human disaster

rest in peace, Anthony ❤️

Imagine you snort a line of coke unprompted and get totally wired. For no reason at all you decide to go in the woods. Then you get a boner (obviously) and decide the best course of action is masturbating between the trees. Very quickly you sow your jizz into the ground. Then you come out of it. And realize what you've done. And you feel a teensy bit embarrassed by it. So you go home and furiously start looking for pen and paper. And you write:"You might think you've seen me go into the woods and do a massive wanking off sesh, but actually, it wasn't me. It was my evil twin, who's called Cock Cain. But fret not, he died bc his face melted like that scene in Indiana Jones when the Nazis open the Ark". That's exactly what Kier Eagan did.

the among us show being a total gorefest on par with john carpenter's the thing is a really fun choice

the among us show having a gay orgy in the middle of it is another really fun choice

Been turning cereal boxes and cracker boxes and random boxes into postcards and sending them across the country to my friend with silly little notes I could’ve texted. Joy can be so affordable. Less than a dollar in this case.

Just realized that the reason I love making friends on tumblr is because it’s exactly how you make friends on the playground as a six year old. No, I don’t know their name but they love mermaids too and built this awesome sand castle. No, I don’t know their age but their imaginary cheetah is friends with mine. You like this show? You like this character?? You can sing the theme song really loud??? Here is a flower crown. Here is a juice box. You can share my time and I might never see you again but part of you stays in my soul forever. In my mind we’re still on the swing set and the sky is blue and nothing will ever be wrong again.

would anyone's imaginary cheetah be friends with mine...

my imaginary cheetah would be friends with yours

watching this with sound gives you access to excellent duck noises.

are you “adaptable” or are you just willing to subject yourself to existing in low key background-level ambient misery

these are different things btw. actual adaptability means not dealing with being miserable long term. and being constantly mildly annoyed/frustrated with a situation but being “able to deal with it” counts as ambient misery. btw.

let this be your sign to make your life just a little more livable. get a dollar store trash can for your bedside so Cup City’s invasion plans fall through. block a tag or post that makes you grind your teeth every time you see it. get some grip pads so your bed stops sliding across the hardwood a little bit every time you get in it. tell that person you need a little more support. if you get annoyed at a situation more than a couple times, change it. don’t be content with being miserable.

and the more that you start doing this, the better you will get at detecting your own feelings and advocating for yourself! This is an important start to being more of a person in the world if you struggle with that