scarlet's mess

I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF i was trying to bake something to have a fun relaxing time only for my mom to fucking ruin it cuz she was stubborn and didn't trust me n guess what she ruined the cake!!! and she's laughing about it but i know damn well if it was me who did that she would've made me feel so horrible about it

i'm in a desparate need for a cigarette and i dont even smoke wtf man

can you stop hitting me with the realization that i am replaceable and never ever chosen whenever i have 1% hope that maybe things will be better this time just kill me already why am i even alive

managed to make the only person who tolerated me fucking exhausted n tired of my ass. wow. why the fuck am i even alive

no attention for 1 minute and im fucking seething I HATE MYSELF SO BAD

i am so fucking stupid and pathetic and i hate myself and my stupid hyperfixations and moodswings <33

talking with two men at the same time in my whore era (both dont like me and are leading me on and im happy with it)

i hate it when i hyperfixate on one person...get the fuck up bitch

i hate having a crush i hate it i hate everything i hate when he talks to me i hate when he doesnt talk to me i hate when he is being nice i hate when he is being mean i hate when he's being dry i hate when he's being cute i hate that i am so fundamentally flawed that no matter what happens it won't go well and i cant do anything about it except just sit like this and watch things be so nice knowing it wont last and ill also be there to watch it fall apart

i wish i didn't like the smell of cigarettes so much wtf why do i even like it??? it even makes me want to try it and smoke