-This Is What I Am

The BAFTA Film Awards 2018

is it hot in here or is it just me?

you’re telling me that fra.nk, a white hitman, can kill a handful of people without any good reason, including an unborn baby and a young pregnant woman, and still end up getting a shitty redemption ark?  

and you’re telling me that the baby might actually be frank’s? that laurel cheated on wes with the man who stalked and emotionally manipulated her? 

yes, i specifically remember that she’d just found out about lila, because she compares frank to her dad, in that they’re both awful people.

i actually wrote an entire post after the season three finale about the importance of that conversation and how it was almost telling of what would happen later on, given that she compared frank and her dad…

the first thing she says is about frank: “he’s my father, basically.”  up until this point, it had been alluded to the fact that her dad was not a good man, but we never really knew why.  the comparison to frank is interesting having now seen the finale, because lila’s death and wes’ death very much mirror each other.

both of the murders are ordered by a phone call, and both of them carried out by the killer hovering over the body, ceasing their air flow.  add in that lila was pregnant, and wes was soon to find out he’d be a father, there’s no mistaking their resemblance.

so the fact that laurel makes this comparison of frank to her father, right after finding out he killed lila, to wes of all people, it seems like it was almost foreshadowed that her father would carry out something similar.

the next thing laurel says is: “he is not a good person, to the point where everything we’ve done with annalise…yeah, there’s a reason i haven’t been as messed up by it as everyone else.”

this serves to the severity of the situation, and how much she actually does love/care for wes.  she claims that she’s not as messed up by everything, because she’s been dealing with it her whole life, she’s almost immune.  however, the first time we actually see her father be the cause of something terrible, wes’ death, it literally has laurel losing her mind over it, more so than anybody else.  proving that it wasn’t so much she was immune to the things done to her by her father, but rather that she hadn’t allowed herself to care about anything or anyone enough to be affected…until wes.

then you have wes, who tells laurel, “you’ve been watching out for me…” seemingly since the very beginning of the series, which is then carried over to the fact that even in death, she’s propelled by this need to defend him, look out for him.

of course, there is then their first kiss, which seems to seal their fate right after a conversation about how horrible her dad is, comparing him to a man who had just killed a soon to be mother.

and that is just a horrible, horrible fate.

so not only did laurel NOT cheat on wes in that particular scene, but it also serves as more evidence that it would be out of character for her to have cheated on wes, as well as a direct comparison of how out of character (or a regression in character growth) last week’s episode was for her.

but again, this is expecting pete to have actually put some thought into what’s going on, and he clearly is just about shock value and cheap thrills, with no regard as to how things come off or the assassination of characterization with certain actions.

so you know…

because the narrative has changed now that they’ve completely assassinated who laurel is by having her cheat on wes and lying to his face about it.  this isn’t about love, this is about guilt.  

which is just a big fuck you to wes as she sits in his apartment.

but it’s all good, because now…

I DON’T HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE.

THEY KILLED WES.

THEY ASSASSINATED LAUREL.

THE BABY COULD BE FRANK’S.

EVERYBODY I LOVED FROM THIS SHOW IS GONE.

AND THEY’LL RUIN/KILL ANYONE ELSE I REMOTELY LIKED.

BUT THEY CAN’T HURT ME ANYMORE.

BECAUSE I AM FREE.

ENJOY YOUR PLUMMETING RATINGS.

as soon as THAT character makes an entrance

they also entered your life

and you’re just like… yep, this is it

that’s the one I want… this is the one I have chosen

this smol bean

is simply perfect

the most beautiful soul in this entire world

and you know they’re going to be the death of you?