bnfa
hello. hi. i cant stop thinking about you. i might have pushed you away. i still smell you on my skin. i can still remember how you taste. my heart aches to see you again but i know itโs damn right impossible unless you reach out. iโm sorry. iโm so sorry. i think iโve fallen. iโve fallen. what if i told you that iโve fallen?
it never wouldโve worked
thereโs a physical pain inside my chest
i keep waiting for your review on letterboxd. iโm insanely anguished we wonโt see each other again.
SO FUCKING IRONIC that i know your full name and your passport number and your phone number and your kiss and how your body works and looks like but i dont even know your instagram handle
ok. hereโs the fuck up part i was talking about earlier. i may have lachesism. it means the desire to be struck by disaster. basically itโs just me fucking things up. anyway. iโll never send this to you, but i need to put it down anyway. i really enjoyed the past weeks. we were talking fine and we were slowly building a friendship. and now you donโt want to see each other again. itโs pretty sad. pretty damn bleak if you ask me. idk i just was hopeful that, even a friendship, we were building. iโm actually dreading you hooking up with anyone else. and i know, i know thatโs very possessive of me. i have no fucking right. but i canโt help what i feel. i already miss you. i miss touching you, i miss your skin against mine. my hair tie smells like you. my jacket smells like you. now that i think about it, it smells like heartbreak. youโre so pretty and smart and kind and i canโt fucking believe you donโt want to see me again. it pains me. it aches like the burning of a thousand suns. was i not good enough? did i not treat you the way you wanted me to? was i not enough for you? iโm sorry. iโm so sorry. i think iโve fallen in the hours we were together. i shouldnโt have, but i think i did. i didnโt mean to fall in love tonight. i hope you think of me. i hope you think of my fingers and my hands. i hope you think of my kiss. like how i think of how the way your eyes glisten is so goddamn beautiful. youโre so damn beautiful. iโm sorry again. iโm sorry, always. iโll miss you. i miss you.
iโm so devastated we wonโt see each other soon. or ever. again.
bianca. oh, bianca. like a shakespearean tragedy, you have caused me. a heartache and a heartbreak rolled into one.
oh, bianca.
a could have been, you are. you always will be. i hope south korea gives you the cold my heart feels now that youโve left me.
i hope you think of me.
