scattered pieces of me

Jag vill att du håller om mig.

people always say that internet spaces are americanised because the users are majority americans.

and i do always wonder how much of that is "there are actually a majority of usamericans" and how much is "usamerican cultural markers are a default for many online spaces, and non usamericans are often indistinguishable from usamericans unless you're actively looking".

so here's an incredibly unscientific poll reblog for reach or whatever

I didn't have time to write anything new for this fandom event (thank you for organising @hillerska-spirit-week!), but I wanted to do something small to join in the spirit. So here are some scenes from my existing fics that vaguely fit (most of) the prompts!

The first one is under the cut, and I will reblog this throughout the day to add the rest, counting backwards from today's prompt.

#5: Beach Day

From The real deal (pre-S1, AU and OOC from S2). Walter's POV. Marcus is not Marcus from S2 but an OC by the same name!

“By the way,” Marcus is saying to Alexander just as Walter turns back to them, “I went to the staff room to ask about the clubs and teams and whatnot.”

“Just the sports, or music too?” Alexander asks. “I’m still undecided if I should continue with the violin. Mum will be upset if I quit, but I’m not going to have much spare time with all my duties at Forest Ridge.”

“I still don’t get why you volunteered for more of those. I’d pay good money to get off the router completely.”

“The same reason as the last time you asked. It’ll look good on my record, and I’ll get to know everyone else doing them. Even August, since I’m going to report back to him. So did you ask about music?”

“I did, but the music teacher wasn’t there. Anyway, the P.E. teacher said most sports are starting either next week or the week after. We can join them whenever we want, except for the rowing team. So you’ve got plenty of time to come play tennis with me when you get sick of all your extra chores.”

Alexander simply rolls his eyes. He proceeds to cut a neat piece of the last vegetable patty on his plate and smear some sauce on it, giving Walter the chance to intervene.

“What about the rowing team?”

That came out a touch more upset than Walter intended, but he doesn’t mind showing that he genuinely loves rowing. He is eager to get back to it, and besides, having a well-known passion of his own makes it far less suspicious when he pretends to get interested in whatever his new friends happen to like.

He still moderates his voice to elaborate, “I figured they’d be opening try-outs soon. They must be a few guys short after the summer.”

“You’d think so, but the teacher said they won’t be taking new recruits until sometime next month,” Marcus says, realisation dawning on his face. “Oh. You talked about rowing in your introduction on Monday, didn’t you? Sorry, I didn’t think to ask what was up.”

“That’s okay, I appreciate the info anyway,” Walter assures him. “I’ll have to ask August or his friend. The one he tagged in his post about them being captain and vice-captain this year.”

“Nils Polstjerna,” Alexander supplies helpfully. The name is not new to Walter, who has already looked up the Prefect’s two best friends. Nils is new money, while the other one, Vincent af Klintskog, is heir to an untitled noble family.

A bit like Alexander and Henry. It’s almost funny how most people here fall into such specific categories.

“Yeah, I saw that post too.” Marcus reaches out for the pitcher of water and offers to pour some for Walter and Alexander as well. “So Walter. I remember you said you’ve been rowing for a few years, but are you any good? Like, objectively. If you don’t mind me asking.”

The cheeky tone draws a laugh out of Walter, and Alexander chuckles along as well.

“I don’t mind, and yeah, I’d say I am,” Walter says truthfully. “I know I don’t necessarily look like it, but you only need big guys for the engine room – that’s what the middle seats are called. The bow seat and especially the stroke seat in the stern are more about technique than strength,” he explains, knowing most people have no idea about the crew positions on a quad scull. “Stroking has been the captain’s job in the teams I’ve been on, but I’m good at bowing.”

From Årnäs, February 2016 (pre-canon). August's POV.

“You might as well pour me a drink.”

Carl Johan didn’t really have to ask. August was already approaching the side table, having sprung up from his chair the moment he heard his father’s brisk steps in the hallway. He opened the cap of the whiskey decanter and proceeded to pour with the same care as always, intently watching the surface of the liquor until it looked just right. Then he replaced the cap and swiftly delivered the drink to Carl Johan, who had taken a seat behind the desk.

“Here you go, Dad.”

August lingered on his feet, waiting for a reaction. It came in the form of a nod, stiff enough to indicate that Carl Johan wasn’t in the mood for outspoken thanks. August nodded back with a suitably serious look and rounded the desk to sit in the other chair again.

Silence fell over them as Carl Johan nursed his whiskey. It was usually best not to say anything until the alcohol mellowed him out. August allowed his mind and gaze to wander the room in the meantime.

The study was one of the rooms at Årnäs where the historical décor had been kept mostly intact. It wasn’t quite original, but most of it predated the first major remodelling. Even the masonry stove which had not been used in a long time was still there. The only modern piece of furniture, Carl Johan’s chair, had been specifically designed to fit between the large antique desk and even larger oil painting of the estate without clashing.

August had been drawn to this room since he was little. There were photos of him playing on the floor, and he had lots of memories of playing at the desk. He used to climb into his father’s chair, sniff the leather, and pretend that the cologne that clung to it was his own. He was Count August Horn of Årnäs, this was his study, and he had important affairs to attend to. More often than not, those affairs included letters to his second cousin Erik, the King of Sweden, which he pretended to sign and seal with a nice button from one of his jackets. The generic ornament embossed on it was nothing like Carl Johan’s signet ring, but August didn’t dare to risk staining the desk with real ink or sealing wax anyway.

Happy 5th Anniversary of Young Royals from Plush Sara + August and (approximate) Rousseau!

obviously we can rule out goalkeeper, but other than that i can't really say for sure. (and i'm going at this entirely based on s1e2 because i don't remember her ever bringing it up.)

looking at this one it seems like bjärstad might be attacking towards the right given how many players with blue jerseys there's on the right. then again, pretty much all football we actually see happens on the midfield around the halfway line so i can't be 100% sure - and many of the passes we can see make very little sense in terms of making the game progress in either direction and in helping determine which team attacks which way.

if we go with the assumption that bjärstad is going for the goal on the right, then it seems like that would make rosh a defender. she's the second from left here.

here we see rosh as one of the two players on the far left. her positioning would make her a central defender, but given how we see her closer to the touch line a couple of times would also suggest a wingback.

there's a couple of instances where there's players playing lower than her - here when she does her dance there's two players on the left which would indicate that those players are the central defence - which would support the wingback theory.

i know roles aren't fixed, players move all over the pitch and are thrown into different playing positions depending on the opponent. bjärstad looks like they're playing with a 3-4-3 formation here (as does their opponent, actually).

if bjärstad were attacking towards the left, it would suggest rosh is a striker or a winger. however, i don't feel like anything she does on the pitch really backs that. i could be entirely wrong though because again, this match is very hard to figure out given it doesn't move much past the halfway line.

numbers on the jerseys aren't much help because they're not as fixed as they once were, but i feel like if she were a striker, she'd be wearing #9 (or #10), not #24. not that that number makes much sense for a defender either, honestly.

FYI: I’ve never played football myself, only watched it, so any feedback from real life football players is more than welcome.

What threw me off in this shot was the absence of the center-back if they’re playing 4-4-2 (4 defenders, 4 midfielders, 2 forwards, the most common system in Sweden). But we see her together with (at least) two other defenders being a bit more idle when Bjärstad is attacking here:

If we assume that Bjärstad scores to the right, number 21 is the center forward in the blue team (we see Rosh battling with her here):

And we also see Rosh collaborating with the midfielders in trying to remove the ball from her here:

At first I didn't realize that there were more defenders between them and the goal here. But in a way it would be so in character for Rosh to dance and just let the opponent land herself in offside position 😂

In this last shot, we see the Bjärstad defenders trying break an attack from the forward in the opposing team (number 21) but she ends up doing a back-heel kick that her team mates probably are to far away to catch.

obviously we can rule out goalkeeper, but other than that i can't really say for sure. (and i'm going at this entirely based on s1e2 because i don't remember her ever bringing it up.)

looking at this one it seems like bjärstad might be attacking towards the right given how many players with blue jerseys there's on the right. then again, pretty much all football we actually see happens on the midfield around the halfway line so i can't be 100% sure - and many of the passes we can see make very little sense in terms of making the game progress in either direction and in helping determine which team attacks which way.

if we go with the assumption that bjärstad is going for the goal on the right, then it seems like that would make rosh a defender. she's the second from left here.

here we see rosh as one of the two players on the far left. her positioning would make her a central defender, but given how we see her closer to the touch line a couple of times would also suggest a wingback.

there's a couple of instances where there's players playing lower than her - here when she does her dance there's two players on the left which would indicate that those players are the central defence - which would support the wingback theory.

i know roles aren't fixed, players move all over the pitch and are thrown into different playing positions depending on the opponent. bjärstad looks like they're playing with a 3-4-3 formation here (as does their opponent, actually).

if bjärstad were attacking towards the left, it would suggest rosh is a striker or a winger. however, i don't feel like anything she does on the pitch really backs that. i could be entirely wrong though because again, this match is very hard to figure out given it doesn't move much past the halfway line.

numbers on the jerseys aren't much help because they're not as fixed as they once were, but i feel like if she were a striker, she'd be wearing #9 (or #10), not #24. not that that number makes much sense for a defender either, honestly.

Previously in their cycle of "kiss, wilhelm freaks out, wilhelm says forget about it, wilhelm can't forget about it, wilhelm takes it back, they both are happy" Simon finds it easier to forgive him because, while maybe not healthy, the excitement out weighed the betrayal (if that makes sense?)

Simon has a crush on a prince, the prince likes him back but is clearly dealing with some internalized stuff, every time they kiss it comes with the thrill of "this isn't something we should be doing but I want it so bad" so the "let's forget about that ill advised thing we did" while hurtful, doesn't cut AS deep. And so when Wilhelm eventually comes back Simon is more excited by the thrill of "I matter enough to him that he came back" over shadows the hurt, (EVEN THOUGH HE DOESNT REALLY GET A GOOD APOLOGY BACK!! WHICH GOES BACK TO MY OTHER POST ABOUT WILHELM VS TAKING RESPONSIBILITY!!).

Additionally, these splits weren't something that Simon wanted. Which is also important to note.

Then you have the split over the video. This isn't just a crush anymore for them, they aren't just friends who kiss, they've admitted they like each other, they're as close to dating as they can be in secret, wilhelm later said he loved him for gods sake. And what wilhelm did wasn't JUST get scared. He broke a promise. He left Simon hanging to be the sole target of something they should have stood together for.

So Simon sets a boundary. He doesn't want to be a secret anymore, he knows he cant make wilhelm come out, but he doesn't have to be with him. So he breaks up with wilhelm.

ans when Wilhelm comes back like "haha that was crazy. Welp time to get back together now." Simon, rightfully, is like "no? I like you a lot but the reason I broke up with you still very much exists, nothing has changed, I need you to respect the boundary I've set and my request for space"

Wilhelm is a prince, he's childish, he's used to getting everything he wants.

Simon is more soft spoken, but he's finally setting his foot down.