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honestly

somebody kill me before i do so myself lmfao

#i dont wanna live with her #i dont wanna move down there #theres nothing for me #im gonna have to uproot my entire life bc she decided to move down there #how the fuck is that fair #and i'll have to share a room And a bed with her #for almost an entire fucking yr #this is the worst case scenario #what the fuck did i do to deserve this???????????????

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hmm

#too hot for second blanket #but also very cold with entire body chills!#prob mot good #i need to see a fucking therapist

is it worth going on

hmm

#nope!#im so fucking alone #and ik its my fault bc i go to a diff college and also im doing all online #but i.... dont want to commute its way too much #and The School is really expensive even if i do get in......#and life is sofucking hnfair #im a good kid #i fuckinf deserve this #why wont they let me do fucjing anytging #im not gonna get fucking pregnant #i do wanna do shit but im gonan be safe abf it #and the wknd of im literally just gonna kms i stg #seeing them have so much fun #i wanna isolate myself and just not tal kto anyone #but also thats happening rn #not of my own accord #and i see them hvjng so much fn and medtinf new ppl #while im herei n the fuciinf hometown alone #while everyoen else is livjng their collegw lives #im just tryna speex by #bug i feel ldft bshind #and ghey dont wbe knkw #ut its not their failu #if they know theyre gonna deel bad but its nkt yherei fault #but i want comfort #i just want someone to uug me and tell me they love and appreciate me and that its gonnabe ok #i just nedd comfort and love and reassurance #is that too much to ask for ?

been over a year haha nice!

anyways life is fucking bad again

#i want to drop #everyone #but also if i dont have any friends when im older ik im actually gonna kms #sooooooo #do i reveal to them how they make me feel?#nope! i def dont do that! bc this group is shit with emotions!#i want to die

im so fucking pissed off rn and i dont know what to do or how to calm down other than cry

#nothings going fucking right #literally everything is pissing me off #even stuff that doesnt make snese to be pissed off at is pissing me off #i dknt know hwts to do

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im not satisfied with anything in my life and i need to meet new ppl

#im suffocating #im so irritated all the time #and i dont wanna talk to anyone #and i dont wanna talk abt it bc they are the ones irritating me #i wanna just leave #and be alone

i am so uncomfortable with my body and everything in life rn and i just wanna not deal with it

im like rocking back and forth to comfort myself and clenching my toes/rubbing my hands to ground myself and like, this is how it is i guess,. i dont r want physical comfort like a hug bc ik ill end up crying and feeling pathetic and i deal woth sympathy so bad i always see it as pity which i hate and its so bad and fuck im not ok fuckfckfu cufkc

haha "happy" fucking new year!!

im honestly scared of her lol

#shes comingo vwr #and im like #cold #abd i keep crying #and im like clenching my toes ?????#i cant explain why but its helojng #fuck #im gonna die lol #didnt wanna go out this way #rip

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i cant!!!!!

#im so fuckkng close!!!!#to freedom #like #its still like over a yr and a haf #but im gonna fucking die lol #im not onna make it #i cany anymore #im ited of living like this #fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#why cant i just have a fucking good family #im so fucking jealous #i want o die #what the fuck #whatt ge fuckc

i just wanna be done

my want to die has been so high lately im so tired of everything i have nothing left

why is nothing going the way i want it to lmfao

i was havjng an almost ok day

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hahah hHAHAH HAH

#im so fucking frustrated #and irritated

im so fucking stressed out

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