Chasing Neon Lights

Watch me move!      Cut me loose!           Let me do what I do~!

                                              I’m a living legend!

ᔕᑕOᖇᑕᕼIᑎG-ᑭᗩᔕᔕIOᑎ:

Independent selective Roche - FFVII-R - Roleplay blog, written by Saphie. Mun is over 30 years old. Please read rules page before interacting. Heavily canon divergent/HC based. Themes of a mature nature will be present here. Under 18′s need not follow nor interact.

So I've decided I really want to come back to this place, but there was always a kind of uncertainty and anxiety in doing so when I last decided I needed a break from tumblr.

And... honestly, and it's no ones fault other than mine, it was because I have way too many threads that I just wasn't interested in anymore for one reason or another.

Not only threads, but people too; you grow apart, drama starts to ferment (there wasn't any drama as such but I could see things happening within the pages of the site and I didn't like it) and I just don't want it lol.

So I've already gone through and softblocked a bunch of blogs, because, you know, this is my space to curate. This is MY space to control what I want to see and what I dont, so I took care of it. If you were caught in it, I'm sorry, there's no hard feelings from me, but I need to move on, and you should too. You don't know me, I'm just a person on the internet, it really isn't personal.

But this is me trying my damnedest to clean everything up and get back to it, yis! But know that I WILL be ruthless with how I follow and interact going forward. No more being scared to say no to people, no more getting myself into situations and stories I don't like. No more of that.

The monster carcass was long gone behind them by the time Sephiroth came to a stop, and the moon was far high above them. In the deep hours of the night, the sounds of battle had become sparse and distant, far away echoes of gunfire that sporadically marked the passing of time like the ominous tolls of a church's bells.

Exhausted on both sides, both factions had begun to withdraw to rest and recuperate, and the team leader had chosen to do the same. He knew their escorted member could not possibly match the same standards of endurance as a SOLDIER, most especially not at such a young age.

Gathering the team atop a cleared cliff's edge hugging the side of the mountain, Sephiroth shortly ordered to set up camp. Both he and one of his subordinates stepped away to secure the perimeter, while Lucky turned to give a strained smile at the grunt and heaved a sigh.

His hands reached up to the base of the helmet and unclasped the chin strap. Blonde messy bangs fell around a youthful face that did not belong on a battlefield.

A sense of relief to finally come to rest, even if there was no telling just how long that rest would be, or if he'd actually rest at all. Though his body ached and cried out to relent, Roche's mind raced still - thoughts of his unit still laying to waste in the gully, coupled with the glittering sheen of steel which had almost rendered him the same fate.

The wonderment had long since worn off, dissolved into a baffling and thick sensation nestled deep in the chest which Roche could truly make no real sense of, and when the cohort offered his help to relieve him of the heavy load, the teen offered little more than an absent nod of his head. At least initially despite the remainder of Lucky's quizzing going mostly ignored.

Difficult to tell in that moment if he was simply cracking a joke, or being sarcastic. Roche was quite certain, however, that it was simply the former.

Would it be that he were granted the time to come to terms with the day, with his emotions he didn't quite understand, and the dynamics of this new team he had found himself a member. Alas, time was not a virtue here in the heart of war.

Do or die.

The young infantryman took the opportunity to park himself upon a nearby rock, elbows resting against his knees, if only for a sliver of respite from the weight, both physical and emotional. A moment was all he needed, while the SOLDIER busied himself with the tasks needed to prepare a campsite until his bright gaze would flicker the cohort's way.

The words were there to speak, but sitting there, doing nothing... it didn't feel... proper. Getting to his feet - lead weights on the ends of his legs - the young rookie closed that distance, removed the glove to his right hand and extended it to the SOLDIER, his saviour, the only one of the three of them who had truly given him the time of day, at least in his eyes.

The Second wasn't even finished with his theatrical, dispassionate shpiel when Sephiroth looked away. Resting his head against the gloved tips of his digits, he closed his eyes to conceal their irritated roll and slowly inhaled a disgruntled sigh. His face bore traces of exhaustion, physical and psychological, and hiding it was becoming increasingly difficult.

And Sephiroth was that better man, a better man than whoever this was sitting in front of him right then. Roche knew a blatant brush-off when he witnessed one, oh, countless times had he been on the receiving end from many a man or peer.

But not the general, not Sephiroth.

Any SOLDIER worth his salt would take those words as a direct order, and leave with his tail tucked shamefully between his legs. The Second, of course, would have other ideas; brazen to a fault and with as much respect for authority as a desert receives rain.

Sephiroth of all people should know this about him, or had he forgotten in this self-made stupor of absent discovery?

He leans towards that desk once more, hopeful to catch his leader's eye as he spreads both palms against the wooden surface between the plethora of tomes which had yet to yield these so-called answers the Silver SOLDIER was looking for.

"And what exactly are you hoping to find among the mindless rambling of mad men, hm? You know the lies and deception already. It clings to us like rising damp." Tone devoid of humour and pomp, a deadpan expression accompanied by a light lilt of his head.

pardon me please, i'm just having a moment. possible tw for suicidal ideation and references to death and loss. bonus points for specifying a scenario!

from those who are struggling. ❝ i never thought i'd ever make it this far. ❞ ❝ ... when were you going to tell me about this? ❞ ❝ i don't ever want you to die. please ... don't die ... ❞ ❝ we had our whole lives planned out. ❞ ❝ i just can't, it's too much. it's too fucking much. ❞ ❝ losing him/her/them was the cruelest thing i've ever experienced. ❞ ❝ people say things like, 'you're going green with envy', or 'there's smoke coming out of your ears'. you think they'd come up with a statement like that that describes someone who's in constant pain like this ... ? ❞ ❝ sometimes you need to make room for grief. make time for it. embrace it. it's all i've been doing as of late. ❞ ❝ how is it possible to hurt this much when nothing's wrong? ❞ ❝ drowning in sadness is more fulfilling than drowning in pleasure these days. ❞ ❝ it's hard to let go of the fact that i'm probably going to outlive everyone else in my life. ❞ ❝ i've already lost everything near and dear to my heart. everything except for you. ❞ ❝ i'm just so tired. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. ❞ ❝ i was so close to giving up once. ❞ ❝ i don't want him/her/them to die alone. i'd never forgive myself. ❞ ❝ please, don't go ... i just need to feel your arms around me ... ❞ ❝ there's a reason why i hide my emotions locked in a metal cage so deep in my heart. it's so i won't get hurt like this again. ❞ ❝ i've always had to deal with these kinds of things alone. i don't need your help. ❞ ❝ it was my fault. i did this to him/her/them ... ❞ ❝ i can't even see my future anymore. i don't want to. ❞ ❝ there's no way i could possibly be this important to you. ❞ ❝ if i lose him/her/them, then there'll be nothing else for me to live for. ❞ ❝ i don't see a point anymore. in going on, i mean. ❞ ❝ time won't slow down. it never does. i had to learn that the hard way early on. ❞ ❝ go away ... please, just go away. ❞

Watch me move!      Cut me loose!           Let me do what I do~!

                                              I’m a living legend!

ᔕᑕOᖇᑕᕼIᑎG-ᑭᗩᔕᔕIOᑎ:

Independent selective Roche - FFVII-R - Roleplay blog, written by Saphie. Mun is over 30 years old. Please read rules page before interacting. Heavily canon divergent/HC based. Themes of a mature nature will be present here. Under 18′s need not follow nor interact.

"... you should continue with the knock-knock jokes. far less droll."

"I'm not your entertainer, SOLDIER." He replies with a calm but serious voice. Which to be fair, it's the voice Cyno always uses. "My jokes are out of necessity. If you need one, though, all you need is to ask."

He actually had one just now.

"... that's not a knock-knock joke..."