serendipitous.

“Doesn’t sound all that convincing when you start off with I swear I didn’t break it. You know I’m a PE teacher, right? Not a qualified electrician.”

“I promise you, it just shut off out of nowhere... Yes, I know you’re not, but -- I figured if you could help, I’d pay you with a home-cooked meal or two? Actual qualified electricians will probably not take that form of payment.”

Liz: Well there you go. Maybe you should just rock up in a white fucking dress and cause a scene. Are you saying that me having sex is weird? Cause having sex is fun. Having sex in interesting places is even more fun. Think you need to learn to embrace your wild side a little more. Have you started experimenting with toys yet?

Jacq: Hmmm, honestly, seems kind of sad if you won't even tell your momma you love her. Are you calling the English language meaningless? Is that what you're saying?

Jacq: Trust me Matthias, that's all your getting. I'll dig around in the sand for you all you. Oh, well funnily enough I don't actually like women in that way so you won't have to worry about that at all. And that's a promise that I can make.

Matt: I tell her, just not at the end of every phone call. I'm pretty much implying that it is, yes. I mean, you're missing out on so many good words other languages do have. You don't even know about gezellig, come on, that's just sad.

Liz: Considering it's a wedding and not a funeral, I think people are going to wonder what the fuck is happening if you're miserable. Probably think you've got it out for the bride or some shit. Oh Tessa, I've had sex in a lot of places.... I'll just leave that mystery there for your mind to wander. The devil likes me to sin.

Jacq: I was more referring to the fact that I barely even know you but sure, let's go with that. I may not understand what you were saying to her but hopefully you didn't hang up on her without telling her you love her. That's rude.

Jacq: Unless I give you my consent? Holy shit, Matthias. Think you might need a cold shower if you're fantasizing about that already cause I'm telling you, if you're expecting something from me? It's going to be a long dry year for you.

Jacq: And no banging other women on our couch. Or in our room.

Matt: Maybe rude to you guys, at home people don't really say 'I love you' too much, it's not used as openly as it's used in the English language. We say it very little, but that does mean that when we do say it, it means a whole lot more than the ones you might share.

Liz: I mean, as a chick I can't say I've ever tried Grindr but heyyyy, only one was to find out, right? What's wrong with doing it in a church? It's only god looking down at you. Besides, doesn't it feel gooood to sin? ;)

Jacq: I haven't got trust issues, ole wise one. Although, I think the fact that I'm staying in a foreign country with a foreign man would be enough to make any woman skeptical.

Jacq: Ok, you don't snore but you roll around in your sleep and with your long, octopus like limbs you hit things. And don't go all blaming the heat for that. Wait, are you making an apology on behalf of the entire male species? Because I'm not so sure you can do that. Or that you're qualified to.

Matt: A foreign man. I've been called much, but never that. Or are you referring to my suspicious phone calls to my mother in Dutch? Cause I'm afraid her English is pretty bad.

Liz: Then try Grindr? You could get some cute gay best friend to tag along with you? What's so wrong with not waiting a bit, huh? You could steam the fuck things up a lil bit. Get laid with your hot wedding date in some little booth at the back of the church? ;)

Jacq: Since when were you suddenly an expert in all of this, huh? You don't know anything about my life.

Jacq: Well maybe if you didn't snore so loud I wouldn't be up all night... Besides, it's kind of hard to sleep at night when there's a strange man in your room.

Matt: Hey, I'm not pretending I know. I'm just saying, most trust issues don't form out of nowhere. Though your respons makes me feel there's some things I clearly do not know.

Liz: Ummm, have you tried Tinder? I can't say Mr whoever won't be tryna get laid straight after it though.

Jacq: I'm not hurt. I'm just... skeptical.

Jacq: For all I know getting rid of me might just be your way of getting off the couch. Your limbs barely fit on that thing and that's when you aren't all spread out over it.

Matt: Yeah, exactly, which usually doesn't just happen when people haven't been hurt or disappointed in their life.

Liz: Bleggghhhhh. Can I get a hell no?

Jacq: Is this like some kind of murder mission?

Jacq: Are you trying to get me alone in a secluded place so that you can kill me?

Jacq: Or have someone kill me on the way?

Matt: Who hurt you?

Matt: I mean, come on, it's like you've accused me of murdering you or having you killed at least twenty times since we've met.

Matt: I found a nice Egyptian bakery in town, pretty secluded, but definitely worth it.