sealed thoughts

I finally landed the job — and it feels like I can actually exhale for the first time in a long while.

No more 12–14 hour shifts that drain the life out of me. No more 4-hour commutes that make the day feel twice as long. No more sprinting through mornings, skipping meals, or pretending a cold coffee counts as “breakfast.”

It’s strange how something as simple as having time — real time — feels like a luxury. Being able to start my day without rushing, actually sit down and eat, exist like a person instead of someone constantly racing the clock… it hits different.

I’m not pretending everything is suddenly perfect, but this feels like a shift I genuinely earned. A version of my life I’ve been hoping for quietly, and working toward even when it felt impossible.

tomorrow i clock back in after 9 days of pto and honestly… i feel like i’m walking straight into the lion’s den. the unread emails, the “let’s align” meetings, the dashboards and reports waiting for my eyes—none of it excites me. it just feels heavy.

there’s this unspoken rule in corporate life: you can step away, but the machine never stops. and when you come back, it demands you twice over. they call it “rest,” but in reality, pto is just recovery time so you can return and burn yourself out all over again.

i’m tired of being the fixer, the steady hand, the one who can’t drop the ball because too many depend on me. sometimes i wonder if this is leadership or just glorified damage control.

nine days wasn’t enough to refill whatever this job drains out of me. and yet tomorrow i’ll log back in, smile in the meetings, and play the role. because that’s what we do.

maybe i’ll find a new café with moody lighting. maybe i’ll stumble into the rain without an umbrella and laugh like it was scripted. maybe i’ll just sit somewhere, headphones in, pretending the world is mine for a little while.

balai inasal – boneless spareribs smoky and tender, the kind of flavor that lingers long after the plate is clean.

ice flakes – mango coconut like sunshine turned into snow, sweet and cool at the same time.

pares hilton – pares & sisig by the beach ate with our feet in the sand, fresh coconut juice in hand, waves keeping quiet rhythm.

al noorani – chicken kabsa with naan & hummus this tasted like a little piece of home (ruh) tucked inside the island.

seafood paluto locals worked their magic on half a kilo of shrimp and squid—sweet-chili shrimp and adobong squid—less than 1500 pesos for a sunset feast.

each bite a small souvenir, carried home in memory instead of a suitcase.

a small corner for stray thoughts—things that don’t fit anywhere else. maybe it’s a passing mood, maybe it becomes a habit. for now it’s just words, a place to leave them before they fade. temporary, or not. we’ll see.