Li

To M, With Love Ch. 2: Love is Life

A fluffier update that follows Rick and the children as they kick off their special day for Momma Michonne.

This story takes place within the time jump, but the bridge got constructed, and Rick never vanished. Hope you enjoy!

Previous chapter: Morning Star

I will be working on a Black sapphic romance novel, most likely on the romcom side (with some sprinklings of serious subject matter). If you are interested or are a writer of those things, please join me if you’d like. I’d love to develop a trusted writers circle so I can better my writing skills. I don’t have a scholarly background and I am working on the practice makes progress thing 😅 (that may or may not be a nod to an old fic of mine hehe).

the relationship didn’t last, and i am struggling real bad with the fact that i feel like i still had so much to give (and receive, which i know deep down i deserve!) and a lot to learn about that one person in particular, but it didn’t matter. they didn’t feel the same, and that’s ok. initially i struggled to understand how someone can really love me if they’re so quick to leave, but i realized that i really do put myself out there. i don’t share much with people i don’t trust, so when it comes to the close relationships i have or am working on building, i do everything i can to be as open and trusting as possible. i am loveable because i try and do put my full self out there to be loved. the leaving part had nothing to do with them loving me or not, but it’s still hard to accept.

i show up and maybe that’s a bit scary sometimes, and i’ve even accepted that even the right person might get scared, but maybe that’s not true... maybe the right person will see me for me, see my heart, my personality, my beauty, my fears, and not be scared or intimidated… maybe they’ll be ready and excited to love me. i think i deserve to experience that. i think i deserve someone that wants to grow and change with me, and sees how i can love them present, past and future. maybe that’s ok to desire. not asking for perfection, just want somebody that sees all of me, i see all of them (and i’m gonna see, that’s just how i am!!!), and we love and accept each other as is, and be brave in our acceptance. so much of me is the same but i am also constantly changing, and i want to experience change with somebody. that can be scary and not always the best, but i still believe there can be a beautiful bond in that.

anyways, yesterday would have made 3 months and i didn’t even realize until late last night. i’m scared and sad to slowly drift apart from her, with the necessary space between us. i’m anxious af. as the dumpee, it almost felt insulting to here that i deserved better and someone that was a better fit. i hope with time, i can understand that and believe it again. i’m nowhere near ready to wish the same for her in all honesty. i think that’s ok and doesn’t make me evil. and i’m learning that it’s ok to be mad and upset despite my acceptance of her decision to end things. she said i was easy to love, and although i did everything i could to make myself easy to love when i felt i might be a bit difficult to love, i wanna believe this to be true. in fact, i am surrounded by love everyday. i know it’s not romantic love but at least i’ve got the people closest to me to count on. i have so much gratitude for them and i thank them constantly. we lean on and hold each other up.