I Hope You Did Not Miss Me

The room was nice.

Hetemit had been in here for days, healing, and that was really all she could say about the room. It was nice. It wasn’t very homey, or cozy, it was just… nice. It felt more like a set for a movie than somewhere to live, in all honesty. Like it was more for show, and she could look behind a curtain or piece of furniture and find wires and rigging instead of walls. It didn’t feel at all as comfortable as her room - the room she had stayed in for years, the room Kish had taken her to when she fell asleep in front of them soon after they had become friends, the room she made.

But Eridanus made it for her. Her first friend… she didn’t want to seem ungrateful to him. And how could he know her tastes? They’d been separated for fifty years - she didn’t think he’d ever seen her room back then, at least not that she could recall. So how could he possibly know what she would prefer? He would have absolutely no clue, of course, so he would have had to just go with what he thought she would like.

He could have asked me a small voice in her head whispers. She ignores it. She’s been ignoring a lot of thoughts lately.

How long ago did her last visitor leave? An hour? Two? Stuck in her bed, there’s not much she can do. She can’t really read, or embroider, or anything right now. There isn’t even a television in here to watch a movie, not that she’d really want to do so alone. It just wasn’t the same without someone there to watch with her. All it would do is remind her of how alone she was right now. Utterly, piercingly alone. Eridanus was working, Kish was busy with the Night Creatures, and everyone else… well, they couldn’t always be visiting.

She sighed, and looked around. How many times had she counted the dots on the ceiling? How many times had she made patterns in the creases of the fabric? How many times had her hands itched to sew something, to call someone, to do something to numb this ever present boredom? She couldn’t even begin to count it. She knew the pretty grounds outside her window weren’t real, just an illusion created by Eridanus when he changed the looks of the department, and yet she found herself watching birds and making pictures in the clouds more than she’d ever done before. What else was there to do?

Footsteps echoed from beneath the door, catching her attention. Watching the door closely, she waited, waited for it to open - and open it did, revealing Eridanus, and Kish following behind him. The sight of Kish brought a stab of sorrow to her heart - they were so clearly suffering, clearly still not well after her injury, and yet they still worked tirelessly, keeping everything working where she could not. She wanted to hold them, protect them, but…

A voice cut through her thoughts, as familiar as it was jarring. “Darling, I have some terrible news - I’ve been called away by another demon.” Eridanus’ expression of sorrow looked so painful, as if being torn away from her caused him physical pain. “An ally of mine needs my help, and I’m the only one who can help them. If this wasn’t so important, I would never leave your side, I promise.”

Eridanus was… leaving? The thought made her insides twist. She didn’t want him to go! She didn’t want anyone to leave her again! Couldn’t he send someone else, delegate, work from here? She couldn’t bear to see her oldest friend leave - he’d been gone for so long, what if he didn’t come back? And yet… a part of her, deep down, felt relieved. Relieved that she would have a respite from his hungry eyes, from the way he touched her so much, from his damnable smirk. She couldn’t let herself think about that though. Wouldn’t. She didn’t want to seem… like she didn’t like him, after all. And what if…what if Gerald or anyone else tried to come back, and do something like that again? He couldn’t go!

“Of course, I will return as soon as possible, my lovely wife. I would never leave you.” He approaches, and gently cups her cheek, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. It’s something he’s done before, so she was expecting it, and yet… Hetemit can’t place the emotion it causes in her. She ignores this too. And yet… the strange way she felt something flutter inside her was even harder to ignore.

“Our sweet candy apple will, of course, stay with you in my stead. I’m sure they don’t mind tending to your wounds.” Kish, obediently, shakes their head, short hair bouncing slightly as they do.

“Of Course Not. I Would Be So Happy To Make Sure You Are Doing Okay, Love.” Their voice has that stilted, jagged edge that she’s come to associate with their current headspace. It’s no longer as stressful, but it still hurts to hear. She knows it’s because of how stressed they are, how much they’re pushing away their own feelings to protect her… How can she get them to understand she wants them to be happy more than “convenient”?

“I see… hurry back, please. And stay safe…” Her voice is soft, careful. “We will be waiting for your return.” What else can she say? She can’t make him stay - he might get in trouble - and she doesn’t want him to think she wants him to leave, no no why would she want her precious husband to leave. Does she even want him to leave?

“Of course, my lovely little wife. Nothing will stop me from returning the moment I can. You mean so much to me…” His gaze is hungry, and there’s a pit where her stomach would be as she watches him look her over one last time. She can’t understand… what could he be thinking about, right now…?

Eridanus was furious. No, he was enraged. How dare that bastard call upon him, now he had his dove right where he wanted her? Were it not for the fact that Beelzebub was more powerful than him, he’d gladly ignore them in exchange for focusing on his dove. Everything was perfect, but who knows how it would be when he returned? Those fools, especially that… scientist and her beastly creature, How dare they act like they knew best, trying to take what was his away from him? Oh, how he longed to tear them both to shreds, but unfortunately, the… thing was more powerful than him, so he couldn’t risk it. But a man could dream.

Still… he kept up his smile, eyes trailing over his dove. Oh, how he would miss her while he was away. He was so close, so close to making her truly his. And his little treat… well they certainly were a surprise. But their usefulness was about to serve its final purpose. Whatever had happened to them… he didn’t care. Without them, he had no idea how he would have managed to keep his hands to himself with his dove like this, so helpless, so fragile… alas, she wouldn’t like that, and that would certainly be a shame. After all the work he’s put in… he would have had to start again from scratch. But with his treat here… he had a safe outlet for his wandering hands… but…

Speaking of his treat… he wasn’t sure if he could get control of the department back if he gave it to his dove… she’d insist she was fine, able to manage the stress, and he’d have to find some other way to keep her close. But if he gave control to them. well, there’s always a chance they’d give it to her, like the good little pet they were. But if he Ordered them not to… well then. That would certainly be useful now, wouldn’t it? And while he was at it, he could Order them to keep his little wife safe. Without him in the picture, she was practically defenceless if someone like that human tried to attack her again. What if she didn’t come back next time…? He couldn’t stand that.

“I would give you back control of the department before I left, love… but you’re still so weak, so fragile. I couldn’t bear to put that burden on you in your current state.” He ran his fingers through her hair, gently, barely withholding the urge to kiss her. “But… perhaps I could give it to our dear candy apple? I am sure they can keep everything running until you’re back to full health, or until my return.”

She frowned slightly - clearly still concerned about his treat’s current state - but eventually nodded. “You’re right… I don’t think I could handle it right now.” Her face falls… and something twists inside him. She did adore her little pet… he can understand. He adores her so much, and it made him happy to see her so much like him… but he wanted her to be all his. For her to care this much about her little pet… it infuriated him. She is his, not theirs. Even they seemed to recognise this - the entire time he’d known them, they’d been practically screaming that she owned them. And yet… they’re still just a pet.

Perhaps he should separate them… make her think she’s been hurting them, so she wouldn’t want to see them, perhaps? Insist that they’d been suffering, that they were drawn to her because she hurt them and not in spite of it. Turn her care for them against her… And play the wonderful friend, helping her dear pet recover from what she’d done to them… perhaps he’d even let her see them again, once he was certain she’s his and his alone. Though he would never give them up… no, they’re such a good toy, and he could always just hide them away until he wanted to play with them again. They’re hardly as important to him as his dove…

He smiled at her, warmly. “Thank you, dove. I won’t take a minute.” He moved over to his treat, and paused, just for a moment. “Ah, would you mind if I talk to them outside for just a moment? I just want to double check something with them.”

“Of course, by all means.” Her expression was confused, and yet she clearly wasn’t going to argue. Good. He took his treat by the hand, gently leading them outside. Such an obedient little thing, he didn’t even have to tell them to shut the door behind them. Once they were outside he pulled them close, kissing them roughly but quietly. He’d have to leave right after this conversation… So what was the harm in getting one last kiss? And with his darling laying there, looking so wonderful… such a shame he couldn’t devour her entirely, right then and there. Ah, but once he was back…

His sweet candy apple, so dedicated to making him happy, kissed back as best they could, arms around his shoulders as they leant up to let him kiss them better. The one thing he regretted about this maid outfit was how covered up they were… perhaps when he returned he could get them to switch to that other maid outfit… then again, he doubted he would need the extra temptation when they were already so sweet. He usually had them dress in less revealing outfits than his dove… but he could always switch it up. His little angel was so happy to please after all~

He broke the kiss with a hum, one arm wrapped around his treat’s waist, as his other hand cupped their cheek. He couldn’t wait until he could do this with his dove as well… it would be so perfect. Such an inconvenience that so many people want to take his dove and treat away from him… take away his perfect ending. His perfect family. Ridiculous. If only his dove weren’t so attached to them…but what if he could

“Ah, I should transfer the department to you now, shouldn’t I? Well, I have a few little things for you to do as well…” He kissed them again as he transferred control over the department to them, soft and quick this time. “Now that that’s done… I order you not to hand over control of the department to Hetemit, and if she asks, tell her you’re waiting for her to be completely healed.” He grins as they shudder slightly, seeing the order take hold. “And one more thing… I order you to protect Hetemit, and to stop her from being hurt, even at the cost of your own life.”

They stared up at him, blank gaze peering through him as they nodded. Eridanus couldn’t help the grin on his face as he kissed them again, once more, before leading them back into his dove’s room.

“My apologies, my love, just had to set a few things straight. Regrettably, I’ll have to leave you now, but hopefully it won’t be for long.” He led his treat over to her bed, letting their hand go as he finally took his chance and kissed Hetemit softly. She returned it, no less surprised than the first time but equally soft. “Until my return…farewell, dove, candy apple.” And with that, Eridanus swept out of the room, mind awash with plans to separate his dove and treat, plans to warm his dove up to him, and plans to strangle that bastard Beelzebub.

With Eridanus gone, Hetemit felt slightly… lighter somehow. It pained her to acknowledge, but… somehow, things just felt better when it was just her and Kish, alone. And yet, her metaphorical gut twisted knowing he was gone. She had gotten so used to him being here. Just him and her, so why does he have to leave?! She sighed, pushing the thoughts away again, and reaching out for Kish. They leant forwards obediently, cuddling into her arms. Her hand found their way to their hair, still not used to it being so short as she carded her fingers through it. For a moment, it was just her and Kish, laying together. So quiet. So peaceful… she almost didn’t want it to end.

And yet… she had to ask. When was the last time she and Kish were alone together, without Eridanus lurking in the corner, listening in? When was the last time she could just… hold them close, keep them safe, listen to their worries? She sighed, softly, gently pressing a kiss to Kish’s forehead. She couldn’t keep quiet about this, no matter how she felt about it. Kish… they were worth a little discomfort, a little awkward conversation.

… they’d usually be purring, when they cuddled her. When was the last time she heard them purr?

“Kish… “ Her words are soft, careful. “How are you feeling? Last time we spoke… you weren’t doing well.”

“I Do Not Understand… I Am Doing Fine…?”

“Please don’t lie to me, Kish.”

Their eyes flicker slightly as they look at her, as if they’re stuck between two answers. Their empty eyes shimmer, like glitter, and they cling a little tighter to her.

“Love… are you scared of talking about your emotions? I promise, I am feeling a lot better… you won’t be burdening me.”

They pause, and she can feel them shaking. She’s about to tell them they don’t have to tell her anything, before they speak.

“I… I Have Been Running On Autopilot. My. My Conscious Mind Was Just. Too Overwhelmed. It Hid In A Dreamworld. Everything Was Too Much.”

Their shaking gets worse as they cling to her, and she could almost swear they saw a red glow around their neck… but it must have been a trick of the light. She holds them to her chest, gently kissing their forehead. “That must have been so awful, love. I am so sorry you felt you had to do that…”

Her love hadn’t been fully present for so long… how had she not noticed? Her heart ached. They were in so much pain, for so long… and still hid it, just for her. Still wanted to protect her, still tried to care for her even as their mind hid and their bodies worked without active thought. Part of it warmed her heart. She was so important to them, that loving her was an intrinsic part of their being… The rest was horrified she hadn’t noticed sooner.

“It is okay love, you’re safe now… you can come out of your dream. I’m here, I'll protect you. I promise.” She wished she could purr, so she could comfort them even better. That she could completely curl around them, block the rest of the world away and hide them from all the pain and suffering life had to offer.

“I…” Their voice is breathy, quiet. She watches, as they raise their head to look at her, and the static in their eyes trickles out of them like tears, leaving their bright blue still glassy but back. “Love…? Where… We Were…”

“It is alright love… you were dreaming. I’m here now, everything will be alright.”

Their eyes begin to shimmer, this time with tears, as they cling to her tightly. “I W-Was Having A Nightmare… We Were Back In OSHA And…” They pause, as she furrows her brows. Back in OSHA? They never left… Kish’s eyes widen slightly, and they lean back slightly, looking around for something. They look… terrified.