So yea, I’ve been MIA for awhile...
My blog turned 2 years old a few days ago, and I felt like I should post something about it. I've just not being posting much of anything on all my social networks, I just like comments, share things w/o words, things like that. I feel like I should explain why, and there’s an explanation for it, but......
You know that feeling when a friend gets really angry at you, and you have no clue what you’ve done to hurt them, and they won’t tell you, they just expect you to know and apologize? And when you try to explain to them you had no idea, they get even more mad at you and you just can’t seem to work things out, no matter what you try to do?
Yea, that’s a form of what I've been going through
Longtime followers of this blog will remember how I've posted many a text post about my personal life and the....hardships I've dealt with concerning certain family members.
Well, moving home after over a year at college seems to exasperated some of the problems that existed in the past. Arguments pretty much daily, emotions going haywire, things just unraveling without much to stop ‘em. My sleep schedule is the worst thing that’s happened after moving home
Nearly every night now, I’m up until at LEAST 4 am. Hell, 4 am is EARLY for me now. An average night ends with me not getting to my bedroom free of people at 5 am and not going to sleep until at least 7 am. I don’t get up until at least 2 pm most days, and today, I didn't wake up until 5:30 pm....which I know isn't normal. This is mostly because I’m trying to fix my sleep schedule, and stay up late, get up earlier, be tired the next night, and go to bed early, resetting things.
Well, that doesn't happen. I’m left to sleep until I get myself up, which (considering I can sleep through alarms across the room like they didn't happen) only happens after a full night’s sleep.
So yea, because of sleep (likely), I haven’t felt right the past week or two, I can tell home has had a very negative effect on me. I’m more easily upset, I've become more anti-social, and I don’t feel like doing much of anything. I know what this can be a sign of, but I don’t want to think that. They’re likely sourced from my environment, and if my environment changes (which I've been trying to do, but nothing seems to work)
Sad part is, all these negative emotions are popping up the week before I FINALLY start working at that golf course I mentioned in my last text post. With the heavy winter weather Maryland got this year, the course is opening a week alter than originally planned.
So, this gigantic text post is meant to say....
TL:DR I’m sorry for disappearing. I needed to let some stuff off my chest, because I don’t really have anywhere to let it out. I usually need to verbally tell someone, I’m terrible at writing my feelings, but I just had to. I know most of my good friends are sick and tired of hearing about my problems, they've said it. So, I’ll just resort to this, I guess.