lynnette / lynn / lapis ── any pronouns, gender apathetic, aromantic, aplatonic.

this is a sideblog i wanted to create to share my shifting journey and advice as a shifter with szpd (schizoid personality disorder) since much of the advice i see around cannot apply to me due it. if you would like to follow my main, where i blog about life with szpd and my other disorders, it's @omniregentt. do not dm me unless i give you permission. asks are very welcome. i'm also happy to answer questions related to szpd that aren't to do with shifting.

my drs ── kpop girl group, kpop co-ed group, persona 5 royal, grave of traumerei, fate/stay night and some original stories of mine.

DR INTROS persona 5 original superhero dr

on the verge of shifting to the magnus archives because i have enough hubris (and logical thinking? perhaps?) to be convinced that none of the fears would be able to do much to me. except, maybe, like, make friends.

the end ⎯⎯ i don't fear death because i have shifting. the desolation ⎯⎯ i don't care. the slaughter ⎯⎯ again, don't care. the hunt ⎯⎯ i'm a thrill seeker who would enjoy being hunted. the flesh ⎯⎯ i'm very curious about the human body and one's relationship to it; not at all fearful. the corruption ⎯⎯ i like being sick and bugs are cute. the stranger ⎯⎯ i don't like change and uncertainty but i'm not afraid of it. i think curiosity about the entity would override any potential fear. the buried ⎯⎯ always loved tight spaces, i'm a caver, and wouldn't mind being crushed or suffocating to death. the web ⎯⎯ i'm into that, i don't care. also spiders are cute. the eye ⎯⎯ also into that. the spiral ⎯⎯ quite the opposite, i love the idea of insanity. questioning reality has always felt both disturbing and thrilling to me. the lonely ⎯⎯ i have szpd, i am immune. the vast ⎯⎯ again, szpd, i would definitely prefer being alone in space or whatever. the dark ⎯⎯ it's comforting to me. the extinction ⎯⎯ i don't care.

realising that while a large part of my identity and life is my disorders because they affect me in every way, but also knowing that i am the one shaping my life and that my mental illnesses cannot and will not control my shifting journey >>>>

DR INTRO ⎯⎯ PERSONA 5 .

name ﹕lynn or "maestro" by the phantom thieves. (sketch above). honours student at shujin academy. well known local pianist and vocalist. my persona resembles the harmonious choir boss from honkai: star rail.

i have a sister named eiko ⎯⎯ an npc you see a couple of times in the game. we were childhood friends raised by single parents. they fell in love. her phantom thief alias is "iron maiden."

friends ﹕ goro akechi was another childhood friend. nowadays we mostly cross paths when our schedules line up; being on the same show or shoot. yoshizawa sumire was the first person at shujin i found myself talking to, due to sharing the honour student status. we get boba together every week. partner ﹕ kitagawa yusuke. autisticschizoid4autisticschizoid relationship because i say so ok. didn't script i'd date him but it came to me in a realisation and now i'm attached to that idea. other people of note ﹕ niijima makoto, my sister's crush. i hope they get together soon so i can catch a break from eiko gushing over how gorgeous she is.

shifting to fatamoru would be fun for about five minutes before something horrifying innevitably happens but i'm thinking about it regardless.

i don't often choose to channel people i know in my drs but for some reason - God knows why - Akechi is always trying to contact me to talk about nothingburger topics, or remind me to do chores.

shifting to fulfil my childhood dream of riding a pegasus 💕

current goals 💭

1. manifesting a ton of money so i can buy more lolita coords. 2. setting the intention to shift every night, regardless of whether or not i have a specific place i want to be, just getting that idea out there and becoming further aware of my abilities. 3. manifesting i breeze through my end of year exams. 4. manifesting my ideal body.

thinking about my fate/stay night dr 💭

i can't decide if i want to keep the original cast, script a new one or leave it for my subconscious to choose. i want to shift just so i can see who my servant is... and punch kireiiiiiii... kirei kotomine you will not be able to avoid strikes from my hand.

i need more dr ideas that aren't reliant on a fictional source, socialising or living a life of comfort/relaxation. maybe i should just be alone in an apocalypse lol.

i know that i date someone in my persona 5 dr thanks to a realisation i had. i'm not interested in shifting for love, so i was surprised, but it fits. i think that out of everyone i know across all of my dr's that he would be the least bothered by my schizoid traits, since he's often called 'weird' and 'odd' too. so there's mutual understanding. and he's also pre-occupied with his main interest (art), rather than being around people, which i like.

anyway ⎯⎯ i try not to think about the fact that i'm dating someone there because i can feel engulfment even from that. he's definitely what i'd call an ep or ip (exception person/interest person) but only in that dr. like, in memories and realisations i'm interested in him but otherwise i'm as uncomfortable as i am with everyone (barring my ep/ip here). somehow i manage to be wildly possessive anyway, regardless of my lack of interest, but that's a completely different issue.

ORIGINAL DR INTRO .

IMPERIAL SCHOOL OF POWER hero academy ⎯⎯ .

name . ⎯⎯ lynette brooks (sketch above) ability (known as my one rule). ⎯⎯ i can switch the form of objects and living things from 3D to 2D. education . ⎯⎯ graduate of the imperial school of power / student of the imperial school of power (~2 versions of this dr). reputation . ⎯⎯ a well known hero operating within paramedicine and hostage retrieval. her rule allows her to carry more than 3x what a normal paramedic could and in hostage retrieval missions she uses her rule to turn herself 2D and sneak in to carry people to safety / most of the school know of her but don't know her, she's polite and undeniably talented but very asocial.

i created a whole school system, schedule, classes and clubs for my original superhero world dr only for my drself to end up as someone who's already graduated...

to anyone who needs to hear this ── being mentally ill doesn't make you unfit to shift.

journaling from the perspective of your drself is such an underrated activity. i've made it a goal to do it every night before i sleep and turned it into a shifting method too ── the act of writing as if i'm in my dr before i sleep ensures i'll wake up there.

much of the advice i see about connecting to your desired realities involves other people, be it a significant other or friends. for a long time i thought shifting wasn't 'for me' because i'm so disinterested in other people and found it impossible to find connection to my drs in that way.

i am still figuring out ways to connect that work for me, but for now i recommend that if you feel the same, you find something else about your dr you feel interested in ── even just the concept of shifting and a vague sense of curiosity is perfectly fine. for me, it's adrenaline. i shift to experience that sense of thrill and danger because i'm chronically bored.

layout test . . .