Depressive mercs and what situation they'd cry
Whole Team; Depression & What Makes Them Cry
Author's Note: thanks for this request. it really makes them feel human to think of them in this sort of way...
Warnings: None | Pronouns: He/Him (For mercs) , They/Them (For Pyro)
When he's down: He tries to convince everyone he's fine. He talks more than usual to fill the silence, and throws himself into training until he's exhausted. He'll make more jokes around people, even if they don't land because he secretely worries that people will leave him if he isn't entertaining.
What makes him cry: Feeling genuinely unwanted. Or being told he's a disappointment by someone he deeply respects. But he also cries if he loses someone he loves, or vulnerable moments when he finally admits he isn't enough, despite trying so hard.
How often he cries: More often than he'd like. He'll fight tears in front of others, but alone they're much harder to stop.
When he's down: He doesn't always recognise sadness for what it is, so he channels it into missions or training. Soldier cleans equipments obsessively, and exercises until he physically can't anymore. But he also gets louder because silence leaves room for difficult thoughts.
What makes him cry: The death of someone he considers family, but also feeling like he failed to protect someone, and seeing genuine acts of self-sacrifice.
How often he cries: Rarely, but when it happens it's overwhelming because he's held it in for so long. He may not even realise he's crying until it's happening.
When they're down: They become noticably quieter and retreat into familiar comforts more often. They draw and make crafts almost obsessively. Pyro also stays close to people they trust without necessarily interacting.
What makes them cry: Seeing innocent people or animals suffer. Losing something precious, or genuinely losing someone they care deeply about. But also, feeling rejected by someone they care about.
How often they cry: Fairly easily and often. Pyro feels emotions intensely, even if they express them differently.
When he's down: He withdraws behind humour, and drinks more than he should. He gets incredibly nostalgic about certain moments in his life. Demo often stares into space while everyone else is talking, and starts thinking about mistakes he's made.
What makes him cry: Thinking about his parents, and thinking about people he's lost. But also, feeling that addiction is controlling him again, and someone forgiving him when he doesn't think he deserves it.
How often he cries: Not frequently, but alcohol lowers the walls considerably so it happens easily sometimes.
When he's down: He becomes very quiet. He reads a lot, and keeps busy with practical tasks and helping people. He also writes more letters home, and thinks before speaking.
What makes him cry: His family. Knowing he's far from home, and the idea of failing to keep them safe. But also, remembering hardships from childhood, and watching someone he loves suffer while being unable to help.
How often he cries: Very rarely, and usually in complete privacy.
When he's down: He hides in the workshop and fixes machines because they're easier than feelings. He makes coffee and tends to forget about it until it's cold, and tends to sleep very little.
What makes him cry: Losing a close friend. Watching years of hard work diappear, and feeling helpless despite trying everything.
How often he cries: It's uncommon. It's usually a few quiet tears rather than sobbing.
When he's down: He buries himself in his work. He becomes even more restless and sleep irregularly, sometimes falling asleep at his desk. He especially avoids talking about what's bothering him.
What makes him cry: Failing to save someone despite doing everything correctly. Being genuinely abandoned by someone he trusted, and rare moments where his confidence completely collapses.
How often he cries: Extremely rarely. He hates feeling emotionally vulnerable.
When he's down: He disappears. Into his van, into the bush alone, or drives somewhere even. He spends hours sitting quietly, and doesn't answer many questions. He processes emotions internally.
What makes him cry: Losing someone he deeply loves. Having to put someone out of their misery. But also, long periods of crushing lonliness finally catching up to him, and being reminded of his parents or home after a particularly difficult time.
How often he cries: Very rarely. It's usually just tears rather than full sobbing. He hates anyone seeing him cry so he goes away from people when it happens.
When he's down: He becomes emotionally distant. He smokes more, sleeps poorly, and keeps everyone at arm's length. He also tries to maintain perfect composure.
What makes him cry: Regret, mostly. Thinking about opportunities he wasted. Someone showing him unconditional love after he's convinved himself he doesn't deserve it. And watching someone he loves leave without being able to stop them.
How often he cries: Almost never. If he cries, he's completely alone behind locked doors.
Pyro. They wear their heart on their sleeve. Happy tears, sad tears, overwhelmed tears... They don't supress emotions nearly as much as others.
Scout. He's emotional by nature. He tries not to cry, but strong feelings often win eventually.
Demoman. Normally he keeps himself together, but grief and alcohol can strip away his defences.
Soldier. Doesn't cry often, but his emotions are huge when they fianlly break through.
Engineer. Quietly emotional. He rarely has dramatic breakdowns, but deep losses can bring him to tears in private.
Heavy. Exceptionally stoic, but not emotionless. When he cries, it's because something has touched the deepest parts of his love for family or comrades.
Sniper. Internalizes almost everything. He may sit in silence for hours before allowing himself a few tears.
Medic. Habitually intellectualizes everything. Crying is something he avoids almost instinctively, even when he's devastated.
Spy. The hardest to see cry. Years of emotional control mean he considers tears a deeply private matter. If someone ever witnesses him crying, it's because his usual composure has completely broken, likely after a profound personal loss or overwhelming regret.
