”

The sigh you give is cute. Hyunjin can’t help the smile it brings him. “I wasn’t. I’m only here because he asked.”

No context is needed. The star can feel the director’s eyes burning holes into his back. “What a good wife you are.”

The two of you don’t exchange eye contact, dancing around the table as if you’re only there to grab a snack. 

“He noticed I was gone.” You say as you fill a styrofoam cup with hot water. 

“Hm, for once? How kind of him to not be distracted by a model this time.”

The laugh you give is dry. “At least I have the decency to hide my affair.” Oh. Ouch. There’s an ache in his chest that stings more than he could even imagine — that can’t be all you are to him, can it? “Meet me in your trailer after your scene?”

Hyunjin simply nods before bringing his cup of coffee to his lips. “You look cute in that dress.”

How many times does he have to watch you walk away? Giving your husband the most obnoxious fake smile as you hand him his tea, accepting a kiss to your cheek as a thank you.

Maybe Hyunjin doesn’t want this croissant. 

Seconds feel like hours, the actor finding it hard to focus on the scene. His head keeps spinning, you in the center of it. Unwanted thoughts keep plaguing his mind; maybe you are just an illusion, the love he thought you shared nothing but a fantasy. He loves you so much that it physically hurts, the hole in his chest when you’re away like pure torture. 

When he can steal glances at you, he does. Always focused on him, even if you’re tucked into your husband’s side. Almost as if you’re taunting him — look what you can never be.

Claws dig into his brain, gashing it open in slow swipes. With each gaping wound comes a blood curdling screams that only he can hear. It’s loud in his mind, reality out of his grasp as the painful emotions begin to swallow him whole. With all eyes on him. 

The clapperboard barely cuts through the noise, announcing the end of his scene. Before the director can even dismiss him, Hyunjin is walking out the door. It doesn’t matter that people are staring, whispering about the little scene he’s caused by storming off. 

He just needs out. He needs you. 

Once he steps in the trailer, the costume is torn off him, the buttons ripping as he shreds it from his body. There’s little care for it — spending another second in those clothes means pretending he’s someone he’s not. And he can’t deny himself any longer. 

His back is turned to the door when you open it quietly, clicking the lock the second it’s shut. “Hyunjin, that was—“

Slowly, he turns to face you. The emotion on his face is raw; eyes red with tears, face twisted in pain. When you meet his eyes, you stop cold. Frozen by the makeup table. 

“Do you love me?” 

Your brows furrow in confusion. “What are you talking about? Of course I do—“

“Do you love me?” He repeats the question in a broken voice, taking slow steps towards you. Fear starts to blossom in your wide eyes, backing up as he gets closer to you. It’s only when you hit the table that you stop, allowing him to close in on you. “Or are you using me?”

The shock in your expression is earnest, incapable of believing what’s coming from your lover’s mouth. “Why would you think that?”

“At least I have the decency to hide my affair.” He repeats your words from earlier, hands slamming on the table by your sides. There’s nowhere for you to run; you’re caged in. 

“Hyunjin.” Your voice is dripping in hurt. “I love you—“

“Answer the fucking question!” He’s careful not to shout at you, but still raises his voice. Needing you to understand the severity of this. 

He hates the way you’re looking at him. Lip wobbling, tears running down your cheeks. Never did he dream of making you feel like this, of being the cause of your pain. It’s like someone is ripping his heart out and stomping on it — but he has to know, so he can tear himself out of this existence. 

“Yes.” You exhale shakily, hiccups building in your throat. “Fuck, Hyunjin, I love you more than anything.”

“Prove it.”

“What?”

“Leave him, and stay with me.” It’s Hyunjin’s turn to cry, sniffling as the pain releases down his flushed cheeks. All the bottled up thoughts, the words he’s never said — it all begins to spill, falling like the rain that hit his window as he made love to you last night. 

“B-but, your career. You’ve worked so hard—“

“And none of it matters it if you’re not here.” A shaky hand cups your face, gently brushing the tears away. “If I have to wake up without you one more time, I fear I won’t survive.”

It’s always been obvious that he’s in love with you, but never has he bared his soul quite like this. All of it, no longer buried inside him. No longer protected. Yours to cherish, yours to break. Every ounce of him has always been yours.

He can hear the wheels turn in your head. All of the options carefully weighed as you scan his face. The longer your silence continues, the more his fear grows. Crawling up his body like a poison ivy, every inch of his skin on fire as the chance of losing you increases. 

You sigh before breaking eye contact, and it’s over. He can feel it — all a dream, never a reality. The ghost of you is haunting him already.

“Why do I keep leaving you to wake alone-“ You grab his free hand with both of yours, cupping it as if it was made of glass. “-when I dread it just as much myself?

His sight follows yours, catching one last look at the ring on your finger before it falls to the floor. The love and home you built with a man that wasn’t him gone with a light thud.

For once, in the entirety of the time he’s known him, you’re finally all his.

In unison, you both look up. Meeting each other’s gaze once more; only this time, there’s no pain. No anger, no confusion. In that space is a love nobody in this entirety ever has, or ever will experience. 

You are better than anything he could dream. Than any writer could ever create. Even the stars are jealous of the wonder you hold. 

And you’re all his.

When it kisses you, it’s better than any you’ve ever shared before. There’s no barrier, nothing that’s going to take you from him after you lay together. It’s like experiencing you for the first time all over again, and he’ll be damned to take it for granted. 

Grabbing your hips, he lifts you up just a bit to put you on the makeup table. Once sat, your legs hook around his waist, pushing your bodies so close together that they threaten to become one. Your head tilts back, allowing Hyunjin to deepen the kiss. It’s sloppier than usual, the excitement too hard to contain. He smiles into the kiss, eagerly letting his tongue tangle with yours.

The trailer is scolding hot on this cool November afternoon, the windows steaming from your combined body heat. As the kiss moves to your jaw, your nails dig into his back, slowly raking down until your fingers brush the waistband of his boxers. 

Hyunjin considers himself to be a respectful, honorable man. Even though he’s sleeping with another man’s wife, he’s always been careful not to leave marks. He has some respect; or at least, he used to. Now he’s nipping at your jaw, not caring about the bruises he leaves. 

“Tell me, darling.” His voice has dropped an octave, low and almost chilling. “How often did you let him touch you after I did?”

You shake your head, gasping when you feel his hands slip under the skirt of your dress. “N-never. It's only ever been you.”

He can’t even fathom how any man could share a bed with you and not want to worship every inch of you. What an absolute joke of a husband — but at least he was kind enough to save you for Hyunjin. 

His fingers hook onto your silk panties, tugging them off with a strength that pulls you to the edge of the table. “Good. I don’t like to share.”

It’s very likely that he is biased, but Hyunjin thinks you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. The way your soft lips part in surprise every time his hand wraps around your throat, the insatiable desire burning deep in your eyes — oh, he’ll never tire of making you react like this. 

Your panties fall to the ground, landing close by the abandoned wedding ring. The grip he has on you is intense; palm pressing hard enough to make your lips tingle, little whimpers leaving them as you push his boxers down. His cock catches on the waistband, springing up when fully released and hitting his lower abs. 

Are you already drooling? How precious. 

Hyunjin collects your spit with his thumb, shoving it back into your mouth. “Don’t be so messy, love.”

An apology vibrates against his thumb, only to be cut short by a low moan when the head of his cock starts to tease your folds. There’s something about his touch that drives you wild, a feral force driving you to start shaking as you buck your hips. 

He takes the thumb out of your mouth, letting the pretty sounds fill the trailer. All it takes is a raise of his brows for you to start begging, damn near incoherent. 

“Please, Jinnie.” You whine. “I n-need you.”

“And I, you.”

It only takes one fluid thrust to fill you to the brim; the width of his cock gives you a delightfully painful stretch. As you cry in pleasure, he playfully chuckles, bucking in even though there’s no more space. Just so you can feel all of him. 

“Just like that.” Hyunjin says, capturing your lips for a quick kiss. “Make all those pretty noises for me, love.”

And with that, he pulls back until just the tip is inside you. Your cunt flutters around him, so eager for him even after a small taste. The strength in which he slams into you makes the table shake, the trailer creaking from the movement. 

Hyunjin has fucked you in here a number of times, always making sure to be as inconspicuous as possible. Not wanting to give more fuel for the rumors. 

Now, he’s pouring the gas over it, and will even light the flame himself. 

The rhythm he picks is rough; squeezing your neck tighter with each brutal movement. He’s sure you leave bruises all over you. Neck, hips, legs. All reminders that he’s the only person for you. 

A delightful scream, followed by a precious giggle, alerts Hyunjin of your soft spot. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, clinging to his sweaty body as he makes a point of hitting it again.

“H-hyunjin.” You pant, barely able to form words. “Good, good-“

“Oh?” He snakes a hand between your bodies, only barely touching your clit. Just the featherlight touch makes you twitch. “You’re so sensitive, baby. Were you that hungry for my cock?”

He doesn’t have to look at you to know the expression you’re wearing — eyes shut, drool rolling down your chin. Fucked dumb so easily, it’s almost comical. Deciding that words are too hard, you nod as your moans increase in volume. 

God, Hyunjin loves you so fucking much.

It doesn’t take much more for you to start to cry, the orgasm building faster than he can fuck you. Grabbing the nape of your neck, he pulls your head up despite your protest. 

“Where?” He asks through shaky breaths, his own stomach starting to twitch.

Your eyes slowly flutter open, staring at him with empty doe as you lock your legs shut. And clench.

It was your one rule. You can fuck, you can fall in love, but Hyunjin cannot cum in you. It was the one boundary you set, and he was nothing but respectful of your wishes. 

So to know that this is now what you want, making it almost impossible for him to pull out—

“Fuck, kiss me.” He growls, slamming your lips against his own. The second you cum around his cock, he releases into you, finally making you his own.

Limply you cling to him, whining as he pulls out of you. When the kiss breaks, your head returns to his shoulder. Clinging to him as if your life depends on it. 

Hyunjin loves you from the table, lying you down on the cool leather couch. When he tries to release you, you begin to cry in protest. 

“Shh, darling.” He says with a fond chuckle. “I’m just going to get you some water. I’ll be back.”

You’re asleep before he even gets his robe on. Before leaving, he picks up a bit. Returns the makeup to the table, finds your ring. Stuffs the panties in his pocket.

It’s a quick, brisk walk back to the set. A red light warns him that the cameras are rolling, yet he walks in without a care. 

After all, without him, there’s no movie.

The director yells for the scene to end with an annoyed tone, turning his head to glare at whoever just interrupted the otherwise smooth scene. Hyunjin only smiles as he approaches him, the smell of sweat and sex rolling off his body. 

It’s a wordless exchange — digging in his pocket, the actor pulls out your ring, wrapping your soiled panties around it. Carelessly, Hyunjin drops it on the director's lap, waiting for the realization to cross his face before he speaks.

“I quit.”

Some people will do anything to find the love of their life. You, well, the new year wasn't for praying for love or longing for that New Year's Eve kiss. You had no expectations for falling into the scheme of chemicals disguised as love.

So, on the very night, as others held hands, kissed, and enjoyed another year together, you partied the night away like it had no meaning.

This new year, however, your typical party-hard behavior ended with you in someone else's bed, glitter in your eyes, and your legs tangled with your enemy.

What the fuck happened?

—

11:25 am

New Year’s Day.

Your head was spinning. 

Flashbacks of the night before flooded your vision even before you opened your eyes. Your toes were peeking out of the fluffy duvet that one hundred percent didn't belong to you, your hands grasping onto someone else's.

You were afraid to open your eyes, to be honest.

Flashes of glitter, champagne, kisses, touches, dancing. It was all too much, and the minute you felt someone’s warm breath run down your neck, you became aware of the strong arm that held you to his body.

And that's when it hit you. 

Last night, after way too much alcohol and mixtures of shots and god knows what else, you shared your midnight kiss with someone you dreaded.

Well, at least used to dread.

You opened your eyes quickly, staying as still as ever to not wake him. You didn't trust your drunk mind—you wanted to make sure it was….him.

You looked down at the hand that was wrapped around you. His fingers cupped your breast, holding you to him like you were made for him. Your heart began to beat faster as you noticed how he was holding you, and you slowly moved your head to face your enemy.

Park Fucking Seonghwa.

There he was, in all his glory. His black hair still looked flawless,his lips parted as he breathed. They were swollen, painted red from your lipstick. You held your breath and swallowed hard, unable to look away from him from the shock.

Or maybe, just maybe, you thought he was absolutely gorgeous and couldn't believe he just fucked you after staying he hated you the day before.

You blinked, and finally tore your gaze from him.

It wasn't unusual for you to wake up in a foreign bed tangled in a mess of limbs. It was a part of your party lifestyle, and never wanting to settle. The man that you slept with, though, was someone you never imagined would have a one night stand.

He was too good to be true, which is why you couldn't believe it. He was fine-cut, clean, and someone who was a lover of all things traditional. He wears suits freshly pressed from the dry cleaners, round rimmed glasses, and a permanent smirk as if he was better than everyone else.

To be honest, he was. Which is why you hated him.

He was too perfect. And now, here you were, with said perfect man, your naked bodies pressed against each other. 

You let out a groan, unsure about how to get out of this situation. Ever so slowly, you wrapped your fingers around the hand that gripped your breast, prying his godly fingers off your skin. You breathed slowly as you set his hand down, and then you slipped out of the covers.

Your bare feet landed on the cold hardwood, and you let out a sigh of relief. You looked over at him before finding your dress that you vividly remember him ripping off of you, and of course, it was torn right down the middle. 

“Fuck.” you whispered, although it wasn't quiet enough.

He gasped awake, pushing himself back against the headboard. His eyes were frantic, searching all over the room until his eyes met yours. And then they trailed down, and down, and down, as he soaked up your nakedness. “Holy fuck,” he breathed, not even pulling up the covers to hide his bare chest. “y/n? Where are your clothes?”

You stood like a deer in headlights, scared enough to not even bother to hide yourself. He saw it all, anyway.

“I, uh,” you sniffed, holding up the destroyed dress in your hands. “You tore it off my body…”

He squinted his eyes, unable to see without those glasses of his. He reached over onto the nightstand, and quickly tossed on those sexy ass round-rimmed glasses. And that's when another flashback hit you.

 “What the hell happened last night?”

—

New Years Eve,

9:05 pm.

“Make sure you bring some painkillers, y/n,” your best friend San said as you stuffed the necessities into your purse. “I know how you get.”

You chuckled and tossed a whole bottle into your purse. “I got you, Sannie.”

You and san were besties. Not just you two, but you had a whole friend group. Wooyoung, hongjoong, San, A mixture of personalities, but you liked to consider your group a bunch of party-hards. All except one of them. 

Seonghwa, who was hongjoong’s roommate, joined the friend group last new years. He was the stick up the ass friend that wouldn't like to come to parties, and his priorities lied with passing his boards. A smarty pants, of course, and you couldn't blame him for his efforts to do well. You just didn't care the same way he did.

Which is why he didn't like you.

He also studied the brain while you studied art, which he thought was tedious. He knew everything about your brain while you couldn't even pick apart his expressions, which pissed you off all the time.

“Oh, one more thing,” San poked his head into your room, a sinister smile on his face. A face you've kissed one too many times. “Seonghwa is coming.”

You went still as he stood in your doorway, your lips only half covered with bright red lipstick. “What?”

San shrugged. “Don't know why. Said he was sick of studying for once. I couldn't believe it either,” he looked you up and down then, and gave you a wink. “Anyway. You look hot. I wanna kiss away that lipstick, baby.”

You smirked, loving that you and San could do anything to each other and it meant nothing. He was the male version of you, that's for sure.

“Come here then.” you chuckled, and not surprisingly, he entered the room like he owned it, pulling you to him sexily. Everyone thought you were dating, but the truth was that you just like to kiss each other. And fuck, but theres absolutely no strings attached.

Reason number a million for why seonghwa hated you.

His lips met yours sloppily, tugging you closer as his lips parted yours. He pulled back, licking the lipstick off his lips. 

“So, who’s gonna be the lucky man tonight?” he huskily groaned, leaning back onto your vanity.

You carried on like nothing happened, and fixed up your lipstick. “Not sure. Whoever is down for some fun I guess.”

He nodded. “Of course, of course. Anyway, as much as I like to chit-chat and makeout with you, it's time to head out. I want to get there before the good alc is gone.”

You smirked, finishing your lipstick only for it to be ruined later on. 

“Alright, lets go get fucked up.”

—

10:20 pm

You entered the party an hour later, already buzzed on your pre-game chug. San gripped onto you as you entered the house, having no idea who’s it was.

“The party is here, motherfuckers.” San hollered, and everyone who was in the room turned to see you.

You were sober enough to look around, looking for the man you couldn't believe was showing up. You didn't see him anywhere, and you felt a bit let down at the thought of him not showing up.

San’s fingertips were pressed into your side as your friends came up to see you. “Ah, there you guys are. We figured you were fucking as per usual.” Wooyoung cockily spoke, a smile on those pretty drunk lips of his.

Hongjoong snorted, holding a can of beer tightly in his hands. “You're so right.”

You shook your head this time, looking at San, who was staring at you hungrily. “Nah, just a quick makeout sesh. Didn't want to zip this dress back up.”

“Nah, I could've just lifted it up.” San smirked.

You were too busy staring at San to notice the man of the hour coming up behind your friends.

Seonghwa looked pained, his pretty eyes hidden behind his glasses. He held a beer in his hand, looking out of place from his stuffy persona. His long legs were covered with tight black dress pants, and his chest was covered in a matching suit coat and a turtleneck.

You couldn't lie, it pissed you off that he was hot.

“Hwa, there you are,” San giggled, already drunk off an unknown amount of vodka shots. “You're looking fine as hell tonight.”

You moved your gaze to the tall man, his expensive aura rubbing off on you. His eyes were sending daggers at San’s grip on your waist, and then he brought his gaze up to yours. “Thanks.” is all he said, his smooth voice enveloping your senses.

You looked him up and down with an arch of the brow. “Seonghwa.”

He did the same to you, although his piercing eyes were judging your every move. “Y/n.”

You scoffed at the disdain of his tone, knowing that this party was going to be the death of you if you stayed this sober. You looked up to San, who was already looking at you. “San, could you get me a drink?”

He went off like he was your servant, leaving you alone with your friends. That is, until hongjoong gave wooyoung a knowing look. “We're going to get drinks too. Bye-bye.” hongjoong chuckled, knowing he was leaving you with the enemy.

You rolled your eyes, unable to meet your gaze to Seonghwa’s fierce one. It was quiet between you two, desperately needing him to either leave or speak. 

To your surprise, he did the latter.

“I see you're enjoying winter break, clearly,” he hummed, bringing the beer can up to his lips. You couldn't help but watch as they got wet, and how he licked them clean while looking at you. “Maybe too much.”

Stupid stupid stupid. He shouldn't be hot. It's not fair.

You crossed your arms over your chest. “What do you mean by that?” you inquired, to which he scoffed before responding.

He shrugged. “Well, you're having fun with San and going to parties left and right. Do you ever rest?” he took a step closer to you, but you didn't back down. Even though his voice was so smooth, buttering you up even when he insulted you, you loved to play his game right back.

“Why are you here? Shouldn't you be dissecting a brain or something?” you growled, looking around for San—who wasn't back with your drink yet. “Listen, we all can't be neurosurgeons, baby. Leave the partying and sex and drugs to me.”

He raised an eyebrow, and took another step towards you. “So you are fucking him.”

You furrowed your brows at his harsh and unusual word choices. 

Two can play it this way, seonghwa.

“Who? I can name a few people in this room alone,” you reached out, using your flirtatious ways to make him uncomfortable as you always do. You ran a hand down his arm, his gaze hardening on you. “Are you interested? You know I like it rough. I’m sure San tells you all about it—”

“Slut.” he hissed, his eyes black as night as your hand wrapped around his forearm. It's not a word you should take lightly, but hearing him call you that actually did the opposite you expected. You felt warm, your stomach tingling lower and lower and lower.

Your eyes lit up as they met his. “Oh? We’re name calling now, huh?” you pulled him to you, and he stumbled into you. You reached up and pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. “Sucks for you, four eyes, I like being degraded.”

He didn't make a face. He just stared down at you, his lips flat without emotion. His eyes, however, danced with lust from the look you were giving him. After a moment of tearing each other apart, you pushed him away, leaving him standing alone as you went to go find San. Before you left his sight, you turned around and gave him a flirty wave, catching him scoffing one last time before leaving the room.

—

11:30 pm

It was a blur. You were already on your seventh, maybe tenth drink, feeling your body warm from the toxin you call alcohol. You had a habit of dancing when you were drunk, and that left you in the middle of the room, grinding on San and some other random dudes.

In your hand was a red cup of something that tastes like peach whiskey, and it nearly spilled as San’s hands were all over you. The edge of his fingertips danced at the curve of your hip, your arms reaching the sky as his lips were on your neck. Little did you know that more than one set of eyes were on you.

Seonghwa sat on the leather couch, his legs spread wide and his arms crossed. He was drunk off a whole bottle of orange vodka, which scared him a bit. He was unsure of what he would do—or say—to you. You had no idea why he hated you, but oh, some choice words might spill out of his mouth tonight as he watched San touch you like that.

He narrowed his eyes when San’s lips met yours, staring at you with so much anger he might have exploded. He kept watching, unable to break his stare from you. His eyes trailed down to the way San’s hand slid down your hips, and watched as he kissed you and smiled with cockiness.

Seonghwa didn't like how he looked at you.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but Hwa stood up and made his way over to you. Within that little time, San was already dancing with another girl, leaving you dancing all alone in the midst of sweaty bodies and men that would take advantage of you.

The minute you spotted him in front of you, you stopped dancing and plastered a goofy smile on your face. “Hello there, smarty pants. Out of your element?” you asked him and began to dance again. He looked at you deeply, noticing the smudge of your lipstick.

“You seem to let anyone touch you.” He said, pushing his glasses up on his face.

You shrugged as you danced, but you were sick of him killing the mood. You reached out to him and pulled him close, and to your surprise, he didn't move away as you danced against him.

“Yeah, even you.” you smirked, grinding your ass against his dick. You were certain he was drunk enough to ignore it. “Touch me.”

He hesitated, but the alcohol took over as his hands moved on their own. He was too drunk to hide his true feelings, but at least you both wouldn't remember this in the morning. His hands slid down to your hips, and never have you ever craved someone’s touch this much.

You reached back to run a hand down his face, feeling the cold rim of his glasses. You felt how sharp his jawline was as his hands touched you like he never did before.

“I’m touching you because you want me to, not because I want to.” he huffed, but his fingers said otherwise as they curled around your dress. His head rested against yours, but then you turned around in his hold, your face inches away from his.

You tilted your face up as you saw the longing look he was giving you. God, you hated him.

“Are you sure about that?” your lips were inches away from his, his hands still gripping at your waist. You held onto his shirt, fisting it tight. You smelled his breath, his shampoo, his everything. Your vision was hazy, but you knew damn well he was the hottest man you've ever laid eyes on. “Your hands seem to like my waist.”

“I don't like anything about you,” he whispered in your ear, lips pressing against your skin. “Not even your sexy little ass. God, I hate your lips, too.”

You shivered under his touch, his hand now squeezing your ass as he breathed into your ear. 

“Oh? What’s wrong with my lips?” 

He let out a sigh, his breathing getting shallower by the minute. 

His dark eyes met yours.

“Because they don't belong to me.”

You stopped dead at his words, feeling like the whole world stopped. He stopped too, but his hands still found their home on your ass and waist.

Your heart began to beat out of your chest. No man has ever made you feel the way he made you feel. You couldn't stand it.

Ignoring his half-confession, you laughed it off. “Your breath smells like oranges.”

He smiled down at you, hair in his eyes. “That's because of the orange vodka. You smell like peaches.”

You licked your lips, really wanting to taste the oranges on his lips; in his mouth. Something was wrong with you.

“I really don't like you.” you said, looking at his lips.

“I hate you even more.”

“Well I hate you a million times more.”

He scoffed, his hands meeting your waist once again. “I hate your dress.”

You rolled your eyes. “Why? Is it too slutty for you? Is that all you see in me?”

He shook his head. “No,” he hummed. “I just think you're too pretty to be someone’s play-thing.”

You blinked. Was that a compliment?

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “I don't do it as often as you think.” you said to him, that seductive smile on your face he knew all too well.

“Well you sleep with San.”

You shrugged. “Yeah, but we only fuck because we don't know how to love. We've only done it once.”

He frowned. “What? Really? Only once?”

You nodded, your hand running through his soft hair without knowing. This was the most you've ever spoken civilly. “Yeah. We make out and like other stuff, but I don't like him like that. He doesn't like me like that either. We just do it for fun. Anything to feel something.”

He scoffed, looking as pretty as ever. “God, you're insane.”

“Maybe.”

He smiled. Really smiled. You thought he was so gorgeous, your drunk self didn't know what to do with him.

San came up to you two, a smirk on his lips as he watched you. “Dancing with the enemy, huh?” he chuckled, a girl on one arm and wooyoung on the other. “Have fun, looks like Seonghwa isn't a buzzkill after all.”

San left then, which kind of proved your relationship to Hwa. Sure, you liked to party. You liked having sex. You liked to feel things. It was just your way of having fun. Feeling alive. Even though Seonghwa hated that you were like that, you now just figured out that he thought you deserved better than being someone’s object.

“It's almost midnight.” you whispered, leaning your head against his chest. You felt his heartbeat race under that expensive turtleneck of his.

“Mhm.” he hummed into your hair. 

“Who are you going to kiss?” you ran your hands down his back sensually. “Did you even ever kiss someone?”

He laughed, and you felt his chest vibrate. “Do you think I’m a virgin, y/n?”

You giggled, his hands feeling you up. “Maybe. Either that or you're like extremely experienced and you know everything.”

He chuckled at that, but didn't deny it.

“So which is it?” you looked up at him as people began to chant the countdown in the background. “Virgin or sexpertise?” 

Ten. 

“Do you want to find out?” he asked, his hands living on your hips. “Or do you hate me too much?”

Nine.

“I do hate you quite a bit.” you looked up at his lips.

Eight.

He tilted his head, licking his lips.

Seven.

“Well I don't want you kissing someone else.”

Six.

You looked up at him through your lashes. “So does that mean you don't hate me?”

Five. 

He tugged you closer to him, your breasts pressing against his chest. “Oh, I do hate you. I hate everything about you.”

Four.

“Oh, I know you do.” you licked your lips as he pressed his forehead against yours. “You never let me hear otherwise.”

Three. 

“Do you…want to hear otherwise?”

Two. 

His hand met your jaw, tilting it up to face him. You swallowed hard.

You nodded. 

“I never wanted someone so bad the way I want you.” he breathed.

One.

“Kiss me.” you groaned, and this time, he touched you because he wanted to.

“I won't be able to stop.” he hummed against your lips, enveloping you with the sweet taste of oranges and vodka despite the warning.

Happy new year!

He pushed open your lips, tongue in your mouth and hands in your hair. You fisted his hair with one hand, his glasses crashing against your face. He pulled back for a moment only long enough to tear them off his face, only to further the kiss. His hands gripped your face, his tongue licking the roof of your mouth.

He breathed hard as you kissed and kissed and kissed. Your hands were still in his hair, tugging him down to you as he leaned down. You've never kissed someone the way you kissed him at this moment, sharing breaths and sweet-tasting saliva.

Seonghwa scrunched his eyebrows tight as he kissed you, so powerfully, that you didn't know where to put your hands on him anymore. 

You forgot that you were in the middle of a room full of people, but one kiss wasn't enough for both of you. You loved the softness of his lips. The taste of them. The smell of his hair. You loved the way he was looking at you, the way he was touching you. You loved everything about him at this moment.

He pulled away, slowly, tenderly, as if he didn't almost break your face from that powerful kiss. It was as if the world was ending—he couldn't let go of you.

And to make matters worse, the pad of his thumb met the corner of your lips, wiping them gently.

“Happy new year, y/n.”

You stared at him, trying to decipher your true feelings. Did you only hate him because he never showed you the time of day? Was it because he was perfect, like a literal god?

—

12:45 am.

The New Year

Somehow, someway, you and seonghwa got separated in all the craziness of the midnight frenzy. You were now in the kitchen, guzzling down your second shot of champagne. You were way too drunk to search for seonghwa, but the minute you saw a flash of black and silver rimmed glasses, you pushed yourself off the counter and followed him.

The cold January breeze hit you, but your body was too warmed up from your intoxication. You stepped down the stairs of the deck, pushing through the swarm of people to see a group lighting off sparklers. Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea, as everyone here had to be at least tipsy, but you saw him then, smiling, and holding onto a sparkler.

The brightness of the sparks reflected in his eyes, leaving specks of gold and white dance around his lenses. He didn't see you yet, so you stepped closer and closer. He had to see you now, but he didn't look over.

“You know that our reactions to the world around us originate from our brains?” he smiled, waving the sparkler around to make the fire move. “Our movements. Like me moving this right now. Because my brain told my muscles to do it, I moved. Isn't it amazing?”

You stared at him as he turned to you.

“Same way with you,” he sniffed, possibly because of the cold. He looked down at the sparkler in his hands. “My brain reacts to you. More than absolutely anything.”

You reached out and held the sparkler with him, knowing there was no way you were going to remember this in the morning. “So, what makes my body react to you, then?”

He let out a sigh, putting his thinking face on even while he was obliterated. “That depends on what way you react. There are many different chemicals.”

You tilted your head. “Chemicals?”

He nodded, looking down at how your hands were touching each other. His free hand gripped your chin, tilting it up to meet his lustful gaze.

“If you're thinking about kissing me,” he paused, the reflection of the star of the sparkler in his lenses. “Or touching me. Or fucking me, your levels of dopamine and norepinephrine are high.”

You furrowed your eyebrows as his fingertips brushed against your lips. 

“High?” 

“Mhm. Your brain is currently sending signals through your neurotransmitters. If you're attracted to me right now,” the sparks of the sparkler died out right then. “Your body will react because of the chemical reactions.”

“So,” you breathed, looking up at him innocently. “How is your body reacting to me? What’s your brain telling you?”

Seonghwa paused, taking a quick look at your lips before biting them slightly. He tossed the dead sparkler away. “Well my brain isn't fully functional right now, so I’m not sure how reliable my words are.”

You scoffed, slapping him on the arm. “I thought we were having a moment.”

“We are.”

You laughed. “Seonghwa, I feel like you have no common sense.”

He blinked. “Well, not right now. Like I said when you drink your brain doesn't work as well—”

You groaned, interrupting him with a hand to his mouth. This made his eyes go wide, and you felt his hot breath hit your palm.

“I literally hate you so much,” you kept your hand to his mouth to keep him from speaking. “I’d rather have you call me a slut like earlier. Although you look cute talking all nerdy.”

He blinked at you, confused at what you really felt about him. He was so far gone that he was starting to spill brain facts—a usual scenario that happens when he gets drunk. It's not what he wants to get across now, even though he was confused about his own thoughts.

He reached up to grab your hand, and wiped his face after. Now his lips were free—you kept thinking back to your kiss you shared earlier.

“I won't be able to stop.” you said.

He tilted his head in confusion. “What?”

You sighed, grabbing his cheeks in your hands, making him let out a little noise of surprise. You could tell he barely had any idea where he was. His eyes were dilated, dark, and somehow so lovely you couldn't imagine looking into anyone else's.

“You said you wouldn't be able to stop. When you were kissing me.” you hummed, feeling the warmth of his body that was inches away from yours. “But you did.”

He stared at you deeply, and you were able to see your reflection in his round eyes. “Yes.”

You rubbed your thumb against his cheekbone. “And you said before that if you wanted to kiss someone, that was because of a chemical reaction?”

He nodded slowly, looking at your lips in a haze. “Also yes.”

“Are you….having any reaction…to me?” you slid your hand back, running it up his neck, watching him shut his eyes tight in response. “To my touch? Do you want to kiss my lips again? Or fuck me?”

“God, y/n.” he hissed quietly, his eyes opening slowly to meet your intense gaze. His hands were back on your hips, seeming like a happy place for him. “I’m supposed to hate you.”

You smirked, leaning in to kiss the sharpness of his jaw, hearing him breathe in sharply. “We can go back to being hateful in the morning. I want you inside me more than I want to be hated, tonight,” you kissed the lobe of his ear, nibbling on it slightly as his hands tightened at your waist. “So your answer? Is there a chemical reaction going off in your body right now?”

He laughed deeply, sending chills down your spine. His arms wrapped around your body, his palm at the small of your back, pulling you into him. “If there wasn't, then I would have something wrong with me.”

You sensually giggled, gripping the back of his neck so he would look you in the eyes. “Then I’m all yours for the night.”

“I can…I can do anything to you?” he murmured into your ear, both of you unaware of the people around you. 

His forehead pressed against yours.

“Anything.” 

—

1:20 am.

The New Year

He slammed you against the door of god knows who’s bedroom, his lips on yours the minute he caught his breath. His hand searched for the door knob, and after aggressively running his hand up and down the door, he found it, and you both tumbled into the bedroom.

He moaned as you bit his lip with full force, feeling euphoric from the sounds he made. He pushed you back into the door, slamming it shut with your body. Lifting you up quickly, he held you to the door, feeling his hard-on through his pants.

“You said you liked it rough,” he whispered onto your lips like it was a confession, kissing them in between words. “I’ll make it so rough you won't think about San ever again.”

You cried out as he stuck his tongue into your mouth, now knowing that this booksmart boy was most certainly not a virgin. “I knew it.” you breathed, smirking while his teeth bit into your neck. You grabbed a handful of his hair, pulling it so hard that he set you down. You watched his face contort in pain and pleasure as you backed him up to the edge of the bed.

“What?” he groaned, looking up at you from his seated position. His eyes pleaded for your touch, and you did, gripping onto his shoulder as you stepped between his legs.

“I knew you weren't a virgin, you asshole.” you gave him a sinister smile, and with the deadliest look, you ripped the hair tie off your wrist to tie your hair up.

You watched him swallow hard, his black hair covering his eyes and sticking to him from his sweat. His legs were spread wide, his dick begging to tear through his expensive pants. He breathed heavily as he watched you kneel, causing him to moan without you having to touch him.

“I…” he huffed as your hands met the waistband of his pants. “Ugh.” he couldn't finish what he had to say when you unbuttoned them, pulling down the zipper to reveal black underwear. You tugged at his pants, pulling them down along with the underwear. There he was, ready for you. You were going to make him feel so good that he would never forget this, despite your shared “hatred.”

He tossed his head back the minute he felt your breath against his tip, veins popping through the skin of his forehead as he bit his lip. You licked his cock, dragging your tongue down from the tip to the base. You looked up at him while you did it, meeting his breathless expression.

“I…I…Fuck.” he cried out, his hand fisting your ponytail with force. 

You moaned as you sucked his dick, your throat contracting from his size. You gagged slightly as he shoved you deeper, your hands behind your back like the master you were. You used your tongue as you moved up and down, going faster as you heard him moan louder and louder.

“I’m gonna fucking come if you don't stop,” he hissed after god knows how long you spent sucking him off, and he pulled you up off your knees. 

You nearly blushed at his lost expression, his lips bright red from your lipstick and his cheeks flushed. His eyes were slanted with lust, dazed and lost within your touch. He was leaning back on his arms, which were still covered by the turtleneck you couldn't wait to take off of him.

You licked your lips as you looked down on him, and your fingertips met the hem of his shirt. You tugged it slowly, watching his eyes widen slightly as you pulled it over his head. The smooth ripple of muscle danced down his stomach like he was some sort of art piece.

You then stood back to admire for a moment, which was too long for seonghwa to wait. He stood up from the bed, his arms coming around to hold the back of your head. He was completely naked now, all that was left was the slutty glasses that dawned his face. You didn't want to take them off just yet.

He looked at you for a second before pressing his red lips to yours, his hand gripping the back of your head to hold you to him. His other hand twirled around the end of your little dress, unable to take a second to pull the zipper down. You moaned into his mouth as his tongue collided into yours, your hands finding their home in his hair. The coldness of his glasses burned into your skin, sending more shivers down your spine as he kissed you like no one ever has.

“I’ll tear this thing apart,” he growled into your mouth, impatient as ever. Before you could tell him there was a zipper, he ripped the fabric right off your body, tossing it across the room like it was nothing. You didn't even care if it was your favorite dress. The only thing that mattered right now was having him inside you.

You shivered as his hands slid down the waistband of your lace underwear.

“I bet you didn't think I would be the one taking these off of you,” he licked your lips, his cold fingertips meeting your other lips. He pushed his middle finger between them, his eyes dancing with desire as he watched your eyes shut tight. “Lace? So slutty.”

“Your glasses are sluttier.” You held in a whimper.

He smirked, and took his hand away slowly. Before you could complain, he sucked on the fingers that were just near your entrance, and then slid his hand up your matching bra, the pads of his fingers rubbing against the sensitive skin of your nipple. Without warning, he pulled it over your head, and you rested your head in the crook of his neck while his hands caressed your breasts. You kissed his collarbone as his arms snaked around your waist, pushing you backwards until you both fell onto the bed.

He caged you from above, his dick pressing up against your center. You felt the dribble of precum hit your skin, unable to shake the feeling that he was probably the best you ever had—even without entering you. His one arm reached down to pull your underwear off, so quickly you barely knew he did it.

You arched your back into him, begging him with your eyes for him to enter you, but he just looked down at you with a smirk. He ran a hand down your face, almost lovingly, but you knew better.

The minute his dick lined up to enter, and with a sharp inhale, he pushed himself deep inside you, causing you to let out a cry.

You rocked your hips against his as he held himself over you, his eyes locked on yours drunkenly. You couldn't remember when–or if—he ever looked straight into your eyes before tonight. It was fitting that he would only look at you when he fucked you.

His hips clashed into yours, his arms looping around your legs to shove himself further, if possible. You moaned so loud you swore everyone could hear you, but what made you even more turned on was that he was just as loud.

“Say my name.” he said, his glasses still on, making you even more feral. “I want to hear you scream it.”

You looked into his galaxy-like eyes, watching them sparkle with emotion.

You'll never recover from this.

“Seonghwa.” you whined, completely vulnerable under his body.

“Oh my god,” he purred, his eyes darkening. “Say it again.”

You moaned, causing him to move faster. “Hwa…”

You gripped his ass as he moved powerfully, his fingernails piercing your skin while his lips made love to your neck. You could hardly breathe between his god-like movements and the way his touch felt like fire, but when his lips met yours once again, you slid your hands up to hold the hair out of his face.

You smirked.

“Let me ride you.” you said, your voice hoarse from all your moans. He didn't stop moving as you asked, but you saw that gorgeous smirk immediately.

You traded positions, feeling empty as he pulled out of you. The minute you saw him under you, his hair sticking to his face and his eyes full of wonder, you let out a sigh, feeling his pulse from under you. You caressed his stomach with your fingertips, watching those bright eyes shut tight. Bringing your fingers down, you slid them down the V of his muscle, smiling to yourself as he bucked his hips forward. 

You leaned down, your lips meeting his stomach and you moved them further and further up, kissing his chest, his collarbone, his neck. You got to his chin, then his nose, until you softly gripped his glasses. Once they were off, you set them down onto the nightstand, letting out a chuckle as you looked at him.

He blinked up at you, never seeing him with such emotion.

“Beautiful,” he whispered against your lips, feeling his hot breath coat them while his hands caressed your back. 

You furrowed your eyebrows, sliding your finger down his neck to grip his throat. “You make me so mad.” you breathed, a devilish, almost insane look on your face. 

You tightened your grip.

He looked at you, sexy as ever. “Why?”

“Because,” you lined yourself up, hearing him grunt as you pushed yourself onto him. 

“When you call me beautiful, I actually believe you.”

You didn't give him a chance to answer you as you bounced up and down, smirking as you watched him squirm under your hold. You released your grip on his neck, pushing yourself up to ride him better. His hands were on your hips, his mouth agape and his eyes shut tight.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he moaned, leaning up from his sprawled position to wrap his arms around your body, holding him to you as you bounced up and down. Up and down, his lips on your lips. His hands in your hair. His tongue in your mouth. You never wanted this to end.

Who knows how long you've been going. He threw you around, pushing you up against the headboard and tossing your legs over his shoulders. He moaned in your ear, biting the lobe and then kissing it. “I still hate you,” he hissed, his sweat rubbing off onto you as he pressed his head into yours. “I hate how good your pussy feels.”

You tried catching your breath, holding onto him as he crashed. You already came twice, and you felt the third high coming after those words.

“You…” he huffed as you sucked on his thumb, unable to control himself. “You're such a whore.”

You smiled, your legs losing their feeling by how hard he was pumping into you. “Mhm.”

He groaned, tossing his head back. “It's so hot. You're so hot.” his breaths began to quicken, along with his movements. You most definitely will have bruises on your thighs from his grip and marks from the headboard on your back in the morning. “My little slut.”

“Ah,” you cried out, feeling yourself tighten around his pulsing cock. He pushed you up against the headboard even harder, and you felt the sharpness of his fingernails as he bucked his hips a few more times.

He came into you, without warning, and you felt the warmness fill you up completely. His breath was just as hot, hitting your sweaty face rhythmically. You let out a comfortable sigh as he moved your legs off his shoulders.

As you laid out, your back against the wooden headboard and him between your legs, he looked at you, gently, romantically, as if he didn't just fuck you for hours. He reached out, brushing your soaked hair behind your ear with a slight boyish smile.

He looked down at you in awe, unsure of what to do now. He was now a completely different person than he was a few minutes ago. His hands felt the inside of your thighs, his eyes wide. “Do you…do I..” he scratched his head. “Should I…help you? Like, wash up?” he met eyes with you, still drunk, but not nearly as much as he was a few hours ago.

You paused. You never had someone offer you that. Or any after care, in general. It's always been a hello, goodbye. 

He looked like he wanted to take care of you.

You blinked, trying to hide your appreciation. “You…don't have to,” you said, barely audible. He was the smartest man you knew, there was no way he didn't know what that meant.

He looked at you one more time before getting off the bed. You watched as he searched the room, admiring his physique. He found a box of tissues, and he gave you a look. “It's not the best thing, but—”

“It's okay, seonghwa.” you smiled, your hatred for him completely gone. Poof! Nothing was there other than infatuation and some other feeling you couldn't put your finger on. He came over to you then, and gently wiped the inside of your thighs, cleaning you up slowly. You blinked slowly as the tiredness took over you, but you didn't fall asleep just yet.

He looked you up and down from his standing position, his eyes sparkling under the moonlight that peeked through the windows.

He laid on the bed next to you, pulling up the covers and tossing them over both of you. Without thinking, you cuddled up to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your head in his neck.

“You should believe it.” he said softly, rubbing circles into your arm.

“Hm?” you mumbled, drifting into sleep.

He smiled and kissed your forehead. 

“That you are beautiful.”

—

11:30 am

New Year’s Day.

Back to the current time, Seonghwa sat up against the headboard, looking as shocked as ever, not even pulling up the covers to hide his bare chest. 

“y/n?” he asked, his eyes wide. “Where are your clothes?”

You stood like a deer in headlights, scared enough to not even bother to hide yourself. He saw it all, anyway. You remembered everything as soon as your fingers touched your dress.

“I, uh,” you sniffed, holding up the destroyed dress in your hands. “You tore it off my body…”

He squinted his eyes, unable to see without those glasses of his. He reached over onto the nightstand, and quickly tossed on those sexy ass round-rimmed glasses. The same glasses he had on when he fucked you so hard you saw stars.

 “What the hell happened last night?” He asked, fixing his glasses to rest right on that pretty nose of his.

Your heart slowed. “You… don't remember?” you asked him, looking down at your aching body. He stared at you, lost, dazed, looking even more fuckable than he was when you were drunk.

This is bad.

He sighed, looking over the bruises on your thighs. “No, I do. I do,” he paused, scratching his head. “I’m sorry about the bruises. And…your dress.”

You wanted to escape. This was the first time you wanted to stay in someone's arms. The first time you wanted to sleep with someone more than once. It was unlike you.

You frantically searched for his shirt on the floor. You grabbed it and tossed it on, and thank god it fit like a dress. Your mind wandered to how he touched you, how he kissed you, how he cleaned you up.

You slid on your underwear, forgetting about the bra and quickly looked for your shoes. He watched you from the bed, a frown on his face. 

“You and your stupid chemical talk,” you mumbled, fixing your hair in the mirror. You looked over at him one last time, feeling your chest tingle from the look he was giving you. “I uh…it was nice. Thanks.” was all you came up with before leaving the room, and leaving him all alone with no shirt and your lace bra.

How were you supposed to fix this?

—

January 30th

End of Winter Break

You sat with your head in your textbook, alone in the library at your college campus. It's been thirty days since your unforgettable night with seonghwa, and here you were, still thinking about it every chance you got.

However, he was back to hating you again. He wouldn't even look at you, or speak to you. It felt like nothing happened, and in all reality, it was all your fault.

San came up to you then, a frown on his face as you made no reaction to his presence. Seonghwa was right—you couldn't even think of san the same way. Not after that night with hwa. 

“y/n,” San sat across from you at the library table, his expression solemn. “You haven't been yourself. Since when do you study?”

You blinked down at your textbook, reading about the anatomical drawings of Leonardo Divinci. It reminded you of seonghwa—not because of the way it looks, but knowing that the chemical reactions of the body lie under the exterior.

“Did you know that we have a whole bunch of neurotransmitters?” you furrowed your brow, your finger dancing along the drawing’s body. “They react to touch. Like this.” you said, circling the figure. San didn't speak, and he knew what happened between you and Seonghwa.

“Hey,” he reached out to shut your textbook, shutting your thoughts up. “What's going on?”

You shrugged, wrapping yourself up tightly in your fluffy coat. “I don't know. I don't know why I’m feeling this way or what it means.”

“It's Seonghwa,” he said kindly, picking at the edge of the textbook. “He’s been the same way, too.”

You sighed. “He won't even look at me, but who can blame him? After all he tore off my dress and called me a slut and bruised my thighs so bad I still have—”

“Alright, alright,” San hissed, making a disgusted face. “I don't need the details. But I can tell you what he said about you…”

Your eyes lit up, meeting his own irises with wonder. “What did he say?”

San bit his lip, and squirmed in the chair he was sitting in. “He said…he said he didn't want you to leave. When he was drunk the other day, he wouldn't stop talking about you.”

“San I,” you sighed, picking at your fingers in your lap. “I had to. That's all I know.”

He shook his head. “It doesn't have to be. Not with him, at least.”

You stared at him for a moment, unable to grasp the emotions you were feeling. “I don't want a relationship.”

He nodded. “He knows that.”

You bit your lip. “I don't know how to love someone.”

“He knows that, too.”

“Then what do I do?” you laughed, a usual occurrence when you were confused. “I want to be with him, but I don't know why.”

He smiled at you, his eyes kind rather than their usual flirtiness. “It doesn't hurt to try, y/n.”

Something blew up in your mind—some sort of chemical reaction you weren't used to. You knew of the feeling of attraction, lust, everything in between. But you didn't know what this one was.

You stood up abruptly. “I gotta go.” the chair nearly tumbled back as you zoomed out of the library, forgetting your backpack and your textbook like they were the least of your worries.

You ran through the cold, having no idea where your destination was. You knew who he was, but not where to find him. You checked his apartment, called hongjoong, and checked the science lecture halls. With him nowhere to be found, you thought your heart was going to give out—that is, until one more place came to mind.

You raced to the campus bus stop, pacing until the bus finally arrived. Your leg bounced up and down rapidly until you reached your stop. You moved so fast you were certain people thought you were insane, and when you finally pushed through the doors of the hospital, you trudged up the stairs to the neuro floor, right up to the main desk.

You took a deep breath to slow your breathing. “Is Seonghwa here?” you asked in a hurry, your heart beating so fast you thought you were dying. 

The lady frowned, giving you the weirdest look. “Who? Is he a patient?”

You swallowed hard, shaking your head. “No, no. he’s a med student. He should be doing an internship here or something? He’s in neuroscience. Neurosurgery? One of the two, I don't—”

“y/n?”

You heard his smooth voice from the right, and you slowly turned toward him in relief. “Ah, thank god. I need to see you, I think I’m dying.” you inhaled sharply, watching his neutral expression change to worry. 

He hesitated to get closer to you, his lips opening and closing as his mind wondered about what to say. He decided against words and walked over to you, gripping onto your arm before dragging you away and into the on-call room he came out of.

He let go of you, and you stood in the middle of the room with your hands at your sides. He locked the door behind him, and then turned to you with a scowl. “Why are you here?”

You gasped for air. “Listen, I have to be dying. My heart is beating so fast.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s probably because you ran here.”

You shook your head, and he kept his distance to you. “No, it's not just that,” you took a step closer to him. He didn't move back. “I can't stop thinking about you. And when I think about you, my heart races and I feel like I need to see you. Some kind of chemical reaction is going on and it's not the one you told me about when we were drunk.”

He looked at you, his expression unreadable. You stepped closer to him. “It’s probably just your body being confused. It has nothing to do with me—”

“But it has everything to do with you!” you groaned, sweating through the furry coat you had on. You ran a hand through your hair aggressively. “Because you're the one who I see even when I’m staring at anatomy paintings I can't stand it anymore.”

He let his guard down, setting down his arms at his sides. You took a step closer to him, calming down in his presence. 

He looked at you through those glasses of his. “What are your symptoms?”

You let out a sigh of relief. “I uh, I cant stop thinking about you. About that night. I also cant breathe sometimes, and my heart beats super fast whenever I think about you, or if you're with someone else,” you took a breath as he watched you intently. “I don't know if its because you hate me and I cant shake it, or that I still want to sleep with you, or the fact that I want more than that but I’m no good for you but I want to be—”

“Oxytocin.” he smiled, his eyes sparkling.

You stopped, realizing you were so close to him that your shoes were almost bumping together. “What?”

“Your chemical reaction,” he said, reaching out to brush your hair away from your face. The minute his skin met yours, you felt your heart beat even faster. “It’s especially prominent with…skin to skin contact.” the pads of his fingers caressed your cheek.

You felt calm as he touched you. Like you needed it. Only him.

“What does that mean?” you asked him, a whisper.

He smiled, grabbing your face in his hands. “It means attachment. You're attached to me.”

You met eyes with him, looking at how they searched your face for any answer. 

“...Yes. you're right,” you bit your lip as he looked down at you with amusement. “All I know is that I feel so much better now that you're in front of me.”

He smiled. “Good. because I do too,” he looked at your lips, ready to lean down and kiss them. “But just so you know, I plan on ripping your clothes off again. Right here, right now, so you better tell me it won't be the last time. I don't want to hear you say bye to me ever again.”

You nodded in his grip, your face inching towards his. “Mhm. Yeah. I’ll always say hello to you. No bye’s.”

He pressed his forehead into yours. “None.” 

His lips met yours like it was the first time, and you smiled into the kiss like a schoolgirl. You wrapped your arm around his shoulders, kissing him and kissing him like you were made for him.

He made love to you on the couch of the on-call room, making new marks on your thighs and your neck. You never wanted it to end, and this time, it didn't have to.

“I’ll be the only one who gets to rip  your dresses, alright?” he growled in your ear, professing his attraction and attachment to you through actions. 

he hated having to leave you in the morning. you looked so cute cuddled underneath the blanket, it hurt having to disturb your sleep but he had urges. he’d gently wake you up with the sweetest kisses, peppering your face with his lips over and over until you were whining for him to stop.

“come take a shower with me,” he asked in his dreamy voice that makes your knees weak. he knew you wanted to burrow yourself under the quilt until you slipped back into unconsciousness. but he knew how to get what he wanted from you. it might be difficult at first, you’d complain to him that it was too early for you to get up and that you didn’t really want to shower right now but. but soon enough, he has you stripped of your clothes and standing under the showerhead.

“kou, you’re gonna be late for work,” you mumble, letting the water drizzle on your face to wake up faster. you wanted to be out as quickly as possible to have time to make suga a quick breakfast before he leaves. your boyfriend had other things on his mind from the way his soapy hands lather up and down your body, stopping right at the swell of your breasts.

suga giggles behind you, his cock heavy between his legs. “i’ve got plenty of time,” he says, rolling your cute little buds between his fingers. you wish he would wait until you wouldn’t do this to you right now. it’s bad enough that you’re trying your best to wake up so you don’t slip in the tub but now your incredibly horny boyfriend has set his sights on you and he won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

not to worry, though. he’d never make you do all the work. most times, you just have to sit there and look pretty while he has his way with you and as a reward, you’ll get to feel good too. suga flips you so your back is on the cold tile, lifting your leg ever so slightly so he could line his cock up to your cunt. it’s laughable how easy he’s able to slide in—as if you’d ever resist him.

“such a good way to start my morning. you’re always so perfect for me, baby,” he says against your lips, water hitting his back as he drills his hips into you. “gonna be thinking about this all day until i get home and fuck you again.”

he was too vulgar for the morning, too much for your already foggy brain to comprehend. but he didn’t need you to be smart, just pretty and willing—and the way you spread your legs for him proved that you could be just that.

your legs start to feel like jelly but you know he won’t let you slip, but he can feel your walls constrict around him just as his own hips jerk sloppily. “my sweet baby’s gonna cum? it’s okay, you can let go,” he rambles, thumbing at your clit. “fuck, i love you so much. gonna drown you in my cum.”

both of you cum together, his seed running down your thighs and down the drain. suga finishes washing the both of you up and carries you back into the bedroom to help you get dressed. he looks so cute in his dress shirt and work tie that you forget how much of a menace he could be.

of course, you’re not innocent either. when it’s time for him to finally leave, you’re whining with your face in the crook of his neck. “i’ll suck you off if you stay,” but as tempting as your offer is, suga’s doesn’t give in and kisses you one last time before heading out the door.

“be a good girl for me, okay? i love you,” he’s finally gone and you’re left feeling a little empty. that boy has always had a bad influence on you.

sugawarassoulmate 3k follower event

when he first mentioned his grades dropping you were quite confused, you’ve always known sugawara to be a good student, never once having to ask someone else for help. however, when he told you it was because of volleyball, all your confusion was cleared up. sugawara loves volleyball more than anything, so when it comes to doing homework or practicing for an upcoming game, he’s going to choose volleyball every time.

that’s when he asked you to tutor him, leaving you wondering why he would ask you, someone he rarely talks to anymore, to help him with his schoolwork out of everyone else in the world.

now, obviously, you said yes, you’ve known sugawara for years now—he’s a family friend who, up until the beginning of your third year, you had seen as your best friend—and you couldn’t find it in your heart to come up with an excuse as to why you couldn’t spend an hour or two with him a few days out of the week to help get his grades up. and you definitely couldn’t turn him down when he asked you in that soft, polite voice of his, "would you help me out? please, y/n, just a little help so i don’t have to leave the volleyball team?"

the two of you first met up the monday after he asked you. you were the one who suggested going to the library, you knew it would be quiet and the perfect place to study, but your real reason for not wanting to invite him to your house was because you knew your mom would distract him with questions, asking him how he’s been and why he hasn’t been around the house as much lately.

you also knew that due to your soft spot, or crush as many of your friends would call it, for sugawara, you would end up getting distracted by the old memories of you two hanging out and having sleepovers last year and no work would get done if the two of you were alone in your room together.

so you decided that being surrounded by books and other people trying to study as well would be the best option for the two of you.

however, your 'great idea' was proved very wrong after the first study session.

the entire three hours you were in the library with him was spent talking about absolutely everything other than school. you talked about music, volleyball, clothing, the new movies and tv shows that were coming out, you even talked about each other’s relationship statuses.

and you didn’t see anything wrong with the way you two caught up until you got home and stared at your ceiling as you replayed your conversations in your head. that’s when you realized the location of your tutoring sessions wasn’t the problem, the problem was you did have a crush on sugawara, and that was the thing stopping you from helping him.

so of course you spent the rest of the night overthinking everything that happened, trying to think back to the way you were talking, wondering if your long-time crush on his was obvious. and that just led you to call your friend to rant about your feelings for sugawara not going away over the break before third year started like you had hoped they did. everything you felt for him was still very much there, despite the fact that you had gotten into a relationship at the beginning of the school year that had lasted up until a month ago.

after you hung up on your friend you told yourself you were going to lose feelings for sugawara by tomorrow, that you would sleep these feelings away and the two of you would just be friends, nothing more, nothing less.

you met up with sugawara again on thursday, three days after you’d come to the realization that you still liked him. three days after you’d convinced yourself that 'sleeping the feelings away' was a real thing. it wasn’t, and it was quite obvious when you saw him walk into the library with daichi.

he had changed back into his school uniform after practice, it was clear he was rushed out of the locker room seeing as he was only in his black slacks and white collared shirt, the black gakuran and cream sweater probably shoved in his bag or forgotten in the gym somewhere.

sugawara smiled as he said goodbye to daichi, but not before daichi pointed out that not all of the buttons on his shirt had been done. sugawara thanked him and waved as daichi walked away. he turned to the tables in the library to search for you, but you had already seen him and were currently staring way too hard at the way his long fingers were fixing the buttons on his shirt.

you watched as one of his hands stopped messing with his shirt and started waving at you, which snapped you out of your stare. you blinked a few times and hoped that he didn’t notice your lingering gaze or the way you felt your cheeks heat up when he flashed you an excited smile.

the words of your friend rang in your head, "just be straight up with him, let him know that you’re just here to help him with his grades and that’s it. come on, y/n, you don’t have time for his 'maybe i like you, maybe i don’t' games anymore, you’re better than this!" and you knew she was right, but you didn’t have it in your heart to say that to him, so instead you greeted him with a nice smile and waited for him to pull out his homework.

"hi! how are you? i didn’t see you around school today, i was gonna try and find you to talk about my homework, but..." sugawara trailed off, waiting for you to answer his silent question of where you were.

"oh, uh, yeah, i was pretty tired today so i didn’t want to socialize," you lied, in reality, you just didn’t want to deal with how nervous you get around him, always stumbling over your words or accidentally saying the wrong thing.

he paused as he went to grab his notebook from his backpack, "if you’re tired we don’t have to study today, we can meet up tomorrow inste—"

"no, no, that’s not what i meant! i didn’t mean it like that, i guess i woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something, but i’m good now!"

he smiled and mumbled an 'okay, great!' before setting his books down on the table, flipping them open to the pages he had marked that he needed help on.

the next two hours flew by fast, maybe it was because your mind was on an endless loop of thinking thoughts you shouldn’t be thinking about your childhood best friend, or maybe it was because studying with sugawara like you used to do every day after school just felt normal.

the quiet sound of his phone buzzing on the table catches both of your attention. he picked it up and looked at the text he just received, the happy look on his face slowly turned into a disappointed one. he turned to make direct eye contact with you as he opened his mouth to speak, "damn, my mom wants me home, i’m sorry, i—"

you cut him off, "hey, it’s no big deal, i-i’m not busy this month so i can tutor you anytime."

the smile you know all too well made its way back onto sugawara’s face, "okay, cool! i have a pretty important test next week so... think you could come over this weekend? y’know, just for some more practice?" he asked.

"l-like come over as in go to your— your house?" your breath hitched as he stood up and shoved his books in his backpack.

"well, yeah, what else would i mean?" he chuckled. you shrugged, embarrassed by your stupid question as you began putting your stuff back in your bag as well, standing up once you were finished.

you both reached for the book that was on the table in front of you at the same time, fingertips barely brushing each other, but it was enough to send shivers down your spine. thankfully, he pulled his hand away and mumbled an apology.

the two of you walked out of the library together, side to side as you reviewed what you went over today. he held the door open for you as you walked out and you thanked him, feeling your face heat up at his actions.

"so i’ll see you satur— no, see you sunday?" he asked and you nod.

"uh, yeah, i’ll be over around noon-ish? i gotta help my mom with some stuff in the morning then i’ll head that way," you told him. he went to say something but you spoke up again, remembering you were still holding his book, "oh, sorry, i forgot i was still holding your book... here."

he grabbed the book from you with a smile, "thank you, y/n, for everything, i appreciate it."

"y-yeah, of course, anything you— for you— anything for you," you stuttered and shook your head in embarrassment.

he let out a chuckle and leaned down, kissing your cheek, making your face heat up even more. he smiled at you again and said, "goodbye, y/n."

you stood there in shock as he walked away, your thoughts racing a mile a minute, wondering how else sugawara had changed in the months you hadn’t spoken to him. you never took him as the kind of person to do these kinds of things, like kiss your cheek after a tutoring session.

so when sunday rolled around you wanted to scream, wanted to text him and tell him you couldn’t make it, knowing after what he did on thursday you wouldn’t be able to hold a conversation with him. the idea of seeing the boy you’d known for years, had a crush on for years, after months of not speaking, months of change and growth, was terrifying to you.

you wanted to type out a message, saying your mother wasn’t feeling good and you felt like you should stay with her in case something bad happened. you wanted to lie to him, lie to the person you swore you would never lie to, the person who knows when you’re lying because he knows everything about you, or almost everything at least.

he doesn’t know you like him, well, you hope he doesn’t. you hope the feelings for have for him aren’t as obvious as they seem, you don’t know what you would do if they were. you’d probably crumble in on yourself and pray to whoever’s listening that you disappear and never come back.

but you don’t. you don’t text him a painfully see-through lie, you don’t bail on him, and you don’t let yourself stutter and blush when he opens the door on sunday with a bright look on his beautiful face.

he greeted you with a 'hello' and let you into the house you’ve spent many nights in. he led you up to his bedroom and sat at the desk, letting you sit on the bed so he wasn’t intruding on your personal space like he’d done when he kissed you. no, you reminded yourself, he didn’t kiss me, he kissed my cheek. and it wasn’t even a kiss, more like a peck. yeah, a peck! friends do that all the time... right?

sugawara was the first to speak up, asking how your weekend was, what you did, and you knew he was just trying to make friendly conversation, make you feel more comfortable in his house, but you couldn’t help but notice how all of his responses were said in a flirtatious tone, filled with another meaning behind them, and it made you wonder what he was doing.

"then i went to the grocery store to buy my mom those cookies she loves, y’know the chocolate-filled ones that we used to eat all the time," you said as you highlighted the spelling errors in his essay.

he nodded before letting out a laugh, "remember that day we snuck into the kitchen and found where your mom was hiding them and then ate them all? god, she was so mad at us."

you giggled at the memory, "i do remember that! the second you left she yelled at me, she probably yelled at me for a solid hour. i kept telling her 'they’re just cookies, they’re just cookies,' but she was pissed!"

"that was hilarious... hey... wasn’t that the day i—"

"yeah, it was," you cut him off, not wanting to relive the memory of him offering to give you your first kiss. the words he said rang in your ears: i could be your first kiss if you want? just so you don’t have to be nervous when the time comes around...

the room fell into an uncomfortable silence before you spoke up again, telling him you’d finished correcting his essay. he stood up and walked over to you, sitting down on the bed right beside you, legs almost touching so he could read all the notes you made on the paper.

"wow, i guess i’m not as good at writing essays as i thought i was," he joked and you laughed.

"good thing i’m here, huh?" you shrugged.

"yeah, good thing you’re here," he echoed, looking up at you when he closed his mouth. his big, brown eyes scanned your face, focusing on your beauty marks before landing on lips.

"can i kiss you?" he asked suddenly, voice quiet and nervous as if he didn’t want to say the wrong thing. you looked down to his lips, then to his wide eyes, nodding slowly and sheepishly as you let his essay fall to the floor.

his soft lips met yours, taking your face in one of his hands while the other kept him balanced on the bed. your hand placed itself on his shoulder, gradually moving to tangle into his hair. you didn’t know what you were doing, your body was on autopilot as you moved. but as much as you didn’t know what you were doing, you didn’t want to stop, you didn’t want him to stop.

your heart beat out of your chest as you felt his hand move a little so his thumb could trace over your cheekbone. his touch was beginning to become overwhelming and your skin grew hot. your brain was screaming at you to pull away, but your body had other ideas when you grabbed the collar of his shirt and twisted it to pull him closer.

you’d be lying if you said you’d never thought about kissing sugawara outside of the day he gave you your first kiss. you would have been stupid to try and convince yourself that. you’ve thought about it for years, god, you can remember a time you weren’t thinking about sugawara.

"closer, closer," he mumbled against your lips, hands moving to gently pull at your waist. you hesitated, but only for a second before you shifted slightly toward him, but something inside him snapped and he pulled you atop him quickly. your lips detached and you rested your forehead against his, legs straddling his waist as he leans back against the wall.

"suga..." you whispered, completely out of air from your previous actions, your chest rose and fell as you attempted to catch your breath.

"will you just—" he cut himself off this time, tilting your head down so your mouth met his again, this time with more passion.

sugawara’s large hands skimmed up and down your sides and back, not wanting to overstep your boundaries, but it’s obvious he needs more, you can feel it. he’s everywhere all at once and it’s too much to handle, he’s too much.

he took in a sharp inhale and his grip dropped from your waist to your hips, squeezing harshly when you shifted slightly to be even closer to him. he cursed under his breath, feeling your hands tangle into his hair again before he tilts his head to kiss you again.

"you— god, y/n, you— shit," he murmured, trying to express his thoughts but not knowing how. he gave up on trying to speak and just kissed you, one hand moving from your hips up your back, landing on your neck so he could cradle your face.

you attempted to lean into his touch, but you lost control and fell flush against his chest. you tried not to focus on the fact that you were sitting just above his waist, the most intimate parts of both of you were inches away from each other, and the way he was kissing you had you wanting to grind down on him.

no, y/n! what are you thinking? you asked yourself, he’s supposed to be your best friend! you’re not supposed to have these thoughts about him!

but you don’t stop, not when he takes your bottom lip in his teeth and nips and tugs at it lightly, just enough to coax a gasp from you as he slides his hands over your hips again, almost as if he was memorizing the curves in your skin.

your hands slid down his chest just enough to take his shirt in your hands, gripping at the collar to tug him closer, as if you two were already pressed right up against each other. his grip on your waist grew tighter before his hands fell to grasp your thighs. your hips rose involuntarily into his hold on you and he moved your hips closer to him, your ass resting against his hips when you sit back down.

sugawara felt a groan bubble up in his throat as your backside brushed against him, and that’s when it clicked in his head that he needed more. his hands began guiding your hips to drag over his cock, slowly and deeply. you whined at his touch and he feels himself twitch in his pants as you do so. at the sound of your whine, sugawara wonders if anyone had ever touched you like this before, and even if someone had, it wouldn’t be the same, nothing could compare to the feeling of your childhood best friend grinding you down on his cock like this.

you decided to take control of your movements, the voices in your head beginning to sound reasonable as they told you to stop what you were doing, that this wasn’t right. you didn’t want to go any further, but you also didn’t want to stop, it felt too good to stop.

"y/n, fuck," sugawara groaned and your hips almost stopped moving at the sound of him swearing. it was rare to hear him curse, he always tried to keep his composure and not let this side of him come out. "don’t fuckin’ stop."

he detached your lips again and moved to press kisses onto your neck, which made your eyes flutter and mouth drop open. a shiver went down your spine at the feeling, tiny whimpers escaping your mouth.

sugawara took a moment to open his eyes and look at the sight in front of him, trying to engrave the memory of his friend grinding down on top of him as he kissed up your neck.

"suga— sugawara," you said, your words coming out like a moan. and that’s when your eyes snapped open, finally realizing what you were doing and just how wrong it was.

"sugawara," you spoke again and he looked up at you, not knowing if you were begging for more or warning him to stop, but by the way your hips had stopped moving and your hands had left his hair, he took it as you were telling him to stop.

"we— we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to," he reassured you, not wanting to make you uncomfortable with what was happening. you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in, silently thanking him in your mind for not pressuring you into doing anything.

"it’s just— we... okay, um, this shouldn’t have happened," you told him as you climb off his lap, standing up and walking over to the mirror to fix your hair and clothes, "we’re friends and friends don’t do this sort of stuff. i’m supposed to be helping you with your essay and homework, i came over to tutor you and then this happened and—"

"hey, hey, hey, calm down, it’s okay. look, i got carried away and i shouldn’t have done that," sugawara explained, trying to calm you down so you didn’t freak out at the thought of making out with the guy you’ve had a crush on for years. "we can forget it ever happened if you want to?"

as he uttered those words, you felt your heart break. the way he was able to suggest forgetting all about what just happened so easily hurt, but you knew it was for the best.

"yeah, yeah, let’s do that," you responded, hating the words that flowed from your mouth. you looked over at him sitting on the bed, hair messed up, a little of your lipstick smeared on his mouth, shirt wrinkled, but he still somehow looked so, so good.

you quickly grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder, picking your phone up off the desk and shoving it in the bag as well. your feet moved to walk to his bedroom door without you telling them to, you placed your shaking hand on the doorknob and mumbled the words, "uh, i should... yeah, i should go. bye, sugawara."

you left before he could say a word, hurriedly going down the stairs and exiting his house so you didn’t give in and go back up to his bedroom.

once you reached the sidewalk you looked back at his house, eyes easily finding his window. the blinds were open and you could see him sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. you could tell he was thinking the same things as you, what would’ve happened if you stayed? would your friendship have been ruined? would it be awkward when he saw you around school or at his volleyball games? what about when he saw you at the barbecues your families occasionally had together, what would happen then?

the thought of him kissing you ruining your friendship filled your head for the rest of the day. would he have one of your mutual friends tell you he doesn’t need you to tutor him anymore? would he avoid you for the rest of his life?

your questions were answered when your attention was caught by the feeling of your phone buzzing beside you on your bed. you read over his text notification, wondering if you should unlock it to see what he said. and before you could back out and turn your phone off, your fingers unlocked your phone and opened the message.

hey, just wanted to tell you again that i’m sorry for what happened today. it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing, completely my fault, and it won’t happen again. really hoping you’re still okay with tutoring me, if not, it’s totally fine and i won’t be angry at your decision. just let me know, yeah?

you reread the text probably ten times, overthinking everything he said. was it really just a spur-of-the-moment thing? would he not have done that in any other situation? does he not like you the way like him and it was just your kindness that made him kiss you? did he mean that it wouldn’t happen again? did you want it to happen again?

"fuck," you whispered to yourself, laying back against your bed as you tried to find the right words to respond with.

hi, suga, you typed, there’s nothing to apologize for, it’s my fault, too. i got carried away as well and i shouldn’t have let that happen. i don’t want this to ruin our friendship so let’s just be mature about this, forget, and move on. i’d be happy to continue tutoring you, you are my friend after all :) i’m free tomorrow if you want to meet up in the library after school again!

you decided that was good enough and sent the text. the message delivered and he read it instantly, quickly typing out awesome! see you then :) to which you replied to with simple a thumbs up.

and now it’s monday, the day you were dreading even more than the first three days you agreed to tutor him on, but this time you weren’t dreading it because you have a crush on him, this time it was because you had to see him less than twenty-four hours after you’d made out with him on his bed.

so here you two are, getting scolded by the librarian for being too loud in the dead silent library. you were attempting, and failing, to keep your laughter in as sugawara profusely apologized to the lady, promising on his life that it wouldn’t happen again as she threatened to ban the both of you from her library.

finally, she stopped yelling at you and let you leave, both of you falling into a fit of laughter when the library door closed behind her and she stomped off angrily, watching through the windows to make sure you didn’t try and walk back in.

"and if i see you two back here again, laughing like it’s nobody’s business, i will not hesitate to call the police!" sugawara repeats her words in a funny voice that only makes you laugh harder.

"stop, stop, i can’t breathe!" you beg, knowing you’ll fall over on the ground if you don’t stop laughing. he looks over at you, clenching your stomach as you try and calm your laughter. he smiles, asking himself why he ever stopped talking to you.

eventually, you two made it to your house, telling him your mom wasn’t home so it would be quiet like the library. although technically it wasn’t a lie, your mom really was at work, that wasn’t why you wanted to go to your house instead of his. the real reason being you didn’t think you could be in his room without thinking back to yesterday’s events.

you unlock the door to your house and move aside so sugawara can come in. he looks around at the small changes your mother has made to the interior of your home before following you to your bedroom like he’s done a million times before.

the two of you don’t say much as you make yourselves comfortable on your bed and pull out your schoolwork. sugawara is quick to get distracted by a picture frame on your dresser. "suga, we’re supposed to be studying."

he mumbles a 'yeah, yeah, whatever' and stands up to continue looking at the picture. he picks it up gently and runs his thumb over the frame, smiling at the thought of you keeping the picture of you two from so many years ago, "you still have this?"

"'course i do, why would i get rid of it?" you ask and he shrugs, moving back over to sit down next to you again, this time closer, legs almost touching just like they were yesterday.

he notices you staring at his thigh directly beside yours and mumbles a quick apology and moves over a bit. your eyes scan up his body, landing on his perfectly plump lips, then up to his eyes.

you watch him lean in and you do the same, mirroring his actions, but right before your lips touch his, you lean back, hesitating, knowing that if you two kiss again it would surely be the end of your friendship, whether that’s a good or a bad thing.

the thought of your friendship being ruined flies out of your head, deciding you don’t care, all you care about at this moment is kissing sugawara, so you do. or maybe he does, you can’t tell who kissed who first, all you know is he’s pulling you into him, hungrily crashing his lips onto yours.

sugawara’s lips are soft and they taste like vanilla, making you want to stay in this moment forever. you let out a small sigh, years of suppressed feelings surging forward as you whine into his mouth, desperate for more. the groan that leaves his throat in response tells you he understands what you’re trying to say, and he confirms that by lifting you and setting you on his lap, pressing you both further together. you wrap your arms around his neck, fingers threading into his hair and pulling slightly.

sugawara’s tongue dances with yours, exploring your mouth and tasting you. finally, he thought. he had longed for this moment for years—the feeling of your soft skin under his hands, the taste of your lips, sweet and minty from the gum you had earlier, and you were so warm against him.

it’s so much, too much, but nowhere near enough at the same time. you feel stupid, completely dumbed by the feeling of his lips on yours. your head feels like it’s spinning and all you can think about is him and the way his fingers are gently tracing up your back, catching the hem of your shirt every once in a while.

another pathetic sound escapes your mouth and his hips shift at the noise, bumping up against yours and releasing another whimper from you at the wave of pleasure surging through your body.

"sugawara," you mewl as you begin grinding down on him again, your words muffled against his intoxicating lips. "i-i thought we said—shit—said we weren’t gonna let this happen again..."

"do you, do you want to stop?" he asks, his hips bucking up to meet yours in an attempt to feel more friction. you feel a moan bubble up your throat at the feeling and you detach your lips from his, setting your head in the crook of his neck so you could bring all your attention to grinding your hips down.

sugawara’s hands move to your thighs, trying to get you to slow down, his self-control already deteriorating at the sight of you on top of him. he groans into the skin below your jaw and ear, "y/n, you gotta tell me what you want. fuck, y/n, you’re so—”

he bucks his hips up against you again, earning a low moan from you. you shift your legs to get a better angle, this time swiveling your hips in a way that made him dizzy. he couldn’t believe that you were on top of him right now, grinding down on his cock and whimpering into his shoulder. it was becoming too much to handle, he was going to get carried away.

sugawara pulls away quickly, breathing heavily as he uses his hands to prop him up. his eyes scan over your figure, jaw slacking at the constant, shifting pressure against his dick. your hands come down on his stomach, holding yourself up like that now that you can’t lean into his chest. your mouth was open slightly, tiny little moans leaving your parted lips as you get yourself off. sugawara just helps you, he helps you and ruts further against your cunt, low groans coming from his throat.

"oh my— suga," you whine, fingers digging into his shirt at the new feeling, grasping the fabric in your fists. he knew he was getting carried away, but he had no idea if you were, which is what led him to bring his hands to your hips and stop your movements. you try to continue moving, but his grip is too strong and you give up, looking up into his eyes to silently ask him why he stopped.

"answer my question," he demands, voice low and somehow controlled even after everything. your eyes fall and land on where your hands lay on his stomach, trying to remember what he asked. he pinches your hip to bring your attention back to him. "do you want to stop?" he asks.

you shake your head quickly, almost too quickly, "no. no, wanna keep going, wanna feel good, p-please."

the sound of you begging almost makes him give in right then and there, but he bites the inside of his cheek to stay calm and speaks up again, "tell me what you want."

"you! jus’ want you! suga, please," you beg, beginning to feel embarrassed by your pleads, still trying to move your hips against his, but his strong grip from years of volleyball refuses to let you.

"nuh-uh, not good enough," he tells you, squeezing your hips for emphasis. "tell me exactly what you want or you’re not going to get anything at all."

you almost gasp at his threatening words and you try to find the words to express how you’re feeling. but that’s when it hits you, you don’t even know what you want, the only thing running through your mind is suga, suga, suga.

"tch. silly little girl, a few touches here and there and you go dumb?" he asks, though it’s more of a statement than anything, he knows his words are true and so do you.

your eyes widen and you shake your head again, "no, please. i- i just want you, koushi! and..." you trail off and look down where you hover over his cock, "and i wanna make you feel good."

one of his hands reaches up to cup your jaw, thumb rubbing against your cheek gently for a moment, then moving toward your lips. his thumb follows the dips and mounds of your lips before resting tenderly against the center of your bottom lip. he uses his thumb to pull it down before letting it flick back up.

he does the same thing again, only this time when he pulls your bottom lip down, he pushes his thumb into your mouth ever so slightly, and then pulls it away. you try to lean forward in an attempt to kiss him, but he holds you in place and shakes his head, running his thumb over your lips again before opening his mouth slightly as a silent way to get you to mirror his actions and when you do, he pushes his thumb completely into your mouth.

"is that so? you just want to make me feel good?" sugawara asks, the tone of his voice almost seeming taunting, but you nod anyway.

he inches his thumb deeper into your mouth and presses down on your tongue, groaning a low 'suck' as your hands rake down his chest and stomach, feeling the muscles of his stomach tense underneath his white button-up shirt. your lips wrap around his thumb and you hollow your cheeks, but you get distracted by the feeling of his hand traveling toward your ass. you arch your back slightly to encourage him to keep going, but he lets out another groan when your movements make your cunt shift and brush against his cock.

he quickly removes his thumb from your mouth and grabs your jaw to make you meet his eyes again. sugawara release his grip on your ass and brings his hand up into your hair, gently pulling on it to expose your neck. he says something under his breath, more to himself than you and it was so quiet you almost didn’t hear it, "you drive me insane."

he keeps one hand in your hair and one on your waist as he sucks gently on the skin of your neck, marking you with little nips and bites every so often. his warm, wet tongue suddenly glides over the light marks he made and the feeling has you shaking in his lap.

you gasp when he begins sucking on your neck in a spot that has you wanting more, needing more. you dig your nails into his shoulders and he hisses against your skin, leaving his spot on your neck to come up to your face, leaving kisses along your jawline before looking into your eyes.

"kiss me, please," you whisper, "please." he smirks at your pleads and leans in to mesh his lips with yours. you want to tangle your hands in his hair again but you settle with twisting his wrinkled shirt in your hands, tugging on it in a silent attempt to ask for more, already embarrassed by the amount of begging you’ve done.

sugawara swipes his tongue across your bottom lip and you open your mouth to deepen the kiss. it’s slow, messy, but you still find yourself moaning into the sensation, holding onto him tightly as if he’ll pull away before you’re ready.

the hand on your waist moves up to mold to your shoulder, but not before he shifts your body to position your cunt on his thigh, bouncing his leg to get you to grind down on it. you moan his name and he pulls away from your lips, murmuring something about being quiet for him as he watches you shake with every swivel of your hips.

"koushi, please, i—" you moan as his hand presses flat against your collarbone, dragging down to begin unbuttoning your shirt. he undoes it just enough to expose the top of your bra. you shiver as he runs his fingertips across your chest, his darkened eyes snap up to yours as his hand trails back up your skin.

"shh, you’re fine," he coos, heat prickling across your skin from his touch. you just want to press yourself up against him, but you know with the grip he has on you, that won’t be happening anytime soon.

all of his movements are so precise as if he’s thought about this exact moment a thousand times before, like he’s written out an agenda in his head and knows exactly what comes next; and it’s making your head spin. you suck in a deep breath as his hand rests on the bottom of your throat, your head tilting back at the feeling and your eyes flutter shut.

you almost melt into him when his long fingers wrap around your throat, because although you knew it was coming, his actions still surprised you, making you gasp and look down at him, your eyes widening with lust at his touch.

sugawara is breathing hard himself, taking a deep breath before pressing his palm up against your trachea and squeezing down on either side of your neck until your eyes flutter shut again and you moan at the sensation. your breasts press into his chest with how heavy you’re breathing, mind completely empty other than the feeling of his hands on you.

you whimper his name and rock your hips forward against his thigh, begging him for more. you’ve never had anyone touch you like that, touch you in such a possessive way... to be fair, you were somewhat inexperienced, your last boyfriend was your first for everything—except your first kiss of course, that belonged to sugawara. but with your ex-boyfriend, it was always the same thing, simple and almost boring sex, but with sugawara, you could easily tell it was going to be much different.

you look at him with wide eyes and he knows what you want, so he leans in once again and kisses you. this time he’s not moving slowly, it’s not soft and gentle like he’d kissed you before, this time it’s rough and messy. he pulls you closer by your neck so he can have better access to your body, he uses the hand that was tangled in your hair to explore your body in places he’s never touched before.

never would you expect sugawara koushi, warm-hearted, compassionate, respectful sugawara koushi, the boy every parent wants their children to bring home, to be the one to handle you like this. it’s dizzying, the way he roughly moves you on his thigh as he squeezes again at your throat, playing with constriction for a moment until he feels you tighten your grip on his shirt. he removes his hand and lips, letting you shove your face into the crook of his neck to catch your breath as adrenaline courses through your body.

"hey, pretty girl, look at me," he says softly, rubbing his hand up and down your back to calm you down. after a few seconds, you lift your head off his shoulder and make eye contact with him, his eyes still dark and full of lust.

"you okay?" he asks, the look on his face softening to show that he’s really listening, "you still wanna continue, sweetheart?"

your cheeks heat up at the name and you nod, but he raises an eyebrow and you know he needs to hear you say it or he won’t do anything.

"mhm, yes, suga, please," you tell him as you release your grip on his shirt to drag your hand down and over his clothed cock. a low growl escapes his throat and his hand quickly wraps around your wrist, moving your hand off of him.

sugawara places a hand on your cheek and pulls you toward him, pecking your lips lightly before bouncing his leg once more to earn a gasp from you. he chuckles and moves to unbutton his shirt, "go on, get on your knees."

you sit up and crawl off his lap, setting yourself down on the floor, leaning back on your heels. sugawara raises his eyebrow again, confused as to why you haven’t taken his cock out yet, "well, what’re you waiting for, y/n?"

your eyebrows furrow, you, too, were confused at your actions. you suck in a breath, "i-i don’t know... 'm sorry. suga, i— can i?"

he smirks, loving that he didn’t even have to tell you to wait for permission, you just did, as if you read his mind, already submitting to him just like he wanted. however, now what he wanted was to hear you beg, "can you what?"

you lie your head on his knee, letting out a whine in hopes he won’t make you say it.

"tell me, what did i say earlier?" he asks, bringing his hand to your cheek again to push the loose strands of hair behind your ear. he can tell you’re desperately trying to remember what he said, but your brain, clouded with the desire to please him, just couldn’t think of his words. "i said, tell me exactly what you want or you’re—"

"or i’m not going to get anything at all," you finish, leaning into his touch in an attempt to feel his hands on your body again, but he pulls his hand away as soon as he realizes what you’re doing.

"there you go, princess, maybe you’re not so dumb after all," sugawara responds, smirking as you let out another whine at his reply. he hooks a finger under your chin and lifts it to make eye contact with you, "so, what do you—" he watches your mouth open and sees that you were going to cut him off, his hand moves and grips your face, squeezing your cheeks together, "i’m speaking right now, y/n, be a good girl and wait your turn... now, answer me, can you what?"

he releases his harsh grip on your face so you can speak and moves his hand to trail his fingers up and down the side of your neck, sending shivers down your throat as he waits. you gulp quietly, trying to figure out how to say the words you want to say without embarrassing yourself further, "c-can i suck your cock? please?"

he smiles and nods and you lean forward to undo his belt and pants. you look up at him as you do so, trailing your eyes up his torso which was still somewhat covered by his shirt, he’d only unbuttoned it enough for you to get a peek of his toned body. you rub your palm across the rock hard curve as you feel back his black slacks until you can see the tip of his pretty cock.

he helps you pull his pants down his thighs so all of him was exposed, and he holds back a chuckle at your surprised look when you finally take his thick, warm, and already leaking cock in your small hands only to see that your fingers don’t meet around it.

sugawara watches you blink at the sight and his heart flutters in his chest as your eyes ease shut and you press his warm length against your soft lips, tongue swirling up the dark vein along the underside. he groans and brushes your hair out of your face as you languidly suck at the pink head with a hum. sugawara takes a heavy breath to control himself when you work him deeper into your mouth, his thighs flexing under your hands and cock getting impossibly harder at the feeling.

"oh fuck, princess," sugawara mumbles as you bob up, twisting your head slowly while taking him to the back of your throat, the beginnings of dark spots forming on his pants from your spit dripping down. he takes a big fistful of your hair, feeling himself start to lose control, and you feel it, too, so you let your neck go lax, allowing koushi to bob your head slowly up and down his cock, opening your throat for the push of his cock.

something flips in sugawara’s head at the sight of your eyes starting to tear up as you suck his cock, and he bucks his hips up experimentally to see your response, and when you just barely gag at the feeling, sugawara thinks he might be in heaven. he uses his harsh grip in your hair to pull you off his cock, "you’re such a good girl, taking my cock so fucking well."

"please," you beg, digging your nails lightly into his thighs, "want you to feel good, want you to use me."

his fist in your hair pulls tighter on the roots as you speak, tilting your head up so he could see you easier, before shoving you back down on his length.

his jaw slacks, lips parted, and eyes heavy as he watches you allow him to move your head and thrust up gently into your mouth. you get an idea and think about it for a second before deciding to moan around his cock so his grip would loosen at the feeling of the vibrations filling his senses and you could take control of your motions again. you let your tongue drag and swirl around the head of his cock before suckling your lips around it, hollowing your cheeks, and pulling back until it pops free with a wet sound. sugawara hisses and grits his teeth, and lets his head drop back, "shit, do that again."

you smile at his reaction and move to do it again, but as you suck on the tip of his cock this time, he bucks his hips and pushes the head of his length against the inside of your cheek until it has no choice but to push down the tight tunnel of your throat and you take a deep breath in an attempt to not gag.

he whispers out a slurred apology when he realizes how tight he was gripping your hair, but you give him a look that tells him you don’t mind—you like when he’s rough. sugawara holds back a smirk and his legs bend on either side of you to carefully work his hips back and forth.

you can feel him holding back, he’s not going as deep as he could, so on one particular thrust, you push down, pressing your nose into the smooth skin of his pelvis. you swallow, gag, and feel his cock throb and thicken. koushi gasps, "fuck, so good, you’re so good, so pretty."

you moan at the praise or at least try to with his cock pressing against your airways, making your head heavy and pussy clench around nothing. sugawara watches you push and rub your thighs together to feel something, anything. you look at him again, giving him the same 'use me' look you did a minute ago and koushi groans, "you want me to fuck your throat, pretty girl?"

you nod eagerly and he pulls you off his cock, it’s messy as you drag your head up, stretching your lips as you pull off to gasp a breath. you peer up at him with wide eyes to answer his question, "yes, yes, please. i do, please!"

he shushes you and guides his leaking dick back between your swollen lips, mumbling a ‘come on, you can take it’ before you take a deep breath and sink yourself back down on him. he lets out a long groan and takes your hair back in his big hand before sending a harsh thrust down your throat and you gag in surprise, tears beginning to spill from your eyes. your nails are etched into his thighs, digging into the hard muscle as he uses you.

he likes you like this: tears swelling in your pretty eyes and flowing down your cheeks, drooling all over his cock, throat contracting as his tip slips down it and triggers your gag reflex. he loves the sound of you choking and whining around him. sugawara praises you under his breath and you moan, somehow hearing him over the wet sounds of you sucking his cock. he makes eye contact with you, "you like that? you like when i call you a good girl and praise you?"

he tilts his hips downward to send another inch down your throat, increasing his pace, looking down at your abused lips as he fucks his cock deeper and deeper. you moan in response, trying to tell him just how much you love it. your cunt has completely soaked your panties at this point, especially with how much you’ve attempted to grind your sensitive clit against the fabric as you look for release.

impatient, he thinks, but he can’t seem to do anything about it as his mouth drops open at the sensation of you running your tongue up the underside of his cock when he pulls out to let you take a breath. you look up at him, eyes full of submission. he loves it.

sugawara shoves you back down his length and your knees rack against the floor of your room with his every thrust, and you know there will be bruises there tomorrow morning, but you don’t mind. you take him deeper, feeling the sudden need to feel his cum down your throat. his chest rises and falls with every sharp inhale he takes, "such a good girl for me, so perfect, letting me fuck your pretty little mouth. s-shit— you’re gonna make me cum."

you moan to signal to him that that’s what you want, what you need and he grins, thrusts becoming sloppy as he gets closer to his release. "you want that?" he asks, long fingers curling around your neck lightly to feel the bulge of his cock in your throat. you lean further into his touch, chest pressing against the bed as you enjoy the lightheaded feeling. you do the best you can to nod at his words, but with his cock down your throat, one hand on your neck, and the other holding your hair, it’s a bit difficult.

"do you deserve it?" sugawara hums teasingly, keeping his composure even as his thighs start shaking slightly, bringing his hand away from your neck to run his thumb over your wet cheek. you whine, wordlessly begging for his cum. he shushes you, readjusting his grip on your hair so he can thrust deeper inside your mouth, "don’t worry, i’ll give it to you... then you’ll get your turn, too, yeah?"

you sink your mouth further down and he moans lowly, but it’s the prettiest sound you’ve ever heard and it encourages you to repeat your movements. his abdomen tightens with a surprised grunt when you bob back only an inch or so to swallow him down again. he moans once more and you take that as a warning to pull back so you don’t choke on his release. your mouth floods with his cum, you hum and swirl your tongue around his throbbing tip as you swallow all you can. you look up at sugawara as you suck him clean and dry, admiring the sight of his head thrown back as he moans your name over and over again, leaning forward as he begins to feel the sting of overstimulation.

you pull back with a thick swallow, teary eyes meeting his heavy gaze and you open your mouth to show him that you took it all happily.

"so good for me, c’mere," he slurs and pulls you up by your hair to kiss you. he shoves his tongue in your mouth, it’s lazy and slow as he explores your mouth, taking a moment to calm down, rid himself of his slacks, tuck himself back into his boxers before he places his large hands on your hips and quickly moves you onto the bed underneath him.

you squeal as his hands roam your body, finally trailing up your legs to feel under your skirt. koushi’s lips move down your neck, kissing and sucking at the skin lightly, one hand working to untuck your shirt while the other traces random shapes on the inside of your thighs, seemingly touching everywhere but the place you need him the most.

your legs spread further apart, allowing him to grind his still hard cock against your clothed cunt, eliciting a gasp from you, before he pulls back slightly where you can just barely feel his length against you.

the hand on the inside of your thigh moves up to join the other one as he unbuttons your shirt, kissing your chest gently after every few buttons come undone. sugawara pulls back to admire and engrave the sight of you with your eyes closed, panting hard after he’s barely touched you.

he helps you lift your shoulders so he can rid you of your white collared shirt, catching your lips in his as he throws it somewhere on the floor. he pulls back again to take it all in, the girl he’s loved for years is lying underneath him as she waits for him to make the next move.

"koushi, please," you whimper as one of his hands teases at the sensitive skin of your stomach. your hand reaches down to dig your nails into his forearm as his hand slides lower. you watch his every move, head tilting back as he slips his fingers past your waistband. you look up at him with wide eyes as you silently beg him for more.

arousal swirls in your stomach as his fingers brush over your clit with gentle, teasing ministrations. your jaw slacks as you feel the tension in your body drift away and return as pleasure. his eyes flick between his hand and your face, wishing he could see both your dripping pussy and pleasure-filled face at the same time as you come apart in his hands.

your hips jerk up into his touch as he teases your clit slowly and he gives you a look that warns you to stay still. sugawara knows you won’t be able to hold yourself together, so he does you a favor and shifts your legs to lie on the outside of his, leaving you unable to close your legs even if you tried.

his fingers move lower to ghost over your hole, collecting slick to make pushing his middle finger inside you more pleasant. you gasp and try to move but he presses his free hand down on your stomach to stop you. sugawara leans down and mumbles against your lips before kissing you, "shh, it’s okay, princess, let me take care of you."

he pushes his finger inside you, making your mouth drop open in a silent whine for more as he allows you to adjust to the feeling, "fuck, you’re so tight."

he begins sliding his finger in and out slowly, gently, and pleasure courses through you. your hand shoots out to grab onto the bedsheets as your head falls back into the pillows at the feeling.

"how you doing, pretty girl, feel good?" he asks, a genuine tone filling the air as he continues pumping his long, thick finger into you. you nod, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you try and keep quiet, the way you can barely do so makes him smirk.

sugawara feels your skirt touch his hand, his constant movement making it slip, and he gradually pulls his finger out of you to take your skirt off you. he’s almost sad to see it go, he loved how innocent you looked when you wore your school uniform as he fingered you. he dropped your skirt on the ground and took your panties off with it, giving him complete access to everything you had to offer.

"koushi, ple—" you cut yourself off with a moan when you felt his fingertips run over your clit again. you’ve been on the edge for what seems like hours, kissing and grinding and teasing, you don’t know how much more you can take.

"you’re good, i got you," he says, reassuring you as he wets his fingers with your slick again before slipping both his middle and ring finger into your dripping cunt.

you gasp in surprise, his fingers much longer and thicker than your own, reaching places you didn’t even know existed, and it makes you wonder what his cock will feel like inside you. the thought makes you squirm and sugawara holds back the urge to slap your thigh, warn you to stay still. instead, he gives you a look that says 'stay still or i won’t let you cum.'

sugawara moves his fingers faster, curling and scissoring inside you to stretch you open for him, eliciting loud cries from you as he does so. he loves watching you fall apart underneath him, begging for more as you tell him it’s too much. it’s cute that you can’t make up your mind, but you’ll be even cuter when he’s splitting you open with his cock.

"oh my— yes, suga! r-right there, please! please, again!" you moan as his fingers curl and hit your sweet spot with one specific thrust. he listened to your words and continued rubbing his finger pad against that spot, making your vision go spotty as the feeling in your stomach grows tighter. it’s almost humiliating how close you are, he’s just barely got his hands on you and you feel as if he’s going to make you cum already.

sugawara can feel you leaking on his fingers, your slick dripping down his wrist by how aroused you are. he can feel your cunt stretch around him, throbbing and clenching against his long and thick digits. his dilemma of not being able to watch your face and perfect little pussy at the same time made him sigh, he wanted to watch your eyes roll back into your head and tongue lol out as your cunt flutters nicely around him.

with the way you couldn’t keep your limbs still, he could tell it was getting to be too much: the feeling of his thumb on your clit as he shoves two big fingers into your tight cunt. he knew he was good, too, the moans constantly escaping your throat only spurred him on more. you let out an uncharacteristically loud moan, "please, sugawa— oh my god! please, please, please let me cum! fuck, i’m so close, please!"

he leans down to press his lips against yours, quieting your sobs of pleasure. he never stops moving his fingers inside you, repeatedly aiming for and rubbing the spongy spot that makes you moan his name louder and louder.

"yeah? you gonna cum?" sugawara asks and you nod vigorously, fingernails digging into his forearm, trying to tell him it was too much, the feeling too intense, "oh, come on, it’s not too much, you can take it, right? gonna be my good girl?"

you whine at his words, wanting so desperately to be his good girl, to cum for him and make him proud, but he was so good with his fingers that you didn’t know if you were going to be able to take much more after this.

"mhm, yours! m’ yours— your good girl! please, koushi, let m-me cum, please!" you beg, trying to grind your cunt down on his hand for more friction. he chuckles at your actions but doesn’t make any effort to help you out, wanting to watch you struggle as you dangle over the edge and sob for more.

after a couple of seconds of you squirming in his hold, he pecks your lips before saying the words you needed so badly to hear, "alright, y/n, be my good girl and cum on my fingers."

sugawara curls his fingers inside you with a sharp thrust, purposely hitting your g-spot harder than he had before to make your orgasm ten times better. you gasp in a breath before letting out a sequence of broken moans into his mouth as you arch your back and shake under him, coating his fingers in your release. you can feel him against your thigh, hard and throbbing, subconsciously rutting against you in an attempt to relieve himself of some tension as well.

he slows his movements to coax you through your release, your body trembling at the euphoric feeling running through your veins. your back arches into his touch slightly before going limp on the bed, taking deep breaths as he pulls his fingers away from you and sticks them in his mouth, sucking your release off his fingers and humming lowly at the taste.

sugawara removes his digits from his mouth and you feel your face heat up when you see the smirk on his face, and you know exactly what’s coming. he pushes your lips together again and swipes his tongue across your bottom lip, but pulls away before you can get a taste of him mixed with you.

"such a good girl for me," he praises, his words quiet as he glides his hands up your sides to completely calm you down from your intense high—or work you up again, you can’t tell whether you want more of his touch or if he’s too much for you.

you decided you needed more when you wrapped your legs around his waist in an attempt to press your pussy against his clothed cock. "suga..." you whine.

"hm?" he hums, face filled with faux confusion as he hovers over you. he knows exactly what you want, it’s obvious, but he can’t help himself when he sees an opportunity to tease you until you beg for him. you mumble a 'please' and he clicks his tongue, "you were doing so good using your words, being such a good girl—where’d she go?"

your heart almost breaks at his words, saying you were doing good, you were being his good girl, and now what; are you no longer his good girl? "no, i- suga, i am a good girl, i am your good girl! i swear, i just— please... please fuck me."

"see, now that wasn’t so hard, was it?" sugawara teases and lowers his head to kiss you once again. his lips move against yours slowly, a distinct difference from what’s to come. his hands leave their place on your sides and move your thighs off his body, squeezing them lightly as he moves to push his boxers down his legs.

his lips part from yours to lean down and rid himself completely of the barrier that separates his cock from your pussy. you take this time to look down as well, running your eyes up and down his cock. he’s long, hard, and thick with a pretty pink tip. you hadn’t noticed how big he really was until now, and all those times you’d fantasized about him inside you faded away as you began worrying if he’d even fit.

koushi sees the anxious look on your face and holds back a chuckle, wanting to bring his hands back to your thighs and wrap them around him again, but he needed to know you were still okay with this before he made another move. "hey, you good?"

"suga, i- i don’t think it’s going to fit..." you mumble, embarrassed by your words. your cheeks heat up at the smirk that emerges onto his face, he clicks his tongue and wraps his hand around his cock to pump it twice, a few drops of precum coming out.

"don’t worry, i’ll go slow," he says and you blink up at him, trusting his words and nodding your head. you whisper an ‘okay, suga’ and he brings his cock down to your folds, tapping the tip of it against your cunt to tease your clit, "you want it?"

you feel like you’ve answered this question a million times, but your heart still flutters a little at him continuously making sure you are comfortable with everything he’s doing. you smile, "yes, please, i want it so bad, please."

he slides the head of his cock down through your folds, teasing your clenching hole. your hips jerk up involuntarily, trying to get him inside you, and his cock twitches at your desperate movements. you were becoming impatient, lying there on the bed all spread out beneath him, dripping as you waited for him to fuck you.

and then you felt it, the tip being pushed inside you and you wince, hand flying down to set on his stomach as you hear him whisper 'it’s okay, you’re okay' and 'i’m sorry' over and over again, wishing he could do something about the pain your feel as he waits for you to adjust to the foreign feeling.

when your scrunched-up face relaxes slightly, he takes that as his okay to begin moving again, pushing in again until just over half of his cock was sitting inside you.

"just—" you cut yourself off and bring the hand that was on his stomach to his lower back, trying to pull him closer to you in an attempt to get it over with. it was going to hurt either way and both of you knew that, but you also knew how good it would feel once he was finally able to move.

sugawara forces the rest of his cock inside you, stretching your little cunt as he drags himself through your tight walls, loving the way you clenched around him as he almost bottomed out. somewhere in the time it took him to press into you, he had closed his eyes, and when he opens them, the sight of you caged underneath him by his strong arms, mouth dropped open in a silent moan, and eyes shut tightly, makes him let out a groan.

he waits a few moments before pulling out slowly only to shove himself back in, eliciting a loud gasp and moan from your throat. your fingernails dig into his back, leaving red marks as he repeats his actions, needing to hear the sound you made again. and just as he thought, you moan at the feeling, mumbling, "oh my— oh my god, koushi."

he’s in awe at the way your body squirms beneath him as he continues with slow thrusts, stuffing you so incredibly full. that’s when tears prick at your eyes and you begin babbling about how he’s 'too big, too much', but all it does is make him want to fuck you harder, faster—fuck you until you feel like you’re in a constant, never-ending orgasm.

but he holds himself back, praising you about how good you are and how 'you can do it, you can take it' as he stretches you out, walls fluttering around his aching cock as if you’re trying to convince him to lose control on you, but he knew he would cum too soon if he did.

with one particularly deep thrust, he reaches his hilt, tip pushing against your cervix and you think you can feel him in your throat. sugawara brings his hand up to wipe the tears off your cheeks, pressing a small kiss to your lips as he does so. when he pulls away from your mouth, you squeeze his back, grabbing his attention to say, "please, move, i need you to—"

you’re cut off by a moan as he brought his hips out and harshly slapped them back down. your legs trembled as he grinds his hips against yours before pulling all the way out again, continuing his slow, deep thrusts that make you fall apart below him.

"you’re such a good girl," he praises. your head spins, unable to comprehend both the feeling of him gradually quickening his movements and the words coming from his mouth. and it only gets worse—or better, you can’t tell with how foggy your brain is—when you hear the embarrassing squelching sound of his cock easily slipping inside you despite how tight you are. "god, fuck, you’re so wet for me," he mutters, your walls clenching around him at his words, squeezing him impossibly harder.

something flips in sugawara and his demeanor changes, the rough side of him that wants to hear you beg and whine because of how he’s making you feel, the side that just wants to tease you until you’re crying and telling him it’s too much.

"who would’ve thought... sweet, innocent little y/n who’s never done a bad thing in her life, likes to be treated like this, likes to be used by her best friend. i never guessed it, that’s for sure," he mocks, moving your legs up to get a better, deeper angle.

"yes, yes, k-koushi, love it so much. please, i need y-you to fuck me harder, please!" you beg, drunk on his cock. your legs tremble with every slap of his hips against yours, walls clenching again and again as his thrusts become faster.

he moves one hand up to your chest, dragging along your collarbones to show you what he wants to do, and you tilt your head back, exposing more of your neck for him. sugawara grins and wraps his hand around your throat, letting you get used to the feeling before he presses his fingers down on each side just hard enough for you to squirm at the lack of air but still be able to moan for him.

sugawara adjusts his grip on your thighs, pressing them further down onto your chest so he can fuck deeper into you. you cry out in pleasure, babbling on and on about how good he feels. your orgasm comes out of nowhere, hitting you like a train as you cum with a loud moan. he releases your neck so you can get a breath of oxygen and sugawara lets out a groan, "shit, you look so pretty cumming on my cock like that. g-god, you feel so good, so good for me. you’re so— fuck, so beautiful."

his hips falter at the feeling of you cumming around him, covering his cock in your release and he wants to slow down, help ease you through your high, but he just can’t help but chase the wonderful feeling and rut his cock into you just a little harder.

"fuck! suga, suga, i can’t— can’t, too much," you whine and dig your fingernails deeper into the muscles on his back from years of volleyball.

he listens and slows to a stop, not wanting to hurt you. he pulls out and looks you over, his cock twitching at the sight of your cum dripping out of your pussy. he takes a deep breath, "'m sorry, pretty girl, you okay?"

"was too much, need a break," you mumble as you close your eyes and try to calm yourself, but sugawara has other ideas.

"what? you couldn’t take it, can’t take me?" he asks with an evil grin as he taps the head of his cock against your puffy clit, watching as you gasp and jerk from the sting of how sensitive you are.

the way he can look into your eyes and know your head is spinning with pleasure no matter how much you tell him you can’t handle it, makes you whimper, and that sound stirs something in him that urges him to quickly slide back into your drooling cunt and continue his fast thrusts.

you moan at the sensation, so loud that sugawara has to clasp a hand over your mouth, having been to your house enough times to know how thin the walls are, and he doesn’t want to alert the neighbors about what you two are doing.

the slap of his hips against yours is obscene, so wet and lewd now that you’ve cum. he grunts as his cock aches, the tip angry and swollen with the need to cum, to make you cum. sugawara smirks, "it’s funny how you whine and complain about my cock being too much for you, yet here you are, clenching around me, begging me to make you cum again. such a dumb little girl. make up your mind, sweetheart."

you can’t help but moan at his words, tears falling from your eyes as you feel the knot in your stomach come back, tightening quicker than it had before.

sugawara watches your eyes roll back into your head and mouth drop open in a silent scream behind his hand. he takes this as his chance to bring both hands to your hips and use them to thrust harder, deeper, faster into you.

you gasp, feeling yourself begin to slide up the bed from how he was fucking you, and your hands move from his back to press against the headboard so you don’t slam into it. but your body tenses up before going completely limp as you feel him repeatedly hit your g-spot.

moans no longer flow from your lips, just airy breaths and whines, and sugawara smiles deviously, thinking there’s nothing prettier than you going dumb around his thick cock. until that is, he watches your back arch and tongue loll out of your mouth as you cum around his cock for a second time. he moans, your orgasm making the knot in his stomach begin to come undone, "there’s my good girl, look so good cumming for me—fuck, gonna make me cum, too."

sugawara thrusts into you one, two, three more times before pulling out and cumming all over your stomach and chest, pumping his cock to help him ride out his orgasm, only stopping when he feels himself becoming overstimulated.

he looks up at you, your chest rising and falling as you breathe heavily, coming down from your intense high. he leans down and presses a kiss to your lips before crawling off you, slipping his boxers on, and heading into your bathroom to get a warm washcloth to clean you up.

he slips a big t-shirt over your head and places a kiss on your forehead once he’s finished, listening to you whisper his name and ask him to lay with you, and he does, but not before he has you take a sip of water as he tells you how good you were for him.

"thank you," you mutter, smiling as you lay down and snuggle into his warm chest. sugawara doesn’t exactly know why you’re thanking him, he can’t think of a time someone has thanked him after he fucked them dumb, but he doesn’t care, because at that moment, he’s just happy you’re happy.