Yes—I Have My Degree.

For the first time in my life, I experienced what it’s like to have your safety as a Black woman be overlooked. It was so strange. I never once felt unheard, silenced, or taken unseriously in a moment where I felt legitimate fear. What’s so sad about the situation is I confided in a person whom I thought would ease my spirit after being so shaken up, yet I was met with amusement for the whole ordeal, as if the situation was never serious and I was overreacting.

To be a natural, you have to get comfortable with your hair not always looking the way you want it to. A lot of people don’t feel comfortable wearing their natural hair out, and the truth is, it’s because they don’t try to. Natural hair was never childish; you’re childish for not knowing how to rock the hair that grows from your own scalp. But it’s a process—you have to get used to wearing and taking care of it. Hell, there are days when I don’t like the texture of my hair and how it stretches long and out, and not long and down, but that’s the beauty of it. My hair isn’t like everyone else’s, and that is something that deserves to be shown off.

I’m actually not an avoidant. I’m just really awkward when it comes to courtship and don’t feel like putting myself through an emotional rollercoaster where I start to get triggered from everything you do, internalize how I look and sound around you, and limit my personality because I’m afraid you’ll judge me.