Wibard

You cheater!! I hurl my potion of harm II at you! And oh no! It’s in your eyes! I run after my horse and climb back up!

Oh no! I grab my super ultra laser beam and point it at you! It’s rated at 10mW and burns your eyes!

I quickly turn off the laser. I am no monster after all! I take my Lego Saturn V and hurl it at you, shattering over your head!

welcome to my blog, where 99% of the time you will probably not be getting the content you signed up for.

You cheater!! I hurl my potion of harm II at you! And oh no! It’s in your eyes! I run after my horse and climb back up!

okay wow it seems we have violence occuring outside of the joust itself. Flails are being swung. Explosion magic is being casted. things are getting HEATED

holy shit wait this reminded me I have a wizard blog lol

favourite rpg trope is the merchants in incredibly hostile environments. we are at the evil curse mountain and youre just selling me items normal style

their union won’t let me fuck with them <|:^(

@thanook i ask politely for you to reblog this from me

ok then

pls estrogenize me

I'll unalive you

Unaliver it's okay to say kill

No it's not on account of the spell the nefarious wizarder put on me

heh heh heh….

So it is you, wizarder. After all these years. My greatest nemesiser. Why did you do this to me wizarder

unaliver, i simply made you who you are. who you always should have been. i, the wizarder, will wizard and you, the unaliver, will unalive. you could never be anything else

But the two of us could have been something other than the sum of our parts, wizarder. And yet you choose to curse me, wizarder. Because you are scared of commitmenter

maybe we could be something new…if there’a still a chance… i know i’ve done wrong but… i’d unalive to try again… with you, unaliver

My lover......! ah, but no, i simply cannot trust one who would place a curse on me! I long to be in your arms but I simply cannot while I bear the mark of how we parter.

i reverse my nefarious curse, even a nefarious wizard can change his robes…come unaliver, together we can be unalovers…

@fan-fucking-tasty @ckswitch

i hit the like button as i was reading

oh i misread we're good bro

i wanna press shiny button :)

@shittysawtraps

I just poisoned myself.

Same, glad to know I'm not the only one.

that looks like a condom and the fact that everyone in the notes is saying “the orb” proves that no one on this website fucks

the fuck kinda bouncy-ball ass condoms are you using

the fact that someone thinks that looks like a condom is proof that no one on this website fucks

5 reblog additions later and this post is still best summarized by "no one on this website fucks"