This gut wrenching scene of The Ballad of Never After
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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This gut wrenching scene of The Ballad of Never After

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Adam/Gansey Parallel
Analyzing everything Gansey says and does has finally paid offÂ
In TRK, when Adamâs hands are taken over by the demon, he grabs Blueâs switchblade at one point- but Adam proceeds to smash his own arm against the picnic table, pinning it down. As a result, his other hand goes to claw at his own face.
âAs he successfully pinned it under his own weight, though, his other hand clawed up. Quick as a cat, it scratch-scratch-scratched at his own face. Blood beaded instantlyâ (TRK 393).
Itâs at THAT moment that Gansey speaks for the first time in this scene, a firm âNo.â Itâs at THAT moment that he goes at Adam with real effort and intent to stop him.Â
ââNo,â Gansey said. He could not bear it. He ran at AdamâŚsnatching that angry handâ (TRK 393).Â
Ganseyâs only previous grab at Adam was a loose lunge for his fingers, which Adam pulled free of easily. Here, Gansey firmly goes to stop him. Why? Because Adam was clawing at his own face, which is what Gansey used to do to himself during his PTSD panic attacks.Â
âWeâd just be toddling through some riding path in Leicestershire and next thing I knew heâd be on the ground clawing his face like a mental patientâ (BLLB 242).
 Gansey felt spurred into action, desperate enough to physically grab Adam, because he has felt that exact pain before, the act clawing at your own face and being unable to stop yourself. It hit home hard. Thatâs why his âNoâ is so resounding, italicized and important and impactful. Gansey doesnât want to see that reflected in Adam.
I just want them to know, I gave my all, Did my best, Brought someone some happiness, Left this world a little better Just because, I was here.
I Was Here