when your fantasies become your legacy

- People making fun of you because you don’t understand what’s a joke and what isn’t

- Saying something completely serious and people laughing because they think it’s a joke

- People cutting you off when you’re speaking because it’s taking you too long to say what you need to say

- Hating certain foods because of their texture being weird and people getting really offended

- People thinking you’re lying when you tell them you’re on the Autism spectrum because APPARENTLY THAT’S A THING PEOPLE LIE ABOUT even though you HAVE A DIAGNOSIS FROM A DOCTOR

- Not understanding how even your own emotions work at all and then Puberty happens

- People trying to force you to act “like a person”

- Not getting diagnosed till the middle of fourth grade because female symptoms manifest differently

- Not knowing something you’re doing is bad and then people yelling at you for it without explanation

- Doing something that shouldn’t be considered bad but that you can’t control either and being punished for it

- Crying. Like all the time. Crying or getting angry.

- People telling you you could be like that Temple Grandin chick like seriously guys I don’t want to fucking hear it anymore

- Trying to talk about your interests and not being able to tell if someone is bored or annoyed is the worst

- Not being able to read body language or facial expressions or tone of voice

“So, I’ve always been very reluctant to the idea of one night stands, having sex with people you’re not involved with and so on. (My friends even make fun of me because I find it a little absurd that they sleep with so many people!)

Turns out I haven’t been involved with anyone for a while and the lack of sex was driving me crazy. Also, I live in a dormitory and have a roommate, so some “me” time is very hard to get.

One of these days I went to a party and was feeling (I don’t know why because it never happens) very sexy/sexual. But I drank too much and lost my friends so was thinking about calling it a night and going home (which was right across the street).

On my way, somehow (I honestly don’t remember) I met a guy and we instantly connected so I invited him to go to the dorms with me to have pizza. I really wasn’t thinking about doing anything with him because I knew my roommate would be in our room so it was impossible. So we just went, he even left his coat at the party thinking he’d come back soon.

And then again, somehow, after the pizza, we were siting in the stairs talking and making out and out of nowhere I just spotted the kitchen (which is for all students, so it doesn’t lock) and took him there.

We were furiously making out with me sitting it the table when he started to undress me. I stopped, closed the door and he used a broom to jam it shut. He took off all of my clothes and went down on me right there, still fully dressed.

It was the hottest thing I’ve ever done. We had hot, rushed, rough sex there as he turned me on my back and I laid a little on the kitchen’s table. His shirt was entirely wet when we finished and I was even a little sore.

He asked for my number and I went to my room, as if nothing had happened. The next day I woke up feeling hangover and extremely guilty, even though we used a condom it was something I never thought I’d do.

I always thought if I did something like that guys would think I’m a whore and just disappear. Turns out the guy texted me, found me on facebook and we’ve been talking ever since. He is sweet and interesting, doesn’t think anything bad of me and made me feel good about we did.