💫 Ascend To The Stars 💫

Disclaimer: this is not set out to be an official ranking list, it is just my opinion. It is okay to disagree. See here for individual ranking lists: season 1, season 2, and season 3.

Top 10 worst episodes:

73. Excelsis Dei.

72. The Walk.

71. Space.

70. Roland.

69. Shadows.

68. Lazarus.

67. Fire.

66. Gender Bender.

65. Grotesque.

64. Hell Money.

63. The List.

4x11: El Mundo Gira.

Episode type: monster of the week.

Episode rating: 👽.5

My enjoyment: 👽

Overall score: 👽.25

MSR: 🐝

Favourite character: no one stood out ngl 😂

Favourite scene: the dead man in the porta potty with the tendril spores coming out of his mouth.

Favourite quote: “I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”

My thoughts:

It’s not the worst episode but it’s never been one I particularly enjoyed. We’re told from the beginning that Eladio is the El Chupacabra so there’s no mystery and the telenovela theming falls very flat. So many themes fall flat like the commentary on immigrants being the aliens and being invisible. Like Teliko, it’s just written by the wrong person so there’s no depth or real experience added to the story.

Running commentary:

* Why is she yelling? She’s right next to her.

* Looks more like piss than…whatever it’s meant to be.

* Moldy Maria.

* I love mulder pushing scully’s badge down.

* “Okay but I care.”

* “The FBI? Here?” Imagine his disappointment when he realises it’s the spookies.

* Re the dead body: “I don’t think he’s going anywhere.” 😂

* I do appreciate eladio pausing perfect time so we can hear the translation.

* I thought that was an open gate they were climbing over for a second 😂

* Of course we get ethnic flutes.

* The mold around the man and the spore tendrils coming out of his mouth was really cool.

* What did gabrielle have to do with this? She just shows up randomly.

* Love lorenzo’s expression.

* Mulder: nattering about space debris and the fungus. Scully: “let me handle the fungus.” 😂 she’s sick of him.

* Why is lorenzo so aggressive with gabriela?

* Love the idea that the girl on the front never wondered where her co worker went 😂

* What is going on.

* “I’m confused by this story.” Same skinner, same.

4x10: Paper Hearts

Episode type: monster of the week.

Episode rating: 👽👽👽👽

My enjoyment: 👽👽👽👽.75

Overall score: 👽👽👽👽.37

MSR: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

Favourite character: scully.

Favourite scene: second Roche interrogation scene with both mulder and scully.

Favourite quote: “I used to think missing was worse than dead because you never knew.”

My thoughts:

I really enjoy this episode despite it being very clear that Samantha was never kidnapped by an ordinary man but I like how serious the episode is and how it does try to it does try to add a more “realistic” reason to what could’ve happened to Samantha. We know from the clones in Herrenvolk that it isn’t true but it’s a good episode nonetheless.

Mulder should not have a job at the end of this and I hate how it’s Scully who is told off about it. She isn’t his babysitter or handler and yet Mulder gets not even a slap on the wrist? It’s a little clumsy.

Running commentary:

* The best episodes are the ones that aren’t really xfiles.

* 5am on a Sunday and scully’s there.

* Love how they expect us to remember who Reggie Purdue was 😂

* This is very not scully. I love her I want more.

* “Mulder, we’ll have to verify this. Are you up for that?” 🥹

* “Yes sir and he won’t get out.” Eat your words, Mulder.

* “I used to think missing was worse than dead because you never knew.” and then the camera just on mulder the whole time 😭

* I think that guy would be less thrilled if they told him serial killer was also a paedophile.

* This basketball scene is forever ruined by the cursed face swap photo.

* “Trust a child molester.” 😭

* “Not again.” 😭

* “My last dream came true.” What was his last dream??

* Ohh the one where they found Addie.

* I love that scully didn’t say anything about mulder punching Roche but he looks at her anyway. The betrayal. Scully would never.

* “I’m not talking to you if you’re gonna hit me again.”

* I love how angry Scully is looking here.

* “Help me, Scully.”

* “You okay?” 🥹

* “Where were you when this was happening?” At home probably?? She’s not his babysitter.

* “You let me down.” SkinNER she didn’t do out.

* “You’re in the wrong house, you stupid son of a bitch. You were never here, you liar.”

* It’s interesting dream Samantha is dressed in clone Samantha’s clothes.

* Let’s be honest Mulder should’ve been fired for this 🫠

* I have to be honest I never understood the Alice in wonderland connection/reference.

4x9: Terma.

Tagline: E pur si muove.

Episode type: mytharc.

Episode rating: 👽👽👽.5

My enjoyment: 👽👽👽👽

Overall score: 👽👽👽.75

MSR: 🐝🐝🐝

Favourite character: scully

Favourite scene: contempt of congress transition.

Favourite quote: “it is wonderful to persist and survive.”

My thoughts:

The tagline is Italian and I’m sure the peskoff guy says it to scully at the end? I could be wrong but if I’m not why is a Russian man speaking Italian to scully?

I like this episode more than the first half (but that’s just expected now) especially with mulder and scully having scenes together at the end. Mytharc episodes are better when they’re not split up.

Running commentary:

* I always forget this is how the episode opens- in this care home.

* Does this need to be done at night?

* I have no idea what that was about.

* I don’t think no matter how tired I was I could sleep on a bare ass floor. That’s probably a problem.

* “It is wonderful to persist and survive.”

* Ew.

* I don’t understand the relevance of this woman.

* How long was skinner following scully for? 😂

* I guess that’s the relevance of the woman.

* All those people and no one could stop mulder 😂

* How the fuck does mulder not die in that crash??

* I could not care less about this scene between csm and wmm.

* Miss scully 🙄

* Off she goes 😂

* Least she gets a bed.

* That’s actually a fancy ass cell.

* Where did she get the highlighter from?? 😂

* She’s grown so much.

* THE HUG!!!!

* Just in front of everyone.

* I forgot about the whole SWAT operation at the beginning of last ep.

* I like how nobody has commented on the hole in mulder’s head btw.

* Wish we got to see her actually climb the fence.

* Her mulder yell 😭

4x8: Tunguska. (1/2)

Episode type: mytharc.

Episode rating: 👽👽👽.25

My enjoyment: 👽👽👽.5

Overall score: 👽👽👽.37

MSR: 🐝🐝

Favourite character: scully.

Favourite scene: the opening congress hearing scene.

Favourite quote: “you are an agent of the fbi.” “Then please let me finish my statement.”

My thoughts:

I found myself liking this episode a bit more than usual but that’s probably because I was deprived last episode. I don’t really think this episode brings in anything we didnt know from piper Maru/apocrypha other than Russia’s involvement and its part one so it’s really hard for me to gain thoughts on it. This is one of those that I watched because I have to and not because I want to.

Running commentary:

* Finally back to regular XF 😅

* The “miss scully” pisses me off so much. Like if you’re not gonna call her agent then at least call her doctor?? Like dr is her official title.

* “You are an agent of the fbi.” “Then please let me finish my statement.” Scully does not have time for these people today 😂

* “Are you tending your resignation?” The look Scully gives after that is so funny 😂

* The dead silence and the cuts back a forth between Scully and the man just staring in silence at each other 😂 someone said this episode is a comedy.

* Someone didn’t think this through.

* I forgot they were part of this random SWAT operation thing.

* Two tonne truck.

* Who let scully play dress up.

* Love that you can hear Scully yelling 😂

* I always forget what krycek was doing the last time we saw him.

* Smacking his hat off 😂

* Bull crap 🙄 Let. Them. Swear.

* “You can’t bring these men to justice” I love how krycek says that.

* You destroy the destroyer’s ability to destroy. What a sentence.

* He just lobbed his diplomatic pouch?

* It’s a rock.

* “Gonna freeze to death.”

* Department of Exobiology. What is that.

* Do you think this rock is related to the ghost face rock from Space?

* Ugh csm I got enough of you from the last episode.

* Krycek dangling from the balcony by his handcuff makes me cringe so much.

* We do this every episode. She’ll follow him.

* Scully driving!!

* “There’s a man hanging from your balcony.” 😂 told you- comedy.

* “Stupid ass haircut.”

* They really threw the whole secret part of secret informant away when mulder is just showing up at his secret informant’s door.

* “I can help you, agent mulder.” “With my cell phone?”

* That whole exchange smells like a euphemism.

* Should have kept a krycek punch counter.

* Fucking shat myself when he moved.

* “If I’m not back in a week I’ll call agent scully to bring you a bowl of water.”

* “You called me a bad name.”

* “That’s usually what a letter of summons means, agent scully.”

* Does this prisoner mulder speaks to actually ever become relevant?

* Ew.

* Ew.

4x7: Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man.

Episode type: mytharc?? (I don’t actually know)

Episode rating: 👽

My enjoyment:👽

Overall score: 👽

(Jibbing off all the rest cause none of it is gonna apply here. Spoiler alert)

My thoughts:

I couldn’t give two shits about this episode. Give me mulder and scully.

Running commentary:

* I actually cba.

* Rat.

* Why does csm have a lighter that says trust no one on it??

* My one scene of mulder and scully and I don’t even get to see them. SMH.

* Csm-25. That’s a bit on the nose innit.

* Csm is an alien. That’s not how a human smiles.

* Great. Exposition 🙄

* Spender before he was spender.

* “I’d rather read the worst novel ever written than sit through the best movie ever made.” Tf does that even mean??

* What reason does mulder’s first word have being JFK?

* Also not a word.

* I’m so fucking bored.

* This guy is so intense jeez.

* That guys tie is so skinny.

* All those police officers needed to carry out one man.

* Why are we now in black and white??

* Bloodworth.

* Not Jeffrey csm’s mannerisms reminds me more of skinner’s than csm’s.

* Directly across from Lorraine hotel. Thanks.

* Harsh rejection letter.

* 1991.

* I still don’t understand why that last part was in b&w but the jfk part was in colour??

* Soooky kid. Mulder mentioned!!

* I don’t need to watch csm trying to make friends.

* Jack Colquitt sat alone in his apartment at Christmas. He believed in sacrifice. Yet some nights, he longed for a second chance… What a boring ass opening.

* Csm is looking at that like he’s just written the best thing ever.

* Alien.

* “Any country capturing such an entity is responsible for its immediate extermination”- doesn’t deep throat say this to mulder in s1??

* That’s just a guy.

* Always go tails.

* Me sleeping like:

* The alien sleeping kinda voids the whole “maybe it didn’t know what a gun was” like in s1.

* Scully I’ve missed you.

* It’s like watching the pilot all over again.

* Hope they unbugged the office later on cause they be hearing things they might not want to hear 😏

* 6 minutes left I can do this.

* Csm putting in his resignation cause he’s gonna be a big time author 🤣

* He really just hangs around in skinner’s office cause he’s unemployed.

* Me checking my email for ao3 comments.

* Longest 6 minutes of my life.