scottish beyonce

have ya ever been in the back of an uber and let wee farts slip out? pure nerve-wrackin that is. high risk, high reward though.,

gonna dress up as international pop sensation shawn mendes a costume so good ya gonna think im him

nat is the most sus of all, periodt

if ya want an idea of how average i am. at the grammys a lass came to ‘relieve me of duties’ cos she thought i was one of those people who fill the seat while ya go to the loo. i had been nominated.

@prettyasfuck @brightsol BLOCKED @la-la-lisa all i need for that is a pair of heart shaped sunglasses. perfect. @categg dunno about that, the only clothes he wears is a hat and a pair of boots and nobody needs to see that.

mira, the lass who peels her grapes, is the same girl who the other day told me she picked the seeds out of strawberries before she ate them

2020 is the year of the mullet

i hate that of all the photos of me that could have come up for that, it had to be the one where i look like someones gran tryin ta use technology for the first time