scotty doesn't know

Not that monogamous relationships aren’t the shit (I finally see why you fuckin’ nerds do it), but I’m itching to get back into something that’s not being the big spoon. Who’s throwing the next big rager? Am I allowed to bring party favors to Melody’s pool party? How’s the infamous @ Pack doing? I need to know, people! 

Dude, it’s practically back to school time! I know you graduated, but you better still be there for our first party of the semester, it’s going to be lit and seeing that you can still be awesome even after you’re old is a great selling point for the freshmen.

There’s something really exciting about cleaning out a wardrobe for the first time in awhile in order to donate to a charity that isn’t Sage Gothel. Like getting rid of old dresses that fully made me look way shorter and not nearly as cute as I thought I did a couple of years ago? Legit the best feeling ever. It’s a wonder why people don’t completely refresh their lives more often.

Do you have anything that my dog might be able to use as a Halloween costume?

Robbie: You never know! "Random opportunities" come up, and so do surprises and so do a lot of things! The world likes intervening in secret ways. Or I could always just get on the first plane leaving and see where it takes me. That's always fun.

Robbie: Beats me! A house dad sounds incredibly useful, I've always wanted a dad. You should so be the dad!

Scotty: Dude, Edgar's totally going to graduate and end up a billionaire. Get in good with him before he's gone so that you can charter his private jet whenever you feel like it someday.

Robbie: That sounds so weird and cool! I'll give it a whirl if the world hasn't sent me somewhere else come winter.

Robbie: Frat House Father is the coolest title ever, you have to. It's the best tradition, they better keep it alive for the next thousand years.

Scotty: Where would the world send you? Like... unless you take a plane home and it lands in another dimension like on LOST, I'm sure you have control over that.

Winter: I'd rather DIE than use a shower owned by a bunch of frat guys. No offense to you, of course. Yeah, I guess. He might just not be that affectionate a dog, which I don't mind at all.

What an epic song!

Winter: I'm already sure that I'd much prefer it if you sleep over with me more. Less man stink to deal with 😄 Of course your dog is how you knew that 😝 well i'm sure glad he approves of me then! Even though me and Bogart aren't nearly as tight as you and Spotty, I think he likes both of you enough for you to be keepers too.

That would never happen! 

Winter: Gross! Luckily for you, you never have to worry about that! I love Spotty almost as much as I love you. Good, I like saying it. I love you, je t'aime, I ♡ you!

Never in a million years. 

Winter: Okay ew. Why'd you have to take it there? Alright, good, I feel the exact same way :)

Robbie: Dude. Yes. Apples make the best juice and the boxes just add to the flavor. I like apple cider better though. Bubbles are life.

Robbie: For sure! Sounds like it's on like the break of dawn!

Scotty: There's this Winter Wonderland festival that always has a cider haus back in London. Strawberry lime, my dude. You should try it.

That show’s for nerds, no thanks. 

Winter: And it's absolutely hideous. It probably would've dipped into all of your drinks or something. Uh yeah! I did! You're absolutely brilliant, Scott. 💕💕 I love you so so much. You know that, right? 💕

Winter: Absolutely! I wouldn't have settled for anything but you anyway 💕 His beard is also much longer than I'd ever tolerate yours to be. I think so? I haven't really read too many of them since they tend to be unfunny after the third one but I believe I know what you mean.

Winter: Just checking! But thank you 💖💖💖 You're the best boyfriend ever. I wouldn't specifically name drop Seth Rogen, but yes exactly. You're so much better than juvenile humor. I've never used either, but whichever makes you happiest, Scott.